Title: Not Going There

Summary: Rhodey really needs to change the lock on his apartment. (College Tony and Rhodes)

Word count: 481

Rating: Mature

Warning: Slashy situation, masturbation, voyeurism, Tony being Tony.

Author's note: Complete crack, but it amused me.


Tony was bored and saw no reason to suffer such an indignity alone. Without knocking first, he unlocked the door to Rhodey's apartment in one smooth move and walked straight in. When he didn't find Rhodey in the front room he continued on to the bedroom.

"Hey," he said, "Want to go harass the…" He stopped when he caught sight of Rhodey lying on the bed, shirtless, with his pants pushed down around his thighs and his hand wrapped around his hard cock.

Rhodey managed to hiss an annoyed 'fuck' before letting out a loud moan and arching his body. Tony couldn't help himself-- he just stood there and watched, fascinated, as his friend jerk himself off.

When Rhodey was done-- his bare chest rising and falling as he tried to get his breath back, his cock soft and limp in his hand-- Tony grabbed the towel sitting on the dresser and handed it to Rhodey. He then forced Rhodey to move over a little so he could sit on the bed next to him. Bracing his back against the headboard, Tony dug his heels into the mattress and stared at the opposite wall.

"Uh, sorry," he said, "didn't realize you were busy."

"What are you doing?" Tony knew from Rhodey's tone that he was getting 'the look.'

"That was…surprisingly hot."

"Hot?"

Tony nodded as he continued to stare at the wall. "Uh yeah. Kind of why I'm sitting-- standing's a bit of an issue at the moment."

"I didn't need to know that."

"Then you shouldn't have asked." He looked down at Rhodey. They stared at each other for a minute.

Tony opened his mouth to say something but Rhodey cut him off. "No."

"What?"

"No. Just no."

"You don't know what I was going to say."

"Yes I do and the answer is still no."

"But…"

"Lalala."

"Okay, that was childish."

Rhodey rolled off the bed. "We're not going there," he said as he marched to the bathroom, holding his pants up with one hand while the other held the towel.

"I think we already went there!" Tony called out after him. He could hear Rhodey muttering something as the door was kicked shut. Taking a deep breath Tony shouted, "You going to be in there long?"

There was a moment of silence. "Do I need to be?" Rhodey finally asked.

"Well that or I need to be in there and you need to be out here."

Tony was sure Rhodey was now swearing.

"Better make it quick!" Rhodey shouted as he turned on the shower.

Tony quickly undid his belt and unzipped his pants. "Don't think that's going to be a problem," he said to himself as he swiftly dealt with his unexpected, but hardly disagreeable, problem.

At least he wasn't bored anymore.