-1Here's the outcome of a song in my head and the Outsiders at 12:00 at night…
I don't own the song or the characters or whatever.
Mrs. Curtis held her youngest son Ponyboy, not yet six, as he cried into her shoulder.
"I don't want to go back to school tomorrow!" he wailed, "It's scary and I miss you too much!"
"Oh, Ponyboy." Mrs. Curtis wiped the tears from his eyes. "I know it's scary. But did you think everything in life would be so easy?"
He sniffed.
"Sometimes, it may seem like you're all by yourself, but know I'll always be right here." she poked him lightly in the chest, just over his heart.
He giggled slightly, but the tears still fell. "B-but, what if I need you?"
"There's plenty of people to help you along the way! Besides, you don't want your crazy mommy holding you back from your own adventures, now, do you?"
You got to leave me now
You got to go alone
You got to chase a dream
One that's all your own
Before it slips away
"What kind of adventures, Mommy?"
"Just being alive is an adventure in itself. Every day was an adventure!"
"I know today definitely was." Pony grumbled unhappily.
"But," she went on, a serious look in her eye, "It's what you do with your life that's the real adventure."
"Will my adventure be really super big?!" Pony asked, splaying his arms out wide and toppling over backward onto the bed.
Mrs. Curtis laughed, scooping him back up into a tight hug. "Of course! And no matter how far away I may seem, I'll always be here when you need me."
When you're flying high
Take my heart along
I'll be the harmony
To every lonely song
That you will learn to play
"But what if I try too hard and I mess up?" He was getting tearful again. "What if I don't do things right and I… I --"
"Shh…" She squeezed him tight, running her fingers through his dark hair. "You won't mess up, Ponyboy. You're going to be great."
"B-but, what if I do?"
She sighed. "If -- if -- you do mess up, if you fall down and hurt yourself, you can always come back to me. I'll be waiting for you with open arms."
When you're soaring through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
Years later, Mrs. Curtis sat alone in the living room, swaying back and forth in her rocking chair. She hoped Ponyboy was alright. It was just a little fishing trip, some bonding time with his father and brothers, but the boys could get awfully rowdy and anything could go wrong.
I keep looking up
Awaiting your return
My greatest fear will be
That you will crash and burn
And I won't feel your fire
She suddenly remembered those many late nights spent trying to calm her youngest down enough to get him to sleep.
"What if I'm too far away for you to help me?"
"No such thing," she assured him, "No distance is too great for me. I'll always be here for you."
I'll be the other hand
That always holds a line
Connecting in between
Your sweet heart and mine
I'm strung out all that while
"What is you're too busy?"
"Too busy?! Do you think anything is more important to me than you and your brothers?"
"So… it doesn't matter what happens, you'll always be there for Darry and Sodapop and me?"
"Absolutely."
And I'll be on the other end
To hear you when you call
Angel, you were born to fly
And if you get too high
I'll catch you when you fall
"When do I get started on my adventures?" Ponyboy asked eagerly.
Mrs. Curtis smiled. "Whenever you're ready. And it will be great."
He smiled too, then it faded. "What if I get scared?"
"Then you can always turn around and come back to me. I'll be waiting for you."
"Really?"
"Really."
Your memory is the sunshine
Every new day brings
I know the sky is calling
Angel, let me help you with your wings
Those nights were so long ago now, Pony often wondered if they were just wistful dreams. But it was night like these that made him wish he could go back to them, just to be with his mother again. To b back in her arms, listening to her voice, saying everything would be okay.
But what had all her reassurances come to? "I'll always be there… no distance is to great for me…"
And yet, here he was, curled up in a bed in a rundown house with no mother to cling to, no mother to turn back to, no mother to make him forget his mistakes with her smile. He had to go through the rest of his adventures on his own, now that she was dead. After everything she had told him, she still couldn't help him in the end.
Ponyboy gritted his teeth against the tears stinging behind his eyes. Greasers don't cry, he told himself.
But he thought about his parents' funeral, about that night in the park and Windrixville and the rumble and Johnny…
This wasn't the adventure she had been talking about.
The tears fell freely now, and he found his trembling lips forming the last words of the lullaby his mother sang to him on nights just like this:
When you're soaring through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down
