Ted Mosby ran a hand through his tousled brown haircut that his good friend Barney called "lesbian", looking up at the Boston cityscape, envisioning his own masterpiece rising above them all. He stepped out of the yellow cab onto the curb by the Tipton Hotel, the jewel of Boston, MA. The Tipton Hotel had long fascinated Ted Mosby, ever since his first stay as a naïve 13 year old from Ohio. The big city! The bright lights! The excitement had almost been too much to bear the night before his drive to the city; young Teddy had barely slept, and he walked with the same spring in his step as that day so many years ago now, as an adult. Visiting the Tipton now was more rewarding than his first visit because now, as an architect, he was able to appreciate all of the fine details of the building's exterior. He knew the building very well, in fact, he was teaching an entire class about the Tipton Hotel's history and layout. As a treat to himself, every year since he moved to New York City after attending Wesleyan University, Ted stayed exactly one night at the Tipton and lived in luxury, forgetting the outside world. Something was different about this visit, however. This was his very first visit without a female companion, but he was excited to escape the stress of the dating shark tank that is NYC and have some time to read his favorite book in the world, "Love in the Time of Cholera". Ted placed one foot into the perfectly manicured, creamy wooden floors of the hotel lobby and took a sigh of relief; he was home.
"Ah yes, Mr. Wahlberg, The Tipton Hotel is the pinnacle of luxury lodging… and absolute discretion", Mr. Moseby dropped his voice to a whisper, acknowledging the six hookers that Mark Wahlberg was toting along. "Have a good evening… Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch." He added under his breath, chuckling loudly as Mark Wahlberg and his entourage strutted away to their suite. "Get it, Esteban! Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch!" Mr. Moseby was a particular man, and he liked his lobby to be maintained in particular order. Before Mr. Moseby could even take a second to appreciate his perfectly clean and orderly lobby before two blonde streaks tore by the candy counter and out the front door. Mr. Moseby let out a guttural scream and clutched his head.
"Excuse me, are you okay?" Ted asked worriedly as he approached the front desk. Mr. Moseby smoothed his clean, starched shirt and took a deep, steadying breath. "Yes, Mister…"
"Oh, Mosby. The name's Mosby." Ted said with a flourish.
Mr. Moseby stopped and stared at this kind, considerate stranger with a book in hand that just happened to share his name. "What are the odds?" Mr. Moseby mused, "A handsome, obviously intellectually stimulating young man comes into my chaotic lobby and automatically, all seems calm. And, he has my last name!" Mr. Moseby drew his thoughts back to the matter at hand and smiled warmly at the attractive stranger. "How delightful! That's also my last name! Mr. Moseby at your service, but you may call me Marion" he said, reaching out a hand and grinning a toothy smile.
"Hello Marion, you're my favorite berry. My name is Ted, it's great to meet you. I would like to check in, please."
Mr. Moseby quickly scanned his computer screen for Ted's reservation and looked up suddenly. "Mr. Mosby! I see that we have you booked for room 307B… Well that just won't do! A gentleman like you needs something more luxurious. How about… the Imperial Suite?"
"Oh, Marion, that's incredibly kind," Ted stammered, thinking about his bank account being whittled down to nothing. "But I'm afraid I don't have the sufficient funds to-"
Mr. Moseby cut Ted off, "Of course, it will be complimentary." He said with a wink and another toothy smile. "Our files are saying that you've come to the Tipton every year for 7 years! Let's just call it a buy 7 get one upgrade free. You deserve it, Ted!"
Ted, slightly mollified, started towards his small suitcase when an eager bellhop grabbed it and began walking swiftly ahead of him to the elevator. "This way, Mr. Mosby!" the bellhop said in slightly accented English. "My name is Esteban, and I'm one of the staff here at the Tipton to make your stay an enjoyable one.
Marion Moseby watched Esteban and the dark haired guest disappear into the elevator, and felt something deep in the recesses of his soul that he hadn't felt since a summer 20 years ago in Barbados. Once again, it was the wave crashing, chandelier shattering, triumphant twang of bedsprings and dying violin feeling of true-no-shit L-O-V-E.
Miles away, Barney Stinson had a plan already in the works to ruin Ted's peaceful night; "STRIPPERS! SUITS! VEGAS! MARKY MARK AND THE FUNKY BUNCH!" Barney's mind was running at a million miles an hour, and there was no way he would take no for an answer. Ted had always been too boring; according to Barney, being boring was the quickest way to an early death. "A weekend of parties and Asian gambling sure will perk Ted up, and have him back on his feet after that rough breakup with Stella," continued Barney's inner monologue. "NEW IS ALWAYS BETTER!" He yelled as he stepped into a cab headed for the airport.
Ted finally had some time to himself, and "Love in the Time of Cholera" awaited. With his feet up on a plush ottoman, and a perfect view of the cotton candy snow falling on Boston, he delved into the story, holding his breath at the suspenseful parts and even shedding a few tears at the emotionally difficult parts. After drying his eyes, Ted stretched his aching joints and realized that it had been exactly a year since he'd enjoyed a bath in a Tipton tub. He slipped off his plaid pajama pants and went to the huge bathroom that accompanied the Presidential suite. "This really is a 'suite' life" he said aloud to himself, appreciating his own pun. The tub took a long time to fill up, probably because it was the size of a small swimming pool. Ted slipped in the tub and felt all of his muscles relax. Mr. Moseby was right. He deserved this. Interrupting his soapy reverie, a knock sounded at the door. "Come in! I'm in the tub." Ted shouted towards the general direction of the front door. Mr. Moseby peaked his head into the bathroom, with his eyes shut tightly.
"Hello Mr. Mosby, I'm sorry to interrupt your relaxation time, but I know you love architecture, and I was wondering if you'd like to take a tour of the hotel? I also brought some complimentary brownie bites." Mr. Moseby added, holding up a small box tied with a big blue ribbon. Ted scrambled out of the tub, and put on a large fluffy Tipton bathrobe. "Yes! I'd love you! You can leave the brownie bites in here, I'll eat them later. Thank you so much"
"Okay! Do you want to get dressed… or are you going like that?" Marion Moseby nervously asked, not wanting to offend Ted. Ted looked down at his outfit, shrugged, and said, "Why not? And, on second thought… bring the brownie bites."
