Addiction
I wanna be drunk when I wake up
On the right side of the wrong bed
And never an excuse I made up
Tell you the truth I hate
What didn't kill me
It never made me stronger at all.
Love will scar your make-up lip sticks to me
So now I maybe lean back there
I'm sat here wishing I was sober
I know I'll never hold you like I used to.
XxX
Casey let the alcohol fill her. Too many expectations to fill, too many people waiting for her to fail. She wanted to scream. She wanted so desperately to give up. But she couldn't. She couldn't just give up. She made a promise to her mom, her sister, and her friends. She couldn't give up now. Not when she has gone so far. But it's so hard… If her mother could see her perfect little princess now. Casey knew she was far from it. But Alex gave up trying to make her mother proud, and their mom needed a reason to wake up in the morning. But it was getting too hard. Facing the world on her own. But she wasn't alone. No, she had Alex, Jeremy, Katie and even eight year old Jasmine. But Casey has never felt so alone. For the first time in her entire life, Casey realized how people can leave without a trace. How people could stop caring the next day. She couldn't do all of this alone. She needed help, or someone who had hope in her. But he was gone. Long gone…
Casey felt the hot tears stream down her cheek. All this pain. All this crying. All for a boy who gave up on her… She took another swing, feeling the liquor burn down her throat. This was what needed. Granted, the consequences she'll face in the morning. The even worse consequences she'll face if her mother ever found out about her 'perfect little angels' drinking addiction. For the time being, Casey didn't care. The only thing that mattered to this twelve year old was that if she was going to face this world, she'll be doing it with the alcohol in her hand. She wasn't going to let anyone let her down again. Not like Jessie Master.
XxX
The first think Casey noticed when she woke up was that she was in a bed. The next thing she noticed was the wrenching pain in her head. As she slowly opened her eyes, she was greeted with the reason why she drank herself to sleep that night. Casey sat up giving the boy in front of her a questioning look. He said nothing, but handed her a glass of whiter and two advil tablets. Casey took them, gratefully and felt the medicine slowly cure her hangover.
"What were you thinking?" He asked her.
"All of a sudden, you care?" Casey responded quite cold.
"Casey-"
"Don't pretend like you care, Jessie. I don't want your pity"
"Casey, when i found you, you were knocked out cold, surrounded by beer. I don't even what to know how you got it, but you're twelve. You're too young to be doing this kind of stuff. But i know you. And there's a reason for everything you do. So please tell me"
"You're right, there was a reason. My reason was that after five years of being best friends, you decide to ditch me and hang out with the 'Populars' without even sending me a second glance."
"Casey-"
"You promised me, Jessie. You promised me you would never leave me behind. You lied."
"Casey, that's not true. You'll always be my best friend. I'll always be here for you."
"Your words mean nothing to me anymore."
"Casey, listen to my words. You will never be alone. Not while i'm alive. I found you. i helped you. and i'm gonna get you through this"
"Jessie-"
"Casey, do you trust me?"
Casey nodded, realizing what she had done a second later.
"Then believe me when i say i'll fix you"
"I'm beyond broken, Jessie"
"That's not true. You're still my best friend, you may not be whole, but you're fixable."
"How? How exactly do you plan on fixing me?"
"It's all one step at a time"
"How do i know you won't give up on me again?"
"Who said i gave up on you the first time?"
"Actions speak louder than words"
"Tell me, what did your actions say? You got drunk. At twelve years old, you got drunk!"
"Alcohol will always be there for me. You weren't. You weren't there!"
"Listen to me. Alcohol is a drink. I'm a person. It's not gonna be there for you. this is an addiction. it won't be there for you; you'll be there for it. Casey, I'm here. You and me against the world, right?"
"Right" Casey nodded.
XxX
Should I, should I?
Maybe I'll get drunk again
I'll be drunk again
I'll be drunk again
To feel a little love.
All by myself
I'm here again
All by myself
You know I'll never change
All by myself
All by myself
I'm just drunk again
I'll be drunk again
I'll be drunk again
To feel a little love.
XxX
A/N: All on Casey's addiction and how Jessie impacted her life at such a young age.
-DeanDean
Song: Drunk by Ed Sheeran
