A Harsh Sentence
I tried unsuccessfully to ignore the handcuffs around my wrists. I honestly didn't know which was worse, the idea of going to jail or the humiliation of knowing my friends would see it all over the evening news.
"As this is his first offense," one of the police officers was telling my mother, "we can let him off with a stern warning."
"Oh, thank you, ma'am!" my mother replied. "I assure you he will face consequences for his actions, and he will never do anything like this again!"
To my relief, the handcuffs were unlocked. The police had a few words for me, but that was nothing compared to the sermon I got as soon as I got back home.
"You almost went to jail!" Mother scolded. "You want to know what life's like in prison, do you? Fine with me! You will stay in your room unless I say you may come out! You will not have the chance to visit with your friends! You will be escorted everywhere you go!"
I ignored her speech. She was mad, but she wasn't unreasonable. Surely she didn't mean half of what she was saying.
When I woke up the next day, I went downstairs to watch the Saturday morning cartoons.
"No, you don't!" Mother turned off the TV. "Back to your room!"
"Isn't this kind of harsh?" I asked.
"You haven't seen 'harsh' yet!"
I had to stay in my room for the rest of the day. When Mother brought me meals, they were tasteless and bland, not at all like what she usually cooks.
"Consider this prison food," she remarked.
I've been grounded before, but this was overkill. You can't confine someone to their room all day and bring them disgusting food. That's definitely over the line. It isn't right at all. Besides, I didn't deserve this!
At the end of the day, Mother had an announcement. "I think it would be a positive experience for you to find another outlet and make friends that aren't in the process of building their criminal records, so I have decided to let you participate in community theater! They're having children and young adults audition for a coming performance!"
"No thanks," I answered.
"Too bad!"
Two hours later, I was taken to a theater. A lizard met me at the door.
"Are you here for the audition?" she asked sweetly.
"Against my will!" I replied.
"Yes, he's here to audition," my mother responded, "and he's not going to give you any trouble, and he would be thrilled to be a part of this coming production!" She glared at me. "Right?!"
"Yeah," I muttered.
I sat in one of the seats in the auditorium. A rat was onstage.
"Go up there so I can hear you two read the script together," the lizard instructed.
I was handed a script as I stood beside the rat.
"Take it from the top!"
"'For years, that insufferable pipsqueak has interfered with my plans!'" the rat read from his script, "'I haven't had a moment's peace of mind! But all that's in the past! This time, nothing, not even Basil can stand in my way! All will bow before me!'"
"Basil?!" I exclaimed. "This is about him?!" I threw down my script in disgust. "Not that idiot! It's all I ever hear the Ancients talk about! Basil did this! Basil used to do that! Who gives a rat's ears about Basil of Baker Street?! The guy died decades before any of us were born! It's not like anything he did is important in modern society! He never influenced my personal life!"
"I beg your pardon," the rat whispered. "Did you just say, 'Who gives a rat's ears'? I don't know if you're aware of this, and I hate to nitpick, but that expression's kind of hurtful, and…"
The lizard, who I assumed was the director, rose from her seat and applauded.
"Young man, that was very emotionally egocentric, and until your display of temper, you acted as if you couldn't care less about what was happening," she stated. "I believe you'll be perfect for the role!"
"Joy!" I exclaimed sarcastically.
"You get to be the main character!" She turned to the rat. "I noticed the way you took it when he used the rat expression. I like the way you two interact, the apparent anger you unintentionally cause in each other. You get to be the professor." She cleared her throat. "But I expect personal differences and disagreements to be set aside for the sake of the performance! You must learn to respect each other in a professional manner, even if you have no time for each other on a personal note."
"Yes, ma'am," the rat answered.
"Yeah, sure," I muttered.
