Unraveling a mystery

Several fics have depicted Andrea as being the more jealous of the Raydor/Hobbs pairing but never explained why. This is my simple attempt at shedding some light on that facet of the blonde's personality. For this fic Sharon's maiden name is Pierson since I don't recall it if it was given.

I'd known for some time that my partner could be a bit possessive and even a little prone to jealousy but I always treated it as another quirk to tease her about. Once we went dancing and whenever someone approached me to inquire about partnering she firmly placed her arms around my waist and eyeballed the person until they scampered away. "You know you're pretty territorial" I said but then she responded with "So says the person that put at least three bite marks on me last I checked."

With my hands on my hips I asked "Is that a problem? They are all in discrete locations" getting a bit upset with her seeming complaint.

"None at all. Just don't question my methods and I won't question yours."

I never really considered the deeper reason for her angst especially since it seemingly went against everything I had come to learn about Andrea. My lover is the quintessential Californian complete with surfing board and PETA membership. She might be the best DDA that LA ever had charged with arguing some of the most heinously obscene cases ever prosecuted but I have yet to witness her either scream or get near to losing her cool whether inside the courtroom or out. If it were not for her status as an officer of the court I could imagine her spending her days chasing waves and her nights lighting up at bonfires like so many other aging citizens of the state. Andrea Hobbs is unflappable. So for her to show the least amount of aggression is extremely uncharacteristic but I never questioned it because it was just one of those things that you learn to deal with when you fall in love. That is until it happened. And then everything changed.

We were walking through the DA's office at the Christmas party trying our best to avoid uncomfortable situations with her drunken colleagues and the ungodly amount of strategically scatted mistletoes. A room full of intoxicated highly stressed type A personalities looking to cutthroat up the career ladder isn't the most festive environment especially if you're a supervisor not looking to document the blatant sexual harassment violations that office parties invite. So as I said we were doing our best to be appropriately social but completely unengaged when a vaguely familiar brunette waved at me.

"Shar? Sharon Pierson?"

"Yes that's me. I'm sorry I don't recall your name." I said looking both at the woman and Andrea hoping that she would remember her if since I couldn't.

"I'm not surprised it's been forever. I could tell it was you because you haven't changed at all since Stanford. You have to give me your doctor's name" the other woman laughed as she leaned forward with her hand.

The hair was different and the nose looked a little smaller but that laugh I could place even if I were blind drunk which is when I heard it the most forty years ago. "Vanessa?" Instead of taking her offered hand I pulled her into a tight hug which I think shocked Andrea more than anyone. I am not one to overly emote is the nicest way I've ever heard it put. I've known coworkers for more than twenty years and have yet to call them by the first name so my hugging anyone probably made Andrea think I was well past drunk. "Oh my God Nessa it's been forever."

"I don't think I want to even consider how long it's been" she added looking at the blonde hovering at her shoulder.

"I'm sorry Vanessa…"

"Colton"

"Vanessa Colton this is my girlfriend Andrea Hobbs one of the DDA's of LA. Andrea this is one of my best friends from law school."

"I have to meet someone who can call Captain Sharon Raydor "Shar" and live to tell about it" Andrea teased as she smiled at me and took Vanessa's hand.

"One of the privileges of old friendships"

"And drunken college days"

With her trademark smirk Andrea leaned into Vanessa and mock whispered "Now I definitely want to hear all the stories" before someone tapped on her shoulder.

"Sorry to interrupt DDA Hobbs but the DA wants to see all of his deputies for a few minutes."

"Sorry ladies but don't think I won't remember to ask when I get back" Andrea said as she faded into the background leaving both Vanessa and I to look at each other in wonder. In that instant we were both back in college with the entire world and all its options and opportunities before us. Forty years could not have passed that fast. She told me about her life in Denver, three marriages, the horrible divorces, and moving back to LA as the new liaison for the mayor at the community improvement board. She was at the party in support of a cousin going through his own break up. And I was obliged to share my travesty of a marriage with Jackson and my long career with the police department. "I would have never pictured you as a cop but you always did love rules especially during drinking games."

My old friend and her cousin were gone by the time Andrea returned. "Would you mind if we left?"

"I think that's best because I just saw someone walking around with a sprig of mistletoe attached to his pants."

We were both silent on the ride back to my condo as random thoughts bounced through our minds. As I was reaching to take off her coat and hang it next to my own she grabbed my hand and pulled me tightly towards her. Before I could say anything she was pressing a heavy box into my hand. Where she'd hidden it I don't know. I almost dropped it because the weight so unexpected but as I tried to look down she held my hand tighter and spoke softly into my ear. "DA Thomas gathered the four DDAs and gave us a parting gift as he announced his retirement."

"I didn't know he was leaving."

"Neither did we. But he gave each of us something to represent all of the hard work we've done for him and the city and I wanted to give mine to you."

"Andrea you shouldn't"

"No I should. I wouldn't have gotten this far without you especially now that I'm transitioning into this new position. I've been with people who didn't understand why I had to work such long hours. Or they didn't understand why I didn't at least get a job that made more money. Or why couldn't I be like the rest of the people working in the DA's office and use the position to get into politics. Not one understood my commitment and dedication but you. Knowing that I always had your support and love was all the difference." As I've said before I am not an emotional person but as Andrea stared into my eyes opening her heart I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I didn't even try. It could have been a block of concrete and it would have been the most precious thing I had ever received from anyone other than my children (obviously to include Rusty) and it was the last thing on my mind until the next morning.

A few weeks after the New Year I was standing in the middle of major crimes trying to decipher both Buzz's technical jargon and Lt Provenza's grumblings. A headache was steadily moving up my neck when a flash of blonde hair moved into my periphery and stopped just outside the department door. "I'm here to rescue you."

"Yes please" I whine as both Buzz and Provenza shot me sharp looks that insisted their needs should be the obvious priority.

"Well at least for lunch but after that you're on your own."

Shaking my head I sadly remembered one more obligation on my ever growing plate. "I'm sorry I have a meeting with Taylor about what I don't know but I'm sure it will take no less than an hour and a half."

"If you're lucky" Provenza shot back as he moved towards his desk.

Sticking out her lower lip and batting her eyes Andrea "I guess I'll do lunch with my team then" grumbled trying to make me feel worse than I already did.

"If you want to trade places than I'm all for it" I said as I returned to the conversations as Andrea went back down the hallway. It wasn't much later when Taylor announced a more important meeting than his with mine. When Vanessa knocked on my door saying "I'm impressed Captain Raydor. I couldn't picture you as a cop but the place looks like it suits you."

"I'll keep it until something better come up." She was coming from a meeting with the commissioner and was hoping to spend some time with a familiar face after so many years away from California. As I was suddenly free I took her to one of my favorite spots close by. It had been a very long time that I was just Sharon or "Shar". Almost everyone I came into contact was somehow related to my profession. They knew me as either the unbending IA investigator or the hard ass head of major crimes. It felt good to be silly and laugh without wondering how it might be used against me later. We were snarking over a mutual frienemy when Andrea stood at our table.

"I thought you had a meeting with Taylor?" Andrea questioned after she said hello to Vanessa and leaned over to kiss my cheek.

"Right after you left he cancelled and I figured you had already committed to your team."

Smiling Andrea said "Yeah I did but I'd much rather have spent the time with you two laughing than going over evidence" then ate my discarded roll.

"Well I'm glad because I wouldn't have remembered what a bitch Ann is and would have accepted her invitation to spend the weekend."

Laughing I discretely motioned to the waiter "That calls for a drink" I could see the confusion on my lover's face and knew that Andrea was wondering about the drastic change in my behavior but I didn't acknowledge it and just wanted to enjoy the carefree moment.

Andrea again kissed my cheek and said her goodbyes but not before Vanessa complimented her on the beautiful handcrafted statue currently on my desk. "My cousin told me how proud all the DDA's are of their Alexander Kalifano world globes and Sharon told me you gave yours to her. It's beautiful."

At that moment the questioning glances that Andrea threw me went away and pure pride and confidence took their place. Andrea is hands down the best lawyer I have ever encountered and she has much to be proud of and the fact that she shared her achievements with me was a blessing. "I wasn't expecting it but I am very proud that he counted me as an asset." All too soon the hour was over and Andrea returned to her team and Vanessa and I to our respective offices.

Another month or so passed and I was trying my best to convince Andrea to let me out of her bed for a run but it was hard going. "I can't believe that you're leaving me on my birthday. It's supposed to be my day and you're leaving me all alone" she pouted with sleep still in her eyes.

Speaking in the low smoky voice that I knew she loved as I kissed her neck "Baby I am going to be gone less than an hour and will be right here for the rest of the weekend but I need to get a run in. I've been neglecting exercising for a while."

"Well if you just want to get your heart rate up…" Andrea moaned as she tried to pull me towards the bed before I recognized her intention.

"And I look forward to doing that as well but for now why don't you go to sleep and I will be back before you know it." I tried again but the frown was not budging until I thought up the perfect defense. "You could always come with me? You said that we need to do more things together" knowing full well that Andrea would rather walk on hot coals.

"I do yoga and swim. I have no intention of running around in the sun and humidity killing myself." Is the excuse that she gave me when I first suggested we take running up as a couple's activity. This time she just rolled her eyes and turned over pulling the blanket up to her chin.

I was using a bench to stretch my calves when I heard a whistle which I ignored followed by a slap on the ass which I pulled out my service weapon to address. As I turned Vanessa held up her hands and laughed. We were both on the track team in high school and college. I hadn't had a true running partner since Jackson and I started dating. At one time he would do anything to please me but that went away shortly after the wedding vows. Rusty was too embarrassed to be seen running especially with me and Andrea was okay for maybe a mile but two at the most. I tried to force her to run three when she suddenly stopped and took the first city bus passing so seeing Vanessa looking eager to get a run in was exciting. The pleasure and challenge of pushing myself to run hard wasn't something I'd had in a long while. "Are you just going to sit there wasting time stretching or do you want to break a sweat?" We took turns lapping each other and by the time we stopped we were both close to keeling over but happier than ever. Every week we would make a point of getting together and we even vaguely toyed with training for a half marathon.

When I slowly ambled back to Andrea's apartment I expected to find my lover exactly where I left her but she was sitting at her breakfast bar in heavy concentration with her head in both hands. There were eggs, bacon, toast, and juice on the table but Andrea was not looking well. I caught tell-tale signs of tears on her face and walked up to stroke her blank face.

"Baby what's wrong?"

Instead of answering she pulled back and wiped her face with her hands and stood up to gather the dishes and cutlery. "Where were you? You're usually gone maybe thirty minutes you were gone for almost two hours."

"Why were you crying?" I asked as I followed her towards the cabinets.

"So? What were you doing?" She repeated again and again I ignored her question and asked my own ignored request when she slapped away my hands.

"What the hell is going on?!" I don't like feeling out of control and seeing my girlfriend crying on what should have been a happy occasion was really pissing me off.

"Yeah why don't you give an answer to that because I'd really like to know myself." It was like I was speaking Chinese and she was speaking Bantu. I was confused as hell which did not improve my mood.

"I'm not in the mood for games Hobbs."

Deciding that evading hadn't helped Andrea decided to go straight at the point of her inquiry. "Are you sleeping with her? Are you in love with her?"

I actually looked up and shook my head just in case I was having some sort of hallucination. "What in the world are you talking about?"

"I saw you. You left my bed because you said you wanted to run but when I went to surprise you on your run you weren't there. So I drove around to find you but you were with her. So I'm asking again are you seeing her? Are you two in love or trying to rekindle something?"

There were two choices at that moment. I could become upset and indignant or I could try and understand what was really happening. By nature and profession I am a detective and I had to understand what was troubling my girlfriend to the point that she was asking if I was cheating on her. Something she should know without a doubt I would never ever do to anyone under any circumstances. After taking a few deep breathes and withdrawing all the heat and anger out of my voice I turned to answer Andrea's questions. "I was stretching getting ready to run and she was already at the park. We used to run together at school. I haven't had a running partner in a long time so I guess we lost track of time. We started making plans to run each week and maybe try a half marathon in a few months." I didn't know if Andrea was calm enough to even listen to what I said much less believe me but I wasn't going to add fuel to this argument.

After a few seconds she sat on the floor in front of the fridge and leaned her head against it as she steadied her breathing. I almost started talking again when she closed her eyes and bowed her head and whispered her story to me.

"You know that I was once with a woman for twelve years before we broke up right?" She asked inclining her head towards me still with her eyes closed.

"Yes"

Nodding she slowly continued. "I loved her more than life itself. I fully expected to spend the rest of my life with Beth. I never contemplated life without her." That hurt. I knew that Andrea had a life before me. Hell I was still married but it hurt like fuck knowing that she would have been happier never loving me but I kept my anguish to myself and listened.

"You also know that I used to work at a private practice and did some pro bono work at a church right?" Again another agreement by me.

"Well I was working at the church one day when my best friend from college came in. She was the lawyer I was training to take my place. Sarah was my best friend in the entire world. She and Beth became good friends as well. I had my girl and my best friend. I didn't even know it was possible to be that happy." Andrea confided as she looked up with tears in her eyes. In that moment I hated them. I didn't even know what happened or even if they did anything but I hated anyone that could cause my lover a pain that was still visible so many years later.

"We were together all the time the three of us. Beth was a nurse and Sarah and I were both private attorneys so we always had crazy schedules. There were times when I couldn't make dates because of whatever and I never even thought to hold them back. Cause they were my best friends right? They both loved me as much as I loved them right?" If they had magically appeared I would have gladly bean bagged them both in the face.

"My other friends always joked I was unwittingly making a manage e trois but didn't listen because I couldn't image people I loved so much hurting me so bad. One day they went to a show but I got called in. I left a paper at home. I walked in and I saw them. On the floor." No a bean bag was too good for them.

"I just stood there in shock. I couldn't even speak. I left without them even noticing I was there. I didn't say anything for two days when we had dinner together at a restaurant. I asked them how could they hurt me like that?" Finally she got up to pour two glasses from the yesterday's wine. "With tears in their eyes they said they were sorry but didn't know how to tell me the truth. They dated each other in high school and didn't think it important to tell me. Feelings came back and you know the rest."

"Jack slept with every lawyer, client, secretary he could. I used to think it was because I wasn't doing something right or not enough. Finally it didn't matter and I just left." I took her in my arms then and held her as close as I could while still looking in her eyes. "I would never do that to you. I would never hurt you like that. If I could I would rip both those bitches a new ass hole for hurting you like that." We held each other a long time after that.

Now I know why she gets jealous and she also know why she doesn't have to let that fear take hold. So she holds on too tight sometimes and glares and I leave bite marks between her breast and on her hips.