Sitting here and wondering when things are going to get better for me. I never really had anyone to love me or care for me or just be there for me. My whole life has been nothing but just torture and pain. I am sitting here on the floor with my face busted and literally just crying my eyes out. Here's my story. My name is Alyssa and I am 27 years old. I have long black hair and big green eyes. Through school I was called an alien and then it went from alien to monster, to seahorse, to all kinds of animals I for the longest thought I was an Animal kingdom. I was born in Italy then after my parents both died came here to the United States/Florida to live with some family. I have a boyfriend who is the reason why I am sitting here on the floor bleeding crying my eyes out. When I first came to the states he was the first guy that paid me any attention and so later on became my first boyfriend and boy do I regret it every day of my life. He has done absolutely nothing but cause me pain. I was going to go to finish college and become a nurse but that changed when I met him since he wanted me to always be with him and do what he wanted me to do. He makes me work as a waitress at this bar called "THEHOTSPOT" you probably are thinking what is my job title? Well, I am a dancer/singer/waitress/janitor anything that makes money. You would think with all the money I make I'd have a fancy house and a wonderful life but I don't because every bit of money I make he takes away from me. His name is Aldan he is from Armenia and he is a total control freak. For the longest I thought that it was normal for a man to treat a woman like dirt and then after I would see my other girlfriends be all happy and in love with their men I knew that this was not right and that no human being deserves to be treated like this. So the reason I was beaten up today is because, I was in front of this gym and saw a sign that said hiring janitors so they have called me in for an interview and hired me and let's just say that my boyfriend is furious with me. He says that I went behind his back and only applied because, I wanted to attract another man but, that is not the reason all I want to do is make some extra money for myself because, I am sick and tired of walking everyday instead of driving. I am tired of not eating and starving and looking like a thirteen year old boy, I am tired of all my ripped jeans and tank tops. I want to buy clothes and look more like a grown woman then a toddler.
Kim: Alyssa oh my god! Alyssa where are you?
(Kim is my best friend… well, probably the only friend I have)
Me: In here…
Kim: Oh my God girl what happened to you?
Me: Nothing I just fell
Kim: Don't give me that shit! He did this to you again?
Me: yes, no… I mean he is just mad.
Kim: Girl, I don't want to hear that from you I heard that too many times before enough is enough! Let's get you off the floor and cleaned up can you get up?
Me: Yes, just give me a second *argh*
Kim: This is crazy Alyssa why are you taking this from him this is not normal you are too over worked and, exhausted and, now you look like a hot mess how much longer are you going to take. You have been covering your face up with make up so much that it won't even work anymore you have got to get away from this monster you just have to.
Me: Okay, okay!
Kim: I am serious you always say that and you never leave you have to get better he is going to kill you like this.
Me: He is not going to kill me!
Kim: Not intentionally but when he gets out of control like this you never know I mean you know I am right. Alright now that you are cleaned up I have something to tell you. Remember how I am obsessed with John Cena?
Me: Oh God not the wrestling stuff again my God Kim you are just too much. By the way I applied at that gym and guess what? I got the job!
Kim: *screams* NO FRIGGING WAYYYYYYYYYYY!
Me: Yes, Yes, so if I run into your little guy I will say hello for you.
Kim: He is diffidently not little he is huge and I won us some tickets to go see them live tonight and guess what? I have VIP tickets for us!
Me: I can't go if I go Aldan is going to kill me.
Kim: *sigh*you have to go please, please, please; please I mean I can't go without you. Please Alyssa please!
Me: But….
Kim: No buts, you are going and that's it go clean yourself up and I will pick you up at seven. I am so excited OMG!
As she left I looked in the mirror and saw this pale girl standing in front of it just looking confused and pale and at that moment I just wish I was gone I mean I wish I was dead I just don't see how anyone would want to be with me or love me or anything I just feel disgusting. No wonder I am with such a lousy boyfriend and have such a lousy life. I mean it's almost as if I don't even deserve better.
I just finished taking a shower and now I am standing in front of my little closet looking for something to wear tonight. I don't want to go because, I already know if my boyfriend finds out he will kill me. If it was up to him I would have no human contact whatsoever with anyone but him. What to wear? if I had to point out what's in my closet it would literally take me two minutes. I have five pairs of skinny jeans and, five pairs of tank tops and, two jackets that about sums up my wardrobe. Oh and I forgot to mention two of black boots. I never ever wear dresses other than at work. The club I work in supplies us with stuff for the night and that's it so I never have anything fancy. The only time I look somewhat sexy or fancy is if I am at work if they have some cute clothes usually I just look trashy while working but at my boyfriend say's "it pays the bills" I hate that line I feel like a cheap hooker.
Kim (knocking on door): Alyssa you ready? Can I come in?
Me: Yes, yes, come in! Wow, Kim you look so gorgeous!
Kim: Thank you my friend but you are the one who's hot!
For some reason Kim was the only girl that always thought I looked gorgeous. Even when I wear ripped pants and look a hot mess she'd always say to me "you are way to gorgeous to deal with that idiot lover of yours, you can do so much better"
I often think she is just saying that to make me feel better.
Kim: So are you ready? I am so excited I might pass out I can't help it! What am I going to say? Like what will I say to the guy I love? What will he say? What will I do?
As she continued to just go out of her mind I had to stop her and just remind her if she doesn't shut up we will be late so of she drove.
Here we are in front of this huge hotel. And as I look around everyone is dressed fancy and looks gorgeous. Every woman looked like a movie star, even the guys looked handsome. And here I am looking at my feet and thinking to myself "what the hell are you doing here?"
As we get to the front line Kim hands them our VIP passes and they tell us which way to enter. Of course Kim sees John Cena's table and runs like a maniac so of course I lose her. As I am walking by I see this dark huge guy sitting at this little table with his long almost wet looking hair and he is just smiling. For a minute I thought who in their right mind put this huge guy to sit in this tiny table and so I smiled back. So he waves and like a dumb ass I look behind myself so that I don't wave back like a jerk and sure enough as far as I can tell he was waving at me. So as I always do, I just panicked and turned away. So then all these girls just start running around me and screaming ROMANNNNNNNNNNNN! It kind of scared me for a minute I had no idea why these girls were screaming his name. I mean he is gorgeous to look at but they are wrestlers they were meant to look good. I have no idea what wrestling really is I would watch it with Kim every once in a while so she can drool over John and for the life of me I could not figure out why she thought that guys beating up one another would be that great. I guess because, I have an abuse boyfriend who beats me all the time I find wrestling no so appealing.
So here I am walking around looking at the walls I saw couple wrestlers who signed some cards for me and as I am reading the walls I notice Kim in the back taking pictures with John Cena as she would say "her MAN" I saw how happy she looked and didn't want to go and interfere. As I was walking I hear this rough voice saying "So I am assuming you don't want my autograph?"
Me: Ummm what?
So you don't want my picture?
Me: Oh hey, I didn't even see you sitting back there… I mean I saw you earlier, but I didn't… I mean what? So who are you? (Wow I just had a Kim moment…)
Hi there again my name is Joseph!
Me: Alyssa nice to meet you! But, wait I thought those girls were yelling out Roman?
Joseph: Yes that is my ring name Roman Reigns but my real name is Leati Joseph "Joe"
Me: Oh I see well I have no stage name it's just simply Alyssa… (DUHHHHHHH what a stupid thing to say)
Joseph: I like that name.
Me: Thank you.
Joseph: So umm you came here and you have no idea who I am or any of these people you looked a little confused earlier.
Me: Yea I am so sorry my friend Kim dragged me here she is the reason why I am here. She is in love or at least she thinks she is in love with John Cena I am not really a big wrestling fan…
Joseph: Oh well, I think had you seen me wrestle you would be a big fan. As for you coming out I am glad you did.
Me: Oh yeah and why is that?
Joseph: It's rare for me to run into a girl that's super gorgeous and has no idea who I am and is just not fan stuck at all.
Me: Oh yea right!
Me gorgeous? Is this guy for real? Does he think I am stupid or something like OMG he is so full of it?
Me: umm yea okay.
Joseph: What? What's wrong did I say something wrong?
Me: No It's just I hate when guys say stuff that they don't even mean just to make someone feel better it's quite stupid.
Joseph: But I said it because I mean it so it's not stupid it's the truth!
Me: Umm okay.
Joseph: Are you always this mean?
Me: I am never mean, I am just honest.
Joseph: So am I and, when I say I think you are gorgeous I mean it Okay?
Me: okay…
I just can't get over how this guy makes me feel. It's this feeling I can't describe it's like I have known him for years. I look at him and my whole body just feels weak. He is so darn adorable like that smile and that face and that hair Oh my God! I need to get away from him before I pass out and turn into those women earlier running towards him like crazy.
Me: I got to go and find Kim I have to go home.
Joseph: Home? Why so early stay a little. So are you going to give me your number?
Me: Number?
Joseph: Yes, like a phone number so I can text you sometime maybe we can go out or something.
You got to be kidding me this guy wants to go out with me? Okay someone please pinch me now or slap me so I can wake up.
Me: Sure but I have a boyfriend.
Joseph: Oh well, I don't want his number I would like yours.
Me: Okay so here it is 487.658.7849 is that even legal like are you allowed to call people you meet.
Joseph: No it's illegal to meet new people and talk to them and find them super attractive. If they found out they would diffidently fire me for it.
Me: Oh no really? Well, don't do that I mean I don't want to cause problems.
Joseph: *Laughs a big laugh* I was just kidding sweetness!
Me: Oh HA HA! Funny!
Joseph: So will you answer if I call?
Me: Maybe!
Kim screams: Alyssaaaaaaaaaaaaa! OMG OMG OMG It's Roman Reigns OMG can you sign this for me and take pictures with me I mean with us?
Joseph: *smiles* of course!
As he stands there with her he smiles and I take a picture.
Joseph: Hey Kim take a picture with me and Alie.
So I am Allie? Nobody has ever called me that since I was little and my parents used to call me that. It made me so sad I had tears in my eyes. He turned to me and goes; "are you okay?" yes, yes, I am fine. As he stood next to me I felt this tingle in my stomach he held me around my little waist and held me tight real close to his body it was so nice to feel him. At that moment for whatever reason I felt safe. I felt like nothing could hurt me anymore. He made me feel so amazing. I had a huge smile on my face I don't think I have seen myself with that big smile in ages it felt so good I didn't want to let go and for some reason it felt like he didn't want to let go neither.
Kim: You two look good together OMG this picture is super sexy!
Joseph: Let me see it?
As I looked at that picture I couldn't even recognize myself for once in my life I looked happy and it was thanks to him.
So as it was time to leave Kim ran off to say goodbye to her love John Cena. I stood there for a bit longer and I felt these huge hands from behind me that just grabbed me I knew it was Joe and as I was still in pain from the beating of my boyfriend it made me a little uneasy so he let go and looked a little concerned I told him I was fine just a little scared that's all. He looked almost sad like he had hurt me but I assured him I was fine and even though I wasn't I knew going home tonight was not going to be easy because I have to face my boyfriend. So we said our final goodbyes and Kim drove home on our way home she couldn't stop talking about all the guys she met and how great it was and she even said that Joe looks like he loves me. I of course think she is a little exaggerating as usual but it's nice to hear it. She said we looked like we are in love. I feel bad for not telling her that he took my number but I knew I will probably never hear from this guy again so I didn't want to make it a big deal.
As we made it in front of my apartment I dreaded going in knowing that Aldan is in. Sure enough I walk inside and there he is drunk yelling and throwing stuff at me calling me names and all kinds of stuff finally after an hour of abuse he fell asleep and I walked into the bathroom and just locked myself in to clean up the mess on my face. As I bend over the sink I hear my phone buzzing. I always keep my phone buzzing because if it's loud Aldan usually expects me to be cheating. Which I have never ever cheated on him as a matter of fact he is the only person I have ever been with.
Incoming text: Dear Allie,
It was my pleasure meeting you. I am sorry if I was a little rough on you when I hugged you from behind you looked a little worried and I am so sorry. I keep thinking I have hurt you somehow and it was never my intention. I had a wonderful time talking to you. I think you are a wonderful girl and I hope you can somehow come to one of my wrestling matches here's some tickets you can use whenever you want to. Maybe then you will fall in love with wrestling. I would love to hear from you sometime text me so I can make sure you made it home safe.
Love, Joe!
As I sat here and read this message over and over and over again, I just couldn't find the right words to answer him. So here it goes.
Replay message: Dear Joe,
The pleasure was all mines! I promise you haven't hurt me I was just having a moment and you startled me that's all. To be honest I didn't think you were going to text me I thought I was just another crazy fan girl. LOL! Maybe I will use these tickets sometime for sure. Like I said I have a boyfriend so going out for me would be hard. Hope to hear from you sometimes maybe someday we can grab some coffee or something together I am sure your schedule is always full. Thank you for writing me anyways.
Love, Allie.
Incoming text: Dear Allie, so you are saying you have a boyfriend but a friendly coffee was okay? You are right my schedule is a little hectic at times but I can always find some time for this beautiful girl. What are you up to right now?
As I sat here with my face bleeding and my hands all shaking reading his message made me have a little smile one my face. I keep re-reading his messages and can't stop thinking how was it that someone I just met could make me smile like this. But then reality hit's me and I realize that none of this matters because; at the end of the day I am nothing and no one just a girl with lots of problems and lot of baggage a crazy boyfriend and no life. And now I have to respond to his message asking me what I am up to? All I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out and scream out to the world that I am doing horrible but I won't do that. It's not his fault my life is a misery. So here goes my message.
Outgoing text: Dear Joe, as I am flattered that you think I am beautiful I still think you are a little hallucinating. I am not doing much right now just getting ready for sleep I have this new job to start tomorrow and I am really tired. Thank you for the lovely messages and, thank you for thinking of me. It was a pleasure meeting you! Hope you have a wonderful night and a great rest of the week.
Love, Allie
Incoming Text: Dear Allie, Pleasure was all mine! Have a great night and don't forget to think of me ;) take care, yours, Joe!
As I read the "yours Joe" part I had the biggest butterflies in my belly I can't stop but thinking why do I feel like this towards someone I have just met. I got up from the floor and started tip toeing to my bed so that my crazy boyfriend doesn't wake up. I hate the thought of having to delete all my messages because God forbid he ever finds them he will for sure kill me. So I silenced my phone and lay down still thinking about Joe seems impossible to forget him. I have been thinking about him since the second I saw him and it's just unreal so finally after some long thinking I must have just fallen asleep.
Finally I heard my alarm clock go off so I get up brush my teeth and get ready for my new job at the wrestling firm. Of course I look out of the window its poring rain and Aldan took my car well, it used to be my car I guess he decided it's his. I hate that piece of shit car to begin with it's an old 1985 honda civic gm. I bought it from some people a long time ago and of course he just took it from me so my only way of commuting is walking. I rarely ever have enough money to take the bus. So I put on some black skinny jeans and a shirt on and packed some dry clothes in my backpack just in case I need to change if I am wet. As I was walking already an hour I realized that I am super late and super wet. Cars were just swinging by and the whole rain on the side was just splashing at me. As I was already approaching the building I heard this loud car noise and SPLASH I can't see or hear anything I was pitch wet as I almost screamed I heard bunch of girls laughing hysterically at me and, then I hear this familiar voice yelling out of the car that just splashed me wet "you idiot watch where you're going next time I almost destroyed my car" and when he said that I looked hard and sure enough it was Joe yes, THE JOE that was super sweet to me last night but is cracking jokes about me today. I didn't think he has recognized me to begin with but there is no need to be that rude to people especially pedestrians.
So I moved away and ran into a bathroom dried up and ran straight to see my boss. As I got there I heard a voice saying "you are late!" I apologized and said it won't happen again. The guy looked at me and said "look like you had a hell of a day" yes, sure did I have had better ones. His name was Daniel he was going to be training me on cleaning (if you can even train someone in cleaning) I have been a maid ever since my parents died so I think I am fully qualified. As the day went on I scrubbed bathrooms, offices, and now off to the training room. As I made my way in I noticed bunch of guys and girls training. The guys just stared at me like I was from planet loser and, the girls just laughed as usual. I tried my best to ignore them as much as possible until I heard someone say "Allie?" I turned around and saw him standing there yes, I saw Joe standing right in front of me. He looked a little confused and I was in no mood to talk to him whatsoever. "Hi" and I turned around to continue cleaning. He gets in front of me and goes "Hi? That's it that's all you have to say to me?" So I look up at him and go "yea well, I didn't think you wanted to talk to the idiot who almost destroyed your car this morning…" He looked in schock you could just see his face changing colors and you can clearly see that he was horrified. "OMG Allie that was you? I am so sorry!" Never mind, just forget about it! As I started walking away from him he grabbed me by my hand and pulled me towards him. "Allie, I am so sorry I didn't know that was you I would have never said those things to you. I just nodded and walked away.
I felt him just staring at me as I walked off and it was kind of a bitter sweet moment because as much as I wanted to get away from him only that much I wanted to just be in his arms. I felt horrible and I looked horrible as well. All my scars on my face were visible as all my makeup has washed up from the rain. I had big bruises under my eyes and bruises on my arms. The bruises were so big that even my boss Daniel had asked me couple times if I was alright. I explained to him that I am a dancer and I get hurt a lot practicing new routines which were bunch of bull but being abused so long I have learned all kinds of excuses so lying about my scars was no problem.
As the day was going by I felt myself so dizzy one from not eating one from being just over worked I work two jobs and I have to deal with a moron of a boyfriend. As I scrubbed the gym area I had bunch of girls just laughing at me every step I took they had something to laugh about. I even had this girl ask me where I got my shoes from and then started laughing hysterically. Joe was standing with them when they were making fun of me and even though I have been bullied all my life it never affected me as much as it did today. It broke my heart that he just stood there and let them laugh at me. I know I shouldn't care so much but the fact that he was so super sweet to me like twenty four hours ago and now is just standing by as people are laughing at me is heartbreaking to me. I am so heartbroken right now I don't think the amount of abuse I get from Aldan is as bad as I feel right at this moment.
Finally it was five o'clock and I started packing my wet clothes up. Daniel my boss came by to tell me I did a great job and he hopes to see me tomorrow on time. So I walked out of that building and started walking home got to get ready for my other job. As I was walking I heard someone scream out of the car but I just ignored it I thought it was someone stupid again. As the car got closer I noticed the sports car from this morning and Joe was in it. I just kept walking. He opened his window "Allie, can I give you a ride?' No, thank I am fine! "Allie please? Look will you just stop walking for a moment?
So I stopped and looked at him and I guess I just went off…"Why are you following me, what now you want to talk to me when there's no one that can see you? Am I that horrible to look at now? Is it bad news to know someone who's a fucking janitor and doesn't have a car? Are you that embarrassed by me that you can't talk to me when your fancy friends are around? You know what? I can't even look at you right now I can't without being hurt or just humiliated please leave me alone. As I just pored my heart out I felt this huge tear just coming out of my eyes. I hate crying in front of people I really do. I try to hide it so much that sometimes they just come out of nowhere and right now I was just hurt so hurt by this person who made me feel so wonderful last night but made me feel like shit today. I have no strength left and I just want to get away from him.
As my tears just rolled down my bruised face I saw him get out of his car right in front of me. I was kind of afraid what he was going to do but he grabbed me and just held me in his arms for a good ten minutes with soft whisper in my ears he said I am so sorry Allie. He kept saying it and the more he said it the more I just cried and cried I have no idea what has gotten over me I never cry this much I just couldn't stop. He grabbed my face and looked me right in the eyes and said Allie, I am so sorry it's going to be okay please, don't cry please! As I looked him in the eyes I shook my head and started to calm down some. He didn't let me go yet he kept holding me. His arms were so big and firm and they just kept my cold, wet body warm. I couldn't help but feel some confort in his arms I felt safe in them just like the first night when he held me for about a second I felt safe it feels good to be in his arms I felt like I never wanted to let go of him. Finally he let go and said "better now" I looked at him and said yes. "Allie, let me take you home"
Me: No, you can't thank you though.
Joe: why not?
Me: because, my boyfriend might be home and he is not going to be happy about that
Joe: Is your boyfriend the reason why you look like Zorro chopped you up?
Me: what no! No I fall all the time
Joe: Allie, don't give me that shit I want to know if your boyfriend is doing this to you because, if that's the case I will kill him myself.
As sexy as that sounded I would never want him near my crazy boyfriend. My boyfriend and his friends would mess him up and he does not need that kind of drama in his life.
Me: No Joe just let it go. I just need to go home let me go please?
Joe: No I won't I am taking you home and that's that.
Me: Fine.
Joe: Alright get in or do I have to put your tiny ass in there myself? By the way did you eat today?
Me: No I did not I was not hungry.
Joe: what do you mean you weren't hungry so you had no food whatsoever?
Me: That is what I just said I was not hungry.
Joe: Okay smart ass, I am going to grab you some food first.
Me: No Joe, I really got to get home I have to get ready for my other job and, I can't be late please just take me home please!
As I said that he just pulled up close to my neighborhood and looked at me for a moment as if he was so mad but then at the same time he looked like he was hurt so me as usual all worried are you alright, did I say something, I am sorry I just need to go home?
Joe: *Scuffs* See Allie, I just don't get you. Here I am the ass who made you wet this morning and then yelled at you and didn't defend you when you needed me to and you are worried if you said something to hurt me? Well, you didn't I just don't understand how you can walk from job to job not eat and have a boyfriend who is not concerned about you. I am so worried about you and I barely even know you. Yet, I feel like I am somehow responsible for you
Me: Well don't feel like that
Joe: It's not that I want to is just I care about you and I don't want nothing bad to happen to you
Me: And thank you but I am fine.
Joe: if you say so!
Then the silence that just kills me I hate that my life has to be so miserable and I hate that I have to lie to him it breaks my heart. I really like this guy and here I am making a big mistake by just lying to him that everything is okay when it really isn't.
Joe: where's your other job at?
Me: It's this place called THEHOTSPOT
Joe; I know where that is well, the guys I work with often come there I have never been but they always tell me how great it is. They say that this girl does some Ariel dancing and sings and is great you probably know her since you work there?
Wow, the fact that his friends think I am awesome for some reason made me really happy inside. Because, I am the only girl that does the dancing stuff there so I know they are talking about me. I just can't think of his friends for some reason I am sure I have seen them before but I rarely pay any attention. Aldan is so jealous that I try to just keep to myself anytime any guy hits on me he gets mad at me and beats me up so the less interactions I have I am better off well, physically anyways…
Me: I am sure I do, I just can't think of her name right now. Look thank you so much for the ride and the talk. I am sorry if I was a little over dramatic…
As I was about to walk out of his car he grabbed my hand pulled me in and hugged me.
Joe: You take good care of yourself and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Don't miss me to much!
Me: I'll try not to.
As I got out I thought about what I just said and I have no idea where that came from but oh well.
As I got into the house I hear Aldan running towards me with all kinds of questions where were you? Why aren't you dressed for work yet? Screaming and shouting he hits me so hard across my face that I just fall on the ground and everything just became a blur I must have hit my head so hard that I just felt unconscious….
Kim: Doctor, how is she? Will she be okay?
Doctor: She has a severe head concussion and is still unconscious we are keeping her in the ICU and she will be in here for a while.
Kim: Can I please go see her?
Doctor: How are you related to her?
Kim: I am her best friend and I am the only person she has in her life she has no parents so you better let me in or I am going to have a fit.
Doctor: Well, hulk why don't you calm down for a second just wait in here and we will let you in when the time is right.
Kim: Hulk? Really that's all you could come up with cccccccccccccc.
Officer: Are you related to Alyssa?
Kim: No she is my friend
Officer: Do you know who may have done this to her?
Kim: yes, her boyfriend he is an abusive jack ass he has been abusing her for years now. I found her on the floor and called the police I have no idea how long she has been out. I hope you guys find this mother fucker and arrest him he is a piece of shit.
Officer: alright ma'am we will do the best we can here's our contact number and please feel free to contact us if he is anywhere near her. Oh and we took Alyssa's phone and checked it found nothing but this guy texted her ten times would you give it to her?
Kim: I will kill him myself if he gets anywhere near her ever again! What guy?
Officer: His name is Leati Joseph!
Kim: I don't know whom she knows by this name but I will figure it out thanks for the help.
As I lay there all I could feel is pain in my head, pain in my ribs, and pain in my lungs I was in so much pain that I could feel it but I could not wake up. I could hear people but I can't wake up or speak why can't I just wake up please, God let me wake up. Everything was so blurry and black and white and then black again I just can't see anything. I heard familiar voices but I couldn't figure out where they came from or who they were. I saw Joe's head with a big smile in front of me and then it just faded away. I guess he is the only thing that I remember. Then I felt myself chocking and I can hear people run around and someone yelling NO but I can't wake up, I can't speak I just hear people running and talking really loud and then nothing. Like nothing but silence I don't even know where I am at. Finally after a little time passed by I heard Kim's voice I know that's Kim I just know it. KIMMMMMMM but nothing happens I feel as if I am screaming for her but nobody hears me.
Kim: So how long has she been talking to you without me knowing this?
Joe: Since that night I met you guys at the sign gala.
Kim: I can't believe she didn't say anything to me
Joe: She probably just didn't want to make it a big deal.
Kim: yea well it's not cool I should know there things!
Joe: From now on we will inform you on everything!
Kim: oh it's WE now huh?
Joe: HEHE hey, what happened to her?
Kim: Look I don't know how much you know about her but…
Joe: Hey, all I want to know is what happened to her I dropped her off in her neighborhood ten days ago and all I know I never heard from her until now please tell me what happened.
(Alyssa's thoughts) Oh my God, wait that's Joe with her? What is going on? Why can't I just wake up why can't I speak why is she talking to Joe? Please don't tell him anything Kim please!
Kim: She and her parents lived in Italy she was born in Italy. One night her parents were driving her and her sister who was couple years younger than her home and they got into this huge car accident Alyssa was the only one that night that survived. Her father's side of the family decided to take her in when they realized they couldn't afford having her they sent her to the States to live with some extended family members. This family was not very nice to her and would treat her horrible. They sent her off to school but they never paid anything so all Alyssa knew was working for people to make some money. At the age of twenty she was in college about to finish nursing and then she met Aldan who was her first boyfriend he was a jealous ass who was controlling and abusive but she didn't know any better she stayed with him lost her school and lost pretty much everything he took it all from her. He is abusive and he doesn't know when to stop this is not the first time he has done this to her you have no idea how scared this girl is. One thing I will tell you if you are planning to be another disappointment in her life please leave her she has plenty of this in her life to last her a lifetime.
Joe: Wow, I don't even know what to say this is my fault I could have prevented this by just taking her inside the house. I saw all the signs of an abusive boyfriend and I didn't do anything about it.
(Alyssa's thoughts) Damn you Kim why did you have to dump all of this on him WHY? And no Joe baby this is not your fault none of this is your fault please stop blaming yourself. Why can't I just wake up?!
Kim: This is not your fault because you can't help it this has been happening for a long time it was just bound to happen. I have told her many times to get away from him but as many times as she has tried she has always failed he always gets to her.
Joe: I will never ever let anyone else hurt her ever again!
Kim: I hope not! Hey, I am going to go grab some coffee do you want some?
Joe: Yes please I will stay in with her if that's okay with you?
Kim: I am sure she wouldn't have it any other way. Oh by the way check her screen saver?
(Alyssa's thoughts) Great now he will see I am a total freak who put up a picture of us on the phone and he will run out of here and I will never see him again thanks Kim thanks a lot. God, if I could just wake up!
Kim: Is she still asleep
Joe: yea, they keep giving her medicine they said she is in a lot of pain.
Kim: I am sure she is she looks like shit.
Joe: I think she looks great considering the circumstances.
Kim: So you probably should go home I mean you have been here for three days there's not really anything you can do. Plus I just went out to the lobby and word is out that you are in here and fans are everywhere it's like a zoo downstairs.
Joe: God, I just don't get how people find out where you are all the time. I am not leaving her until she is up and I can take her home with me.
Kim: Yea those crazy fans… I am one of them! John Cena baby all the way!
Joe: You know he is not that good I am going to win his title.
Kim: HAAAAAAAAAAAAA right! He is like the best ever don't be such a cocky ass!
Joe: HAHA alright, alright I guess you will just have to see!
(Alyssa's thoughts) What happened I blacked out again? What is wrong with me why can't I just wake up from this death? I hate laying here God; I don't even know where I am at. Great now I feel this thirst in my mouth all I could see was bright light and my eyes started opening.
Joe: Allie, are you alright can you hear me?
Kim: I am going to get the doctors!
Me: Joe is that you? Where am i? What happened to me?
Joe: Calm down Allie, just stay calm, its okay I am right here.
Me: But, I don't understand why I am here?
Doctor walks in: You are here because, you had a severe head concussion some broken ribs and blood in your lungs, are you remembering anything. Can you remember what happened to you?
Me: No I can't I am sorry.
Doctor: Don't be sorry Alyssa it's quite normal for you not to remember things you have a really bad head concussion and it's going to take a while for it all to start healing. You have been in the hospital for two weeks now.
Me: What? Two weeks? I need to leave I have to get up I got to go to work! As I said this I started getting up out of nowhere and I started pulling on the cables I noticed Joe grabbing my hands and holding them and the doctor saying just keep her down she can't get up. I have no idea what has gotten over me but I was pushing Joe away from me and trying to get up as I was fighting to get up I saw the doctor giving me some more meds and then I started calming down.
Kim: what tha fuck just happened?
Doctor: She is just having a reaction to all the medicine she is going to be fine now.
Joe: Doctor, is it necessary to keep giving her medicine like that I feel like she is helpless.
Doctor: Trust me kid she needs these!
As I lay here I could see Joe just sitting next to me with his head on my bed and his hand in mine. So I took my hand and just laid it on his head and he was up with no time.
Joe: Hey there beautiful
Me: Hi there!
Joe: How are you feeling?
Me: Tired. What are you still doing here go home to your big bed and sleep I am fine!
Joe: I am not leaving you here! And plus I am just fine here with you.
Me: I tried to smile but everything hurts. Where is Kim?
Joe: She stepped out for a coffee that girl can drink coffee like milk.
Me: I know! Is she okay?
Joe: Yes, she is fine other than a little mad that you didn't tell her about me.
Me: Oh! Well, she will get over it. Are you mad that I didn't tell her about you?
Joe: I am not mad I could never be mad at you.
As he grabbed my hand I looked him in the eyes and I just knew right there that this guy cares for me more than anything. The feeling I have just knowing he is right next to me is beyond explainable. This guy that is so rough on the outside yet so sweet on the inside makes me feel out of this world.
Joe: What are you thinking about?
Me: Nothing… just I don't understand why you care so much and why you are still here?
Joe: Because, I adore you (and then he winks)
Me: hehe well, that's the first.
Joe: Well, then we will have a lot of firsts huh?
Me: Maybe!
That night was not so great for me I kept having nightmares and I kept vomiting and I had the chills for the life of me I could not fall asleep. And every second I jumped up and screamed I scared the shit out of Joe. I could tell he was exhausted just trying to make me feel better. I had the nurses and doctors come in every five minutes. Kim couldn't even take my pain screams anymore she had to leave. I felt horrible but the pain I was having everywhere was just beside me. I couldn't stop and no matter how much sleep medicine they gave me I could not fall asleep.
Me: Joe can I ask you something?
Joe: Yes, anything!
Me: Would you lay next to me maybe that will help me calm down a little?
Joe: Lay next to you in this tiny bed?
Me: Never mind forget about it…
Joe: No, Allie of course I want to lay with you I just don't want to hurt you I am a big guy and you got all these cables and tubes running out of you, and if the doctor sees me in there he will have a shit fit. He is already mad that I am in here and all the screaming fans out there.
I understand. As I said that I saw him get up from the chair he grabs this little side table and moves it out of the way. Then I watched him just take his big size 14 shoes off and slowly he grabbed the sheets and pulled them up. I moved a little as much as I could move and then I felt his big body just slowly getting in behind me. They whole time he was trying to position himself next to me he kept asking me if I was alright? I was more than alright having him next to me. Feeling his hands wrapped around me and his warm body next to me was comfort for me. I felt his breathing in my ear and I felt his hands playing with my hands if I could explain the feeling in my stomach right now it would be like butterflies having car accidents.
Me: Joe, thank you!
Joe: It is my pleasure anything to keep you feeling better.
As he said that I curled up into his body more and felt him just holding me tight I fell asleep.
As I lay there in bed I opened my eyes and all of a sudden I felt so hot my hair was almost wet and my hospital gown was too but on top of it I felt this hard leg right on top of my legs and I just wanted to scream in pain. But I realized it was Joe bless his heart he had fallen asleep like a baby and I did not want to move or make a noise to wake him. I felt his strong arms around me holding me so tight no wonder I was sweating. But having his arms around me holding me was the best feeling in the world. But then all of a sudden I hear this loud noise and of course it's Kim!
Kim: YO,YO sleepy heads wake up!
I heard her but I refused to open my eyes I pretended like I was asleep.
Joe: SHHHHHHHHHHH you're going to wake her up!
Kim: Oh! Well, what were you thinking lying in bed with her are you crazy?
Joe: She asked me too and it worked she for once slept a little until you ran in here I am sure she will be up in a minute if you continue screaming like a maniac.
Kim: Oh she needs to wake up look at her she is a mess plus she needs to explain to me why she didn't tell me about you and y'all hot romance.
As I heard her giving Joe a hard time who by the way at this point has managed to pull himself out of the bed. I felt bad so I pretended like I just woke up. Hey Kim, why are you screaming so much my head is killing me.
Kim: Good, so what you talk to this dude and you don't tell me?
Me: I am sorry Kim I just didn't think he was for real. As I said that I could just see his mouth clenching together. I felt bad but it's the truth.
Kim: So much for best friends….
Me: I love you Kimmie you know that I am so sorry will you come and give me a big hug come on you know you want to.
Kim: Fine but you stink you need a shower. I got to run to the store I am going to grab you something if you want. I need to get this hulk of yours some clothes he needs to change but he refuses to go home.
Me: No I am fine thank you though. Can you please run by my job and tell them what happened I don't want to lose my jobs.
Kim: Already took care of it don't worry!
One thing for sure as crazy as Kim is she has always looked out for my best I can always depend on her I am so grateful for having her in my life I absolutely love her. She is like a sister to me.
Joe: Good morning,
Me: Hey you!
Joe: How are you feeling?
Me: I am better, thanks to you!
Joe: That's good to hear!
Me: shit I need a shower!
Joe: My, My I think that's the first time I heard you say a cuss word it's quite cute.
Me: What? I cuss all the time like all the time! See I guess you don't know me that well.
Joe: Well, I'd like to get to know you better then.
As he just sat next to me and looked at me I heard some knocking at the door.
Joe: John hey bro, what are you doing here?
John: I didn't see you in ages and I was little worried so I heard from the boss that you are in the hospital I thought you had gotten hurt but then he said something about a girl. I came here and those assholes of doctors wouldn't let me in so I told them I was your cousin. So what's going on here? Hey you are the cleaning girl?
As John said that; Joe looked like he was about to jump out of his seat and break him.
Me: Hey yes, I am Alyssa the janitor girl not the cleaning girl. We have titles too…
John: I am sorry I didn't mean it like that.
Me: It's cool don't worry about it.
John: Wait a minute you are that dancing singing girl at THEHOTSPOT right?
As he said that Joe looked at me and was a little confused.
Me: Yea that's me.
Joe: Why didn't you tell me that was you?
Me: I am sorry I just didn't think it was a big deal
John: Big deal hell yes it's a big deal this girl can sing and she can dance for sure. So what happened to you? And how do you guys know one another?
Joe: Long story bro, I'll catch you up sometime later.
I looked at Joe and saw exhaustion in his face I instantly felt bad. I could tell he was tired and sleepy and everything else made me feel so bad.
John: Hey where's your girl at I really like her she is too much fun.
Me: If you hang around for a bit she should be back in no time she's love to see you I am sure this is the best place for her to see you.
John: hmm why is that?
Me: Because, when she sees you she will probably pass out and die.
John Laughs: I highly doubt that
Joe: Believe her! Kim is a fanatic.
Doctor knocks: I see you are feeling better Alyssa.
Me: Yes, can I go home?
Doctor: No
Me: But why not I am feeling much better I just want to go home.
Doctor: You have to try to get up a little and walk and then we have to run some more tests I think you will be in here for couple more days.
Me pouting: I hate being in here this is horrible I am much better I promise.
Joe: Allie you have to listen to the doctor.
Me: But I don't want to be in here
Joe: but you have to this is for your best.
I am so angry at being here I still don't even know what really happened to me and how I got here.
Me: Doctor, what really happened to me?
As I asked this question I saw Joe just looking paler and paler in his face.
Doctor: Well Alyssa, your boyfriend beat you up really bad you had passed out probably due to the concussion he has caused you. At around eleven they brought you in here by then you had lost a lot of blood and were in a comma. Kim was the one that found you on the floor and she called the police.
Joe: So she was unconscious for four hours because I remember bringing her home 5:30 pm.
I looked at Joe and I still can't believe that he remembers that. I had no idea that Aldan left me there unconscious like that. I just don't understand how someone you think loves you would do something like this. At this point I am just tired and I just want to shut everything out.
Kim: Hey, hey, hey Oh MY GOD JOHNNNNNNNNNN!
Joe: Told you she'd freak out.
Doctor: Okay before all you just start going insane in here and cause this girl another concussion I need you guys to leave only one person can stay in here. And Joe try to stay out of the bed we had a hard time giving her IV's with you lying in there.
Me: What? I asked him to stay with me in bed. And what I can't have visitors now? My God I feel like I am in a hospital.
Kim: Joe will you stay with her? John and I are going to go for some coffee.
Joe: Of course I will stay here where else would I go? Did you get me some clothes?
Kim: Yes the biggest I could find good luck!
Kim reaches out and hugs me and gives me a kiss and winks I bet she is just too excited to contain herself.
Me: Bye Kimmie don't do anything I wouldn't do!
As she and John left I saw Joe just sitting there and it made me sad that he has to change here in this shit hospital I wish he would just listen to me and go home.
Me: Joe please go home.
Joe: No
Me: Please you are exhausted and I am sick and I have no strength to fight with you over this please just go.
Joe: Do you not want me here?
Me: I do I love you here I just don't like seeing you so exhausted you haven't eaten anything and the little you eat in here is going to make you sick please just go home refresh and then come back to me.
Joe: I really don't want to leave you here by yourself plus why are you worried about me eating when you haven't even tried to eat your food you are wasting away.
Me: Please Joe go home! I promise I will be in here.
Joe: I don't know Allie I really want to stay here and be with you.
Me: But Hun, there is nothing you can do for me in here please just go and rest and then you will feel so much better and I will feel better.
Joe: Will you feel better if I go and rest?
Me: YES! I promise.
Joe: Fine, none of this stuff Kim brought fits me anyways she must have gone to the toddler section.
Me: No she went where normal people buy clothes you my dear are not normal.
Joe: Oh really is that so? So you are saying I am crazy?
As he was saying that he got really close to me I feel his breath on my face.
Me: No I never said you were crazy I just said you are abnormally huge and that requires major adjustment.
He smiled a big smile that smile that takes you miles away. I love when he smiles that crocked smile it always makes me happy even when I was out of it in a comma I saw that smile for a minute and it made everything better. He kissed my forehead and said he will call and be back as soon as he got some sleep. I missed him already I knew that it was for the best and I wanted it but now I almost regret sending him home because, he was the only thing that made me feel comfortable in here.
Couple hours after everyone left, I decided that I need to get up and take a shower. I looked like a hot mess. As I tried to get up I got all dizzy so I slowly reached for the bed and got myself up somehow. I felt like the whole room was moving but I just needed a shower so I forced myself to the bathroom. I turned on the water in the shower and God did it feel good. I took my gown off slowly even though it was hard I had some IV's still in so every time I moved my arms it felt like fire all over them. As I tried getting in again I got so dizzy that I tripped and the next thing I remember I was on the floor with no strength to get myself up I just sat there on the floor with tears in my eyes. I was calling out for the nurse but my door was shut and where is that emergency remote when you need it? This is horrible I kept trying to think why are these things happening to me? Why can't things just for once be normal? As I looked down on my legs I saw blood just gushing out of my arm from the IV I guess when I fell I pulled the IV out great just great! I again tried to get myself up without success. The only thing I thought was my God how much more can I take? Will this torture ever end? I feel like I am going into another comma everything is blurry again and everything just went dark.
Joe's phone rings: Hello Joe this is Dr. Anderson I have some bad news.
Joe: what's going on what happened oh my God is Allie okay?
Doctor: She is in a stable but fair condition now.
Joe: What do you mean fair condition she was fine when I left what happened?
Doctor: she must have gotten up to go take a shower and then passed out we found her on the floor hours later bleeding.
Joe: What do you mean hours later what tha fuck was the staff doing? And why tha fuck is nobody watching her? This is just unbelievable I will be there in twenty minutes.
Kim: You know doctor I wish you would just be professional and realize that all this is your fault to begin with. If you hadn't sent us all to leave this would have never happened. Your staff sucks and so do you I could kill you with my own hands.
John: Doctor please forgive her, she is a little messed up in the head sorry.
Kim: I can't believe you would take the doctors side what is wrong with you it's because of him she is in there again!
John: No it's because she got up when she wasn't supposed to that got her in the state she is in will you just stop pounding like a little girl?
Kim: No I am so angry right now!
John: I understand baby but calm down she is going to be fine.
Joe: Where is she? Why aren't you guys with her what's going on?
Kim: She won't let us in!
Joe: What why?
Kim: I have no idea the doctor said she didn't want to see any of us and he won't let us in.
I don't want none of them in here I look horrible I have no clothes on and I don't want her to help me with dressing up she is mean to me.
Doctor: Alyssa please, you have to let someone help you can I get Joe in here?
Me: No I don't want anyone in I am going to be fine on my own.
As horrible as I sounded I just don't want everyone around me feeling sorry for me I hate that. All I want is to take a shower and dress myself that's all. As I was having a fit I heard this loud noise just come right through the door and sure enough it was Joe just staring at the doctor's nurses and me.
Joe: What's going on in here they told me you don't want to see anyone why not?
Me: Get out please
Joe: I did that last night and look what happened.
As he said that I just went into a crying meltdown. Everyone kind of walked out of the room but Joe.
Me: All I wanted was a God damn shower and I got up and went in and then I got dizzy. I didn't think it was going to be a big deal. Then this girl comes in here to help me and she hurts me real bad by just yanking my wet clothes off. I asked her to just slow down and she said "I am not your little bitch" so I got really upset I never wanted to make her feel like that. Then this other girl came in and she said "Just because, you have a hot boyfriend doesn't mean we are all going to bow down to you" and then she said "you're just taking up space in here." And that made me really sad… I don't know why tha fuck I am so emotional right now but I am and that's why I don't want anyone in here I can do this on my own OKAY! I don't want you to see me like this I don't want anyone to see me like this for God's sake I am naked and fucking cold.
As I am sobbing like a crazy person he gets right next to me in my bed hugs me real tight and say's "but I like you naked" This just made me feel like I was floating on cloud nine. I can't believe the effect he has on me no matter how angry or how sad I am he always finds the best words to make me feel better. As I lay there crying my eyes out I felt his hands just going up and down my stomach and it just made me feel like I had butterflies flying inside of me. His touch was just insanity to me.
Me: Joe will you help me take a shower?
Joe: I was waiting for you to ask.
As I asked him I saw him slowly getting up from the bed he lifts me right in his arms takes me to this little tiny shower puts me on my toes "are you alright?" yes, thank you! Joe can you not look?
Joe: Allie I have just seen you naked I am not turning around and I am diffidently not letting you out of my hands so deal with it. We are two grown people I have seen naked women before.
Me: Really? Oh my God you saw naked women before WOW who would have thought?
Joe: HA HA funny pants… let's get you washed.
He put shampoo on my hair and washed it out for me I felt so uncomfortable but, before he started he gave me a towel to put around myself so I was not fully naked that really made it a little bit more bearable. He made sure he washed my arms and legs and then picked me up and brought me to the bed where he dried me off and put a gown on me. I can't even describe how gentile this huge guy is. Considering that he is 6ft 3 inches tall and 284 pounds and to be this gentile to me I just can't even believe it. This guy who towers over my 5foot 115 pounds body is such a gentleman.
Me: Joe, I will never forget you doing this for me thank you so much.
Joe: Wish you would have let me do that yesterday so I wouldn't have to get a phone call from the doctor scaring the shit out of me.
Me: He called you? Why did he call you I never gave him your number?
Joe: I gave it to him as an emergency you couldn't relay on Kim she was with John.
Me: Well, you should have not done that but thank you anyways.
Joe: you're welcome!
Sitting in the bed all washed up I feel a little better oh what am I saying I feel a hell lot of better. I just want to go home but at the same time where is home? I can't go back to Aldan's house and have yet not found a place to live in. I am pretty much homeless. I am sure I can stay with Kim for as long as I need I just hate being a burden. All these thoughts in my head and I just want to explode.
Joe: Hey what is it you look a little green what's wrong?
Me: Nothing, I was just thinking that's all.
Joe: About what?
Me: Nothing in particular (that was a big fat lie)
Joe: Hey once they release you here where will you be going?
As if he was reading my mind. What is it with this man it's like he has known me for hundred years?
Me: To be honest Joe, I think I am just going to stay with Kim for a while. I need to find a place to live in. I have been looking for apartments before all this happened but I just was unsuccessful.
Joe: Well, look I have a huge house and plenty room I'd like for you to come home with me.
Me: What No, no no! I can't do that thank you but that's just too much. You have done so much for me already no way!
Joe: Please Allie I'd love for you to stay at my house I am never there and on the days I am I promise I won't bother you at all.
Me: What that was never my concern? I just don't want to be a burden and on top of it I could never accept that I just no I can't.
As I just said that he sat real close to me and put his hands on my face which made me melt inside. Those big blue eyes and that beard and that hair uh it all just makes me want to eat him alive. He is just too damn gorgeous.
Joe: Allie please come home with me, I promise I won't do anything to hurt you.
Me: I know you wouldn't I trust you. Is just that I still do have a crazy boyfriend and I don't want him close to your house looking for me and I diffidently don't want to cause any problems please understand that.
Joe: that won't happen he won't even know where you are and as far as I am concerned you are done with that jack ass.
Me: Joe, he is everything I know. He has been my boyfriend for seven hears he is the only guy I have ever been with and as horrible of a person he is at some point in the time we dated he was nice to me. I know you probably don't understand that but he was a nice guy sometimes. He did help me a lot when I had nothing I can't forget that.
As I said these things I felt him just back away from me almost in an angry way.
Joe: He might have helped you but what he has done to you; for me he is nothing other than a jack ass who is an abusive mother fucker and I will not sit here and listen to you defend him. Its one thing to have a boyfriend who cheats and is disrespectful it takes it to a whole other level when you are an abusive fuck. I will not sit here and listen to you tell me how good of a person he is when you almost died being with him.
Me: Joe please I am sorry!
Joe: Don't, I can't and, I won't let you think that what he has done to you was a "good person" that is bunch of bull shit and you know it.
As he went on I just could feel how angry this made him so I just shut down. I mean I want to argue with him about this but I know that in a way he is absolutely right. I could have died in that house if it wasn't for Kim finding me. I could have died many times in that house. So I can't argue with him.
Me: Fine, I will go home with you. But only under one condition.
Joe: Name it.
Me: I will buy food in the house
Joe: I have a maid who does that
Me: You have a maid who buys you groceries?
Joe: yes, I am not that often at home and going shopping being a wrestling star is kind of impossible.
Me: Alright then I cook.
Joe: She does that too.
Me: Well can she not do it while I am there?
Joe: Allie why are you so stubborn?
Me: I dunno! I just don't want to be one of those people that are mooching of others. That's not my things. I don't want your things and your stuff I like you for you and that's it.
Joe: I know that you made that pretty clear the day I met you. You didn't even know who I was; remember?
Me: Yea I do. Well, then but I want you to know I am only staying for a bit until I find a place on my own okay?
Joe: Fine.
Me: Fine.
