AN: This was my o/s for the TLS Lyrics and Lemons. I want to send a out huge thank you to all of you who voted. It is because of you that this won a couple of awards. As always, I am eternally grateful toTroublefollows1017 for cleaning this up, love ya my friend! I hope you all enjoy it :). Let me know what you think.
Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns Twilight and Enrique Iglesias owns Say It.
Walking in the door I knew I had tonight, one last night to remind her of who we were. I didn't look at the bags by the door. I didn't look to see what things were missing from their spots. I didn't look at the blank walls missing pictures.
I only saw her sitting in the kitchen waiting for me. Waiting…she was always waiting for me for one reason or another; new clients, meetings, and business trips kept me from her. The irony of it all was that I did it all for her. I wanted to give her everything she wanted, but somewhere along the way it all got in our way.
Not tonight. Not anymore. I was just as determined as she was. I knew why she was waiting for me tonight. I knew what she wanted to tell me, but I wasn't going to let her.
She shifted in her seat and straightened her back but didn't turn around. She knew I was there; she could feel me there with her. She always could. Our connection was so deep and profound that it affected everything. Our insides screamed out to the other, demanding to be together. We couldn't stop it. The very air around us became charged and full of electricity when we were close.
Stepping into the kitchen, I stood behind her but didn't touch her. I could see her shoulders rising and falling with each breath she took. Her fingers were playing with the edge of the placemat in front of her. In the center of the mat was her wedding ring.
"I can't do-," she began, but I wasn't going to let her say it yet.
"Don't," I begged. "Not yet. Give me tonight." She shook her head. "Please. Let me show you. Remind you of what we are when we don't let the bullshit interfere."
I reached out and brushed her hair over to the side, over one shoulder. I leaned forward and kissed her on the top of the head.
"Edward, please. I can't."
"Bella, I know I didn't do things like I should have. I let my job take precedence over the most important thing. You. Us. I know you have spent more nights alone in this house than you have with me, but that is over. I just want you to give me tonight. Let me make this right."
She lowered her chin to her chest and I heard her exhale as her hands covered her face. I pulled her chair back to give myself enough space to kneel in front of her. I would apologize everyday for the mess that I allowed our life to become if I had to. I would beg on my hands and knees for as long as it took to earn her forgiveness. I hoped to God that she would allow me one last chance to show her we were meant to be together.
She was everything to me. The beat of my heart, the blood in my veins, the air I breathed. I needed her and I knew if she walked out that door I would not survive.
I knelt in front of her with my hands just above her knees. I waited. I needed to see her eyes; her beautiful brown eyes that could hide nothing from me. I would know if this was what she truly wanted with one look. Her hands slid down from her face and fell to her lap, but her eyes stayed closed. She knew that I would see the truth the moment she opened them.
I lifted her face with my finger under her chin and saw a tear slip from the corner of each of her eyes. I cupped her face wiping my thumbs over the wet trails on her face as her lids opened to let me in. Her emotions were all there, fighting for dominance; anger, frustration, love, passion, defeat. I wasn't sure which one would finally win out.
"I don't have it in me to keep doing this, Edward. I'm tired of being alone in this marriage. I don't want to be alone anymore."
"I know that I fucked up. I will do whatever it is that you want, but I need you to say it. If you really want this to end, look me in the eye and don't pretend that we have is through so that it is easier for you to accept. If you can't do that, give me one last night."
"Why? Why are you doing this? Why are you making this harder than it already is?"
"If you really want this to end, because I don't believe you do, I need you to say it."
She sat there looking at me, but no sound came through her lips. I grabbed her hands and stood up, pulling her up with me. She wasn't fighting me, which told me she wasn't sure in her decision to end our life together. Her tears were falling faster and I hated that I was the one that had caused her pain, caused her to cry…again.
"Bella, I love you. You are my reason for living. I lost sight of that and I am sorry. I am so sorry," I said, wrapping my arms around her. I cradled her head to my chest. I knew she could hear my heart beating a crazy rhythm. I was so scared that she would leave, that nothing I did tonight would be enough to make her stay, but I was going to give it all I had. I wasn't ready to give up.
I pulled away to look down on her face. I slide my right hand across her cheek and let my fingers slightly curve around her neck. Her lower lip trembled a little before she bit down on it. I watched my thumb rub across it, tugging it out from between her teeth. Our eyes met for a brief moment, but her tongue, wetting her lips, brought my attention back to her mouth. I lowered my lips to hers. For a brief second, she stiffened in my arms and I was waiting for the slap I was sure was coming, but it never did. Instead, her hands grabbed at the sides of my dress shirt.
Our lips were moving together slowly and unsure. I didn't like it; it didn't feel right. I needed more. I needed it to feel how it used to be. Fiery and all consuming, leaving us feeling charred but wanting more. Never being enough, always wanting more.
I let the tip of my tongue glide across her bottom lip. She hesitated for a moment before her lips parted allowing our tongues roll and glide together in an intimate dance. I ran my left hand down to the small of her back, pressing her to me. I pulled my mouth away, dragging my lips up her jaw. My tongue barely peeked out to say hello to her neck. I felt her hands fisting in my shirt above my hips when I took her earlobe between my teeth. I wasn't sure if it was from the pleasure I knew she got from it or from the war waging in her mind. I couldn't let her mind win. I needed her heart to be here with me. I needed her to feel, not think; to feel us again, even if it was for one last night.
It didn't take long to figure out which organ was winning.
"Stop," she said, trying to pull away. I wouldn't let her, I held still right where I was. My lips at the spot behind her ear, the spot I knew would buckle her knees. I was breathing heavy, and I could see her skin break out in goose bumps. Her body was there with me, feeling, remembering what I could do to it.
"Don't think, Bella, just feel. Let me remind you how great we are together. Let your body tell you how right this is." I spoke softly into her ear. With my hand still on the small of her back, I slid my hand from her face to her shoulder and down to her hand. Taking her hand from my hip, I brought it up and around my neck. "Feel." I breathed out. I did the same to her other hand and again told her, "Feel."
She put her forehead to my chest, hiding her face from me, shutting me out. I held my breath, waiting for her to push me away, to tell me it was over. I couldn't let her do that.
"Fuck this!" I growled, grabbing her wedding ring off the table and put it in my pant's pocket. Then I swept my arm over the table, throwing everything onto the floor. I lifted her up roughly by her waist sitting her on the table. "You're pissed. I get it, but I'm not going to let you throw this away without a fight. Don't say anything, tonight is about remembering us and trying to get us back."
I took advantage of the fact the she was shocked into silence. I grabbed her face in both my hands and kissed her. She finally caught on, but she didn't pull away. This kiss wasn't soft and sensual. This kiss was hard and fierce. Lips were smashed, teeth clacked together and hands were frantic in their attempt to find somewhere to anchor themselves. I only pulled away long enough to breathe.
I brought my hands down to her shoulder. I attached my mouth to her neck nibbling and biting, then swirling my tongue over the marks I'd left to soothe them. My hands roamed further down until they were palming her breasts over her shirt. I cupped both of them and ran my thumb over the hardened peak barely noticeable through her bra and shirt, and she moaned. I wanted to feel them with nothing covering them. I grabbed the hem of her shirt, stepping back so I could pull it over her head.
"Beautiful." The word slipped out as I lowered my mouth to her shoulder. I pulled the strap of her bra off her shoulder and kissed it again before I licked my way down her chest to the swell of her breast. I brought my hands up to her chest, holding her soft rounded flesh in them. I snaked my tongue out to tease her nipple through her bra only once because I needed more. I gripped the lacy edge and forced it down, holding it in place. That forced her breast to push up, and I was sucking and nibbling her nipple.
She pushed her hands into my hair, holding me to her. She was squirming and whimpering as I kept up my assault on her, but when our eyes met, I saw it. She was allowing herself to be here in the moment with me. She'd stopped thinking and was feeling. I watched her watching me. I flattened my tongue along the bottom edge of the pink skin on her breast and took a slow lick up and over her nipple. Her eyes fluttered a little but never closed. She had always liked to watch what I did to her body and that made me painfully hard.
Our pants and her moans were the only sounds in the room. Bella pulled my hair, guiding my face back up to hers. I reached behind her, unhooking her bra and removing it altogether. I needed to feel more of her, her skin on mine. I couldn't waste time with buttons tonight. I was scared to waste one single moment with her. A moment was all it would take for her to stop me and we'd be through. I couldn't have that. My fingers gripped the edges of my shirt in between two buttons and I ripped them apart. Buttons went flying and little pings could be heard as they collided with objects around us.
She raised her eyebrow at me, but I just shrugged.
With my hands back on her hips, I pulled her to the edge of the table. I laid my hands wide open onto her back and my lips went back on hers. I loved having her pressed against me skin to skin. Her heart was battering such a frantic beat inside of her chest that I could feel it through mine.
I knew she was still unsure of what she should do, but I felt her hands trembling up my abdomen to my chest, over my shoulders and her fingers tangled into the hair at the nape of my neck. Her touch made me shiver every time. It caused me to exhale, releasing some of my tension.
I ground my hips into hers, causing us to hiss. The heat from her center and the friction felt amazing, but it wasn't enough. With my fingers gripping the back her lower thighs, I hitched her legs over my hips. Her feet pressed firmly into my ass, her way of telling me she wanted more. I was more than happy to give her what she wanted, so I pressed forward again.
"Oh…"she breathed out, and I wanted to hear more of her sounds.
She was kissing where my shoulder and neck met and the feeling sent little shock waves straight to my dick. My right hand climbed up her thigh until it reached her center where I pushed and circled using the heal.
"Ah, yes… Edward."
Her head fell back exposing her neck to me. I licked all the way from the base of her throat to her chin then gently bit it.
"Lay back," I told her.
She didn't hesitate when she leaned back onto her elbows. I pushed opened the button on her jeans and brought the zipper down. Her hips lifted slightly off the table making it easier for me to pull her pants off. Tossing them behind me, I reached for her panties and they joined her pants on the floor.
I stepped forward and suddenly her foot was flat in the middle of my chest. I stopped and looked at her. Her eyes were shifting from my pants back to my face.
"Off," was all she said as she pointed at my pants. I smirked back at her. Finally, she was here with me and nowhere else. Finally, she was doing nothing but feeling, living this moment with me.
I wasted no time getting my pants and boxer briefs down my legs, then kicked them off to the side. Again, she used her leg to let me know what she wanted. Her foot hooked behind my hip and pulled me to her. When my cock touched her core, slick with her need for me, I couldn't stop the forward thrust of my hips. My body needed hers. Our bodies were magnets, pulling one to the other.
Her hand wrapped around my shaft and it was coated from her juices allowing her to easily slip her hand up to the head and back down.
"Shit, Bella. Don't stop," I groaned through clenched teeth, slapping my hands on each side of her head to brace myself.
She knew just what to do to get me going; and before long, I felt the need. She was going make me cum if I didn't stop her. I could already feel the tightening in my balls, but I didn't want to yet. I wanted to be inside of her when I let go.
"Slow down, baby. You're going to make me cum too soon. I want this to last." I placed my hand over hers and we pumped slower. With my hand on hers I could control what we did. We slid the head of my cock through her folds. Her legs and abdomen twitched when we rolled me over her clit.
"Please."
"Not yet. Mmmm, you're so hot…so wet." I forced myself to not push into her when I felt my tip at her opening again.
Bella lifted her hips up into me in an attempt to have me fill her.
"Nuh-uh-uh," I chastised, sliding back up her overheated folds.
"Edward, please," she begged, easing my cock back to her core.
I gave her a little of what she wanted, letting the head push into her. I swear entering Bella was sublime. To feel her folds spread open and her skin stretch around my cock as I pushed into her made me see stars.
"Is this what you want, Bella? To feel me inside of you."
"God, yes! More…I need more."
I had wanted to tease her a little more, but with those three words, I was lost. She needed more. I knew she meant she needed more of our sexual connection, but it also rang true with everything else going on. She needed more of my love, more of my attention, more of time, more of us. If I succeeded tonight, I would do just that. Give her more.
I pushed all the way into her and I was home. Neither of us moved once I was seated deep inside of her. Her brown eyes locked on mine and we were one; one mind, one heart, and one body.
I pulled her upper body up to mine, our gazes only breaking when her head was lowered onto my chest.
"I love you, Bella."
I pulled almost all the way out and pushed back in.
"I'm sorry."
Out and in.
"All those times we fought and I made you cry…"
In and out.
"I'm sorry."
She was kissing all over my chest, and I could feel tears landing on me. I lifted her face to mine and kissed her. I poured all of my love into that kiss. She had to see how much I loved her, even though I had screwed up, I never for one moment stopped loving her.
My hips were pushing into her faster and her walls would spasm sporadically when I would hit just the right spot inside of her. With each spasm, I was fighting to hold back. I wanted us to go over the edge together. I squeezed my hand between us, using my thumb to circle her bundle of nerves.
"God, Edward! I'm… I'm going to…," she panted out before I felt her wall clamp down around my dick. Her hands grabbed by forearms holding on for dear life as her body leaned away from me as her orgasm rippled through her. I couldn't hold back anymore.
"Ungghh," I grunted out as I spilled into her. My body felt like Jell-o and fell over Bella's. After a few minutes, all the twitching and spasms stopped completely and our breathing was back to normal, but we didn't move. I was still buried inside of her, afraid to lift myself off of her, to lose this connection.
I turned my face into her neck and was placing soft kisses on it when her hand ran through my hair. She inhaled, steeling herself up to say something and I knew I wasn't going to like it.
"Edward, this doesn't change anything."
"Bella, I love you. I allowed my priorities to get out of order, but I can fix that. We can-"
"No, I don't think that we can."
"You know what? I don't believe that." I finally lifted my head and looked at her. "Look my in the eye and tell me that you don't love me."
She closed her eyes. "Look at me, Bella. Look at me and tell me. Tell me you don't love me, you want this to end. You want us to be over."
She didn't open her eyes, but tears trickled down her temples and into her hair.
I pushed my hands under her and lifted her up. Her head tucked into the crook of my neck and her arms and legs wrapped around my body. I carried her upstairs to our room, our bed. I sat on the edge of the bed with Bella in my lap. She was crying now in earnest.
"Please, I don't know what else to do. I can't live like this anymore."
"I don't either. I promise things will be different. I'll quit my job find something that is less demanding of my time. Whatever you need, I'll do it. I just want you."
She started to shake her head, but I held it in my hands. I wasn't going to listen to any more of this. I wasn't going to let her leave. Tonight was still about reminding her of how great we once were and the sun was nowhere near rising.
"No more talking, Bella. Tonight is going to be about feeling." I moved her so she was straddling my lap. "Don't tell me if you're leaving the morning. I don't want to have a warning if you're not here."
Threading my hand into her hair, I kissed her. This wasn't the same as the heated kisses from before. This was slow and caring. This was my lips trying to memorize how soft her mouth was, how she tasted, how her plump lips felt on mine. I let my hands roam all over Bella's body, doing the same. Memorizing the curve of her waist, the slope of her neck, the smooth expanse of her back, the weight of her breasts in my hands. I was trying to catalogue everything into memory. Just in case.
She shifted in my lap and her hands began to move like mine. I hoped like hell that she was reacquainting herself with my body and not trying to memorize it.
"Just take me, Bella. Please take me," I begged, needing her to be in control this time, showing me how she loved me because I knew she still did. She lifted herself just enough to take me in her hand guide me to her and ease herself back down onto me.
We made love all night before we finally succumbed to our exhaustion.
I could feel the sun shining on my face and the birds outside were singing. It was a new day and I didn't want to open my eyes to see if I was alone or not. I couldn't hear anything over the sound of my blood rushing in my ears.
I knew the moment I opened my eyes, my life would change. I didn't reach out with my hand to feel for her, I didn't scoot my feet to her side of the bed. I lay there trying to will my heart to slow down and live in the memories of last night for just a little longer.
When my breathing was under control and my heart had slowed marginally, I knew I couldn't put this off any longer. I couldn't live the rest of my life with my eyes closed.
My eyelids slowly lifted and the bright light of the sun and the sleep in my eyes made me blink a few times before I could focus. I let out the breath I was holding when I looked at her pillow. I closed my eyes again as tears filled my eyes.
