AN: So I was feeling extremely silly when I wrote this. But I've never actually read of a food fight fic, so here we go. AU in that Ron and Hermione got together in sixth year. Inspired by a random line "feeding each other in the great hall" from the fanfic Dream a Little Dream by kidofthefrozenfrontrange. ONESHOT

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or food fights.


Food for Fun

The sixth-year Gryffindors were becoming slightly bored with the behaviour of Ron and Hermione. Being a couple was all well and good, but forcing everyone else to watch them feed each other in the Great Hall was overdoing it just a little. Harry, feeling awkward, tried to ignore the two of them as best as was possible.

"...There you go, Ron..."

"Mmm... Hermione, that tastes really good..."

Seamus rolled his eyes as Hermione started giggling and Ron grabbed the nearest sandwich for Hermione. Harry considered asking them to tone their antics down a little; he had a Quidditch game afterwards and he wanted to keep his food down.

"Ron... Ron, mmpfh!"

This rather unusual interjection caught the attention of those nearby. Dean and Seamus cracked up laughing when they saw that Ron had managed to mash half the sandwich into the side of Hermione's face. Neville and Harry caught each other's eyes and grinned. Ron, horror-struck, attempted to apologise.

"Bloody... Hermione, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean that!"

Hermione simply glared at him and grabbed another sandwich. Ron continued to watch her with a scared expression on his face. Just as she was about to put the sandwich in her mouth, she thrust her hand out and slapped one half of the sandwich onto Ron's face. The other Gryffindors were laughing outright now.

"Hermione... what did you do that for?"

Hermione simply looked at Ron smugly. Ron glared at her and looked away, seeming to sulk. Hermione, triumphantly, was about to resume eating her lunch when a pasty caught her on the side of the face. She turned to her right, only to see Ron chewing on another pasty and grinning at her mischievously. Hermione's eyes narrowed.

"Oh no, you didn't..."

The sixth-years were no longer the only audience. Ron and Hermione had, in the few weeks immediately following their getting together, proved the most nauseatingly perfect couple; a fight between them promised great entertainment. They all gasped as Hermione grabbed a bowl of jelly and upended it on Ron's head. Ron himself could not keep his jaw closed, which resulted in a few blobs of jelly falling into his open mouth. He narrowed his eyes at Hermione and reached for a cream pie.

"Alright, woman, I hope you know that this means war!"

As he yelled the last word, a blob of the forgotten jelly dripped over his eye, causing him to blink furiously and misfire the pie. It had been meant for Hermione, but where it landed was Seamus' face. Ron, hearing hysterical laughter, hastily wiped the jelly away from his eye and looked at the scene in front of him. A cream-faced Seamus was wiping bits of pie from his front and glaring angrily at Ron, with everyone around clutching their stomachs and falling out of their chairs. Hermione herself could not help giggling.

Ron was horrified, and attempted to apologise.

"Seamus, I'm so sorry, I was – "

His mouth dropped open again. In his hurry to make amends, he had not noticed that Seamus had picked up another cream pie to throw at Ron. However, Seamus' vision was affected by all the cream on his face, and had ended up aiming wrong and throwing the pie at Harry instead.

Everyone stared at Harry, waiting for his explosion. They watched as he removed his glasses and wiped the lenses. They breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that he had accepted it as an accident. However, just as Seamus looked away, Harry grabbed the nearest piece of chocolate gateau and threw it at Seamus. Ron looked at him aghast.

"Harry, are you mental?"

Harry grinned and looked at him questioningly.

"You shouldn't be one to ask – you started it!"

Ron shook his head.

"No, that's not what I mean. You just wasted a perfectly good piece of chocolate gateau! Chocolate gateau, Harry!"

Ron's despondent remonstration was met with a slice of chocolate gateau in his own face. He looked up to see Ginny grinning at him.

"Well, since you like it so much, I thought you'd want some."

As Ron reached for some other piece of dessert to hurl at his wise-cracking sister, Colin Creevey jumped up in excitement and yelled out, "FOOD FIGHT!"

Everyone from the Gryffindor table, who had hitherto only been watching, grabbed the nearest pieces of food to throw at their housemates. At some point, a Gryffindor must have thrown something at someone from another house, because the entire school ended up getting involved. There was food flying all over the place (and the occasional plate), and people were ducking under tables, defending themselves with each other, and giving each other multi-coloured, multi-flavoured faces.

Ron and Hermione, who had ducked under the table to escape the chaos, found themselves opposite each other. They grinned, fight long forgotten, and proceeded to snog under the Gryffindor table. In the Great Hall above them, absolute pandemonium reigned.


Professors McGonagall and Flitwick walked into the Great Hall afterwards. It was ... indescribable. They stood slack-jawed and flabbergasted, not knowing what to say. Eventually, Professor McGonagall turned to Professor Flitwick.

"How do you think it happened?"

Professor Flitwick could only shake his head slowly and shrug.

"Not a clue, Minerva. Not a clue."

And behind them, just outside the Great Hall, Colin Creevey grinned and patted his camera. He walked away quickly – he had lots of photos to develop.


AN: Hope you enjoyed that! Please note: the "jelly" described in this chapter is not jam, but what Americans apparently call "Jell-O". Reviews are appreciated, and do take the time to check out my other fics. :) Thanks for reading!