A/N: So this is not a new story. This is something I posted ages ago on the Chuck Kink meme on LJ. But while sitting around bored, I came up with a clever new name for it, so I posted it here. I do not think this is good. There is not story here. Just poorly written porn. And actual meeting between these two that was properly thought out and written would be much more fun. That said, I'm waiting on my better half to get home from happy hour, and I was bored, so here you have it.

Disclaimer: Don't own Chuck or Tolstoy.

Warning: Here be fem-slash.


So a spy and an ex-Nerd Herder walk into a bar. No, that's really how this story starts.

After being rejected repeatedly by Morgan Guillermo Grimes, Anna was at a loss for what to do. She couldn't just stay in L.A., with the reminders of her failure. She couldn't go back to Hawaii. She'd run into a bit of trouble with a local bookie and that's why she'd come back to the continental U.S. to begin with.

She'd planned on showing Morgan up, and eventually "allowing" him to be with her again. That had been her plan all along. But the best laid plans sometimes lead you to leave Burbank with your tail tucked between your legs, heading east to nowhere in particular, until you end up in some rundown bar outside of Reno holding a picture of your former beau, working on your fourth vodka martini.

Well, maybe that's not how the saying goes, but it certainly described Anna's situation.

"Boy trouble, huh?" asked a voice next to her.

Slowly, Anna turned her head to find sitting next to her one of the most stunning women Anna could ever remember seeing. She was in Sarah Walker's league, and considering the crush Anna had on Sarah, that was saying something.

"Huh?" was the only thing Anna managed to say to the redheaded vision sitting next to her in a low cut top and a form-fitting short skirt that left very little to the imagination.

"You have three and a half empty glasses in front of you, and you're looking at a picture as if it holds the key to life. And, you know, it's kind of my thing to be perceptive," the stranger said vaguely. She sounded like she was hiding something, though Anna couldn't even fathom a guess as to what it would be.

"He used to worship me," Anna lamented. "Then I tried to go back to him, and he rejected me. Over and over again."

"Can't say I've ever been there, but it sounds like it sucks," the other woman said. "I'm Carina, by the way."

"Anna," the Asian woman answered. "Anna Wu."

"Well Anna, Anna Wu, I don't know who this guy is, but he must be a fool to let a piece like you go," Carina, as she'd called herself, said.

Anna thought for a moment. "Are you running lines on me?"

Carina shrugged. "I don't come into dingy hole in the wall bars for the decor or the conversation," she said.

A silence fell between them as Anna considered taking up this stranger on whatever she was offering. The silence was apparently not comfortable for Carina.

"So what's his name?" she asked, reopening the conversation.

"Morgan," Anna answered, showing the picture to Carina.

Then Carina did something Anna wasn't expecting at all. She laughed. Hard. From her gut.

"I know he doesn't look like much," Anna said, growing irritated. "But he's pretty amazing, and you-"

"No," Carina cut her off, trying to stifle her laughter. "It's just, I know Martin."

"Morgan," Anna corrected.

"Right, Morgan. So, yeah, he rejected you?"

Anna nodded yes.

"Of course he did," Carina said dismissively. "That's his move."

"His move?" Anna asked, suddenly intrigued.

"Yeah, it worked on me. I ignored him almost the entire time I knew him, then all of a sudden he told me no, and it's like I couldn't resist anymore. He was actually a decent lay, too."

"You slept with him?" Anna asked indignantly. And she wasn't sure which part surprised her more. Than this woman had slept with her Morgan, or that Morgan was able to bag such a hottie.

"Yep. A few months back. I was actually thinking of stopping back by to see him while I was out this way," Carina said.

"Oh," Anna said softly.

"But maybe I found something better," Carina continued.

It took Anna a moment, what being a bit tipsy and all, but she suddenly realized that Carina was sizing her up. Checking her out. The earlier lines were still in play.

"Me?" Anna asked, surprised.

"Of course you," Carina said. "Who do you think I meant? The fat, bald, 50-something bartender?"

"Well, everyone has their kinks," Anna said.

"Hmm," Carina began, "I guess that's true. Know what mine is?"

"What's that?" Anna asked.

"Come back to my room and I'll show you."


Anna wasn't disappointed when Carina showed her. She wasn't disappointed at all.

Within seconds of walking into Carina's motel room, Anna found herself naked, splayed out on the bed as the much taller woman knelt before her, lapping at her pussy with a tongue that seemed to be touching every part of her at once.

"OOOOoh God! Fuck me!" Anna screamed.

And Carina did. She inserted first one, then quickly two, then three fingers into Anna. She crooked them, and began to massage Anna's g-spot as her talented tongue continued its assault on Anna's clit.

"Holy shit you're good at that," Anna moaned.

She could practically feel Carina smile against her before the redhead looked up at her.

"I know," Carina said, before ducking her head back between Anna's legs, going back to work with a new vigor.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Anna screamed. "Make me come!"

And make her come Carina did. Anna was actually a little scared she might hurt the other woman when her orgasm hit her, and she squeezed her thighs tight around Carina's head.

When she'd finally calmed, when her breathing was finally somewhat normal again, Anna apologized.

"I'm sorry if I squeezed a bit too hard," she said. "It's just, you know, been awhile."

Carina waved a hand dismissively. "It was nothing. Hell, you should see the things Sarah, my ex, used to do to me."

Anna's eyes shot open in surprise. They felt like they were about to pop out of her head.

"You used to fuck Sarah Walker?"

"You kidding?" Carina asked. "I got Sarah Walker's cherry. I've fucked her more than anyone alive." Then remembering Bryce's condition: "Or dead."

"Wow," Anna said, truly amazed. "I can't tell you how many fantasies I've had about that woman."

Carina laughed again. "Oh, I can imagine. And just think, now you've had the woman that Sarah fantasizes about. Sarah's 'one that got away'."

Okay, yeah, that filled Anna with a bit of pride.

"Speaking of fantasies, I've been dreaming of having a small Chinese woman eat me out for months now. Know anything we could do about that?" Carina asked suggestively.

Anna smiled. "Yeah, I think I can make your dreams come true."

"Great," Carina said, beginning to strip. "Oh and after you get me off, maybe I'll introduce you to Big Ben."

"Big Ben?" Anna questioned.

"Sarah's favorite strap-on. I always carry it with me when I'm going to visit her."

Anna had one last thought as Carina lowered her pussy onto Anna's face: "Morgan Who?"


Disclaimer: I'm sorry. You guys are awesome. Peace.