Hey guys, this is a re-upload of a story I did a while ago on my old profile :) You all know this one.
*General POV*
Piper hadn't really noticed it before, she was usually so caught up in other things especially now with Gaia rising and everyone was just a little bit freaked out. Nico, Reyna and Coach Hedge were likely halfway around the world right now and they were currently headed to Pylos.
What she hadn't noticed for so long, was the little scarf of fabric wrapped around Leo's wrist for as long as she could remember now that she thought about it. He'd always worn it, every day even when he was conked out in the engine room. It never changed, dark black fabric with etchings of pale orange going around it and a simply but tight knot tied on the upside of his wrist.
'Leo?' she questioned, her curiosity finally getting the better of her.
He looked up from the other end of the table, his taco halfway to his mouth, 'what is it Beauty Queen?' he asked, grinning.
'What's that scarf around your wrist?'
The smile froze on his face and she could practically see the perspiration beading on his forehead, 'nothing, just a fashion statement' he replied, forcing a smile on his face as he lowered his food back onto the plate.
'You're always wearing it, does it hold some sort of significance to you?' she asked, frowning at his evasiveness.
Everyone was still chatting amongst themselves but Jason was starting to take notice of the conversation between her and the son of Hephaestus.
'Not really, I just like it' he said, his voice quivering almost unnoticeably.
Almost.
'Seriously Leo, what is it?'
'It's nothing' his answer came too fast and he winced as he noted the acute note of defensiveness in his voice.
She looked at him skeptically and he sighed, pushing away from the table headed away from the table.
'Wait' said Jason, reaching out to grasp the Latino by the very same wrist.
Leo gasped and winced as Jason's fingers closed around his wrist, noting the son of Jupiter's blatant concern he pulled his arm away sharply and dashed out of the room.
By now everyone was silent as Piper stood and moved to go after him. She heard the door to the engine room close sharply and froze, her hand on the door-frame of the hallway.
'What's going on?' Percy asked, his hand atop Annabeth's on the table.
'Something's wrong' Jason said, frowning, 'I think-' he cut himself off, shaking his head a little.
'What?' Piper asked, noticing the deep-rooted worry on her boyfriend's face, he looked far more concerned now than he did a few minutes ago.
'It's just-' he sighed, rubbing his hand against the back of his neck, 'the way he reacted when I grabbed his wrist, the one with the scarf, it's almost like…'
'Like he was in pain' Piper breathed, a horrible thought entering her mind causing a shard of ice freeze her heart, 'oh gods'.
'He's not like that' Hazel said, immediately understanding what they were getting at, 'he's always so happy-go-lucky and carefree there's no way he'd ever think of doing that'.
'Wait, have I missed something?' Percy said, a frown crossing over his darkened features, he didn't know Leo well but after their little 'talk' about Calypso in Olympia he liked to think they'd gotten closer and he worried for the boy.
Hazel looked indignant, glaring slightly at Piper as she spoke, 'they think he's cutting himself'.
'What?' Percy said, disbelief coloring his tone neon.
'I know' she practically growled.
Frank laid his hand across hers, looking at her with concern washing over his features.
She sighed, leaning back against the head of the chair, 'I'm sorry it's just I don't like to think like that'.
As they proceeded into a heated discussing Piper slipped silently out of the room headed down the hallway. She raised her hand to knock before someone caught it, she turned sharply catching a glimpse of electric-blue eyes before calming instantly.
'Easy' he said, rubbing his thumb over her clenched fist, her knuckles white, 'you want to talk to him or…?'
He trailed off there but she knew what he though, perhaps he knew her well enough of maybe he could just see the guilt on her face about what she was going to do, 'I know it's not right to use charmspeak but I'm just worried'.
'I know' he murmured, leaning in to pull her against his chest as she tried to level out her shaky breathing.
'Are you sure?' he breathed.
She hesitated, her fingers fisting in his shirt, she took a shaky breath, then another. She nodded, squeezing her eyes shut and breathing again.
'Alright, then I'm with you' he said, letting go and looking her in the eyes, 'I'll go in with you'.
She nodded, turning again before reaching to knock again. There was no response and she sighed before opening the door and peering inside.
The room was dark, lit only by a lantern or two and scraps of celestial bronze scattered around the room. Buford was silent in the corner maybe asleep.
Do tables sleep?! Piper thought idly, before shaking the thought away.
Over at the far wall, there was a figure huddled over a workbench, tinkering with a few pieces of metal.
'Leo?' she called.
His shoulders hunched and he exhaled sharply, his hands going still. She took a breath and headed over to him. He didn't move to stop her and she reached out, her hand closing over his shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze.
'What is it?' he asked, his voice scarily hollow.
'Show me' she said, no hint of charmspeak in her voice, she wanted this to be consensual from Leo.
'Show what?' he asked, turning to look at her, a slight glare in his gaze.
'Take it off' she asked, her eyes begging him not to use her charmspeak against him.
His jaw set stubbornly and he scowled, 'c'mon Pipes, it's nothing so let it go'.
'Leo' she said, warning him.
'No, if you're so conflicted then don't' he said, his voice rising.
'We just want to help man' Jason said, having the decency to at least look guilty whereas Piper was steadfast, hiding her guilt. Wanting Leo to know just how far she was willing to go for him.
'Help? You can't help me' Leo scoffed slightly and turned away, trying to move away but Piper latched on to his shirtsleeve.
'Don't walk away from me' she said, anger hinting in her voice as the barest trace of charmspeak working its way into her tone.
'Don't force me' he replied, scowling.
'Take. It. Off' she said, her voice clipped.
He clenched his jaw and fisted his hands at his side, standing completely still, it took almost all his willpower just to do that.
For a moment Piper's gaze was filled with guilt and she winced before telling him instead, 'stand completely still' pouring her charmspeak into her words.
Leo's gaze was confused first, his mind conflicted but his body immobile before she reached to his wrist and panic flashed through him, he strained, trying to pull away before she latched on to his wrist, apologizing profusely as she untied the knot. The sinking feeling intensified as she saw the thin strip of white bandage encircling his wrist.
His breath was coming in short gasps and Jason moved over to wrap his hands around the smaller boy's arms, 'I'm sorry Leo, but really it's for your own good'.
Jason felt a horrible pang of guilt and hurt run through him at the betrayal he saw in Leo's eyes, the fear, pain, guilt and anger. The emotions rolling one after another through Leo's expression. But he had to do this.
He looked over as Piper gasped, he bandages now on the floor. One hand was wrapped over her mouth as if to stop her screaming and the other wrapped around Leo's wrist. He looked down and visibly blanched at what he saw.
White scars criss-crossed over the underside of Leo's wrist and there were quite a few newer ones, some were a dark red as they'd been healing for a few weeks and others were ever fresher, still bleeding slightly. Piper's charmspeak slowly faded and Leo wretched his arm from their grasps. He stalked back over to the workbench and slammed his fist into the wall, breathing heavily.
Piper couldn't stop the tears from overflowing and trailing down her cheeks and she furiously scratched them away, her hands frantically wiping at her face. Jason was dazed, horror etched upon his face at the thought of what his best friend must have had to go through in order to be overcome with that kind of pain. To go so far as self-harm was a horrible thing in itself, but to go that far and to still act so happy and cheerful around everyone… Leo was far too strong for his age.
'Why?' Piper whispered, her voice broken with sobs that threatened to rip free of her throat.
Leo said nothing, only proceeding to yank more bandages from his tool belt and start wrapping them furiously around his wrist, tying it off with more force than necessary and then doing the same with his black and orange scarf.
'Why Leo?' she tried again.
'Don't ask why' she replied, his voice scratchy and hoarse as he shuddered violently, 'ask why not'.
'Leo' she said, her hand reaching out to him.
He jerked away from her touch, his eyes meeting hers, filled with remorse and betrayal, 'just leave me alone' he whispered, turning on his heel and slamming the door behind him.
Piper could do nothing but stand there, her shoulders quivering and her breathing accelerated.
'Piper' Jason called softly.
Her head jerked up and she realized she'd been crying the whole time. He wipes her tears gently off her face and holds her for a while, her arms go around him but only for a moment before she pulls away.
'Pipes?' he questions, noticing the guilty look as she practically flinches away from him.
'He's got nobody' she whispers, her eyes clouded with remorse.
'He's got us-'
'Not right now he doesn't!' she shouts, her hands clamping over her mouth as she turns away, wrapping her other arm around her torso.
His hand squeezes her shoulder, 'then let's give him someone'.
She turns, her gaze questioning.
'We'll force-hug him' he tries for a joke and Piper barks a laugh that probably sounds more like a sob.
She cleans off her face before they head to tell everyone what's going on.
After the whole story most of the others are in shock. Frank is staring blankly at the table, Percy and Annabeth are speechless and Hazel started crying long ago. Piper would have cried too but she'd long since run out of tears. Jason was constantly running a hand through his hair or rubbing the back of his neck.
'Why would he-' Hazel was cut off by a hoarse sob that ribbed through her throat.
'I don't know, I just-' Piper sighed, fisting her hands in her hair, 'I just… don't know'.
'We have to do something' Percy mumbled, his face guilt-ridden.
'But what?' Jason asked desperately, he wanted nothing more than to help his friend but he wasn't familiar with this, he'd lived at Camp Jupiter most of his life and he barely remembered what little time he'd spend with his mother and Thalia.
'He feels alone' Piper said monotonously, 'he feels like he can't talk to anyone and he's bottling up his feelings until it all comes out in a rush he can't contain. All those feelings he's been holding back; anger, sorrow, remorse, guilt, fear all of it is piling up on him and he's struggling. So we need to alleviate that isolation, we need to make sure he knows that we are here for him. What he believes is that we can't understand what he's going through, that we have no idea what's going on with him and he needs to know that despite that, we can still help'.
'How do you know so much?' Jason asks.
'I wasn't as bad as Leo but I was still… depressed… for a while. This was years ago though and I can't quite remember so much about it'.
'You didn't-' Jason voice was tinged with worry once again.
'I didn't cut no' she met his eyes, 'but I did think about it so I kind of get what he's feeling'.
'What do we do?' asked Annabeth, her hands clasped tightly around each other, her knuckles white.
'We use Jason's idea' Piper replied, the barest trace of a smile working its way onto her face.
'I was joking' he said, his eyebrows raised.
'What?' Frank had a severely confused look on his face.
'Force-hugging' she said, smiling a little.
Frank wanted to laugh but he wasn't sure it was the best moment.
'Seriously?' asked Percy, scepticism clear on his face.
'Seriously'.
'Let me go in first?' Piper asked gently.
They prodded her on, nodding.
She opened the door to Leo's room silently, looking for him in the almost-dark of the room. He was huddled beside his bed and he looked up, his face blank. She gulped, closing the door softly behind her and heading over slowly. She sat gently down beside him and stayed still and quiet for what seemed like a long time but was probably only minutes.
She began to relax, not really expecting him to talk but just sitting there. She jumped slightly when she felt his head fall gently onto her shoulder. She looked down, noting the dried tear tracks on the Latino boy's face. She let her head fall onto his and she heard him sigh. They stayed in that position for a while before she felt the need to say something, anything.
'I'm sorry Leo' she said softly.
There was no response from Leo and she sighed almost imperceptibly, letting her body relax into him. She then noticed his breathing was slightly irregular and he was clammy and pale. She gently moved her hand to place it on his forehead.
He's got a serious temperature, she noted worriedly, frowning.
She moved her hand down, subtly pressing her first two fingers into his throat, searching for a pulse. It was thready and weak.
'Leo' she moved so she was sitting in front of Leo and she raised his head to look at her.
'Lo siento' she heard the weak Spanish escape his lips.
She had no idea what that meant, 'Jason?' she called.
The door opened and closed softly and said person leaned down beside her, 'what is it?'
'Do you know any Spanish?' she asked, looking carefully at him.
'Uh, Reyna taught me a little but not enough to carry on a conversation' he admitted, 'why?'
'He's speaking in Spanish and I have no idea what he's saying'.
'Lo siento' Leo said again, a little quieter.
Concern washed over Jason's features immediately, 'Leo?'
'What?' Piper asked, wondering just what the son of Hephaestus had just said.
'He said 'I'm sorry'' Jason replied, lifting Leo's face, 'he's got a fever!'
'I know, his pulse is weak too and he's pale and clammy' she rested her hand against Leo's cheek, patting him slightly trying to wake him up a little more.
'Leo? Can you hear me man?' Jason said, his hand squeezing Leo's arm.
'Dónde estás mama?' Leo whimpered softly.
Jason froze and then almost as quickly started to panic, wondering if the small boy was delirious.
'What did he say?'
'He's asking for his mom' Jason gave her the washed down version.
Piper immediately looked scared, she knew Leo's mother had died years ago so why was he asking for her. The only possibly conclusion she could come up with was that his fever was high enough to cause deliria.
'We have to get him to the med bay' she said, standing.
'I've got him, you get the door' he said, putting his hands underneath the Latino, carefully maneuvering him so as not to hit his head on the table top. He caught sight of something on the floor that made his blood run cold. A small paring knife resting where Leo had sat only moments before, the edge glistening with partly dried blood.
'Piper?' he choked out.
'What's wrong?' she asked, running back over.
He couldn't form words though, his eyes were unable to tear away from the bloodied metal. He heard a slight gasp and knew she'd seen it. She plucked it off the floor and gestured Jason to follow her to the med bay. She examined Leo's wrist as she went along and it nearly broke her heart to see several deep cuts on the boy's wrist.
Blood loss. Coupled with dehydration and sleep deprivation that she knew he suffered from for weeks. Lethal unless they did something immediately.
'Come on' she said, her hand wrapping securely around the wounds on his wrist, where the blood ran far too slowly. He looked down, cringing as he finally noticed the blood on the right side of Leo's shirt, the way his friend's face was far too pale in comparison to his usual tanned skin tone.
'My gods' Annabeth exclaimed from the hall, 'what happened?!'
Her face paled as she caught sight of the blood on his shirt and the paring knife in Piper's hand.
'Oh gods' she mumbled, backing away from the door as they carried Leo down the hall.
After getting Leo settled in one of the beds Piper, in her new-found scary I'm-completely-silent-because-I'm-scared-out-of-my-mind Piper, went to the closet to take out ambrosia, nectar, gauze and bandages. She lifted up his arm and her blood was practically frozen by then.
There were at least seven new cuts each one was deeper than the ones they'd seen earlier. There were three that were straight, cut with a practiced hand which broke her heart but the next four, these were jagged and uneven. Cut by someone in two much pain to really see what he was doing, emotional pain and the physical pain that comes with blood loss.
She trickled some nectar down Leo's throat before she began to wrap his wrist up, putting the gauze over the cuts and wrapping the bandages securely around them. After this she gently lifted his shirt, pulling it over his head and throwing it distastefully across the room to the floor. She noticed old scars from the forges over his torso and shoulders and she saw that there was blood splotching his skin. She retrieved another bandage and dipped it in warm water, wiping the blood off gently.
'Is he-' Hazel said from the doorway, her voice catching as she saw the blood.
'He is going to be fine' Piper said, a little too forcefully.
'Debería ser mejor para usted' Leo croaked out, 'Soy débil, no puedo ayudar más'.
'What?' Piper asked Jason, her voice catching slightly.
'I don't know!' he said frantically, 'I only know a little bit! I don't know!'
'Reyna? Maybe we can get an iris-message to her?' Annabeth said from behind them.
'Try it, we need to know how to help him' Piper said.
Annabeth nodded, going to the kitchen, she'd be able to make a water spray from there and the window were bright enough. After a little work creating a spray in front of the window she tossed a drachma in and called for Reyna.
The connection was a little fuzzy but she saw Reyna in a discussion with Nico and Coach Hedge. Nico looked exhausted and there were gruesome claw marks on his arms. He noticed her and pointed her out to Reyna.
'Annabeth?' she looked surprised, 'what-'
'I'm sorry, this isn't a social visit but we need your help' Annabeth said urgency clear in her voice.
'How can I help?' she questioned, wondering how she could do anything from this far away.
'You speak Spanish right?'
Reyna frowned slightly, 'yes I do'.
'Good, we need you to translate a few things, it's Leo'.
Annabeth relayed Leo's words and Reyna paled visibly, 'he's saying 'I should be better for you, I can't help anymore' what is going on?!'
'There was an incident, he's got deliria from a pretty high fever and he's- he's pretty bad, Piper and Jason are trying to help and we've given him nectar and they're giving him ambrosia now but it's not doing much'.
'Is he sick or…'
'I'm pretty sure it's from dehydration and sleep deprivation and blood loss-' Annabeth stopped, knowing Leo wouldn't exactly want this broadcasted.
'Blood loss? Were you attacked?'
Annabeth could only not mutely, 'I have to go Reyna, see if I can-' her breath hitched, 'see if I can help'.
She swiped her hand throw the mist without waiting for a reply and headed back to the others. As she came in through the door she saw Piper taking a sewing kit out from the closet.
'What happened?' Annabeth asked, seeing that Leo was almost as pale as Nico by now.
'The bleeding isn't stopping' Piper said, her voice steely, 'I have to stitch the wound closed'.
'Can you?' Percy asked levelly.
Pier looked up, her face calm but her eyes were tortured with terror, 'I have to'.
The next half hour was brutal, the tension simmering, practically tangible, Piper ad asked everyone to wait outside and Jason had been reluctant but he saw the desperation in her eyes. The five of them sat outside, hands clenched, feet tapping in anxiety and everyone's eyes darting around the room, trying to focus on what was going on.
Annabeth hadn't told anyone what the garbled Spanish Leo had choked out meant, she didn't want to scare them further and thankfully, Jason seemed to have forgotten what he'd asked her.
Piper left the room, blood on her shirt and her demeanour and pallor screaming exhaustion. Her eyes were bloodshot and she leaned heavily against the door-frame.
'Is he alright?' Jason asked.
She looked up, her features weary and heartbroken, 'physically yeah' she sighed, rubbing a hand across her face and pushing gently past everyone, 'emotionally? He's broken. He's broken and it's our fault'.
She entered her room, closing the door none too gently behind her, causing Jason to wince. He exhaled, deflating visibly. He slid down the wall, his face dropping into his hands. Annabeth came over, her hands squeezing his arms, not saying anything, not needing to.
He looked up, sighing and pushing Annabeth gently away as he stood. He opened the door to the infirmary and headed inside, closing the door behind him. He slowly brought his eyes up to look at his best friend.
Leo's skin practically glowed white in the harsh light and there was a sheen of sweat on him. His eyes were scrunched up in pain and his breathing was accelerated. His hands clenched against the sheets, grabbing fistfuls of the fabric. His wrist was stitched up, not exactly the neatest job but it had stopped the bleeding. He went over, taking a bandage and gently wrapping it around the Latino boy's wrist.
After a minute a drop of water splashed against the white of the bandage and Jason frowned. He winced as he realized that he'd been crying silently. He wiped his face quickly and finished off the wrapping. He fell into the chair beside the bed and exhaled heavily.
'I'm sorry Leo' he said, 'I'm so sorry none of us noticed this was happening to you. I'm sorry we neglected to take care of you, to help you. We were supposed to be there. We were supposed to be your friends and instead we got caught up in our love lives and we neglected you. We neglected your humor, your intelligence, your support with all of our problems even when we never listened to yours, your determination and we never even saw you when you were there. I hope you can forgive us but honestly' Jason's voice broke, 'I'm not sure we deserve to be forgiven'.
'You're not giving up on me are you Sparky?'
Jason shot up, his eyes on the boy in front of him. Leo's eyes were bloodshot and droopy, his normally bouncy curls were flattened and limp and his skin was still glistening and pale but his face, his face was smiling.
'Leo' he breathed.
There was a second. A second of complete silence and then Jason hurled himself at Leo, crushing him in a hug as Leo laughed slightly at his response.
'Jeez, don't crush me!'
'You idiot' Jason whispered, feeling Leo go still beneath him, 'you are a complete idiot Leo Valdez! Did you ever, even once, think about what would have happened if we hadn't found you, did you ever think about what you'd do to us if you died!? Did you ever think you freaking moron!?'
Jason's voice was quiet but harsh and Leo sighed, 'I know, I was being selfish but I didn't see a way out I just… Why do you even need me I'm just the Repair Boy and I can't even-' his voice caught and he inhaled shakily.
'Leo' Jason said, his voice level, 'we're nothing without you. We. Are. Nothing! This quest, all these friendships between us are possible because of you!'
'The Romans are marching on Camp Half-Blood because of me!'
'We're saving the world, we're going to stop Gaia and get back to save the camp because of you. Stop beating yourself up over things that are mostly out of your control like the Romans. That's out of your control but do you know what isn't? You made this ship, you're the reason we even have a quest in the first place. You're the reason we're even able to fight back instead of waiting for the end. You're giving us a way to win, you Leo Valdez, are a world saver'.
'You been hitting the hard stuff already Grace?' Leo joked.
Jason didn't laugh, 'we don't know enough about you Leo, we never bother to ask questions because we're so tied up in ourselves and that's unforgivable and I will spend the rest of my life telling you how sorry I am if it will make you understand how much we need you, how much we all love you Repair Boy'.
Leo looked like he wanted to say something but his voice wouldn't work. Jason looked his squarely in the eye, letting all his apologies and guilt come to the surface. Leo's voice hitched and tears spilled down his cheeks as he caved, leaning into Jason's embrace as quiet sobs racked his body. His arms immediately went around the smaller boy, encircling him and holding him close.
'Thank gods'.
Jason looked up, noticing how everyone's face was peeked into the room. They were filled with relief and Piper was at the front, her face holding so much worry and relief for her little brother figure. She slinked in the door, going straight to Leo, her arms going around them both.
'You fell apart' she said, her face streaked with dried tear tracks, 'you fell apart and you still managed to smile and laugh and joke and hold the rest of us up. What the hell kind of right do we have to call ourselves your friends' her voice finally broke and she sobbed slightly.
Leo looked up, his gaze quizzical.
'It's up to you' Piper said, wiping her eyes, 'we don't get the right to be called your friends, that's up to you'.
'Of course you're my friends!' Leo looked offended, 'I wouldn't have it any other way! C'mon Beauty Queen!'
Piper gave him a watery smile before pulling him into a hug, kissing him lightly on the cheek, 'and don't you ever forget, we're here every day, any time for anything.'
'Thank you' he breathed, letting his worry out, letting all that built up resentment and anger and fear wash away from him as he just stayed with his friends.
Until the end...
END...
Yes, that was mean to end it like that :P But anyways, thanks for reading and I would really appreciate reviews if it isn't too much trouble :)
Sky-chan, out.
(A/N: I'm not saying in any way that self-harm is the way to go, I'm not one to talk but please don't take this as a suggestion)
