Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter.
Author's Notes: This has Molly/Ginny/Ron bashing. Beware. Mildly AU - all Weasleys are alive.
AN2: I have always had this in the back of my mind wondering how JK could put Hermione with Ron, of all people. They have nothing in common and so came the title that I thought most fitting.
Since When Does The Sidekick Get the Girl?
Hermione Granger stood inside The Burrow's living space, a mixture of amusement, shock and anger on her pretty face as the twenty year old eyed Ronald Weasley, currently on one knee and holding some sort of horrendously tacky ring in his right hand as his Quidditch roughened left hand took hers. Around them was an assembly of Weasley family with a few friends joined in to watch this display or rather, proposal of marriage.
With a hint of disgust, Hermione quickly jerked her left hand from Ron's and wiped it on her jeans clad pant leg while her golden hazel eyes sought Ron's bewildered blue.
"You couldn't honestly think I would say yes, could you? Ronald," Hermione's legendary impatient tone voice coming out, "get off your knee, you git."
Ron stood up to his much taller height, towering over the petite brunette and causing her inwardly to put that as another thing she would never want in a spouse. Being able to look someone in the eye without getting a creak in the neck was a plus in her book. As the slow-witted youngest Weasley son gathered his thoughts on what the young woman had just said, he registered in the back of his mind the sound of his twin older brothers high-fiving.
"What...? Hermione..."
"Don't stutter, Ronald, it's annoying as well as pathetic. I mean, honestly, what were you thinking, if at all, to presume I would say yes to marrying you? Have you lost all your senses? We haven't even been out on a date."
The hostility in Hermione's voice caused the boy's posture to slump and then he glared down at her. All around them his family and friends had witnessed this scene and inside he was reeling from the acute embarrassment.
"Hermione, you know I ..."
"If you say I love you I will have to hex you," Hermione replied.
Off to the side, nearest the kitchen, Molly Weasley watched the girl she had come to accept as a future daughter-in-law hand Ronald back his pride in pieces. The matronly redhead was about to defend her offspring when she felt her husband put a hand on her arm stalling her approach towards the callous girl.
"Let them be, Molly."
"Arthur, the girl is embarrassing him."
"He brought this on himself to propose in front of the whole family." Arthur offered up.
"Arthur..."
"No," Arthur tightened his grip on his wife's arm, "let it go, Molly."
Harry Potter was also seeing his best friend being taken apart by his other best friend and had to admit Ron did deserve it. When Ron had told Harry days before that he was going to propose Harry had cautioned the impetuous redhead to think things through but as usual Ron didn't listen and was now going to pay for it.
"I don't understand." Ron said to the girl he supposedly 'loved'.
"Clearly or else you would have not seen fit to make a spectacle of yourself by proposing to someone who doesn't want to marry you."
Ron let his anger that had been boiling at her condescending tone get the better of him and lashed out at her.
"And now I am beginning to see why Harry was trying to talk me out of asking. You are obviously too frigid to accept anyone rather cosy up to your precious books than allow another human being close to you. I was right in school, you are going to end up with no one but a house full of cats for company."
If he was expecting for her to cry he was sadly mistaken as Hermione only felt a small smile creep up on her and she shook her head to remove the laughter that comment had brought.
"You are an idiot," Hermione stated, "if you think that something you say about me has any effect what so ever. I would have to care what you think for that to happen and I don't. And do you know why, Ronald Bilius Weasley? Well, I am going to tell you. Because you're opinion means nothing to me. You stand here in self-righteousness acting as if you are the injured party when that simply isn't so. Do you even care why I said no? Of course not. All you care about in that simple-minded brain of yours is that you didn't get your way and therefore it is clearly all my fault. Sorry, you arrogant prat, that is not going to work."
"Now, Hermione..." Harry protested, coming forward adjusting his black rimmed glasses on his nose with a pointer finger.
"Don't 'Now, Hermione' me, Harry James. I have had enough of pretending I give a rat's ass what this judgemental family thinks of me. Oh, I am so horrible I want a life of my own. Oh, I don't want five hundred children so I must be the biggest selfish bitch in the Wizarding World. Oh, I couldn't possibly attract another useless, gutless male to paw and slobber on me like I'm was a T-bone steak. Sorry but I have had enough. You want to live in this family with the Hogwarts Slut," Hermione turned her amber gaze on the youngest Weasley sibling who was dressed in spiked high heels and a barely existing cocktail dress that showed plenty of 'enhanced' cleavage and long pale legs, "who only has gone after you since finding out you were The-Boy-Who-Lived and not just Harry then be my guest but I am done."
"Just a minute, young lady," having wrestled her arm away from her husband Molly Weasley came closer to Hermione, her face a vivid shade of tomato red that clashed brillantly with her carrot-red hair, "you have no right..."
"No right? I have every right, you termagant harpy. For years I have had to listen to you, Ron and Ginny act like my being smart was some sort of mortal sin. That my not wanting to spend every last minute of my short life changing nappies and catering to some male who never thanks me or thinks to ask me anything about my wants or needs. For eight years I have had to put up with you mollycoddling the youngest two and Percy, let's not forget that waste of space, to live in the shadows of their other siblings, to not want to be their own people and hide behind people who can do something for them. Rather like the Slytherins. That you monopoly Harry's time when he should have been studying and putting effort into winning the war sooner on your promiscuous daughter who opens her legs to any man with a six inch cock. That you put me and Ronald in situations alone so not only do I have to fend off his unwanted, disgusting advances but to know that you gave him to idea that I would want anything to do with a male who doesn't stand on his own two feet but behind his mother's apron strings!" Hermione finished, exclaiming out the last part to get through to the harridan.
The room was stunned into silence at Hermione's outburst.
"The only reason I've put up with your many failings was because Harry needed me. He might have only needed me for my brains but that was worth it to me in the end to help him. He's a good soul," Hermione returned her attention to the lummox trying to disappear into the wall behind him, "unlike you, Ronald. You are a whiny, self-absorbed opportunist, just like Draco Malfoy was. You judged him based on his family just as he did on yours without trying to see his side of things, something both your parents encouraged. The fact that I kissed you at the end of the battle shows how much stress I was under to even think of snogging someone with whom has had physical relations with Lavender Brown and doesn't know which hole your silly little stick goes in."
Snickering came from Ron's older brothers including Bill and Charlie at that comment.
"Why do you want to marry me, Ron? So that you have one up on Harry? That you marry the Heroine and not the Hero? Do you even know that most basic things about me? What my favorite color is? What time of day I enjoy most? What my parents names are? How about why I like to read so much? Have you ever bothered to make an effort to know me at all? You think that popping by my flat, rummaging through my kitchen and basically making yourself a nuisance in my life qualifys you to be my husband? We've never been on date, talked alone for any length of time without wanting to kill the other or had anything in common but the desire to help Harry. So I apologize for causing you embarrassment but you need to start using what braincells you have and think things through. Have I ever talked about having children or getting married?"
She tapped her foot waiting as Ron realized she actually wanted a response to this question.
"Well," he rubbed an hand on the back of his neck, "not really."
"Astounding you remember that much. And do you know why?"
"Geez, Hermione ..."
"No, really, Ronald, why? Maybe because I want to actually do something with my life. Be useful. I want to travel and learn about other cultures and their influence on modern Potions and Charms. I want to write books to help Muggle-borns understand this world better. I want to do so many things that don't include being Mrs. Ronald Weasley, the reserve Keeper for the Chudley Cannons because he couldn't make an effort in Hogwarts to get the Owls necessary to become an Auror, which you would have done well at. You sell yourself short, Ron and I just can't be with someone who doesn't even believe in themselves."
Shaking her curly head she took a look around and caught the eye of the surreal blonde beauty Luna Lovegood who was watching the interactions with interest.
"And you don't see the most perfect person for you is right under your own nose. You are my friend," Hermione smiled as Ron snorted at that, "you really are no matter what I have said. I just can't pretend things are fine with us. I don't want to be pressured to marry you when we will only make each other miserable. I don't want to marry you and have to become someone I hate, I wouldn't want that for you either. I just want us to be happy. Is that a crime?"
Ron shook his own shaggy red mop.
"No, Hermione, it's really not."
"Okay then?"
He gave a slight smile, "After the talking too I just got if I'm not then my brothers will make sure I am."
Laughing she opened her arms and hugged him, causing 'Ahhh's' to echo in the room.
"So," he pulled back and looked at the one girl he always thought of as his, "what happens now?"
"Now? You go find your mother," Hermione indicated to the kitchen where Molly had disappeared to a few moments earlier, "and try not to let her hate me. I do still enjoy spending time here I just don't intend to marry into the Weasley clan."
"I don't know about that," Harry quipped, "some of the other brothers are looking at you with interest. I don't think George or Charlie have taken their eyes off you since you told off Molly."
Hermione winced and then shrugged. What's done was done and it felt good to get it out in the open. She noticed that Ginny was sending her daggers but ignored the younger girl. What she had said about Ginny was true, she was a gold-digging attention seeker. Harry would be well rid of the loose legged slut.
"I shouldn't have..." Hermione stopped as Harry raised his own tanned hand in protest.
"I know I've thought it too and I can only be glad you said it first."
"Really?"
"Really. I love you, Hermione I'm just scared of you."
Harry laughed as she mock punched him.
"And life goes on." Hermione told him, seeing the group rathering around Ron and seeing Luna cuddling up to his side. She hoped everything would be okay after this. Now that things were in the open and the sidekick was no longer 'getting' the girl.
