Authors Note: Well, hello, I won't lie and say this is my first fan fiction, 'cause it's not. But it is my first JTHM fan fiction. So HA! Basically, I'm hoping to have a weird crossover thingy that won't really make any sense and will probably be badly written, since that's the kind of person I am. Anyways, On to this…THINGY!

"Well, what do I say?" Johnny sat across from a man with a long beard and a pointed hat.

"I would hope you would say yes."

"I can't very well give up my life, you realize?"

"Well, we need someone like you here. We need you to keep the students in line."

Stop pretending you don't want to, Nny. Said Mr. Eff

But, how would I continue the killings? How would I keep Squee safe? How would I keep the wall wet? Johnny replied.

The beast will contain itself. Don't worry. Never worry, you know I'm your friend. You know I will protect you.

"Fine. I'm in. What will I do?"

Well, we have been having a problem with a man named Voldemort. Not to mention some of the students are trying to let him gain access, which is something we can't have. Also, if you are willing, I would like it very much if you could teach some of the students self-defense."

"Umm, Dumbly-whatever, I'm not defensive, I'm offensive." Said Johnny, not exactly realizing what he said.

"But, you could teach them how to handle themselves without wands. Which is something they, unfortunately, need."

"Oh. Well, will I teach them on a dummy? Or can I use live people?"

"I think that a dummy would be best." Dumbledore winced at the thought of all of his students going insane from watching too many of Johnny's murders.

"How will I get here?"

"I will find you when it is time. Expect me in two weeks or so."

"Okie-dokie," with that Johnny the Homicidal Maniac walked out of the door and wandered the halls of Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

A/N: Okay, first chapter, I don't really expect very many reviews considering no one EVER reviews my suck-ish stuff. But I will give you a Squee plushy if you do! -!