Life Lessons with the Marauders

Lesson 10: How to Buy Clothes in America

"I cannot believe we are in the States," Remus said in awe. The marauders were walking around a mall in the U.S.A. Remus was visiting his family and brought the gang along. Not only were they amused by the idea of being on another continent, but they were also flabbergasted with the strange muggle items. They were unconsciously embarrassing themselves.

James picked up a lamp and stared at it curiously. "It must be a hat hanger," he concluded. Sirius nodded in agreement. He took the lampshade off of the lamp and put it on his head.

"I'M BUYING IT!!!!!!!" Sirius informed them loudly. He walked up to the counter and fumbled with the American money. He grinned like a Cheshire cat who ate the canary (A/N yeah I know, I'm crazy cool with my freakin' sweet metaphors yay finals) while wearing his 'new hat'. This resorted in the oddest of stares.

Remus scowled at a little boy who gave them a stare that clearly said 'why did you sleep with my mother (A/N go back and reread Lesson 3: How to be Random. This kid did. See his fate?) No really, he was looking at them because of the dumb-ass wearing the lamp on his head. James huffed, "We don't fit in, we need American clothes." He steered them into a store where a lot of people were heading into.

They scanned the racks until they were satisfied with an entire outfit each. They bought their clothes and changed in the nearest stalls. There was only so many stalls, so Sirius and Peter shared one. Peter ended up, accidentally, getting to second base; but that is yet another story.(A/N beg me and maybe one day I'll tell you.)

When they all were dressed, they left the changing area in a line. Que crazy- awesome music that they can all 'strut their stuff' (and I quote Sirius) to and cool feminine announcer who states what the marauders are modeling

Remus was sporting a pair of rainbow parachute pants with emo chains. His shirt portrayed Homer Simpson eating a doughnut. On his head, a red bandana was folded to hold up his sexy Eagles hat, in which was popped side-ways and elevated inches or two off of his head.

Sirius happily showed off a pair of jeans that were down to his knees revealing his naked lady boxers. His shirt was stating on the front "Fuck you all very much" and on the back "…and your mother twice." (A/N nonjon you are my hero, this is yours (bad disclaimer)). His lampshade completed his complex outfit.

Peter was wearing, very emo, women's jeans. He bought them because 'they kept everything in place'. His shirt read "OMG Shoes" and shiny red elevator shoes.

James was in fishnet stockings, booty shorts, a top hat, a bubble tape shawl, slippers that meowed when you walked, and lucky for him… under armor. Yea……. Idk. . . . don't ask me…. This was all him. (sugar high on tasty cakes).

WELL!!! They all die….. But that is to be revealed later…. In the sequel….

Moral of the Story: Think about if wizards had sex…. Would they shoot magic into the air during an orgasm… like sparks? Te he 3 (special thanks to sammii)

Fin

(A/N READ THE EFFING SEQUEL!!!!!! Thanks spsiri and prevs)