Dear Diary,

I found a letter the other day. It was written by my friend Molly, and it was written from the point of view of a woman who has no idea whats going on. The woman in this letter was confused and frightened by her mixed feelings for one of her friends. I knew Molly had been trying to write differently and I knew that in all likelihood that this was just a new style she was trying out. Names were different of course but I couldn't help seeing….well….little bit of me in the woman she was talking about.

'Life is confusing.'

That was my first thought as I looked at her letter. The second was 'She's just writing as a character.' Closely followed by 'I'm not mentioning the parallels out loud, making an idiot of myself and endangering my friendship with her. She'd probably freak out and think I have brain damage or something.'

Then came the behaviour afterward. The look on her face when I said I'd read it was a mixture of terror and fear. It was the fear that got me. I think she might have been afraid that I would shun her for writing about her feelings. (At that point I didn't even know if they were her feelings or she'd just tried out a different writing style, in fact I'm kinda still unsure) so I was careful not to mention anything about the actual things discussed in the letter, I didn't care of course but I didn't want her to think that I was judging her in anyway.

We walked and talked together for a while and I could see her carefully considering each sentence before it came out. She'd never been this guarded before and to be honest it hurt a bit, but I totally got it. I think it sort of clicked then, well at least I think it clicked. Or I could be a narcissistic nut for even assuming that.

It wasn't until later that night that we sort of began to understand each other, or her to finally understand that I wasn't going to push her away. There has never actually been a definitive confirmation of what exactly she meant, but I think I know. Emphasis on think. I still think that the whole 'I'm a just a narcissistic nut' theory is still quite viable.

When I saw her face to face again we hugged. It was that kind of hug that sort of says it all. It was hug of 'No I'm still your friend and don't worry' from me and 'thank god thank god' on her part. I still have no idea whether she was just experimenting with writing out new things or if she actually meant it.

She had a minor heart attack when Irene said something coincidental and she thought that Irene had read the letter. But I'm not showing Irene that. I don't think she'd understand and she'd definitely act differently towards her, so Irene is not getting her hands on that letter, unless for some reason Molly gives her the key. I don't think she will though.

We've been sort of dancing around it since and I really don't know where we stand. But I do know one thing for sure. I'm her friend and either way it stays that way.

Goodnight diary,

-Mary Morstan.