Running To The Future

Roxanna Macmillan splashed some cold water on to her face before gripping the rim of the porcelain sink and tried to steady her hand, as she started back at her reflection in the bathroom mirror.

"One last time." She whispered to herself. "One last time."

She sighed before grabbing a few paper towels from the holder, drying her face as she tried to regain her composure. The bathroom door opened, a younger woman walking in, offering a smile before she went in to one of the bathroom stalls. Roxanna took a deep breath before she made her way back out in to the busy restaurant and over to the table she was sharing with her dinner companion. She took a seat as the occupant of the other chair looked over to her, observing her appearance.

"Is everything al-right?"

"Fine, just fine."

"You look like you've been crying?"

"Not at all, I'm just tired. It's been a long day."

"We can always leave if you wish?"

"Don't be silly, I'll be okay. Anyway, this is your night."

"I've upset you with my news."

Henrik Hanssen reached over the table to cover Roxanna's hand, closing her eyes briefly when she felt his touch.

"It's just a shock, I didn't think you'd ever leave Holby that's all."

"Yes well, if I'm honest, neither did I but…this was just an opportunity I couldn't resist."

"Tell me about it?"

"Well it's one of the best teaching hospitals in America, it's a very healthy salary and it still allows me to perform surgery when necessary. I just think that after everything that happened with Fredrick and then John, well, this last year or so hasn't been the best, for anyone and I think it's time for a change."

"Well I certainly don't blame you for wanting to leave."

"Come with me." Henrik asked, suddenly.

"What?"

"Come with me Roxanna, come to Baltimore with me."

Roxanna just stared him down for what felt like hours before she felt him take her hand again.

"Henrik I…"

"You nearly died because of John, you had a long recovery. Perhaps you could use a fresh start too."

"Henrik my work is here, my life."

"Your work is your life, just like it has been mine and perhaps that's what needs to change, for both of us. This job allows me to come and go as I please, work far less than I do now."

"That's fair enough Henrik, but what about me. Johns Hopkins haven't offered me a job, I can't just pack up to another country without any job prospects?"

"You are one of the best neurosurgeon's there is, you will have no problems getting another position."

"It's all very well to say that Henrik, you have a job to go too?"

"You don't even have to work if you don't want too."

"You mean allow you to support me, no. That's not who I am."

"You will get a job, they're screaming out for doctors over there."

"I can't, I'm sorry, I just can't."

"Very well, but the offer is there is you change you mind."

Roxanna saw the disappointment in his eyes when she said no, taking a drink from her wine glass, wanting nothing more than to go home.

And the things that I've been put through.
And everything I've done
The battles that I've lost And Won
Tho there's no changing what is in the past.
The rest is mine to live at last
So I take this chance on you

So I'm running to the future
If this dream survives
I'm running along besides you
to the best years of our lives
And it's calling me.
Yes it's calling me...
to you...

So I'm running to the future
I hope we will be strong
I'm running along besides you cause I know that's
where

I belong

The two weeks that had followed had been somewhat uncomfortable, Henrik trying another few times to convince her but still she wouldn't back down. Henrik had completed his last shift the night before, everyone meeting for drinks in Albi's to say farewell to their friend before he began his new journey. Roxanna went for a few hours, but couldn't cope with the thought of never seeing him again and said goodbye to him, before being interrupted by Dom who had taken her friend away to open some gifts. The last thing she saw was a pleading look on his face as he was taken away from her. Walking in to AAU the following morning, she knocked lightly on Serena Campbell's door before walking in to see the older woman with her head in her hands.

"Late night?" Roxanna asked.

"Ahhhh, Roxanna….good morning. Well yes, I perhaps did have a little too much to drink. When will I learn?" She laughed.

Serena looked up to see the sadness in Roxanna's eyes as the other woman placed some files on her desk for her.

"I forgot to drop of these patient reports yesterday before I left, my apologies."

"It's perfectly fine, are you al-right?"

"Mm-mm, yes….why do you ask?"

"I think you know why. You left rather early last night?"

"Well, Henrik was a little busy with his goodbyes, I didn't want to get in the way."

"Get in the way, don't be silly."

"Quite."

"How are you feeling, with Henrik going?"

"John Hopkins is a good opportunity, he'd be a fool to pass it up."

Serena looked up at her, a faint smile on her face before she spoke.

"Sit down Roxanna."

"I have a meeting with Abi…"

"Abigail can wait, sit."

Hearing Serena's tone, she did as she asked and took a seat, Serena coming over and sitting beside her.

"I'm going to ask you something and I want you to be honest with me."

"Serena I…"

"I know we don't know one another that well, and we should change that, but right now, I want you to tell me how you feel."

"Feel?"

"How you're really feeling about him leaving."

"I already told you."

"Yes but what you said and what your face is saying are two completely different things."

Roxanna looked down at her hands, closing her eyes as she sighed.

"I'll miss him, of course I will but, I can't make him stay."

"So go with him, it's what he wants."

"How do you…."

"We had a chat last night at Albi's, he told me what he'd asked you and how disappointed her was when you said no."

"Serena, he's asking so much of me."

"Is he really? Roxanna the only thing you're giving up is this place, it will survive without you. Holby isn't our whole lives, meeting Bernie taught me that."

"I'm just…I don't know."

"You scared, and I get that. You've been through a lot, you both have."

They remained quiet for a few moments before Roxanna felt Serena place her hand on her arm.

"Answer me this truthfully, do you love him?"

"What?"

"Henrik, do you love him. Can you truly live without him."

"He's been my best friend for so long, of course I can't imagine not seeing him every day."

"But…do you love him?"

Roxanna swallowed hard, tears in her eyes as she looked up at Serena, who had nothing but sympathy on her face.

"Y…yes, I love him."

"Then why the hell are you still here talking to me, go to him."

"I can't just walk out."

"Email Abigail, go home and pack what you need for now, and go to him." Serena encouraged.

Roxanna wiped her eyes before getting to her feet, straightening down her skirt before she made her way to the door, turning back quickly.

"I don't even know what flight or airport he…"

"Bristol Airport, 2pm. You have time, go on."

Roxanna smiled, before quickly hugging Serena.

"Thank you, I wish we had gotten to know one another better."

"Well I'm sure it's an open invitation to come and visit?"

"Of course it is."

"Go, and good luck."

Roxanna nodded before she left the office, the door closing behind her. Serena making her way back to her desk, taking out her phone and dialling one on her speed dial.

"Bernie, hi…it's good to hear your voice." She smiled.

I was tired and I was hurting
But you helped me to my feet
But Made my broken heart Complete
I Know there will be hills for us to climb
So Come And put your hand In Mine
And let me walk this life
with you
So I'm running to the future
If this dreams serves
I'm running along besides you
to the best days of our lives
And It's calling me
Yeah it's calling me
...

Roxanna sat in the back of the taxi as they drive through Bristol, feeling anxious as the taxi pulled up outside the airport. She paid the driver before taking her luggage and making her way inside. The airport was busy, so many people and Roxanna began to wonder if perhaps she'd left it too late. She went to buy a ticket and check in her bags, still not seeing Henrik anywhere. She sat waiting before she heard the tannoy telling her that she was to make her way to the terminal. Still looking around she was yet to spot him. She had just turned the corner, when she saw the familiar face still sitting on the chair until the queue for boarding went down. She took a deep breath before making her way over to him, coming to stand in front of him as he read his paper.

"Henrik?"

Henrik looked up when he heard the familiar voice, seeing a warm smile on her face.

"Roxanna?"

Getting to his feet, he looked at her to see she had a carry on in her hand.

"What's this?" He asked.

Roxanna took his hand, taking him aside from everyone, before she placed her bag on the floor and looked up at him, taking his hand again.

"I've been a fool, I'm so sorry I left the way I did last night."

"You don't have to explain I…"

"I was scared, scared of losing you, of change. No matter what has happened in out lives, in my life, you've always been there without question and I don't always say it but, it means so much to me. You know you're more to me than my best friend. When you asked me to come with you, I panicked. I felt like I was betraying David and I…I know that sounds silly but…"

"No, it's not silly. I do understand."

"I know you do, I love you Henrik and I should have told you that the night you first asked me to come with you, perhaps even sooner than that. I'm not going to lie to you, I'm scared. I have no job to go too, I don't know what will become of me."

"We'll be together, and that's all that matters. I know you need to work and you will get a job. You're one of the most qualified neurosurgeon's out there, it may take a little time but until then, as I said, you don't have to worry, we're a partnership now, what's mine is yours."

"So we're really doing this?" She asked nervously.

Henrik took a step closer, his arms going around her waist, pulling her in to him before he leaned in and kissed her. Roxanna melted in to the kiss, her arms going around his neck before hugging him.

"We're really doing this my love." He smiled.

"Sir, Madam…we're just waiting for you." The airport assistant smiled.

"We're coming." Roxanna replied.

She took Henrik's hand, while he picked up her bag for her, walking hand in hand as they made their way to the plane.

So I'm running to the future
I Know we will be strong
I'm running along besides you
Cause that's where I belong
And it's calling me...
Yes it's calling me.
to you...
It's calling me...
to you...

Serena was just putting on her jacket when her office door opened, Abigail Tate walking in with a confused look on her face.

"Ahhh, Abigail what can I do for you?"

"I've just received Roxanna MacMillan's resignation, effective immediately."

"Oh really."

"It doesn't really explain why, it just said at the end, ask Serena? So, Serena…I'm asking?"

"Tell you what, why don't we go over to Albi's and I'll buy us a nice bottle or two of Shiraz and I'll explain everything, deal?"

"Deal."

-Fin