Title: No More Need to Pretend

Pairing: Julia X General Caraway

Warnings: Mushiness and OOC-ness

Disclaimer: I don't own anything so please don't sue me.

Author's notes: See bottom of page

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"Julia…"

"Richard. I need to talk to you." She waited until General Caraway finally gave her his full attention.

"Any news about him yet?"

"I'm afraid not. I'm sorry," he gave her an apologetic smile and got up to pull a chair in his office for her to sit on. She sat down shakily. Although she got the same answer every week, her heart still wavered and yet her hope never died.

Richard pulled another chair to sit beside her and to look at her intently. "This thing happens a lot in the army and well… it's been 4 months since Loire's troops disappeared." He stopped when he saw Julia's gloomy face. "Don't worry, we're doing everything we can."

"I know," she sighed aloud.

Richard looked at the wall clock on his office and noticed that it was thirty minutes till five o'clock. He finished his job earlier than usual that day and Julia looked so… she always had that happy demeanor that it broke his heart to see her so sad.

"I'll treat you out for a cup of hot chocolate and strawberry flavored donuts… what do you say?" he said with a small grin, as an attempt to lighten up her mood.

"Sounds good to me…" she forced the words out of her mouth. If it had been any other day, she would have dragged him to the café almost immediately. But she hadn't been her usual self lately. Her favorite snacks were the things she least thought about.

"Ok." The general called his secretary to tell her that he was leaving. He quickly fixed his things then stood in front of Julia to offer her his right hand. She took it quietly and the two of them walked outside his office. The moment they were on the 'outside world', Richard realized that she was once again forced to wear her mask. She smiled at everyone who greeted her; waved to some of the rookie soldiers who were too shy to say hello. They walked casually, as if nothing was wrong. He hated to see her like this. Ever since she became a social icon she forced herself to become some sort of doll. She became a doll that looked happy and perfect to everyone around her.

They took an uncommon route to go to the café. They passed by the bridge on the side of the big Arc of Deling. Because of Julia's growing popularity, they had to avoid attention as much as they could. They walked in silence as they both watched the sun set in the horizon.

Richard had already seen countless of beautiful sunsets in countless of places but in his heart, he knew that they could never match the beauty of the woman beside him for she was the perfect art of nature. But as he looked at her at that moment, he felt his heart fall like the setting sun. His perfect art of nature was losing her divine light. All because of that… that… man.

Julia turned around to look at Richard when she realized that he had stopped in his tracks and was already behind her.

"What's wrong?" she asked with a small quirk of her brow. She saw his eyes close momentarily and his hands form a fist.

"You can't go on like this Julia… You just can't." There was a small tinge of anger in his voice.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't take it anymore. It hurts me so much to see you sad. You have not been the Julia Heartily I used to know and it's wounding me."

Julia was surprised. She never expected this to come from her childhood friend. She had never seen him like this. "I'm sorry… I guess popularity is getting into my head…"

"No, that's not what I meant." Richard went to the bridge's edge and leaned on the railing. "Why can't you just forget him?"

Julia had a baffled expression in her face. "Richard… what are you saying?" she went beside him and lightly tugged on his arm for him to face her.

"Julia. I'm tired of giving you optimistic comments. I'm tired of keeping your hopes up. Lt. Loire has been gone for four months. Why can't you just forget about him? Why can't you just go on with your life and be your usual happy self?" he hated to be this blunt to her but he had to get it off his chest.

"Well I'm sorry oh great General Caraway. I thought you were my friend, and I thought you'd understand. I'm sorry that I never realized that you were tired of me asking questions about Laguna's whereabouts." Richard could see tears forming in the edge of her eyes. "And for your information. I am happy."

"Stop lying Julia. You can fool everyone else but you can never fool me." He reached out in an attempt to wipe her tears but she moved back as if repelled by his touch. "Why does Loire have this much impact on you?"

"If you understand me so much then why can't you see that … that Laguna Loire is important to me and I need him back in my life!" pools of tears finally escaped her eyes and she angrily wiped them away.

Richard was taken aback. He was a man in love as he was her friend. He already knew that she was feeling this way but it made a big difference when she finally told him out loud. "But Julia… Laguna might be dead for all we know." He was stopped short when his cheek received an angry slap from Julia's hands. Julia expected him to keep quiet or even walk away but he didn't.

"Julia, why can't you just stop looking at him and see the other people around you who care for you…There are other people out there dying for you to notice them and make them part of your life, people who want to make you go on with your life… Damn it Julia… why can't you just see me?"

Confusion clouded her mind and she didn't know what to say. "You're my best friend Richard… Or at least I thought you were. Laguna's my first love. You'll never understand. You've never been in love."

"Ha! You're wrong." Richard took her shoulders in his hands and gazed into her eyes, making her want to see the windows of his soul. "I love you Julia. I always have. I swore to be the best for you because you're everything to me."

Julia suddenly broke away from his grasp as more tears fell from her face. "I never asked you to love me, or be the best for me. Don't blame it on Laguna if I could only see him."

"Please Julia… for your own good. Forget about Laguna Loire. He might never come back. I'll help you forget. I'll give you love that's more than what Loire could ever give you."

"Stop it Richard! You don't know what you're saying." She angrily pounded on his chest and he let her if it would help ease her pain.

"Shh… it's all right." He stroked her hair affectionately as he felt her sob in his chest.

"It's not… Forget it Richard. I'll even forget this whole thing ever happened."

"But I can never forget my love for you Julia… I tried… so hard…when I realized you were in love with someone else. But he might not even exist anymore. Why can't you just think about us?"

She strongly pushed him away, "There was never an 'us' and there never will be. Laguna's alive and I will find him."

"Stop being so stubborn Julia." He turned his back to her and touched his head in frustration.

"Good bye Richard." She finally wiped away her tears and walked away. Just then, Richard realized how stupidly he had acted and turned around to apologize to her.

And before he could even say his apologies, she was already gone. And she might have walked out of his life forever.

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Author's Notes:

Ok. This is a reposted fic. I took it out before when I realized how much it sucked. ( edit needed improvement /edit ) Uh…inconsistencies are as follows

1 – Salt lake is not full of snow… yes… Snowy part Trabia. The white stuff got me confused. So uh… let's just pretend that the white stuff in Salt lake is cold ok?

2 – General Caraway and Julia only met when they got older, when Julia was looking for the missing Laguna. But um… hey, it's a fic!

3 – General Caraway is… well… his character wasn't that developed anyway so I decided to make him a semi-wuss in this fic.

Also, the name "Richard" was not first used by me. Soul Hunter first (or at least that's where I got it from) used it in the (CarawayXJulia) fic "To Love Again". And again I want to thank Soul Hunter for giving me permission to use the name on my fic! Thanks a bunch!

I also want to thank those people who reviewed my fic when it was first posted some time ago. I hope you guys read it again and see the improvements (yes, I hope it improved!) and the new ending hint hint. I'm sorry I can't remember you guys right now but you know who you are! Thank you!