I remember the night we met. You in your bloody military coat, me in my favourite blue dress. I'd been out to a party that night; I can't remember whose party it was though. It was late, I was drunk. I didn't normally get drunk; it was a new experience for me. I wasn't sure whether I liked it. I was stumbling home in my heels. I don't know why I'd chosen to wear those heels. You know the ones, the bright red ones with ribbon coming off them that ties round your ankles. They were almost impossible to walk in, especially if you were drunk. You dashed past me, your coat flying out behind you; I thought you were a God. It wasn't until later that I realised you were the Devil in disguise. You shoved me out the way as you sprinted past and I slammed into a wall. You stopped. I thought you would have kept running but you didn't. You turned and walked over to me. I was clutching my right arm, trying not to let the pain show, that's what I'd learnt from a young age. If I let the pain show, I was more likely to be hit. My bastard of a father, I loathed him. I had to live with him though, I had nowhere else to go, nobody else to turn to. I was completely alone in the world, not a friend in sight. I wasn't considered beautiful when I was at school but I was considered a little pretty. I think that had something to do with my Spanish roots. I cowered away from you as you came towards me, wincing as my arm throbbed mercilessly.
"I'm sorry gorgeous, I didn't mean to hurt you." You drawled in your sexy American accent.
"I'm fine, I'm not hurt." I said shakily, hiding my face from you so you couldn't see the tears.
"You're an awful liar gorgeous."
Looking back now, I realise that I was an awful liar but as I sunk deeper into the darkness of Torchwood the lies came easier, they could just appear in my head and I felt no guilt as I told them.
You spun me round so I was facing you. You held my arm carefully and I let out a gasp of pain as you applied pressure to it.
"You need to get that fixed." You told me.
"I don't even know your name."
"Captain Jack Harkness. What's yours?"
"Suzie Costello."
"Well then Suzie, let's go and get you fixed up."
You took me to the hospital and you waited with me whilst I got my arm sorted, after that you took me for a drink in a little bar near the Millennium Centre. That was when you asked me. You asked me to join you; you said that I'd be a great addition to the team. I was young and naïve and I was looking for adventure so without a second thought I said yes.
I remember you telling me that I shouldn't let myself sink into the darkness but then I realised that I didn't have anything else to live for. No family, I had disowned myself from my father a while ago. No friends, not really anyway. Ianto took pity on me because I looked as broken as he felt. Tosh didn't like me because I was already starting to let myself get dragged in by the darkness and it was only my third week. Owen only put up with me because we used each other for sex. Then there was you. The mysterious Captain Jack, with your big military coat and your ancient whisky that you kept in a cupboard in your office. The man who let himself sink deeper and deeper into the darkness, the man who started to become a little more inhumane every time the darkness got to him. I watched as you became darker and you watched as I became a little more insane. There were days when you would be so dark and I would be so insane and we would be perfect together. Our lips crashing together furiously as you pushed me against your desk, then there were other days where we pretended that we were perfect and that we were normal. We pretended that everything was fine and that you weren't absorbed by the darkness and that I wasn't insane. We'd lie our way through the day and it always resulted in us ending up at my flat, lying in my bed, panting and covered in sweat. The days that we didn't lie were the days that hurt the most. The days where our emotions were so raw. The days where we at our worst, the days where we were both on the same page, on the same line. The days where we were both psychotic.
