He eyed himself in the mirror. It had been a month since the wedding, his face showing the miserable effects that it had had on him. His eyes were sunken and dark, their blue-green orbs cased in a film of murky white. Each one was red, the veins spiraling outwards to the edges like a spider web. The bags under his eyes showed the lack of sleep, their dark circles making him look like one of the dead. He had forgone shaving for the entire month as well, his beard full and dark. It formed to his face well, giving him a darker and more mysterious look. All he wanted to do was be left alone, allowed to hold himself up in loft to wallow away in his misery.

Each passing day he slept in the barn, unwilling to go back into the house. He entered the yellow dwelling only to eat and shower, but as usual he said little, worrying his mother to no end. She was occupied often though, her job keeping her busy as she spent most of her time in the state capital. He didn't blame her; he knew that it was best that she stay away from him, especially since he had let a little piece of himself die.

Leaning on the sink, he continued to stare into the mirror. His hair was longer than usual, having decided not to cut it. There was no more Clark Kent, his visage having turned around, now looking like a drifter from the wilderness. His wardrobe had not changed, but rarely did he go anywhere without a plaid shirt. In the past he had taken to wearing just a t-shirt, but since that dreaded day he had decided to put another layer on, masking whatever pain others might see in him.

He knew for a fact that the people around him were worried, but it surprised him that no one took the initiative to help him. After all the times he had saved their lives, all the times he had brought them back from the icy grips of death, they ignored him. In a way he was bitter, but in the back of his mind he knew they now feared him. They didn't say so, but the look on their faces showed their true feelings. Having special abilities allowed for him to observe others differently, picking up on their fears and their emotions more keenly than any other could. With the simple use of his hearing he could pick up subtle notes in their voices and the tiniest of speed changes in their heartbeats. It all allowed him to observe and read them with pinpoint precision.

It surprised him though; at how much more aware he was when he wasn't concerned about saving the world and helping keep his friends out of danger. He couldn't recall how many times Chloe had called from the Daily Planet begging him, no, pleading to him to come and help her with a particular story. Each time he had said no thanks and hung up, not wanting to talk any further. It was another little thing that kept him isolated in the loft. He didn't want any disturbances. All he wanted to do was do his chores and sit in the couch, thinking, brooding, and getting pulled into the past. All his fondest memories lied their, in a time where his father was alive, his best friend was Lex, and some of his biggest worries were whether or not he could pass his exams.

That had all changed though, his graduation from high school signaling the beginning of his journey into darkness. First it was the meteor shower, then Dark Thursday. Each event hung over his head like an anvil waiting to strike. He let the guilt tear him to pieces at night, his heart breaking at the screams of children in the distance. Each time he felt the guilt take hold, he would attune his memories back to the sirens, the incredible torture of death and mayhem. He may have been in the Phantom Zone during Dark Thursday, but he had been there for the aftermath. Most people outside the city didn't know, didn't understand, just how devastating it had been. He saw every facet of what had happened. So many dead, so many unaccounted for.

As the months had passed by, he had let the pain slowly disappear, much as a rain puddle would if the sun beat down on it. Things had been getting back to normal, but then the wedding day came closer. The closer it came, the more he could feel the pain of the past creeping up on him, eating away at his mind in his dreams. There was no block for it. It had no restrictions; it haunted him day and night, dragging him into the darkness he was now completely immersed in.

He could push away the memories, but each one of them involved Lana somehow, and in the end that is what brought him over the edge. His rocky and most times turbulent relationship with his former next door neighbor was always the deciding factor in his life. She wanted so much from him, everything he had to offer, but he kept one thing back, never trusting her with the truth. Looking back at it he knew it was his fault she had ended up with Lex. He had pushed her away with all his secrets and lies, never allowing her to become privy to what only a few others knew. She had even given him a chance before the day of the wedding to come clean, but he had lied yet again. Each time he looked back, he regretted it. He didn't know why he didn't finally tell her the truth that night, but each time she pleaded, her tears falling down her porcelain skin, he shook his head and lied.

When he had stood at the back of the church watching the ceremony for the wedding, Lana in her long white dress, and Lex in a perfect tuxedo, he had told himself he was doing the right thing. He was so sure of himself, knowing full well that she was having his former friend's child. There was no way he would be part of breaking up what could be a healthy family.

But maybe the biggest thing that had changed since that day was the fact that he had gave up on using his abilities. No more did he speed through his chores in a heartbeat, nor did he even speed to Metropolis, no, he had given it all up. His strength was the only thing he couldn't put a mental clamp on, but he still consciously tried not to use it. It was hard, for he usually put no thought to it when he was alone.

Stepping back from the mirror, he did up the buttons on his shirt and looked himself over in the mirror for the last time. He had to go into town for groceries, his mother having made a list before she had left a few days ago. It had been almost three weeks since he had been off the farm, and for some reason he was incredibly nervous. It more than likely had to do with the fact that he had to go to the talon to buy a specific coffee ground. The chances of running into Chloe or Lois had his heart racing a mile a minute. He hadn't seen Lois in almost a month, but that wasn't abnormal. She had a tendency to drop off for a while before showing up unexpectedly. Chloe on the other hand had given up on him roughly two weeks ago, and now she just kept away. He knew that probably made Jimmy happy, the young man not entirely comfortable with his and Chloe's friendship. That was over now though.

Opening the door to the bathroom, he bounded down the stairs slowly, dropping his feet heavily on each step. Any kind of joy that had once been in him was now completely gone. He couldn't remember the last time he smiled, but it seemed like ages ago. Getting to the door, he slipped on his boots and patted his back pocket to make sure he had his wallet on him. The screen door screeched loudly as he pushed it open and walked out to the truck. The day was cool, but the sun was shining brightly. Taking a deep breath, he got into the vehicle and started the engine.

It had taken only a few minutes to get into town, the sign reading Smallville mocking him as he drove in. He had decided to go to the Talon first. It was nine in the morning on a Saturday, and he was pretty sure neither Lois nor Chloe woke up that early on a weekend. Parking the truck in front on the street, he turned it off and stepped out. He rolled up the sleeves of his plaid shirt as he stepped up onto the sidewalk and opened the door for a young woman who was just about to enter. Even in his depressed and sunken mood he still had some common sense left. The woman said thank you, but he didn't acknowledge her.

The talon looked like it usually did as he entered. It seemed more natural, unlike the last time he had been here. This was where the dreaded Valentines Day fun had begun over a month ago. Both he and Lois had gotten over it pretty quickly. She couldn't remember anything, and he had had Lana on his mind a day later. That day the place had been decked out in hearts and streamers, celebrating a silly holiday created by nothing but money hungry corporations. He made a mental note to boycott it from this day forward.

He sighed, relaxing his tense back as he saw neither Lois nor Chloe anywhere nearby. Walking up to the counter he passed a few people. He nodded as a couple of them raised their hands in greeting. Reaching the counter, he pulled out his wallet and indicated to the girl behind the counter which tin can of grounds he wanted. Paying in cash, he grabbed the can from her outstretched hands as he put his wallet back in his pocket. "Thank you." He said politely. Turning around, he bumped into someone.

"Hey, watch where you're going." A woman said annoyingly.

"Sorry Lois." Clark said, brushing past her without stopping. He didn't need to be bothering her, and she seemed grumpier than usual. He couldn't blame her, either she had woken up too early or hadn't gone to bed yet. Either one was a potential disaster.

"You better be." She said in a gruff tone, not bothering to look at the person who had run into her. "Coffee, Jane." She said with a tired tone, looking at the young girl behind the counter.

"Sure thing, Lois." Jane replied in a cheery tone. "You look almost as bad as you friend Clark." She stated, turning and pouring a cup full of black coffee.

Lois frowned. "Clark? I haven't seen him in a long time. When did you see him?"

Jane finished filling up the cup and handed turned around with a confused stare. "Just now."

"Really?"

"Yes, you just bumped into him."

"What!" Lois said in surprise. She turned around from the counter to see a tall figure walk out the door. She could recognize that plaid from anywhere. "How in the world did I not see him?" She asked aimlessly, walking towards the door. It had almost been a month since she had talked to him, and Chloe had said he wasn't doing so well. "Keep my coffee warm." She said to Jane as she was halfway out the door.

Pushing her way out and onto the sidewalk, she saw Clark opening the passenger door to the truck and slipping something inside. Only his back was visible as she called out his name. "Smallville!" She smiled to herself as she walked towards him. A quick jibe was about to escape her lips when she saw him turn around to look at her. What she saw almost caused her to trip over her own feet and fall to the concrete sidewalk. He sported a thick beard, something that made him look completely unrecognizable. His eyes had dark rings under them, as if he had been deprived weeks of sleep. He was hunched a little, his sleeve rolled up on his forearms. "God, you look like hell." She let out finally, getting closer to him.

Clark dropped the tin can on the seat and closed the door loudly. "So do you." He replied, looking right at her as she came closer.

"Well, after a night of partying and hard drinking, I do tend to get a little unshelled." She said with a smirk, squeezing behind him, and looking at herself in the side mirror. Her hand tussled out a few knots in her loose hair as she stared at the dark circles under eyes. "You're right, I look horrible."

Clark folded his arms across his chest as he leaned up against the passenger door. "I haven't seen you for a while Lois, what have you been up to." He didn't bother to look at her, his gaze lingering on the sign above the entrance.

"Not much." She replied, standing straight once again after she had finally gotten her hair somewhat presentable.

"Still plugging away for The Inquisitor?" He asked, finally looking at her as she turned to him.

"Yeah." Lois responded lethargically.

Clark could tell she was hiding something. "You don't sound too enthused about it."

Lois shrugged and leaned against the truck beside him. "I guess you could say that." When he didn't ask why, he took upon herself to tell him. "Ever since I've stopped turning in articles about the Green Arrow, they've been hounding me. I'd hate to be known simply for one thing. You know what I mean?" She asked.

"I think so." Clark replied. Silence overcame them as they both stared forward.

She gazed over to him as he continued to lean against the door. He looked lost, his eyes glazed and confused. "You okay?" She asked a second later.

"I'm fine." He replied sourly, not impressed with her question. He was fed up with people asking him that.

His tone certainly wasn't one of sincerity. She frowned as she watched him step from the door and go around to the other side of the vehicle. "Care for a cup of coffee?" She asked hurriedly.

He lifted his head at her question and peered at her over the truck. "Why?"

Why? She asked herself. Was he that far removed from being civil? "You look like you could use one. Plus, I haven't seen you in almost a month. I want to know everything you've been up to." She smirked at him.

Clark sighed and shut the door. "Okay, I'll bite, but I'm telling you now, I'm not really in the talking mood." He came around and walked with her back into the Talon.

Lois got back to the counter and sat down, grabbing her coffee and inhaling it. Her world suddenly brightened as she savored the sweet smell. "Black for Clark." She said to Jane as she took a small sip.

The young girl looked at him and he nodded.

"Coming right up." The blond haired teenager said.

He sighed as he found the stool next to Lois and sat down, interlacing his hands together as he rested his arms on the counter.

Lois took another sip as she watched Clark nod to the young woman as she handed him his coffee. He seemed particularly pained. She had a pretty good idea what he was torturing himself about, but she didn't know all the details since she really didn't know him as well as her cousin did. He looked beaten up too, his shoulders slouched. She liked his beard though; it made him look much older. "How long have been growing that thing?" She asked.

Clark looked at her and sipped his drink. Setting it back on the counter he lifted his right hand and stroked his full beard. "Just over a month." He answered, giving her a strange look in return. "Why do you ask?"

Lois shrugged her shoulders as if it was no big deal. "It makes you look older." She said softly, taking another sip.

"I don't know," Clark began. "I've thought about getting rid of it, but not yet I think." He removed his hand from his face and back down to his cup. Lois seemed a little more caring than usual. He had expected her to make fun of it, but since it had come in full and not patchy, he figured she thought it wasn't a bad beard. "You should try growing one sometime." He said suddenly, letting his mind slip a second. Even her simple presence brought out some of his former self. It was weird; it was his first slip up.

"I don't think so, Smallville." She replied, drawing out his name sarcastically. "The day I grow a beard is the day you stop feeling sorry for yourself." She meant the words as a joke, but there was some truth to them. She knew he was blaming himself for Lana and Lex's marriage.

Clark turned his head slightly to her and glared. "What are you talking about?" He asked with a bitter tone. She seemed to be butting her nose into his affairs, and he didn't appreciate it. Then again, it was Lois; she did whatever she felt like.

"Nothing." She said quickly, trying to deflect her it away.

He eyed her as she purposely looked away from him. "That's what I thought." He said, taking a good gulp of his warm coffee.

"Oh!" Lois said with a surprised tone. "No what was that mister?" She turned to him suddenly. "Are you mocking me?"

The smirk on her face was almost as wide as her eyes. He couldn't tell if she was playing, or being serious, so he just kept quiet. Slowly but surely she took her gaze off him, allowing him to relax somewhat. Her eyes were always the hardest to look at. They conveyed so much emotion, as if she could make him feel small and stupid by just staring at him.

Lois finished her cup and smiled to herself. "I need a hand moving some furniture upstairs." She said suddenly, looking at him.

Clark raised an eyebrow at her. "So that's what this was all about. You buy me coffee and expect me to help you lug around furniture for you?"

She smirked and stood up. "Who ever said I was paying for your coffee." Her laugh cut through the air as she moved past him and towards the stairs. "When you're done paying, come up, the door's unlocked."

He watched as she jogged lightly up the stairs, her hair bouncing on her back. A smile crept onto his lips. Once again he found himself slipping, her playful nature wiggling its way behind his mask and affecting him. "Damn woman." He muttered.

"What was that?" Jane asked, looking over from the till.

"Nothing." Clark replied gruffly, fishing out a few dollars and putting them on the counter. "Keep the change." He said, slipping his wallet back in his pants and making for the stairs. As he was half way up he heard Jane call from behind the counter.

"Clark?"

"Yeah?" He asked, more than a little annoyed.

"Your beard looks great." She said it with a tight smile, her dimples showing.

He frowned down at her and continued his walk up the stairs. It baffled him; he had no idea what it was with women and facial hair. First, and most surprisingly, Lois had liked it, and now someone he knew very little had just commented on it. A thought that maybe she was hitting on him passed across his mind as he reached the top of the stairs and knocked, making his presence known. He walked into the apartment, not really worrying about getting acknowledged.

"What's the frown for?" Lois asked, her hands resting on her hips.

Clark ignored her question and walked to the bedroom where she was standing. "What is it with this beard? Does everyone like it?"

It was her turn to frown, her eyebrows sinking deeply towards her nose. "What?" She asked with a slight tilt of her head.

"Jane."

"What about Jane?" Lois asked with a devilish smile.

Clark snorted. "She said she liked my beard too."

"Isn't that nice?" Lois laughed, her hands falling off her yellow tank tee. "I'd say you have an underage admirer." She grinned even wider as she turned and walked towards the bed. "Now, how about a hand moving this old thing?" She asked.

He shook his head in wonder and followed her. "Where do you want it?" He asked, standing on one side to push while she was on the other side to pull.

Lois looked down at the bed with a determined stare. "About a foot my way." She said evenly, her head snapping back up to look at him, then smiling instantly.

Her grin was unsettling, and it signified there was something amiss. "A foot?" He asked in surprise. "You dragged me all the way up here to help you move your bed a foot to the right?"

"Yep." She responded, bending down to pull.

Clark stood tall though, not willing to bend down and push.

"Come on Smallville, I brought you up here for a reason." She exclaimed, looking up from her crouched position.

"And what reason is that?" He asked with a frown, his arms crossing at his chest instinctively.

"I lost a sock underneath and I can't reach it."

She was lying, he could see it. No matter how much her eyes had bothered and made him feel uncomfortable, they also told him everything he needed to know. "You're lying." He said, his frown deepening. He was in no mood to be planning games. "What's going on?" He asked gravely, making sure she picked up on his disapproving tone. When she fumbled for words, he looked around the bedroom. "Where's Chloe?" When she stared at him with her mouth open, unable to respond, he knew something sinister was up. Lois was never without words. He turned and went for the door. "I'm leaving." He said coldly, his stride large.

"No you're not." A voice said, sliding past him and closing the apartment door so that he couldn't get out.

It wasn't Lois, but in fact Chloe, her bright blond hair dancing around her shoulders as she came to a sliding halt. Clark stared at her with a bewildered look. "What? Chloe, I thought-." He turned suddenly to see Lois behind him, her smirk wider than he thought even remotely possible. Confused to no end, he looked back at Chloe. "What's going on?" He asked in a worried tone.

Chloe snapped the lock into place as she grabbed his sleeve and pulled him into the living room.

Clark's eyes went wide as he saw his mother and Lionel sitting in one couch. His mom was smiling wide, and the man beside her looked annoyed. "Mom, what are you doing here?" He asked, still completely confused. "Aren't you supposed to be working?"

"I know honey, but this is more important." She lost her smile as she watched Chloe let go of his arm and sit down in a chair.

He had no idea why he hadn't picked up their presence earlier, but he soon realized that it was because he hadn't been using his abilities. He cursed himself as he stood looking at the people sitting in front of him. "It's not my birthday." He said with a weird frown.

"No sweetie," Martha said softly. "this is your intervention of sorts."

His eyes bulged out in surprise as he looked around in front of him. All of them possessed hopeless expressions. Well, all of them except Lois, who had made her way over into the empty spot on the couch.

"Fooled you, didn't I?" Lois asked, laughing the whole time.

Clark groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. Why did he agree to help her move furniture?

END