A/N: I don't know how many people may be waiting for this but this is OFFICIALLY the sequel to 'Waiting For You'. Now I will WARN you, most of my stories have been pre-planned by me to go a certain flow. This story hasn't… it has a basis but no middle or ending so I'm going to be depending on you reviewers to decide the outcome after a certain point. :)

I'm mentioning this just to give people a heads up about when I'm going to update. The next Mass Release will be on November 21. What gets updated then is up to reviews and feedback! (Most likely 9-11 pm PST).


..

If It Makes You Happy

Rated: M

Summary: Everything is okay on the outside, but the turmoil of the heart may bring back one incident, two wounds and a thousand regrets. Packed with drama, revenge, jealously, angst and so much more.


Chapter 1: What Is Love?

4 Months since the end of 'Waiting For You'

"Hurry Syuusuke." Tezuka said as he walked briskly out the front of their apartment. Fuji on the other hand was busy straightening his shirt. He thought he knew what he wanted in life...that was until Ryoma re-entered his life and he discovered lingering attachments to Ryoma. Over the past four months since then, Fuji felt fickle as he wavered between his "love" for Tezuka and his serious attachment for Ryoma.

Grabbing a light jacket, Fuji headed down the hall to slip on his shoes and shut the door, it seemed Tezuka had already got in the car and started it.

Today he'd see Ryoma for the first time since four months ago at Ryoma's and Atobe's reception. Atobe's company was having a picnic at a local park today and they had invited all their employees and their families to enjoy the finest food with the Atobe's.

Getting into the car, Fuji slid an arm around Tezuka's arm but he ignored it as he drove as stoically as ever. Suppressing a sigh, Fuji stared out the window instead.

………………………………………………………………………………………..

Even if I wanted to forget now, the memory would never fade. The softest touch he gave to the smallest smile I received I cherished it all. Yet still, I didn't understand why I didn't choose him…was I blinded in the moment? Did I truly love Tezuka? Or was I blinded? Still I didn't know…even now I still didn't know.

The day our story started was far from this day…it started the day Tezuka left me to go professional. He didn't want people to talk about him, he wanted a clean cut…a cut that killed me and brought me…Ryoma.

(Flashback)

"I want to break up."

Fuji's eyes widened slightly as he processed the words Tezuka was telling him. Just a few minutes ago they had kissed passionately and just last night they were wrapped in each other's embrace…and now he wanted out?

"Why?" Fuji asked looking straight at Tezuka who didn't seem to falter at all.

"I'm going professional Syuusuke…I need to focus on my future."

"Are you saying I'm not a part of that future?" Fuji asked with opened eyes.

"You need to travel your own path." Tezuka stated simply as if he has rehearsed every counter Fuji would take already.

" I'd wait for you." Fuji said stubbornly.

"I don't want you to wait all alone"

" I'm willing to" Fuji insisted stepping closer to Tezuka.

"I don't want you to… if I make it then maybe but I don't need a burden…"

"I'm a burden?" Fuji asked in shock again.

"Not really…" Tezuka said with a sigh.

"Then what am I Kunimitsu?" Fuji asked raising his voice.

" Just don't Syuusuke…" Tezuka stated with clarity. " I want to go my own way…"

With that he left with no regrets, but I was thoroughly broken. The man I thought who loved me as much as I loved him was leaving me behind without a choice, a path…I was stuck in that second and could only reminisce the scenes and remember the memories…never did I expect Ryoma to concern himself so much over me that he'd lecture me and tell me what would be my first step to awakening.

" I don't want to get in his way…" Fuji said softly." I don't want him to push me away even more…"

The fiery gaze if his golden eyes suggested that he was going to beat some sense into Fuji but instead of the anger his eyes showed, Ryoma leaned over and pressed his lips against Fuji. The action stunned Fuji and made Ryoma jerk away before he started his lecture again…

But it was that moment that my time started to move again… Ryoma had re-opened my eyes… in a subtle way but still a step…

" Stop waiting then! Go forward…you're hurting yourself just sitting in one place…you're hurting me…" Ryoma whispered the last part setting his hand over his heart that beat hurtfully against his chest now.

Fuji could do nothing but stare silently as Ryoma who looked so anguished as if he was the one to be left behind. Then as if he made his point, Ryoma turned to walk a ways before he stopped to but the full impact on Fuji.

"Stop coming here to fall into self-pity…stop coming here with wallow and worry us needlessly if you don't want to be pulled out…"

" Ryoma…" Fuji finally uttered. He finally felt a bit of strength to question Ryoma about the kiss.

"What?" Ryoma asked not turning around.

Fuji closed the distance and waited for him to turn around, yet he didn't so the silence conveyed so much uneasiness that Ryoma took a step to separate them further.

"Why did you kiss me just now?" Fuji finally asked softly. He needed to know the reason… was it pity, was it lust? What was it?

It was then that Ryoma turned a round and gave Fuji a REAL wake-up call to life again.

"Because I've always liked you Senpai…"

From that moment forward I knew there was a reason to live on for the next day…because Ryoma gave me life again…he saw…ME.

………………………………………………………………………………………..

"Syuusuke!"

Snapping his head around he saw Tezuka leaning down from where he stood outside the car to look at him." Are you going to come or daydream some more?"

"Ha-hai…" Fuji murmured as he opened the door and stepped out as well. The breeze felt good on this warm day, but more than that, it was who he saw that made him pause and stare.

In front of him was Ryoma…Ryoma inside of Atobe's arms greeting employees as they walked by. So if he didn't love Ryoma, why did it hurt to see him in someone's arms…why did he have the flames of jealously burning inside of him when he was married to the one he "knew" he wanted.

All these questions echoed in Fuji's head but all the questions only led to the root of the all questions…What is love?

Was it the love he held for Tezuka or this attachment he felt for Ryoma?


A/N: Tada! That end chapter one and the intro by dear Fuji and his fickleness. I do hope you'll all review and encourage me to write chapter 2 for the next mass update!