Because Caesar learns that it's difficult to manage his own sanity. Yet, Rex always has interesting way to make his older brother resurface to reality.
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Warning: Yadda yadda, I don't live in English or Spanish based country. Yeah, I know… My grammar is crappy.
Note 1: The drug description in this story is not exactly misused, but some people can be sensitive when I talk about it lightly, so I give early warning. I will be talking medicine here.
Note 2: To be honest, I'm not sure if this disorder is Caesar's exact problem. However since the disorder's symptoms fits perfectly, I use this.
Last Note: I'm not really sure the specific procedure and policies for mental illness therapy in Geneva. This is based on my own class, I assume it is international standard, so this is more like Caesar's POV (and I'm not sure Swiss people talk English fluently in there either).
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"There's something wrong with my son, Gabe." Rafael Salazar confessed.
Gabriel Rylander, the biologist, his most trusted colleague, put aside his work when he realized this conversation was getting serious.
"Which one?" He asked. Rylander was aware of the current newcomer, their youngest son named Rex.
"Caesar." Dr. Salazar replied.
"Oh."
Rylander's reaction made Rafael raise one of his dark eyebrows. His colleague's reply tone didn't sound like 'oh really?' Instead, it was more like 'oh okay'.
"Gabe, this is serious." He frowned, "He didn't graduate his current grade."
"Now that is serious." Rylander nodded, feeling concern.
In their community, when their child didn't graduate just one grade it was considered taboo. Though Rafael and Gabriel weren't strict to their children's career choice, they were concern of their children's education development.
Gabriel sighed before he started this conversation, "I am...aware that raising teenager is hard..."
"On the contrary Caesar is well-behaved." Rafael narrowed his eyes, "Before he went to this high school, he was accepted in 4 best schools in this state."
"Have you talked to the boy?"
"I did. He told me he did...not enjoy his current school. The strange thing is...no matter how hard he studied. He forgot everything the next morning. I knew he tried his hardest but…"
"Or he needed help." Rylander replied, "His behavior reminded me of a certain symptoms from a common disorder."
Rafael narrowed his eyes, "Gabe, are you saying my son is..."
"Having mental problem is not exactly a horrible thing, Rafe. He might be…too smart for our society. I mean honestly, even Albert Einstein was considered dumb when he was a child. In our eyes Caesar is unique, but sometimes the society just can't accept someone who is different." Rylander shrugged.
"What am I going to do?" Rafael sighed jadedly.
"Take him to someone who could help him."
"A psychiatrist?" the Argentinian snorted, "Violeta wouldn't approve. She was so convinced that there's nothing wrong with Caesar. Do you remember her dedication to make sure our sons are healthy? When she was pregnant with Caesar, she ate a lot of pineapples and salmon."
"That is indeed a lot of preparation." Normally Rylander would comment on Caesar's strange choice of food, but he put aside and focused on their main problem instead. He placed his hand to his friend's shoulder and continued, "I am aware that you and Violeta both loved your children very much. But your son's problem is perhaps…beyond you. He needs help, Rafe. This isn't about curing his problem, it's about taking control of his behavior and he might succeed."
Rafael sighed, "You…might be right."
"Think of Caesar as the brilliant 'fish' like Albert Einstein said."
"The fish?"
"Everybody is a genius." Rylander began, "But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."
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Few days later
Rafael Salazar flipped the newspaper. It was his feeble attempt to distract himself. He was anxiously waiting the inscription medicine with his eldest son, Caesar Salazar. The Argentinian man wasn't really sure his real purpose on reading the last week's paper which was provided by the hospital's waiting room staff. Clearly there were no interesting topics in the news (aside the football articles in sport section).
"Papi…"
The father literally flinched when his eldest son called him. Now he remembered why he needed distraction. He glanced aside to see his fourteen year old Caesar sitting quietly, playing with disassembly puzzle. The difficulty of the puzzle is level four out of five.
"Is something wrong with me?" The teenager wasn't looking at his father. His dark brown eyes were still looking on the puzzle which he held.
Rafael sighed deeply, lowered his newspaper and taking off his glasses. While he was fiddling his glasses, his mind was debating. He was wondering how to tell the truth to his eldest son the subtle way. He wasn't going to lie to Caesar. His son is not a fool because he knew where they had been.
Yesterday, before they went there, his wife disagreed with his decision. Rafael must endure with his wife's stubbornness that engaged their common couple argument.
He remembered Violeta's paranoia when she yelled in Spanish: The doctors would give him painkillers! What if they put Caesar in asylum? How do you know it's the correct mental disease? No, there's nothing wrong with our son!
Physically…no, there's nothing wrong with Caesar. But mentally…
In the end she reluctantly agreed to his decision. So, both father and son went to a psychiatrist, a licensed doctor who had years experience, trustable enough to diagnose Caesar's problem.
Visiting Psychiatric hospital (as Rafael predicted) wasn't so bad. They don't suggest Caesar to be put in Asylum like Violeta's exaggerating imagination. In fact, it went regularly: the doctors were calm and serene. Caesar was cooperative and answered the psychiatrist's question. The theory about his son's disorder wasn't far-fetched, but Rafael needed professional confirmation, not some mindless insult like from Caesar's unwelcoming classmates and teachers in their new school. Even thought his eldest son wasn't affected by their rumors and accusing. The teenager was slightly concern by their offense, wondering if he'll become a psychopath mad scientist like those B-rated movies he'd seen with his parents.
Now Rafael returned to his senses. He was still sitting on the waiting line with his eldest son and Caesar's last question disturbed his father, because it was more like, 'Am I crazy?'
Rafael closed his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose trying to find the right answer. The time he opened his eyes, he didn't found it. Instead, he quoted the psychiatrist's words.
"Sanity is not measured." He said it simply without looking at his son.
Of course his father's reply confused Caesar. Finally his son stopped fiddling his puzzle. He titled his head and looked at his father.
"¿Qué?"
Rafael answered again with more confidence, "Human's sanity cannot be measured with numbers or absolute amount. Instead it is more like color gradation. For example: you cannot tell when the color green is more yellow or blue. It is more to individual's point of view. And yes, you are not completely sane. But there is no such thing as a complete sane man. All people are mad…some stayed that way."
Caesar wasn't sure if he understood all of his father's words, so he sums it, "So am I one of those who stay mad?"
"Well…'mad' is not the correct analogy. It is more to eccentricity, perhaps."
"So I am dumb?"
Rafael snorted, "On the contrary."
Caesar's father didn't lie about that part. Damn his teachers, they didn't know that Caesar passed the test and was accepted in all of four best schools in that state. Absurdly, they didn't allow him to pass his current grade. Now thanks to their uncivilized judgment, the society believed that his son was dunce.
"Well, whatever this problem is. I will get medication right? Medicine for me?" Caesar's eyes went to the counter.
"Yes and the doctors scheduled you to therapy." Rafael only nodded.
"Will it cure me?"
"No." Rafael confessed, "There is no absolute cure for your 'problem'. But you can control it. The therapy and this medication will help you to control your problem. That's the most important thing, Caesar."
"What if I can't be normal?"
"Being normal doesn't guarantee that you will be a better man. As I recall I know a man with great logic, ambition and respected by so many people, but he destroyed the world."
"Who is that man?"
"His name is Adolf Hitler."
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Rafael Salazar had reported back to his friend about Caesar's problem to his friend Gabriel Rylander…and again the Biologist wasn't surprised.
"Caesar had Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, the predominantly inattentive type."
"Inattention, easy distractibility, disorganization, procrastination, forgetfulness? Uh Yes….that's definitely Attention Deficit Disorder." Rylander was confused but not by the fact that Caesar did have a problem, but more to the type of his disorder, "But why ADHD-PI? I still don't understand why ADD had become one of the subtypes of Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. Clearly, ADD is quite different than ADHD. Of course that changed since 1994 in the new book 'Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders', the fourth edition."
"You knew about this disorder?"
"Oh yes, ADHD is the most commonly studied and diagnosed psychiatric disorder in children. In Caesar's case, he is reaching adolescents, now he is develop coping mechanisms to compensate for his impairments. I suspected it from the beginning, but since I had no PhD of Psychology, I have no right to diagnose your son's disorder."
"Why is ADD is different than ADHD?"
Gabriel shrugged, "Think of it as the subtle version for the ADHD, they have fewer symptoms of typical hyperactivity or impulsiveness. In the recent famous literature series called 'Percy and the Olympians' considered ADHD as one of the sign that you're a demi-god. Oh imagine that!" He laughed and then looked at Rafael, "Come to think of that, wouldn't that be coincidence? You are an 'angel' after all."
The Argentinian man wasn't amused, even though he noticed the obvious pun. His name was based on Archangel, and to add another ironic fact; Rylander's first name was also based on another Archangel.
"Why people call this disorder as 'cool' stuff? Disorders are like disabled, it's like like having no arm. It's chronic."
Rylander replied, "It is a developmental disorder. It's not that bad. ADD is one of the mental disorders that nearly resurface the sanity level of common society...or at least that's on my opinion since its diagnosis and treatment have been considered controversial since the 70's. It's hard to tell difference with ADD people or normally lazy. Others cannot tell the difference with ADHD with normal hyperactive child. But if you check it with PET scan: ADHD brains dopamine transporters are lesser."
Rafael didn't pay any attention to Dr. Rylander's chemistry chatting. Now he starts talking about certain chemical hormones that caused this disorder. Even though he's a scientist, biology is not Rafael's area of expertise. He was more to a robotics specialist. While distracting himself from Rylander's random facts about this disorder, Rafael took out Caesar's medicine.
That stopped Gabriel Rylander's chemistry talking, "Ah, is that Methylphenidate?"
"It's Ritalin." The Argentinian man corrected his colleague.
"Yes, Methylphenidate is the systematic name. May I see it?"
Rafael handed out the medicine on his hand. "It is smaller than I thought."
"Are you nuts? It's a medicine for neurotic problem, of course it's small. It stated that it was 20 mg, and that's the maximum capacity."
"Drink it once a day on the morning."
"Don't drink it at night."
"Why?"
"Ritalin works like caffeine. It is even more effective than caffeine because it affect your neurotic system than your heart. It will help your son gain attention. But if he drinks it at night he will have trouble sleeping. Even if he could, he will have strange dreams."
Rafael twitched, "Violeta wouldn't like that." "Don't worry, my friend. Ritalin is practically harmless. As long the dosage is right."
"Then again…I'm more afraid if he stops drinking it! What if he starts suicidal? What if he drives our family car and crashes random place and hurting people or killing one of them? What if he starts blaming his parents? What if….?"
"Rafe…"
"What?"
"Are you talking about the last night's episode of 'Law and Order: SVU'?"
"Uhm….yes…?"
"The girl in that show has bipolar and Caesar won't go that chaotic if he stops his medicine." Gabriel sighed, "Besides it's only movie…."(1)
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First Session
That day was Caesar's first day of his therapy. The Hispanic teenager suspiciously looked at the sterilized white room. There were some toys, matching card game, books, posters, at the last corner of the room there's even a sandbox (they used rice, not sand, because it was much easy to clean and more hygienic) the tray was placed on top of a short table with many animal miniatures(2). Caesar was slightly disappointed that he was placed in such kiddy room. He'd imagine that therapy has long chair and he will sit on that chair wasting his time talking with a psychiatrist, while they suck his parent's money.
Then again he's not with Psychiatrist, twice a week he will be in that room with Pedagogy. The Hispanic teenager had also looked up in dictionary about 'Pedagogy'. He wasn't sure what Pedagogy could do...but Pedagogy in Greek means 'to lead the children'. He might find out soon enough.
"Hello, Caesar. Have a sit." The Pedagogy called and pointed two chairs that were facing to his table.
Caesar complied. He sat and observed the man across the table. He felt like this was the usual appointment to a doctor. But this Pedagogy wasn't wearing doctor lab coat, instead he was wearing dark red waistcoat, white shirt and dark blue jeans. He was about mid thirty years old. Reddish brown hair with blue eyes framed by glasses: an ordinary stereotypical teacher figure.
"My name is Mr. Cornelius. I will be your teacher for the time being."
To Caesar, Cornelius spoke English quite well for a Swiss, although there were some bits of German accent. By the time being, in their session they would talk English.
"Should I play with these...kiddy stuffs?" Feeling displeased, Caesar mentioning the sand (rice) box behind him.
"Of course not… They are for kids" Mr. Cornelius smiled.
"Am I the oldest here?" Caesar was asking that question shyly.
"No, I've been dealing with some troubled teenagers and adults lately. They were older than you. My recent patient is a twenty year old man with autism problem." Cornelius fixed his glasses as he prepared Caesar's psychology documentary, "You will do your homework, and I will observe your behavior. We'll figure out how to solve technically while at the same time we will be dealing with your problem."
When Caesar opened his school book, he realized the true meaning of Pedagogy. "To lead the child", Mr. Cornelius is not going to just hear his confession. He was going to do his job, helping Caesar to cope with his disorder.
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Seventh Session
On the 7th session of Caesar's therapy, Mr. Cornelius was introduced to Rex Salazar. Actually it was more like the little intruder breached into their clinic instead of introduction. Little Rex went from the front door by Dr. Rylander. The biologist dropped him by and told the receptionist that Rex should wait for his brother's therapy session and their father would pick them up. After Gabriel Rylander informed her, he said farewell to little Rex and the receptionist.
Right after Rylander left, the receptionist fail to prevent little Rex from barging in Mr. Cornelius' class room.
When he entered the room, Cornelius was amused by the little intruder's energy. The Pedagogy, at first, was mistaking Rex as one of the new ADHD student, but soon realized that the boy was too young to be diagnosed. The receptionist apologized to Cornelius, but he shrugged her apology and let the boy in. He realized that this little boy's face was similar with Caesar, perhaps they're related.
The little boy slowed down and approaching Caesar carefully. The teenager didn't realize his presence at first. He was too busy figuring out his math homework problem.
"…Eh-mano..." The child mumbled naively.
Finally Caesar glanced to the toddler for few seconds…and then he was literally squeaked. His eyes went wide and pale as if he'd seen a ghost. Mr. Cornelius couldn't see the boy's face since the little intruder was smaller than their desk. The Pedagogy need to stand to see and he realized why Caesar was horrified.
Before the little boy barged in to Cornelius' therapy room, he was currently eating Popsicle. He had finished licking the ice, now he was poking the remaining wooden stick into his nostril...
"Rex..." Caesar shivered while his eyes twitching, "Don't put that stick that to your nose."
Caesar's hand was waving feebly, looking for tissue. Mr. Cornelius responded quickly, handling him the tissue (sterilized tissue made especially for the hospital).
"I'm sorry Mr. Cornelius. This is my little brother." He sighed as he gently pried off the stick from the little boy and then threw it on the litter box, "His name is Rex."
"Oh..." Needless to say Cornelius was astounded. He remembered from Caesar's profile that he had a younger brother. But he didn't imagine their age span was this long.
"How old is he?"
"He is nearly three years old." Caesar answered while wiping his brother's face. He was struggling because the little boy kept squirming.
"He is slightly small…isn't he?"
Little Rex was wearing red t-shirt blue short pants and he was carrying backpack. Aside the fact that Rex's face was evidently similar with Caesar, his figure was so contradicting compared with his elder brother. Rex was so petite that Mr. Cornelius thought the little boy was no older than 1 year old. Caesar, on the other hand was taller than most teenagers, he inherited his height from his tall Argentinian father. The eldest son was only fourteen years old, yet he was almost as tall as adults.
"Rex doesn't like to eat...or he eats little. Only Mami can make him eat." Caesar had harder time holding Rex because he was bored and he wanted to run again, "Pórtate bien!" he assertively hushed his brother.
Mr. Cornelius wasn't disturbed. On the contrary, he was too perplexed observing Caesar's interaction with his little brother.
"Where is Mami?" The elder Salazar asked Rex.
Talking with Rex was akin on talking with aliens. The toddler was speaking Spanish with terrible accent, mixed with unsettled English and some gibberish words that Mr. Cornelius thought it was something like fail imitation of German language. Yet, miraculously, Caesar understood him fully.
"Gripa...Tiene gripa." Caesar told his little brother sternly, at the same time he was correcting Rex's accent. The teenager turned at Mr. Cornelius, "Mami is sick. So that's why Rex was left here."
"Is Mrs. Salazar all right?"
"Well, she is rarely ill. But Rex said something about watery nose and sneezing sound. So I hope it's just common flu."
"I hope so."
His brother spotted interesting stuffs in that room. Now he demanded his older brother to release him. "Waaaaaaaaannt!"
Caesar, "No, those toys are not yours. Stay still." He turned to his Pedagogy, "I'm sorry Mr. Cornelius. Usually Dr. Gabriel and his wife can take care of him. But he and Dad must've been very busy right now so they left Rex in here."
"Oh no, not at all. I don't mind. He can play with the toys here, as long as he's not running."
To be honest, the real reason why Mr. Cornelius let Rex in his session was because he wanted to observe more of Caesar's relationship with his little brother. The Salazar family played a big role in Caesar's social skill development. Though his parent (his mother eventually) had supported his progress in this therapy, they were too busy to attend his session. It's the fact that he wouldn't complain because the Caesar's parents work was essential for the world's science breakthrough. The need to have a family member in his therapy wasn't exactly that urgent either. But now by dumb luck, his little brother was here now, Cornelius would use this moment efficiently.
Caesar sighed and turned to his brother. He instructed Rex carefully to not to run, be more quiet, and forbade him to destroy the toys, or poking one of pointy object to his nose. Rex nodded impatiently then his older brother let him go. The toddler went to the first item he saw first, the sand (rice) box, leaving his backpack on the chair next to Caesar.
The wondrous toys of Mr. Cornelius' clinic room kept Rex preoccupied. Caesar returned to his work while his Pedagogy was still observing the Salazar brothers, subconsciously comparing their contradicting behavior.
"Dr. Rylander shouldn't bring him here." Caesar suddenly said that to Cornelius.
"Well, it's fine, really..."
"No, I meant I don't know how to handle him."
"Didn't you take care of him?"
"No..." Caesar confessed, "To be honest, sometimes I avoid him, because I really don't know how to handle him. The only time I really hold him when Mama's hands are full. I went okay once he's starting to walk when he's one and a half years old. Still...he couldn't get his Spanish right." Caesar smiled a little.
"Babysitters?"
"Mama and Papa don't trust any strangers, only the Rylanders. They rarely want to disturb them too."
The Hispanic teenager had finished his homework. He snatched Rex's backpack and digging his hand in it. He took out his little brother's lunchbox, examining it and took out the lid cover. He observed that it was half empty.
"Rex... You haven't finished your lunch."
"I'm full..." Rex pouted.
"But you have to eat."
Rex wasn't listening and Caesar didn't want to pester him. Rex's cry was as loud as a banshee. He definitely didn't want that to happen.
"I really don't know how Mami does it." He sighed, turning to Mr. Cornelius.
"Toddlers are often imitating their elder. If you want him to eat, you have to eat together with him."
"I just ate." Caesar narrowed his eyes, slightly disliked Cornelius' suggestion.
"As I recall, you didn't eat much."
"At least I finished my food."
"-and Rex didn't."
Caesar inclined to do what Mr. Cornelius suggested, but then he eyed at Rex's lump food in the small lunch box. It was damp because it was left for hours.
"I definitely won't eat this food." He was disgusted, pushing the lunch box away.
"Well, I've heard the cafeteria sell Mexican food. Oh and I don't suggest buying any food that contains carbohydrate or anything sugar related. Because your little brother is very..." Cornelius looked at Red again, "He is very hyperactive."
Caesar winced, he was aware of what sugar could do to kids. It was something he learnt from his chemistry class. The elder Salazar sighed, stood up and asked permission to go to the lowest floor and Mr. Cornelius let him.
Caesar returned with some food, he sat down quietly and ate it. Few minutes later Cornelius' plan was working, Rex watched his older brother with envy. He approached Caesar, sitting on a chair beside him and asked, "Wat's da...?"
"Quesadilla." Caesar answered.
"I wanna ty..."
The elder brother did what he requested. First he helped Rex sit on the chair beside him and then cut some piece of the food and placed it on Rex's lunch box. Driven his urge to have something like his older brother, Rex munched the food eagerly. Thus today's Caesar's therapy session has turned into eating session with little Rex.
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Eighth Session
The next day Mrs. Violeta Salazar didn't get better. Though she routinely drank her medicine, she didn't rest often. The woman woke up earlier, stubbornly preparing milk and beverages for her family, on the afternoon she worked on house and on the evening her condition went worse again.
Mr. Cornelius was notified on Caesar's 8th session when he came inside his clinic, making him loss of words. Caesar's isn't looking well himself. He looked very tired, and Cornelius didn't use that term as an exaggeration. The Pedagogy thought his life suddenly turned into a reality horror movie. Caesar was breathing hard. His spiky hair was slightly flattened, wet and messy. His surrounding eyes are dark, like panda's eyes.
"Can I...play with the sand box?" He asked hoarsely.
Mr. Cornelius needed few minutes to register the Hispanic teen's request. On the first day when he met this Hispanic teenager, Caesar hated the sand (rice) box. But now absurdly he wanted to play with it...He must've been so stressed.
"What happen to you?"
"I think I'm too tired to study for a while."
"I think...you need to rest."
"No, Dr. Rylander would drop Rex in here any minute now."
"I assume, your mother is not fully recovered?"
He murmured some words in Spanish again feeling exasperated. Caesar shook his head and answered, "No..."
"So you're taking care of Rex, now?"
"Dios mío..." Caesar murmured, "I had no idea he is such a trouble maker."
"Can't your father take care of him?"
"He was too busy taking care of Mamá, but then she cast him away, and telling him to do his job."
"So you're taking care both of your mother and Rex." Cornelius grimaced. He knew it was logical that Caesar, as the eldest son, was burdened with this responsibility. But to have it all in one day was too much. Caesar didn't seem complaining much despite his horrifying appearance and he preferred not to discuss about it.
Feeling pity, Cornelius said he'd give him any freedom to do whatever he wanted. Caesar went to the sandbox immediately. He arranged the miniatures that decorated on top of the sand box and placed it aside. Since he's an intelligent teenager, Caesar didn't just play with it, he actually build something. It's quite impressive that he manage to build something from it. When playing in real sand box it was much easier; just add water and anyone could build anything from it. But with rice as medium it was more difficult.
When Cornelius was certain that Caesar is finished with his work, he inspected it from afar, it look something like triangle.
"Pyramid." Caesar answered, "I'm reading Rex about Egypt."
"That's very well done."
Caesar just shrugged at Cornelius' compliment, few minutes later Rex barging into that room eager to see Mr. Cornelius items ignoring that he was chased by the receptionist. Once again Cornelius waved hand to the receptionist, inaudibly telling her that Rex is allowed to get in.
"Eh-mano...?"
"Hermano." Caesar corrected, "Come here…"
" ¿Qué? "
"Pyramids." Caesar pulled his little brother to give him better view, "It's Piraaa…?"
"Pi…piraaaa….mi...mi…."
"Pirámide." Caesar snickered because his little brother couldn't speak Spanish right.
There's a saying ADHD have strange charisma towards little kids and toddlers. Maybe it's just some random rumor…or perhaps deep down in their hearts ADHD people are children themselves.
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(1) The show that Rafael Salazar and Gabriel Rylander watched is "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" in season 7 episode 22 called "Influence" launched in 16 May 2005. The story involves a bipolar girl went chaotic (as in she mows down 9 pedestrians with her car) all in one day just because she stop her medication believing her idol who detested psychology rather listening to her doctor.
(2) The sandbox and miniatures (I recently just found out) is actually the standard play therapy item. The therapists are using this technique to explore the patient's psychology problems if the 'talk' therapy isn't working. The technique was developed by a therapist named Dora M. Kalff who was a…Swiss :D
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This is should be short, either I would turn it into 4 chapters or no that depends on my laziness XD Keep your fingers crossed. If you need Spanish translation just let me know.
