First of all to people reading 'Create your own Family', it is not over there is 2 more chapters to come.
Second I was doing groceries and I got really inspired by a song so I decide to write that little drabble.
So it's inspired by Eminem & Skylar Grey – I need a doctor
And full disclaimer I don't own neither the song nor the 100's characters.
A week has passed since the accident and Clarke is still in an induced coma. Abby told him it was to protect her so she could heal without feeling the pain of her injuries. She's been telling him every morning when she came to see her daughter before her shift that Clarke is going to be okay, and every night before when she pays her a good night visit that he should try to get some sleep she won't wake up on her own so he doesn't have to be their every hours of the day, but he is not about to leave that room. Thanks to Chancellor Griffin's position at the Ark Med Bay, no one asked him to leave they even gave them the only room with two bed though he hasn't used the second bed, he won't leave her. When he goes to take a shower he makes sure that someone stays with her hold her hand talk to her.
Octavia comes by every day and stays as long as she can, but she needs to take care of their people, she knows that for now it's her turn to take care of her brother and the only thing she is able to do for him is make sure that all of the remaining hundreds are safe and cared for, that Monty's nightmares are kept at bay at night, that Jasper gets food and water and use them for something else than flying object. She is making sure to stop by Raven's room before she gets to the med bay so she can tell Bellamy that the girl is healing just find.
That night though when she comes to see her brother after a long day, she hears Kane talking to him, he is trying to get him distracted by asking him advice on how to run the camp.
"Should we put more guards on rotation? The Millers are managing the shifts just fine but I think you should still get a look and tell us which one of the 100 you think we should form or listen to when it comes to our security"
"I am about to lose my mind, she's been gone for so long, I'm running out of time, I need her to make those decisions, it is how we always take all decisions, together."
Octavia comes in the room to see a single tear rolling on Bellamy's cheek. She nod Kane to leave it alone. They both had a conversation about it earlier deciding that only 1 request per day was enough for now.
Bellamy was looking pale, which she didn't think was possible due to his usually olive complexion.
"Hey, I brought you food." She puts the tray on the bed that was supposed to be Bellamy's.
"It hurts to see her like that, O. Kane comes to me for ideas but all I hear is crazy I don't believe he needs me so much, he is just running option to me and all I can think about is her. Doubt is creeping in every part of me, I can't make decisions, I am second guessing myself, I keep begging for her help. How could anyone see my vision for our people if she is not by my side?"
Octavia doesn't answer, they already had that conversation the day before, and the day before that and she is pretty sure they will have the same one over again tomorrow. She just hugs him and gets out of the little room.
2 days later, Abby is explaining to Bellamy that they are going to stop the coma because Clarke is better now, she can finish her recovery and be awake.
"But it's going to take time for her to wake up so be patient."
And Bellamy is patient, very patient 13 hours patient, but he just can't take it anymore, in a few hours she'll wake up and all he can think about is all those feelings that start blooming in his heart months ago, when it was still just them and the 100, and didn't leave him alone for even one minute since she's been lying peacefully sleeping.
He wants her to know that he won't leave her alone anymore, never. He wants to hear her yell at him when Octavia is going to tell her he spend 10 days at her side instead of taking care of their people. He wants to see her beautiful blue eyes looking at him like the first day she came to Camp Jaha and lunch herself into a hug with him. He wants to feel her lips on his cheek again they were warm and left a tickling feeling in him for hours. He wants to feel his heart jump of joy just like when 2 month after Mount Weather she came back to camp telling him that missing them was worse than feeling guilty. He wants to see that proud look she gave him after he had shown her the little side camp he made for the remaining hundred because they didn't felt safe with the adult anymore.
He wants her to wake up and he is tired of waiting. So he start talking to her. Yelling at her hoping that it would make her wake up just to shut him up.
"I don't know if you're awake or still asleep, all I know is that you were there when I was in my lowest, you picked me up, breath me a new life, and without you I can't see what you saw in me I can't see myself like you do. You freacking believed in me when everybody was scared of me, you risked your life, your position, your family for me. No one wanted to trust a janitor murderer. I owe my life to you, you saved me, now it's my time to save you. Let me pay you back, let me fight your demons for you, let me be you bright light in the dark. You're my mentor, I want to be your partner your sidekick, I can't be a leader without you. I don't care if you want to fight me or hug me, but I am out of option there is nothing else I can do."
He stops, take a deep breathe not sure this is a smart move but he can't think of anything else since Abby told him she was going to wake up. He leans in and gently brushes his lips against hers. They are warm, and soft and he wants more, so much more. He wants to feel her react when he put his lips on hers moving them softly. He wants to feel her hands moving to his neck, her fingers in his hair playing with his curls, her wants to feel her light smile against his lips, he wants to…
And suddenly his mind goes blank.
Her hands are in his curls, her lips are responding to his kiss, her beautiful eyes are looking at him with something he'd never seen before, Love, he thinks.
He pulls away and look as she tries to keep her eyes open. He is not going to say he is sorry because he won't never lie to her. All he could think about is go get Abby but Clarke take his hand in hers.
"You just bring me back to life. Don't go now I may need it again"
He doesn't even take a second to think about it, leans back onto her to kiss her again. He will do that until she tells him it's okay to get her mom. Until he can be sure that she is really here with him. Until later that night when she falls back asleep and there is only one last thing he didn't tell her yet.
"I love you."
