A month ago I finally re-watched the TMNT movie again (I love it soooo much) and instantly reminded myself what was bugging me about the movie. To be honest, I think the movie was seriously awesome and Leo/Raph fight on the rooftop was +A, but I don't think it was ever explained why exactly Leo didn't come home sooner. I mean, there really must had been a darn good reason for him to break his promise. I'm sure he didn't just 'forgot'. So this is why I started writing this fic. It's my take on what might have happened to him in the jungle. My heading was that Leo somehow lost himself in the jungle, and lost who he is and was, and needed little something to bring him back to realization.

Also Leo and his bros are around 17 in this story. This is set in 2007 universe, but with a bit of changes. I absolutely love their 2012 eyes, as I think it matches their personality, so their eye colour will be different. That's all :)

This is my first multi-chapter TMNT story, so I'll see how it'll work out…

So anyway, thanks for clicking on the story :)


Chapter One

His World


The wet mud on his feet was cold and it left him with an uncomfortable feeling of stickiness and dirt smeared all over his body. The smell of rotting plants, trees and mud was so overpowering that it almost made him gag just to think about it, no matter how long had he already been there. His steps were long and taken with difficultness due to his muscles aching and loudly protesting from moving any more, but still, he kept going, hoping to reach the near lake as fast as possible.

His throat was dry and he figured that if he had to say something, his voice would probably betray him right on the spot, due to not talking in days. The only sound that was freely breaking through the dominant and wary silence of the dark depths of the seemingly endless jungle was soft chirping of birds and small insects, as well as sound of distant waterfalls.

He made his way through the tangled brushes and vines, praying silently in his head not to again step on some snake's tail by complete accident as many days ago. It wasn't as if he was afraid of snakes, it was just that he didn't like the feeling of twisting snake's tail under his feet. Though he had already spent a little more than five full months here, away from his family and almost cut off from any kind of civilization, except for a few small, local villages spread throughout the jungle, he still hadn't gotten used to the new surroundings.

Patiently, he counted each day, each hour and minute from the day when he landed in this seemingly forgotten place, and waited for the day when he would finally be able to mark off the end of his six month training period to return home to his family.

Though the so wanted and anticipated return was only weeks, days away, it seemed so distant and unreachable at the moment, he didn't even dare to think about it anymore.

Luckily, he finally reached the destination he searched for; a small lake, filled with clear but cold water. The near fast moving stream was the source of where the water came from, so he never had to worry about freshness of the calming liquid.

He limped to the edge of the lake and dropped to his knees, wincing in pain while doing so. While his muscles hurt him terribly, the main source of the pain was still his knee. A few weeks ago, while he was climbing a tall tree, to hide from some wandering village people, his arms gave out, due to the lack of food, and he fell off the tree, injuring his knee in process. Though the tree wasn't really unusually tall, it was probably the angle of the fall that contributed to his injury.

He couldn't really walk properly for the next few days and tried to ignore the pain – though unsuccessfully, but still he was sure that his knee wasn't properly healed, as it betrayed him every once in a while. Especially the last few days.

He sighed and lowered his trembling hands in cold liquid, bringing and splashing it on his sweaty and hot face to help him cool down. The jungle air was incredibly hot and humid during the day, and he liked to stay in shadows - not only to stay hidden from wild animals and locals, but shadows also offered him a great deal of cooling when he needed it.

But right on contrary, when the night came everything turned around. Nights there were cold and chilly night wind didn't help at all. It was the perfect weather to catch a cold. Especially if you weren't used to this climate.

So it was no wonder why he felt he was coming down with something. He felt weak. Even holding up his trusted weapons started being difficult for him. Although he was tired – more like exhausted- he couldn't afford to get a well-deserved sleep, due to the dangers lurking in the shadows.

He didn't like the idea of being killed in his sleep, so he had to be wary of his surrounding all the time, and that slowly became too much for him.

He took a sip of the water, almost smiling at the pleasant, cooling effect that water had, while running down his burning throat. It was like that for almost a week now, and even if he did manage to find something small to eat, he had a hard time swallowing it due to the burning sensation in throat. It was almost impossible to ignore the pain, and the lack of food and rest drastically weakened his exhausted body.

His brother would probably be going nuts now if only he knew about the pain he felt. He made a mental note, to let Don know about this if the symptoms wouldn't disappear till his return home.

If he would come home.

He let out a sigh he didn't know, was holding in and looked at his wavering reflection in crystal clear water. He spent five months here, finding himself, trying to be a better leader and a ninja, meditating, living almost off of nothing, except for water in terrible living conditions, but yet he felt like he missed, or did everything wrong.

While it was quite alright the beginning few weeks – except for numerous food poisoning with different types of fruit and insects' bites- it only started to get worse as the days progressed.

He looked at a torn and muddy brown robe which was sprawled on the wet ground next to him. From the day one he knew there were a few local villages near the jungle. The only signs of civilization around here, and even they lived in terrible circumstances. A widely spread gang of bandits and criminals were heartlessly robbing the people living in the village, making them their slaves, stripping them of their valuables, goods and what little money they had. Those who objected, were either brutally beaten or murdered on the spot. He didn't know that at first. He liked to stay out of their business and instead of researching the villages, he preferred to concentrate on his training.

He didn't know who they were or why were they doing that. But they were criminals, and he never really understood them. All he knew was that they were evoking terror and fear in villages and while he knew that he should of have done something to stop this nonsense and to bring peace back to the villages, he never did anything.

Maybe it was his inner egoism that started showing when he found himself in troubling situation himself or had just enough problems on his shoulders already. Maybe he was just sick and tired of the same old story, when they saved numerous, but were still marked as monsters, underappreciated, worthless to many people outside who didn't give even give them a chance. Maybe he knew, he wouldn't be able to defend people in such a weak state he was in, and just gave in.

Though that was unusual for him and for a leader and a protector, this is a mistake he could never afford. Maybe he failed right at beginning, maybe he never really tried well enough. He was just so confused, his thoughts were all over the place. He couldn't even bring himself to meditate in peace to rest his mind if not body.

But that didn't mean he wasn't occasionally helping the poor locals. If one of them was hurt or lost in the jungle, he watched in shadows from the trees over them, until they found their way back home safely. He knew he could have done more, and his inner voice kept telling him to help the villagers in more way than just watching over them. He tried to distant himself from civilization and people as much as possible, not risking to be seen or interfering too much in their everyday.

While he knew that coming here could bring some salvation to the villagers, he was also afraid it would only worsen the situation for them. From personal experiences he knew, that those people who became close to his family, only suffered later, due to them involving in their lives.

He only visited villages on really rare occasions. And even when he did, he carefully sneaked in and stole some food when the hunger really kicked in. It made him feel horrible, stealing from already poor people, who did nothing to him and was completely against his honor, but at times he felt as if he had no choice.

Either steal occasionally or starve to death.

He even stole the robe from them one day in the beginning days when he realized that nights were too cold for his likings.

He didn't feel proud for doing so, and made a mental note to repay them somehow, but the only way he knew he could help them with, was to save them and their village from the criminals. And right now that was almost impossible as he could barely stand on his feet, let alone fight.

He didn't know when exactly had he started feeling so weakened, but he knew that sickness wouldn't go away if not treated properly.

His immune system totally crashed, and to be honest, that was expected to happen if one wasn't used to such extreme conditions. It wasn't the first time that he got sick since he had gotten here. He caught cold all the time, even back home in New York his immune system was the worst out of all his brothers. There wasn't a winter when he was completely healthy throughout the whole season.

So this was indeed a test, and a difficult task to accomplish. Six months isolated, all alone, not talking to anyone, except when he was feeling really down he occasionally confessed his emotion to some random bug or a bird. He just missed company.

He missed Donatello's inventions, how he always surprised them all with something new and helpful. He missed Michelangelo's antics, his hyperactivity and the sound of his laughing early in the morning. He even missed Raphael's sarcasm and their rivalry.

He untied his blue mask, that was now a bit ragged and dirty, the original sea blue almost long forgotten. He wondered what had sensei told his brothers the morning when he suddenly disappeared, without saying a single goodbye to anyone.

Did they understand? Did they hate him for not spending the last few hours of their time together with them? Would they ever forgive him?

Truth to be told, he never really liked the idea of his solitude training in the jungle so far away from his family. But still, he went with a flow and if master Splinter thought that was for the best, then why would he say no? A student and the leader must always listen to his sensei if he wanted the best for his clan.

He sunk the blue bandanna in the water trying to clean it at least a little bit before placing it back on his head. The crystal clear water around the fabric turned muddy, but in return the mask got a bit cleaner. It definitely lost its previous blue shine, but still it was better than nothing.

He missed his family; his brothers, sensei, April and Casey and still couldn't get over the fact that he left without absolutely no goodbye. What if something happened to him? What if those bandits accidentally saw him and caught or worse – killed him?

His family would never even know what happened to him. Though it would definitely be suspicious if he suddenly stopped writing monthly – sometimes weekly- letters to them, telling them he was indeed alright and alive. Though the jungle really did get the best of him.

But while he was always the quiet one of the family, never saying much, just watching and observing life unfold before his eyes, Leo was afraid of being alone. His life was never easy and so it wasn't easy for his brothers, but for him it all changed drastically the day Splinter chose him to be the leader. While the idea of leadership back then, when they were eight seemed so ideal and everyone wanted it, he only realized later, how far from ideal it really was.

His carefree days were over, as it became clear soon. And slowly, slowly after that, his friendship with Raphael slipped away. Maybe due to his full training schedule, and maybe it was jealousy. While Raphael always kind of seemed jealous of the leadership status his brother had gotten, Leo on the other hand had often felt jealousy for different reason. His brothers never had to train twice as hard as did he, they never had to take a full responsibility for whatever it might happen and never had to wear the burden on their shoulders. They were never afraid of failing, as brothers, students and leaders. They still had more of a childhood than he ever had.

But with great roles, came a great responsibility, and if any of them had to take such task of watching over them, he was glad it was him. He only wanted the best for his family, never intended on hurting any of them. Though sometimes, it seemed like it was all in vain, and he did the contrary.

He wished for his training to soon to be over. To return home, and apologize to his brothers for his sudden disappearance. Though he was scared that he had failed his task, right now the only thing that was on his mind was his return home. Nothing else mattered. He just needed to last a bit longer.

Leo closed his eyes and put on his soaked and cold mask, tying it back on. He almost smiled a little at the cooling feeling and it helped him greatly to decrease his throbbing headache even if only just for a few moments. He was sure he had a fever, since that would explain his fatigue and unpleasant shivers he was getting every now and then, but pushed it to the back of his head.

Maybe luck happened to be on his side and he'd find a small, cozy cave where he could sleep and rest for a whole day, without being tense or scared. Maybe so, he could finally rest his exhausted body and mind, but for now, he would need to hold on for a bit longer.

He coughed and cleared his throat, but no use. His lungs hurt, and every time he coughed it was like his insides were on fire. He leaned forward and took another sip of the water, hoping it would help him.

He never really realized how dangerous the jungle was until he had gotten in one himself. He was sure he'd lost quite a couple of kilograms during the past few months, but was determined to get back in shape as soon as possible when he returned home.

The water helped him a bit, but just as he was about to cough again, he heard a bloody scream coming from the jungle, almost making him jump in process. The scream was high pitched, and it seemed to end in a wail. Something must have happened to someone out there.

Or maybe it was the village kids that were messing around again as always. He had seen them multiple times, sneaking and playing around. Sometimes the brave ones also went in the jungle all alone, just to show the others their bravery. While to Leo it seemed like the stupidest idea ever, the kids loved it.

He was only a teenager but he often felt the need to watch over someone, like a father would over his children. Maybe it was because he was the eldest and had to look over his brothers.

He shook with head and went back to minding his business, muttering under his breath how reckless the kids were, when a loud gunshot rang out, scaring not only him a bit in process, but a flock of birds as well.

The blue clad ninja carefully listened for any sign of danger approaching him and he realized that the gunshot probably couldn't have happened too far away from him. He looked at the direction of it and watched the birds fly away in scare.

This definitely wasn't too far away from him, and while he silently agreed not to interfere with the villagers' lives, he couldn't help but felt a nagging feeling at the back of his head and it definitely wasn't a headache.

He debated in head whether he should stay where he was, getting a well-deserved rest or go take a look at what happened.

He knew what he should have done, and a year ago if he heard something like that, he would rush at the scene in no time, but now…Now he didn't really have a will to fight or even defend anyone but himself. He didn't know if it either was his own inner egoism or was it the fear his body wouldn't take the fight well enough.

Though he knew his brothers would be curious, or at least wanted to see what happened.

His father had always told him that fate of each person has already been established, and there was nothing that you could've done to prevent something from happening. It would only prolong it. So he stayed true to his father's words, respecting them.

Leo bit his lip, debating whether he should or shouldn't go. He looked down at his bandaged injuries and a pair of katanas carefully placed next to his legs. While his heart kept on telling him to go see what happened, even if it wasn't nothing, his muscles protested as never before.

He sighed, cursing at himself before going up on his unsteady feet and watched the world spin around for a bit. He let out a small growl and shook the dizziness away, before he grabbed his katanas and dashed towards the source of the gunshot.


So this is the end of the first chapter. It was some kind of a prologue, introducing the main character's situation and problems while living somewhere on the other side of the world completely alone and a bit scared. Because I believe that no matter who you are, at some point in such solitude you would get scared. The reason why Leo neglected to help the villagers was a bit mentioned here already, but it will also be explained in future chapters. I didn't want to go the classic way, Leo coming in jungle, seeing people in trouble and just knowing he found the purpose for being there. I wanted him to realize the people need him. And he will –in later chapters.

I also wanted to know the reason why Leo didn't come home sooner, so I thought about it, and made my own scenario in head. Oh and this isn't going to be any Canon/OC story. I respect those kind of stories, but some of the OCs are waaaay too mary sueish, and I hate when OCs take over the main characters.

So this is it for now, I hope everything is correct (grammar and spelling) since English isn't my first language. I had a hard time uploading this, since I couldn't remember my email (I changed my computer, because the previous one broke down, and lost absolutely everything.) Thank God I remembered it.

Thanks for reading and I would love if you reviewed and tell me what you think about it :)