Hi, I'm new to the Friends fandom, but I've been watching that show since I was a little kid! Love it!
Pre-Mondler fluff. Oh, what fun! Oh, and Thanksgiving is right around the corner! Get ready, Chandler.
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN FRIENDS. (Ain't that the truth...*cries at nonexistent social life*
The Gellers' dinner finally ended, much to Chandler Bing's relief. All he wanted to do was go home, rest his painful foot, and die of the pain and humiliation it caused him.
But Mrs. Geller insisted for him to stay for dinner, saying that she went through all that trouble to cook, so he may as well enjoy it. So, ignoring his toe, which was probably bleeding and slowly causing his painful and agonizing death, he sucked it up and stuffed himself with turkey, a bird that he was really starting to hate.
Now he was sprawled on the couch, his leg resting on the coffee table ("For this time only," Mrs. Geller said sternly. "You're not permitted to put your foot up there any other time."), and he stared blankly at the TV screen while waiting for his mother to come over and pick him up.
Chandler sighed, wishing that Ross could just drive him, or that he could drive himself home. But Ross was out doing some Thanksgiving errands, and obviously, driving was out of the question for him, because half of his foot has been hacked off. Well, not half, exactly...
"Hi, Chandler." A voice interrupted his thoughts. "Mind if I sit next to you?"
He glanced up to see his best friend's sister, still dolled up in her little dress. "Sorry, but my imaginary friend Larry is on that spot," he deadpanned. He didn't really want to talk to her right now, not after he just caused the demise of his toe and was another factor of why Thanksgiving was a terrible holiday...
Monica frowned, glancing at the empty spot next to him. But she decided to sit next to him anyway. "So, about your toe..." she began nervously.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"But..."
"Really, Monica," Chandler snapped. "I'm tired right now, and my toe has been chopped off a few hours ago in a way that would put The Texan Chainsaw Massacre to shame, and haphazardly replaced by a moldy chunk of carrot. In case you haven't noticed, sweetheart, I'm not really in the mood to talk right now." Frustrated, he blew a particularly long strand of hair from his eyes, somehow escaping the thick layer of gel and hairspray he had applied earlier that day. He nodded at her presence on the couch. "Plus, you're sitting on poor old Larry."
Monica sighed. "Look, Chandler, I'm sorry," she said sincerely. "I know everything is horrible for you at the moment, but can I do anything to make you feel better?"
"Anything, huh?" Chandler pretended to ponder on the question. "Well...why don't you go to your bedroom and...oh, I don't know...leave me alone, maybe?"
The raven-haired girl winced. "Would you like some mac and cheese?" she offered halfheartedly.
The college boy mocked gratitude. "Why how sweet of you, Monica! But my answer is...no, thank you." His eyes fluttered shut in exhaustion. "Are we good? Yeah? Okay, buh-bye then, Mon."
"Do you even want an explanation on why I was acting so weird?" Monica finally burst out. "Do you want to know what lead to the event of me chopping off your toe?"
Chandler was not interested in the slightest. "Homicidal tendencies? Some weird habit of hacking parts of people's anatomy off?"
"No, you dunderhead," Monica growled. "I was trying to flirt with you."
At that, Chandler's eyes sprang open instantly. "What?"
"You heard me." Monica's voice was nothing if not determined. "I was flirting with you, okay?" She paused, and added shyly, "Rachel coached me on how to do it, and maybe I did it a bit wrong."
Chandler was stunned. "You can say that again. But..." His eyes trailed down the younger girl's earnest face to her model-thin body. "...why?"
Monica shrugged. "The usual," she stated, trying to sound unconcerned, as if she hadn't plotted out her master plan of getting him naked and tossing him outside. "I thought you were cute."
Chandler looked interested. "Really?"
Monica sighed. "Yes. In fact, I thought you were cute since last year, when Ross asked you come over. When," she added with a tinge of resentment to her voice, "I was still fat."
Chandler swallowed. He remembered a little something he told Ross when they were hanging out in the kitchen. He eyed Monica warily, but there seemed to be no knowledge of that incident in her strangely hypnotic blue eyes. "Yeah. I remember."
Monica eyed him thoughtfully. "So, are we okay?" Monica asked. "Bygones be bygones, all is forgiven?"
Chandler finally grinned, his sour mood lifting away slightly. "I guess so."
His best friend's little sister smiled at him, and she stood up. "Yeah, well, I guess I better go to bed," she said, stifling a yawn. She smirked at him slightly and, quick as a flash, kissed his cheek. "Good night, Chandler."
She didn't wait for his response. She merely turned and walked away.
Chandler placed a hand on his cheek, warmed by her touch. He watched her figure as it retreated farther and farther away from him.
"Hmm..." Chandler sighed, slouching back on the couch. "Maybe Thanksgiving isn't so bad after all." Letting out a contented sigh, the college boy closed his eyes again, leaning on a couch cushion for a nap.
Suddenly, someone joined him on the couch. Chandler didn't open his eyes, but he softly said, "Mon? Is that you?"
"No..." A voice rasped. "My name is Larry..."
Chandler's eyes snapped open again, and he whipped his head to see a guy with...with...
A turkey for a head.
Chandler stared at the turkey man. The turkey man stared at Chandler. (Well, no, not really, since it didn't have eyes, but still.)
Screaming, Chandler fled the room, forgetting about the pain in his foot and planning to call Mr. and Mrs. Geller, the cops, FBI, a shrink, and everybody on the phone book.
Chuckling, Ross removed the turkey from his head. "Happy Thanksgiving, Chandler!" he called out to him.
After all, no one can get away with calling his sister fat.
So...what do ya think? Seriously, Mondler is my favorite pairing in the world of TV sitcoms. The chemistry is just so...wow. They are so freaking sweet and funny. Anyway, please review! :)
