Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon. I don't own original content. Steal it all, I won't care.

I AM CAROLINE

By Diana Moon Glampers

Chapter 1

Fatal

Click.

Click.

I was at my computer, browsing the internet. My name is Caroline, but everyone I know calls me Cara. I don't have a job. I flunked out of college. I live with my parents and lock myself in my room all night. I don't get out much. I tend to sleep during the day and spend all my waking time when my parents are asleep. I was also a huge fan of Pokémon. I'd been playing since Generation 1 and I'd been hooked ever since. My favorite Pokémon was Lucario.

Click.

Click.

I was at my computer. It was 4:30 in the morning. There was this website, this place where you could find any picture of any Pokémon. It was my favorite website. I could spend days there, just looking at all the hundreds of sets of pictures, over and over again. It was addictive, like drugs for the soul. Drugs are bad for you. Some people will tell you that they're fun and safe, but they aren't. This website, it seemed fun and safe, but it wasn't.

I was sitting in front of my computer and I hate myself.

Click.

I don't know how it happened. I hate Lucario. I love him too. He's my favorite Pokémon, but I also hate him. I want him to do bad things to me. I want him to do terrible, nasty things that would kill me. Somewhere along the line, I developed fetishes. People will say that I was born with them, but I don't know. What hell drives someone to WANT to get killed by an aura dog? I don't know. I don't know if I'll ever know. Was I just born this way? Was I fucked up from the beginning? Or was it the result of something different?

I am disgusting, a disgusting human being. I am an ugly, horrible, piece of shit. I was about to cry. I was sitting down in front of my computer, naked.

Click.

"Cara, what's wrong?" It was Lucario, my favorite Pokémon. He talked to me sometimes. I know he was part of my imagination, but I sometimes I wondered if he was something more. He materialized in front of me. "Cara, are you okay?" He said. Click. I pulled up a picture of Lucario. He was standing in front of Renamon. They both had throbbing erections. Heat coursed through my body. My eyes hurt. I didn't want to look. They were full of tears. My hand moved on its own, like it not part of me.

I hate myself. I hate myself so much. I want to die.

Lucario grabbed me by the arm and pulled. "I can help you, Cara." He had a throbbing erection, just like how he did in the picture. He knew all my pressure points. He knew exactly how to please me, how to kill me. He was the only one. In a single pull, Lucario tore off my arm. Pain. It hurt, but it felt pleasant. He did some nasty stuff with my arm hole. That hurt too, but it was ecstasy.

That was one of my fetishes, amputees. Nubs, dismemberment… I loved that stuff. I hated myself for loving it. I wanted an aura dog to sever my limbs. I wanted him to fuck my wounds. I wanted him to shove my nubs up his tight little doggie ass. What the fuck was wrong with me?

Sometimes I didn't even know who I was. I wasn't always like this. I used to not even think about sex. I used to be afraid of it. I'd get freaked out if I saw a guy just not wearing a shirt, or even a girl in a bikini. I used to dread sex, dread the human body. Now I can't stop thinking about sex.

Sometimes I'd try to convince myself that this was normal and that there were others like me. The internet was good for that. No matter what you're into, there's at least one other person out there just like you. It tends to feed things like this, like it tells you that your urges are normal and natural. My urges feel normal. They happen all the time, every day. I don't know if they're natural, though.

"Cara, what's wrong?" Lucario said. "I'm thinking too much." I said. He removed his penis from the hole where my arm used to be. I was covered in blood and his seed. "Don't cry, Cara. You'll always have me. No matter how bad you feel, just come to me and I can make you feel better." Lucario said. He hugged me. "I'm here to protect you, okay? You are who you are and nobody can change that." "Yeah, I guess." I said.

Back to reality. My arm wasn't severed. I wasn't covered in blood and cum. I was at my computer, completely naked. I had stopped crying, but my face was still wet. I looked over at the clock. 4:55 a.m. I was ready to go to bed now. I tried to smile. I tried to tell myself that no matter how bad things got, I always had Lucario. He would always be there for me. He could show me love and pleasure that no other being could possibly give me.

That smile was a lie. I was only lying to myself. Stupid, ugly, piece of shit, Cara…