Determination and love. Chapter 1

Katie pov

"Shhh….." Kendall told me. I put my hand up to my mouth to quiet the whimpers. He tucked me under the bed as two burley men walked into the room. I peeped through the footboard to see them through a crevice of light.

"We got another one in here boss. What you want us to do with him?" One called out in a heavy Brooklyn accent.

"Nothing my loves you've already taken care of the other three, I want this one to come with me. I haven't decided on whether he dies yet." A blonde woman said who was no older than my brother, dressed as a sexy bad ass. Her golden hair was fanned out in a Farah faucet way. She had on a leather jacket which was open so you could see her purple tank top. She had black jeggings with a loaded gun tucked into her snake skin belt and paten leather black peep toe pumps with purple under soles. She could have been beautiful… (They walked out of the room), if she didn't kill my big brother and his friends.

"Bang!" went newly unloaded gun I assume killing my brother. Silent tears flooded my face. I hated that woman. I would never forgive her. She was a bitch. A cold hearted bitch.

Suddenly I woke to my bright blue room, my face streaked with tears. I always had this dream around the same time every year…. His birthday…. I grudgingly threw the comphorter off me and headed out into the main part of apartment 2j. I inhaled and smiled.

"Mmmm mama, are you making bacon?" I asked in a serene dream land I practically floated over to the kitchen to see my mom cooking my favorite breakfast in the world.

Chocolate chip pancakes and bacon

Not the thing that kept me in top modeling condition but I had to give in! Who wouldn't? I began to stuff my face with the deliciousness.

"What wrong hunny?" my mom asked as she wiped the remaining wetness off of my face.

"Just the dream again mom, its nothing." I said as I took another bite nonchalantly.

"And just when I thought they were over. You know you never did tell me what the dream was about?" she asked in a poking way. I was about to go into shut down mode but I couldn't I have to go shopping for my trip to Minnesota with Cassandra.

"I told you mom it was about when they killed him." I couldn't say his name. That would just shut me down for weeks.

"I know hunny but you've never told anyone what happened. I don't know who they are or anything that went down. The cops had to take the Diamonds'' security tapes, and are not allowed to tell me what happened. Im in the dark."

"Believe me mom; this is not something you want to know details about." I said as I turned to walk to the bathroom to get ready.

"Please hunny-"she started which made me turn to look at her pained and anguished face. "Just tell me how you survived." I stood and just stared. Then I put on a fake smile and said.

"Hey while im out today do you need me to pick up anything before I leave for home?" she sighed and shook her head signifying that she did not need anything. I went into the bathroom shut the door leaned against it and slid down as I burst into tears. It should have been me, not him. I was 12 he was 15! It wasn't supposed to happen this way! He was supposed to move here and become the group "big time rush" with our best friends that we have known forever. Carlos, James, and Logan. He had so much ahead of him. It should have been me. After a while I gained composure and got in the shower. My phone beeped. I got out, turned off the shower and answered my phone.

"AHHHHHHHHHH" was screamed into the phone by Cass.

"JESUS CHRIST! Cass I have working ears you know!"

"Do you have a working mouth because I did NOT hear them say that you were dating LUKE RYAN? And MY ears are working perfectly fine." Huh Luke? He was my best guy friend.

"CAS! What the HELL are you talking about?" I said in a slightly annoyed tone.

"KAITE! It's all over TMZ! Are you telling me it's not true?" I made a shocked face, and then realized she couldn't see me.

"IT'S NOT TRUE! They must have just caught some pics of us hanging out. So maybe I held his hand… what's the problem with that? Anyway I need to go get ready ill see you in…"

"3 minutes im in the elevator." I hung up the phone and got dressed as I herd my mom talking to cas. Then she walked in and I was straightening my hair.

"Hey I said, whiled applying my mascara with my mouth dangling open. (What? every girl does it!)

"So Luke eh? Never knew you had a sweet spot for him?" she said in a flirty voice.

"I DON'T! Well ok maybe I do. But were not going out the press isn't even supposed to know that we know each other cas." She gave me a depressed look.

"What savages-"I gave her a confused look "there hounding you from outside, LOOK!" she said as we pointed outside. I sighed knowing it would one day come to this.

"Let's just go out the back." I said as I grabbed my keys and we left.

****TIME SKIP TO AFTER SHOPPING****

I went to go pack my things after dinner and cas had left. I walked up to my suitcase and on top was my old jean jacket. It has two green and pink sequin cherries on the back of it. The collar was popped like I always wore it. I don't understand…

FLASHBACK

"Katie!" he whispered fiercely. I mumbled something rude and he shook me.

"What do you want Kendall? I asked meanly.

"I had a dream about lucky, he wants us to go see him." Well I couldn't argue with Kendall's dreams because they were normally spot on.

"Alright let me get my jacket." I grabbed my favorite cherry jean jacket and flip flops and headed out the door.

"Seriously Katie? Flip flops it's almost winter!"

"Silly silly boy… flip flops are any whether shoes." He rolled his eyes and we made our way to the cemetery. I got warm so I took off my jacket as I set it on a near bye gravestone. When we left I forgot my jacket. I shook it off and went to sleep. The next day on the walk to school with cas, Logan, Kendall, James, and Carlos I went to grab it. But it wasn't there.

END FLASH BACK!

I picked up the jacket that held so many painful too remember memories. There was a little slip of paper under it.

"Thought u might want this back at some point. Don't ask questions. Don't tell anyone about this. Just accept it." It was not signed…. I felt comphort knowing that this was another thing that I could add to the dwindling pile of things that reminded me of him and not in a painful way. I packed my suitcase, and went to sleep. I woke early the following morning to cas, my mom and Luke all waiting for me, and we left. I was on my way home.

A/n

I really hope you like it! My last dance is tomorrow night. Ill post pics. Who wrote the note? Who was the blonde girl? What do you think? What will happen? Well I know! Do you? Review! I will update faster if you review!