Disclaimer: I don't own it, yadda yadda yadda. Don't rub it in. --
"Senpai?" Haruhi tossed the blonde an inquisitive look, which was passed by unnoticed, as Tamaki was currently clutching his head, grimacing in pain.
"My brain…" he whispered pitifully, blue eyes growing wide in panic, "I should have seen this coming. I should have worn earplugs to bed… After all, the handsome ones are always the first to go…"
Kyouya appeared at Haruhi's side as if on cue, folding his arms over his chest and looking at his friend with carefully concealed exasperation. "What is it now, Tamaki?"
The Host Club president began to thrash around violently on the floor at this point; emitting short shrieks at random intervals.
It looked like he was having a seizure.
By now he had gathered the attention of Hikaru and Kaoru, who had been in the middle of organizing the costumes for the day. The fiendish pair stood on each side of the wailing boy, bored expressions pasted onto their identical faces.
"Tono, I thought we told you not to sniff the permanent markers," said Kaoru with a sigh. His twin crouched down, and then began to poke Tamaki's leg repeatedly. (This was hard to do, as his target was still writhing in agony.)
"The aliens… The aliens are in my brain! It's going to explode! EXPLODE!"
The four Host Club members (Mori and Hunny were still at kendo club) stared at Tamaki, faces blank.
"…An extra terrestrial has burrowed its way inside of your brain?" Kyouya asked slowly, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Just how has this managed to occur?"
Tamaki sprang up off of the marble flooring and grasped the front of the Shadow King's jacket with tears in his eyes, "It must have happened the same way it did to Captain Wayne, the good-looking man on the spaceship. He was lying in bed asleep, dreaming about the young Miss Delaney and –"
"–Tiny alien life forms entered his brain through his ears?" Finished the dark-haired boy, tilting his head so that light glinted off of his glasses.
"YES!" the blonde screamed, letting go of the Ootori heir so that he could grab at his skull once more. "I'M GOING TO DIIIE! BITS OF MY BRAIN WILL LITTER THE ROOM AND STAIN MY POOR DAUGHTER'S SHIRT–"
Kyouya really had no time for this. The doors of the third music room were scheduled to open in only fifteen minutes, and they weren't even in costume yet.
"Did you, by any chance, happen to buy that commoner movie I specifically told you not to watch? The science-fiction film that I said would give you nightmares?"
Tamaki stopped what he was doing to look up at his best friend guiltily. "Well, yes, but…"
"There's a reason it's called science-fiction, Tamaki. It's not real. Your head is not going to explode."
For a moment, the only sound in the room was Hikaru and Kaoru's laughter. The twins were doubled over, tears streaming down their faces. They couldn't even get a single word out.
This was probably a good thing.
Tamaki stood, a look of utter disbelief on his face, as though Kyouya's words had slapped him. "But my head… it hurts…"
"Oh, you must simply have a headache, senpai," said Haruhi, reaching over to a nearby table to grab a plain, dull brown messenger bag that had been thrown unceremoniously on top of it. "Hang on; I think I have some Tylenol in here somewhere…"
The Host Club stared in fascination as the Natural Type removed a small bottle and began to fiddle with the safety lid.
"I always have some with me, because I tend to get migraines a lot when I'm at school. This has actually only started recently, though I don't know why. Over-studying, perhaps? Something like that. Ah, here we go." The lid came off with a sharp 'pop', and rested casually in Haruhi's left hand. "Now, how many to give you… I'm pretty sure two will suffice."
A couple shakes of the bottle, and an identical pair of blue and red capsules was sitting where the lid had been.
Haruhi offered her hand to the astonished Host Club King, "There you are, senpai. That should last about eight hours."
Tamaki looked from the pills in Haruhi's palm, to her smiling face. Pills. Face. Pills. Face. Pills. Face. Pills.
Then, very hesitantly, he began to stretch out his arm to take them.
"Commoner medicine? Is that safe?" Hikaru questioned, elbowing Tamaki out of the way to study the offending drug. "Tono, I think you're better off calling your doctor instead. I'm sure that's more reliable. Have you heard the side-effects of brand name medicine?"
"He's right, milord." Kaoru chimed in, draping an arm around his brother's shoulders, "This stuff could be dangerous."
Haruhi rolled her eyes, starting to get annoyed. Only the Host Club would turn a kind offering into Let's Make Fun of Commoners! "C'mon, guys. I take it all the time."
"Well, that's fine if you take it, but giving it to another student is illegal at this school." Kyouya stated, his unruffled air making Haruhi shudder involuntarily.
With an aggravated sigh, she closed her hand into a fist and transferred the Tylenol back to where it came from, tossing the white plastic container into her bag. "Fine. He can go to the infirmary if it gets unbearable."
"No! It's okay! I want to take the commoner pills!" Tamaki squealed, having just had an 'Inner Mind Theatre' with his so-called "daughter" dressed as a nurse.
Kyouya flipped open his black notebook, then glanced at his watch. Ten minutes. "Hikaru, Kaoru. Show Haruhi her costume for the day. I'm going to call Mori and see what's holding them up."
And, just like that, everything was back to normal. Kyouya was on his cell phone, Haruhi was complaining about her clothing (or lack thereof), the Hitachiin brothers were teasing said girl, and Tamaki was on another planet entirely.
"Heehee, Haruhi. Want to feel my pulse?"
Yep. Back to normal.
A/N: This was written at midnight last night (this morning?), and seemed funny at the time. As I've said before, comedy isn't my strong point. xD If you want, I'll never EVER do it again. You can control what's written if you'd like. The more ideas I get, the better, since I plan on updating every day. Heh. We'll just see how that goes.
