Fiendishly Brandishing a Spoon
A/N: A little baked Alaska-ish commission that fits right into my Hitman Au, which I've been gushing about on tumblr for a couple months now.
And hey, if you like my fics, consider backing me on , or maybe lining up a commission of your own? Every dollar goes towards getting a young lesbian into a better home. (Fine, I admit it, the lesbian is me)
Neo shivered slightly, her drink-addled mind not quite connecting her state of complete undress with the chill in the air.
In truth, all she could focus on was the bottle in her hand, still about a quarter full of vodka that had gotten warm nearly an hour ago.
She takes a long look around her apartment and, for a moment, she considers just going to bed and sleeping it all off.
And then a tune starts to play on the other side of the room, a song from her homeland about a woman finding power and love, and she scrambles to her feet.
A part of her wonders why Yang would be texting this late, but it was definitely the ringtone she'd assigned to the blonde's number.
-Hey there! Red dress or black one tomorrow?-
Neo smiled to herself, noting the blonde's strict adherence to their little codes, red meaning a loud job and black meaning stealth…
Though she really shouldn't have mentioned dresses… Now if they needed formalwear, she'd have to wear a suit, and Yang didn't have any suits, and none of hers would fit her…
Neo nodded to herself as she began to type out a response.
/
Yang was not having the best day…
Well, it wasn't bad, really, it just felt like she'd been on the move all day, and she wanted nothing more than to nap.
'Nap' in this case meaning to be completely dead to the world for the next…. Five, six weeks?
Unfortunately, she and Neo had another 'job' tomorrow, one that'd easily cover rent for the next couple months…
Assuming they survived, of course. That was always a risk, which was why she liked to check all her equipment the night before each job… which didn't help much if Neo wouldn't tell her what the plan was.
She tossed her phone on the bed as she started to change, letting out a long sigh when it went off nearly as soon as it had touched the comforter.
Neo had a real talent for irritating her.
An image comes, unbidden, of pale, creamy skin moving over toned muscle, and Yang pushes it away in favor of checking the message.
-You're too tall, you won't fit im gonna have too cut you down-
Yang blinked.
'What in the… what is she talking about? And why is she texting like Nora?'
She shrugged and typed out a quick reply.
-You okay? What're you talking about?-
Neo's response was immediate, and just as worrisome as the previous one.
-Like I said you're too tall we're gonna have to cut a bit off you to fit sorry but these things happen in partnerships like ours-
Yang swallowed and reached for the pistol she kept under lock and key in her desk, skilled fingers and hours of practice making the act routine and quick.
If Neo was talking about cutting her down…
She chambered a bullet and bit her lip, checking the magazine even as her thoughts were on the fight she seemed to have coming.
She silently thanked whatever gods there were for Weiss deciding to invite Ruby over that night.
'If she wants to do this… Well, she'd better be ready.'
Yang swallowed again, biting back the fear.
Neo was a better shot, and faster, and more experienced and…
She shook her head and steadied her breath.
She could put up a good fight, at least… and she had home advantage, she could do this.
The real question was, how was she going to get by without her-
Her phone buzzed again, and she leveled her gun at the door as she reached over to check it.
Neo had drilled the old 'Only idiots and corpses shoot with one hand' thing into her head time and again… But she was pretty sure she could get one good shot off…
-Aw, where did you go? I missed you!-
Yang leapt up, lilac eyes darting around the room for any signs that Neo had 'missed', and way to try and figure out her position, or-
She blinked. Her window was still closed… there weren't any holes in it she could see, and her room didn't have anywhere Neo could hide…
She typed out a quick response.
/
Neo giggled quietly to herself as the tune played again, smiling widely.
It always felt so… fun to talk to Yang. Her chest warmed up and everything seemed more vivid…
Just the kind of thing she needed on a cold, lonely night like this.
-Neo? Are you feeling okay? What are you talking about?-
She blinked at the phone, wondering what Yang meant.
Of course she was okay! She felt warm and fuzzy all over, and she still had a little bit of the… the stuff in the bottle, and Yang was talking to her, and…
She stretched as she let out a long yawn.
She was kinda tired though… and didn't really feel like typing much...
Hm.
How to let Yang know she was okay without having to type a lot…
/
Yang eyed her phone as it buzzed again, but still kept her gun leveled at the door.
Though she dropped it entirely once she saw what Neo had sent.
Her almost completely shorted out mind noted that apparently even people with nearly no tan did, in fact, have tan lines.
And that Neo had the beginnings of a six pack going.
And that the pink in her hair was nearly the exact same shade as-
She groaned and tossed her phone aside.
Why did Neo do these things to her? What had she possibly done to deserve this?
A small part of her points out that she's an assassin for hire, but she ignores that in favor of the current problem.
She picks the phone back up to send a scathing message, and that's when she notices the bottle in her partner's hand.
Which would handily explain why she'd been acting so weird…
She sighed to herself as she typed out a response.
/
-Neo, you're drunk. Sleep it off, okay? I'll call you in the morning.-
Neo blinked down at the blonde's response for a long moment, slowly feeling the warmth drain from her.
Had she annoyed her?
Sure, she usually liked to do that, but that was all in fun, she didn't want to actually irritate her partner…
She bit her lip and lurched to her feet. Yang was right, she needed to just sleep and try to work things out tomorrow-
Her phone rang again, and she can't help but grin when she checks the message.
-Yknow, it seems pretty cold there… and I don't really want you drunk around all that dangerous stuff. Wanna come over? I can put on a movie.-
She typed back a quick 'sure' and started looking for her keys…. But another text stopped her.
-Okay, I'm on my way… bringing the bike, so dress warm, okay? Or, warmer than you are, at least… and please, no puking on my couch, okay?-
Neo smiled and headed for her bedroom to get ready, already eagerly anticipating leaning against the blonde as they watched whatever movie she picked.
Yang always did make the cutest faces when she got all affectionate…
