A/N: This is a new thing I'm doing just because I can and also to genuinely help people. (Shout out to Gustpetal for inspiring me to do this.) For further explanation on what this is, just read it.

WARNING: Contains spoilers for Omen of the Stars.

Firestar grimaced as Hollyleaf started up the camera. It wasn't that he wasn't proud of his granddaughter for getting a job on the Warriors Fanfiction Advice Guide Show (in fact, he was very proud of her), it was just that he wasn't even sure why he was doing this. But after a few moons in StarClan, it got boring, so when a mysterious voice in the sky had asked him if he wanted a new job, he jumped at the chance.

When he discovered it was actually a Twoleg who wanted him as the star of his advice show for writing Warriors fanfiction, he wasn't exactly thrilled. But after the Twoleg, who claimed to be called VolcanicPizza, told him he'd guarantee him fame, fresh-kill, and a comfy place to sleep each night, and added that a bunch of other cats he knew had already agreed to it, he couldn't exactly say no.

"Okay!" yowled Hollyleaf, holding up three toes. "We're on in three... two... one..."

Firestar looked over the script on the desk one more time, shifted his buttocks nervously on his chair, and then fastened a cheery smile on his face and looked right into the camera lens.

"Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Warriors Fanfiction Advice Guide Show!" he started, the forced smile beginning to become a real one as he realized that hundreds of cats were watching right now. The smile slipped a little as he remembered that Twolegs would be watching this, too, but he forced himself to keep the cheesy grin on.

"I'm Firestar, and I'll be your host today." Off stage left, Yellowfang cued the camera. "And here's our script writer, VolcanicPizza!"

The camera panned over to reveal a typical teenaged boy finishing off the last of a bag of Doritos. He was wearing a black shirt and jeans and typing away furiously at his computer's keyboard. He looked up, nodded and grinned at the camera, then quickly gave it the finger.

"So that's where my bag of Doritos went." muttered Firestar. "I'll get him for that." As the camera panned back towards them, he continued, "This isn't a show to answer your questions about questionable pairings or what would've happened if Tigerstar hadn't been a murderous tyrant. This is to answer your questions about writing Warriors fanfiction... and NO, questions about Warriors mating lemons will NOT, I repeat, NOT, be answered. Those are disgraceful and essentially porn, and if you read them, you are one of the worst kinds of Twoleg that can exist!" Firestar was obviously passionate about the issue of Warriors mating lemons as he glared angrily into the lens.

"Hey, Firestar!" called VolcanicPizza from offstage. "Can you cool it? People are watching this, and I don't want them to flame it just because you punch the camera lens in."

"Right, right." Firestar settled back into his chair, wondering how he'd managed to squeeze himself into it, or indeed even sit upright. "We'll answer your questions about your fanfictions. Can't figure out what a character in your fanfiction should do? Ask! Can't figure out what the main Clan of your fanfiction should be? Ask! All we need are reviews asking us these questions. I can wait."

A/N: You heard the man. Review, and your question will be answered.