Feeback: Yes! Please! anything!
It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing...
Against All Odds
- by jenna -As papa would say, "Child, you were blessed with a head of blond hair." I never understood why that would make a difference. I do now. I don't look the least bit Jewish, and it is probably what kept me alive this night. I turned the corner when I saw a figure step out in front of me.
"Isn't it a little late for you to be out, young lady?" asked a Nazi officer with a cold tone.
"I was just on my way home, sir." I said with my best German accent and a smile, trying not to notice the glistening gun at his waist. His face broke into a slight grin.
"Go along now. It is late," he said as he turned and headed off.
"Thank you, sir." I said trying to hide the relief in my voice. As I looked down, I noticed my star of David necklace gleaming in the moonlight. I shuddered remembering what had happened to Helga, a friend of mine that had been killed by a Nazi. I quickly put it under my blouse.
I proceeded quickly to our small apartment on the third floor of our building. I knocked at the door lightly, so as not to wake the neighbors. My mama opened the door quickly and ushered me inside.
"This is the last time you do this to me Anna!" she whispered loudly, her color reddening.
"Mama, please," I said in a reassuring tone. "I never get into any trouble." I said, thinking of my encounter just minutes ago.
"No Anna, no more of this dancing nonsense. You are going to get exposed and something terrible will happen to you or us!" Her brow furrowed in a look of anxiety. I hated to see her looking like this. Ever since my brothers and father had been taken away, she never lost her worried expression.
"Mama, I do nothing wrong! I am just dancing with my friends," I tried to remain calm.
"What friends? How many would still have anything to do with you if they new you were a Jew?" she was almost crying now.
"Please mama, don't cry. I will not do anything foolish again." I said, my pity for this poor woman overcoming my passion for dancing.
"Thank you Anna, I know you will be a good girl," she said as she went to her room.
I sat down in one of our well worn chairs and lifted the side of the arm rest up. I pulled out my swing records and took off the covers. I had gotten these for a very good price down at the music store. Mama would die if she knew that I had spent part of my money on something for myself. I quietly lifted the pin of the record player and set the record in place. I stayed up for the best part of an hour listening to my swing music. Exhaustion finally caught up with me and I put them back inside the chair. I went to my room as I hummed one of the songs. I fell asleep thinking of that boy, Thomas, and his exceptional dancing.
"So she finally arrives!" Frueline VonMartine said sarcastically.
"Yes, I am here. Busy morning?" I asked as I took off my coat and hung it by the door.
"Not so much. Well, I'm off then. You'll lock up?"
"Yes. Have a good time in the country," I said. It seemed as if everyone was always going somewhere but me.
"To be sure! See you later."
"Goodbye."
She left the shop and I sat down at my designated place at the counter. The afternoon slipped slowly by at the bakery where I worked. At least she didn't make me bake anymore. That had been a disaster. I recalled faintly the time I cooked a spoon into a loaf of bread. A smile formed on my lips.
"What's so funny?" a voice asked, startling me back into reality. I looked up, it was Thomas!
"Oh nothing, just a memory." I said quickly as I felt the color flush in my cheeks.
"I didn't know you worked here. Are you going swinging again tonight, Annie?" he asked, his smile trying to hide his genuine curiosity. I remembered him asking my name. "Annie." I had said. I was glad he had remembered.
"Maybe. I might have to stay home and help my mother," I replied.
"Oh. Well, if you do, you can come with me and my friends. You met Peter last night, right?"
"Yes, he was very nice." I smiled at him.
We talked for ten minutes when I finally said, "Is there anything I can get you?"
"Oh, I kind of forgot about what I was here for." He pulled out a list and I got him what was on it. "So you'll meet me at the bridge tonight?" he asked, his voice hopeful.
"I'll try. Nice to see you again Thomas," I said smiling.
"Yeah, you too." He whistled the melody to a swing song I did not recognize as he left the store.
The rest of the day went quickly as I dreaded disobeying my mama. As the work day ended I locked up and headed home to change into my swing clothes. I went into the room I shared with my younger sister Rebekka. She was reading as usual. She was very smart for a ten-year-old. Every book she could get her hands on was read in a day or two.
"Are you going swinging again?" she asked, not looking up from her book.
"Maybe. Maybe not." I said mysteriously.
I opened our small closet and took out my red dress and matching shoes. They had been my mother's, but after I shortened the dress and made a few adjustments they were great for swing dancing.
"You are!" she said as she put her book down.
"Please don't tell mama, Bekka," I pleaded.
"You promised her that you wouldn't!"
"No I didn't, I just said I wouldn't do anything foolish."
Her dark eyes looked at me with disgust. I knew she looked up to me, but she was also appalled at what I did sometimes.
"I met a boy last night and he wants me to go swinging with him and his friends," I said excitedly.
"Really? Is he handsome?" she asked, her dark eyes glowing. I had her attention now.
"Yes, very. He's a very good dancer too."
"I bet he's not Jewish," she said with disapproval.
"No, he's not. But he doesn't know that I am either," I tried to pass this off smoothly.
"You could get caught Anna. I don't want you to go either."
"Well, I'm going anyway. I'll not live by a ten year-old's standards," I said quickly.
"Maybe you should. What you're doing is dangerous. I'll not forgive you if you get killed."
I was stunned to hear her talk like this. I had never seen such bitterness from her before. Her dark hair contrasted with her pale skin, and her eyes misted over with new tears.
"Bekka, I'm not going to get killed. Please don't cry, I'm always careful," I said in the same voice I had used with my mama the night before. I put my arm around her but she pulled away.
"When I come back we can listen to my secret swing records, all right?" I asked reproachfully.
"If you come back." She replied softly.
I left her there, sitting by the small window of our room.
"Annie?" his voice sounded quizzical.
"Yes? Did you say something?" I asked, remembering I wasn't alone. He laughed, so I did too.
"Are you working tomorrow?"
"Most assuredly. The owner is out of town and she actually trusts me with the store."
"Then maybe I'll come by. For bread of course," he added playfully.
"Of course," I said. We laughed again. I was troubled about what would happen if he found out about me. My mind wandered as we walked off of the bridge. I told him I had a wonderful time and I really had to go. He smiled and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek. I practically floated home.
"Bekka? Where's mama?" I asked as I gently shook her awake.
"She had to work late again, lucky for you," she said groggily.
"All right. Goodnight," I said softly.
In the morning I awoke with a strange feeling of uneasiness. The apartment was still. I got out of bed and walked into my mama's room. Her bed had not been slept in. I ran back into our room.
"Bekka, mama isn't home! Did she say anything to you?" I asked hurriedly.
"What? No she just said she was working late. She's not home?"
Her voice was alarmed. She got out of bed quickly and saw for herself that mama had not been in at all. Just then, a knock at the door made us both jump. I opened the door, expecting mama, but instead a sinister looking Nazi faced me.
"This is the notice for your mother. She was taken to a work camp last night," he said without expression.
"What? What has she done? Why have you taken her?" cried Rebekka.
"She had been stealing funds at the factory where she worked," he said menacingly.
I stepped foreword. "You know that is a lie! She was taken because she is the only Jewish worker left in the factory! She has done nothing!" I shouted in his face.
"You'll not address me like that or you too will be taken," he said coldly.
"When will she be home?" I asked, my voice just as cold.
"You will be lucky to see her again." With that, he turned and walked away.
My hatred turned to fear when I realized our predicament. I turned to Bekka, she had sat down on the floor and was sobbing. So much for a young girl to comprehend, I thought. I myself could not understand the evil that was at work here. What made a Jew so different from a German? I realized was to be late for work again.
"Bekka, I must go to work now. Stay home today and lock the door. Don't answer if it is not me."
"All right. I'll be fine." She said this quickly and stood up. I went to work with that terrible feeling of unease still lingering with me.
"Hello!" he replied jubilantly.
"And what, may I ask, brings Thomas's high spirits?" I asked , trying to mask my fears from the morning.
"A beautiful girl named Annie," he said as he leaned over the counter and brushed a strand of hair from my face. My face grew warm and I smiled at him pleasantly. He made me forget about my worries and we talked for quite some time. Everything was fine until he asked me to go swinging again with him that night.
"I can't tonight, Thomas. I..um..promised my mother I'd watch my little sister tonight." I wasn't totally lying.
"Well, I'll come over and help," he said.
"No!" is said quickly as I thought about the messy yellow star on our door. I must have said it to quickly, he looked down, I had hurt his feelings.
"Thomas, perhaps my sister can watch herself for a while." I said coyly. His manner brightened.
"Meet me by the bridge again, then?"
"Yes, I'll be there." I said as I gazed at his cheerful face.
My fear mounted when I went home and talked to Bekka.
"Someone came here," she said fearfully.
"Who?"
"I don't know. I didn't answer the door like you said. They just went away."
I thought for a moment. "Bekka, I have to go dancing tonight with Thomas," I said quickly.
"And leave me here? No! How can you go? Aren't you the least bit concerned about me?" she asked, her eyes wild.
"I had to say yes, he would have come here otherwise. I have to go." I said, my tone pleading.
"Please be careful Anna. I don't want to be alone," she said quietly.
"Don't worry Bekka, I'll be home soon." I hated leaving her alone, but I had to. A selfish part of me also wanted to dance with Thomas again. I forced myself into looking happy and normal. I had had to do it before, I could do it again. I would be pleasant and outgoing on the outside and worried sick on the inside. I hated this game I played with myself. It could only end in sadness.
"Thomas, I have to tell you something," I said, deciding not to lead him on any longer.
"What is it?" he asked. "I...I'm not...I mean, I think I love you too."
What was I doing? I needed to tell him, but I couldn't. He held me in his arms and my heart ached. I did love him, but he couldn't possibly love me if he knew what I was.
The week was uneventful. I went to work, came home, went swinging, and comforted Rebekka when she needed it. Thomas was my lifesaver. He inadvertently took my mind off of my problems and made me feel good again. He did love me, or who he thought was me, and I tried to tell him several times that he was in love with a Jew, but I could never get it out. I was Jewish by day, Swing Kid by night.
"Bekka, you will be all right by yourself tonight?" I asked, trying to sound cheerful.
"I'm always by myself, Anna. Is there nothing we can do to find mama?"
"We cannot do anything, Bekka. We can only pray for them now."
I held her for a few minutes and then noticed I was to be late if I did not go soon.
"I'll be home soon, Bekka."
"I know. Don't have to much fun," she said dryly.
"Don't worry. I could not have fun without my little Bekka tagging along," I said playfully.
"Goodbye, Anna," she said as I walked out of our quiet apartment and into the dark hallway.
Thomas didn't meet me at the bridge. He wasn't even at the dance hall. Neither was Peter. Perhaps they went somewhere else tonight, I thought to myself. Well, I wasn't going to let that ruin my evening. I danced for a while, but I couldn't have any fun without Thomas there. I decided to leave early. As I walked down the dark street I thought I heard someone behind me. I turned around.
"Hello," I said to older boy in front of me. My pulse raced when I saw that he wore and H.J. uniform. The menacing armband glared at me, an evil spider of hatred.
"Hello, what is a pretty girl like you doing out so late?" he asked me with a stupid grin.
"Just getting some fresh air. I'll go home now, thank you." I said nervously.
"Of course, I'll escort you home." He slid his arm under mine, not without brushing my side.
"That's quite all right," I said as I took my arm from his, "I can make it home just fine."
He grabbed my arm and turned me around. He touched my face and I grimaced as he drew nearer. I could smell whiskey on his breath as he took my arm again.
"I'd love to walk with you for a while," he said as he drew me closer.
"Please, don't. Leave me alone!" I shouted as he tightened his grip.
He suddenly let go. I fell to the ground and quickly stood up again. He grabbed my shoulder and looked at me strangely. I hadn't noticed my necklace when I came out from under my shirt. The star of David glistened brightly. He reached down for something and the next thing I heard was the shrill cry of a whistle as I ran down the street.
People were chasing me and yelling. I could barely see in front of me because of the tears streaming down my face. They were getting closer to me. Then I heard nothing at all.
I turned a corner and something hit me very hard in the head. A warm and sticky fluid mixed with my tears and I realized I was bleeding. It hit me again and I fell to the ground. Someone kicked me in the side and I curled into a fetal position to stop the throbbing pain. He was in an H.J. uniform. He reached for his whistle and stopped. I could see him bend down and brush the bloody hair from my face with trembling hands.
"Annie?" he asked weakly.
"Thomas, I tried to tell you...I couldn't.." I couldn't say anything more to him. Everything was very dark.
"You're a Jew?" His disbelief hurt as much as my head.
"Please Thomas, don't turn me in," I said, my voice shaking.
His voice grew cold. "You didn't tell me you were a Jew. I thought...I have to turn you in. You never told me you were a Jew," he said again with incredulity.
"You never told me you were a Nazi," I said through clenched teeth.
I heard footsteps and a second uniformed figure came into sight.
"Thomas, what are you doing? Isn't that Annie?" It was Peter.
"Peter, she's a Jew." He said this with dejection. Peter knelt down next to me.
"Annie, are you all right?" his voice showed his concern.
"I think so."
He helped me up. My steps faltered and Thomas reached out to steady me. He sat me down on a crate so I could lean against the wall of the building we were next to.
"Annie, I...I'm sorry." Thomas could think of nothing else to say.
"I should have told you. I tried, but I couldn't. I do love you," I said as his strong hands took mine. "I couldn't tell you because you wouldn't love me anymore, you'd look at me with hatred as you do now."
"I could never hate you, Annie," he said as he drew close to me. "I won't turn you in. I swear it."
He held me in his arms while Peter made sure no one else was in the area. They took me to the apartment and made sure my head was all right before they left. I had thought that Thomas would hate me for being a Jew. My head was full of unfinished thoughts about what I should do. We could not stay here now. I feared for my life and for Bekka's. We had to leave, but to where? All these thoughts stirred in my mind as I tried to get what little sleep I could.
"Papa, please don't go! Stay with me papa!"
"Anna, be a good girl for your mother while I am away. Your brothers and I will be home soon!"
"No! Papa come back! Papa.."
The images in my mind faded with my sleep but their meaning stayed with me. They would never come back. Neither would mama. Nor would we if we were captured. I couldn't risk losing Rebekka too. I could hear voices in our small kitchen. Voices? I looked over at Rebekka's bed, it was empty. I rushed into the kitchen, ready to find Nazis murdering my sister. Instead I saw Thomas and Peter talking jovially to Rebekka as she made some breakfast for them.
"Good morning, Anna," Peter's friendly voice said.
"Good morning," I replied, still somewhat bewildered.
Thomas came over and sat me down on a stool at the small kitchen table.
"Anna, we're going to get you two out of here before it's too late," the emotion in his voice touched me.
"Out of where?" I asked, not believing what I thought he meant.
"Out of Germany!" he said with enthusiasm.
"But how? And to where?" I asked, thinking it too good to be true.
"You'll go to Denmark by train. We've arranged everything. There is a small apartment alongside a house with a good family you can stay in. Everything's taken care of." His hopeful voice couldn't mask his subdued heart.
"Thomas, I don't want to leave you!" I cried. He put his arms around me and comforted both me and himself.
"Please, you should both come with us," I pleaded, even though I knew it couldn't be. Their faces showed that they had already discussed this in length.
"Anna, we can't. It's too dangerous. They might not notice that you leave, but if we were to leave, they would search for us. It's too risky," explained Peter.
"How can we ever thank you?" I asked.
"How can we thank you, Anna? You've showed us that Jews aren't inferior. You aren't any different than us, if anything, you're better. You don't hate and kill for no reason."
Peter's words lingered in the air for a few moments before Rebekka announced that breakfast was ready. We ate and talked about various things, trying not to touch on serious topics. The morning was dwindling and they decided that they should go.
"Anna, we'll come to get you at dawn. Be ready and packed," Peter told me.
I thanked him as he turned to leave. Thomas kissed me softly before they left. I watched them walk down the street through our small window. I didn't want to leave Thomas. I thought about how it would feel to be without him, alone.
Bekka touched my shoulder. I looked up and saw her smiling for the first time in weeks. I knew then that I was not alone.
THE END
