Ivan was patting on some aftershave when a loud rumbling shook his apartment. He turned around just in time to see a gigantic sphere-shaped robot walk past his street pursuing several tanks. He froze for a second, thinking about what he should do. Then he made a quick 180 turn and opened up the top drawer of his closet. He rummaged through some clothes until he found a small remote he hadn't touched in years. He faced the opposite wall and pressed a button on it. A bookshelf spun around to reveal…the place his suit should have been. "Chun-Yan!" he yelled.
"What, aru?" His wife asked from the kitchen.
"Where's my super suit?"
"What?"
Ivan groaned softly and tried again, speaking as articulately as he could with his thick Russian accent. "WHERE. IS. MY. SUPER. SUIT?" A zapping noise made Ivan turn to the window again just as a helicopter crashed in a loud explosion that lit up the room.
"I, uh, put it away aru," Chun-Yan finally answered.
"WHERE?!" Ivan ran out of the room and began searching the house. Chun-Yan responded in a suspicious tone.
"Why do you need to know?!"
"I need it!"
Chun-Yan bolted out of the kitchen with a wok in one hand and faced Ivan. "Uh uh, don't even think about running off to do some derring do! We've been planning this dinner for two months aru!"
Ivan pointed to the window, "Da, but the public is in danger!" before running off into another room.
Chun-Yan didn't budge. Placing her hands on her hips she said, "My evening's in danger!"
Ivan finally got fed up and poked his head around the doorway. A dark purple aura surrounded his head and the room chilled by twenty degrees. "You tell me where my suit is woman! We are talking about the greater good!" His aura disappeared and he ducked swiftly as Chun-Yan threw the wok at his head. It hit the wall with a loud BONG and left a dent at an inch deep.
"Greater good? I am YOUR WIFE! I am the greatest good you are ever going to get aru!" she screamed. Ivan sighed and looked back at the window, then at his furious wife. Desperate times call for either desperate or (lovingly) sneaky measures; Ivan opted for the second choice. He grabbed Chun-Yan and pulled her into a passionate kiss.
When they finally separated, he whispered, "Da, so let me protect you."
Chun-Yan blinked and shook her head to try and clear her kiss induced hazy mind. "…Hall closet, top shelf, aru."
Ivan kissed her forehead and ran to the closet, "Thank you sunflower."
I CAN write something other than USUK! *fist pump* I know there are probably better countries to play Frozone, but my train of thought went something like this;
"Frozone equals ice equals winter equals Russia"
I'm not kidding. O_O
Please review!
