Kinda sad and angsty, I know. But I heard this song and I've had some... emotional problems and this came out. I hope you guys like it. Tags to "Spelling Bee" and "One Maybe Two Ways Out"
Falling slowly eyes that know me and I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me and I'm painted black
You have suffered enough and warred with yourself
It's time that you won
-Falling Slowly (Once)
It had started out simple. A simple, little lie. He hadn't even thought it through. All he knew at the time was that he couldn't go to jail, he could not get arrested. So came the lie. "I'm Psychic." The lie was stated, and was believed. It started off simple, fun, and as a game. Soon it escalated. Taking over his entire life. His job, his person, and his mind.
"I'm Psychic." Even he began to believe the lie after a while.
"You're not Psychic," Gus said.
"Aren't I?" Shawn shot back.
"No, you aren't."
He was done with it after the one case. He promised Gus, and he promised his father. One was enough. He decided to get some breakfast one day, he sat in a café, drinking Pineapple juice, and making crawly snakes. He left for a few seconds only to come back to a beautiful young woman in his seat. "Excuse me? You're in my seat." He didn't know that sentence would change his life.
"Am I?" The blonde woman responds, not even looking up at him.
"Actually, yes you are." He stated matter-of-factly. She put down the newspaper she'd been holding, and she looked at him. Her eyes were crystal blue, and they made his heart stop.
"Are you one of those weirdo compulsives who come to the same restaurant, sit in the same chair, and eat the same food every day?" She smirks at him. He takes a deep breath and smiles. Not only was she pretty, she was smart as well.
"Uh, no... no, no. I was sitting right there three minutes ago, and then I went outside to get myself a paper. I ordered a juice, and... look, I made a crawling snake with the straw wrapper. You can finish it if you think you're up to the job." He told her quickly. Outside he was cool and calm, but inside he was overheating. He wouldn't be able to keep this up much longer. He and the blonde went on talking for a few minutes. Then she asked him to duck. He did and when she pulled out the gun, he froze. Detective Carlton Lassiter, the same guy who tried to arrest him, came in. He nodded to the blonde, Juliet, and left. So she was a cop? Interesting….
He continued the charade of being a Psychic, for her. Juliet O'Hara, Junior Detective of the SBPD. If he was Psychic, he could work with her. Brilliant huh?
He was digging himself a hole, one he wouldn't be able to get out of.
Years passed by and he got nowhere with her. He tried dating other women, but none compared to her. Not even Abigail, his high school sweet heart was enough. He stopped dating, continued the travesty, and never once did it occur to him that he was lying to Juliet. She went out with other men. More mature, older, and appropriate. Shawn began to lose hope of ever becoming hers.
"You think I don't want her to be happy? I want her to be happy. But—serious Shawn moment here—I want to be happy too, and for some reason I can't imagine that happening without Juliet." At the time he and Gus didn't know that Juliet was listening in. He made a big heartfelt confession and Juliet was still going to go on her trip with Declan.
"Take lots of pictures. Not of sights. Don't take pictures of buildings. Take pictures of moments, because that's what matters." That speech? Earned him a kiss. In the middle of Declan's living room. He and Juliet's tension from the past five years exploded and they became a couple. Both had their faults, but they loved each other. That was enough. Or it should have been.
"Tell me the truth." Shawn turned around and found Juliet at the door. Her feet planted to the ground, her blonde hair falling around her shoulders. She was stunning, the only thing that confused him… her eyes. They were watery and full of hurt.
"Uh what?" Shawn asked.
"I want the truth Shawn. Are you really Psychic?" His breath hitched. Why would she be asking him this? Of course he was… Wait. No he wasn't. He must have taken too long to answer for she turned and ran away. "Jules! Juliet!" he called chasing after her.
"You lied! For seven years Shawn, you lied to me." Shawn stopped. He'd lied to her. He knew he did, and now she did too. He couldn't bear to look at her, not when she was breaking his heart. "I trusted you, I loved you and you- you lied. Everything I know about you! Everything you told me! It was all a lie!" Shawn backed up as she became furious. All the hurt, sadness it was replaced by anger.
"I-I-I can explain Jules. Please." He begged. She shook her head and turned around.
"We're done Shawn. I don't want to see you again," She then walked away. Leaving him with a stunned and shattered heart. He deserved it; he told himself that at night when he cried. He deserved everything he was getting. Psych wasn't getting anymore clients, Juliet was gone. He'd messed up again. Before long the sadness went away and he was left with nothing.
He drank his problems away with alcohol, the strongest he could find. It wasn't enough. He screwed up. He found himself waiting by the door, wishing the Police would come and take him away. Shawn would be better off in prison. The Police never came, he grew skinner and weaker. Now he'd rather die. He wanted to die. Leave it all behind.
It was against everything about him. Giving up, not fighting. Who was he? He didn't know anymore. Fight, a voice urged. A voice that sounded like Juliet. He put himself together. He cleaned up, sobered up, and showered. He became semi like his old self. He put up a masquerade, a mask that would let nothing through. After some work, he got clients again. Some cases with the SBPD. He stayed away from Juliet though.
At least he tried.
"Shawn…" seeing Juliet in the store was certainly a bad thing. He hadn't seen, or heard her voice for three months.
"Jules." She winced at her nickname, but slowly softened up to him.
"How are you?" she asked. Wither she really cared or was being polite, Shawn didn't know.
"I'm okay. You?"
"Same," they both nodded. Shawn shifted and let his shoulder s sag. He needed to tell her.
"I never meant to hurt you Jules. I never did, and I'm sorry that it ended up like this. I was an idiot and… I hope you have a good life." He went to turn away but she said his name, and he stopped.
"I was the idiot Shawn. I over reacted, I should have let you explain everything." He turned to her fully. "I want to give us another try Shawn. We'll never be the happy couple we were. Not when you betrayed my trust. But I'm willing to try again, if you are." She was willing to try with him again? Even after all he did?
He didn't say anything. He couldn't. Instead he opened his arms and she rushed into them. Dropping her basket and wrapping her arms around him. Shawn hugged her to his body and kissed her head. God it was to have her with him yet again. "I love you Jules, and I'll be better this time, no more lies." He promised. She simply nodded, and dug her head into his chest.
Oh yes. Shawn Spencer was in a hole, one he would soon be so deep in; he'd need a million ladders to get him half way out. Not only was the hole deep, he found himself falling. He was falling slowly down the hole. And before you knew it he'd be lost. And no one could save him.
Sad? Maybe too sad for my usual writing, but I think it turned out great. Thanks for reading guys, it means a lot.
