Memory Loss

Everyone, except Willow, wakes up after they loose their memories. Spike falls off the counter. (Willow didn't loose her memory) Buff- "Where am I?" Willow- "Good, you guys are up and ok." Dawn- "Who are you?" Willow- "I'm Willow." Confused looks. Willow- "Wil-low. Friend." Everyone- "Ohhhhh?" Giles- "What happened?" Willow- "Uhhhh. I don't know? I think you lost your memories." Giles- "Don't worry. We'll get our memories back and every thing will be right as rain." Spike- "Oh listen to Marry Poppins here all up on his high horse with his nancyboy accent. You English men are always. bloody hell. (randomly bables on) Oh great. I'm English." Giles- "Welcome to the nancy tribe." Spike- "You don't suppose we are. we're not related are we?" Aunya- "There is a rugged hansom resemblance." Giles- But you do inspire a general feeling of familiarity and disappointment. Older brother?" Spike- "Father." Xander- "Who is everyone else?" Dawn- "Hey! I'm Dawn! It says so on my necklace." Buff- "I don't have a name. Oooooh! I know! I'll be Joan!" Dawn starts laughing. Buff- "What? What's wrong with Joan?" Dawn-" What kind of a name is Joan?" Aunya- "I'm Anya. It says so on this key and this key fits into this lock. It says Giles and Anya own this shop." Giles- "We must be married then." Spike- "This jacket says 'made with care for Randy.' Randy Giles?! Why not just call me horny Giles, or desperate for a shag Giles?! I knew there was a reason I hated you!" Giles- "Calm down son." Willow- "Ewwww!" Giles + Spike- "What?" Willow- "Look here everyone." Aunya- "Look were?" Willow- "Ok. Your Buffy. (points to Buff) You're a vampire slayer. You kill vampires. Everyone steps away from Buff Buffy- "Why would I want to do that?" Willow- "Because it's your destiny." Buffy- "Oh. Why is that my destiny?" Willow- "Forget it. Ok, you're Spike. (points to Spike) You're a vampire with a chip in his head." Everyone steps away from Spike Spike- "No I'm not!" Willow- "Yes you are and you hate everyone in this room. And Giles is defiantly not your father!" Spike- "I don't believe you." Willow- "Fine. Umph. It's pronounced Aunya. And you and Giles are not married. Aunya you're an ex-vengeance demon and Giles you're the watcher." Giles- "The watcher of what?" Willow- "Your Buffy's watcher" Buffy- "My names not Buffy, it's Joan." Aunya- "I'm an ex-demon? Coool!" Everyone steps away from Aunya Xander bumps into Spike and yelps. There's knocking on the door. Everyone follows Buffy to the door. Buffy opens the door. (there's a demon standing there) Everyone screams. Buffy slams the door. Buffy- "What was that?" Willow- "It's a demon. You kill them." Buffy- "What?!" Xander- "Hey. We never found out who we are." Willow- "Your Xander, the only normal one out of us. And." Xander- "Hey!" Willow- "Deal with it. And your Tara. We're in love and we're both wiccas." Tara- "What! Do you mean I'm gay?" Willow- "No." Tara- "Thank God." Willow- "You're a lesbian." Everyone steps away from Willow and Tara. Willow- "So. Does everyone know who they are?" Everyone- "Yes" Willow- "Now that that is done with what are we going to do about the demon?" Buff- "Right. Randy-" Willow- "Uhhhhhhhh." Buffy- "Look. If you don't like it tuff. We don't believe you. Now. Randy and I will run for our lives." Spike- "Wait a minute! Do you think I'm going to risk my life for some bleedin cowards?" Buff- "Yes" Spike- (in a whisper) "Bloody woman." Buff- "Then you guys get out of here and make Willow lie down and clear her mind." Willow- "But." Buff- "Shh." Willow- "But." Buff- "Nothing." Willow- "But." Spike- "Will you shut up?" Buff + Willow- "You!" Spike- "I wasn't talking!" Buff- "Well you are now." Spike sticks his tongue out at Buffy. Xander- "Stop acting like a bunch of children." Willow starts cracking up. Xander- "What's so funny?" Willow- "It's funny hearing you say that." Xander- "And why is that?" Willow- "You're the one always acting like one." Xander- (to everyone else) "I really don't like this Willow." Giles- "Well if you all are done fighting I really think we should put our plan into action." Buffy- "Right. Ready Randy?" Spike- "No." Buff- "Come on." Buffy and Spike run out the door. Demons start chasing them. Everyone else runs the other way. A demon tackles Spike. Spike throws him really far. Spike- "Look Joan! I'm a super hero too!" Buffy- "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.! (runs away) (to herself) She was right. . Ewwwww." Spike- "Where you going?" Meanwhile. Tara- "For the last time! I AM NOT YOUR LESBIAN LOVER!!! Watch!" Tara kisses Xander Tara- "Ew! Ew! Ew! That was not right." Willow- "I would think so." Xander- "I don't think so."

Meanwhile. Aunya- "Barabarahimblejimbunation" Bunny pops out of nowhere Aunya- "Look I made a bunny." "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.!" Giles- "It's only a bunny rabbit." Aunya- "So." Giles- "Bunny. Definition: soft, cute, gentle creature."

Meanwhile. Buffy- "Your. your. your. a vampire." Spike- "NO IM NOT!!! Why does everyone think I'm a bloody vamp?" Buffy- "Because you are one." Spike- "What?!" Buffy- "Sharp teeth, wrinkly face." Spike feels his face and teeth Spike- "But, but, huh?"

Meanwhile. Giles- "Will you stop conjuring up bunnies?" Aunya- "I would like to but they won't stop coming or having sex with each other!" Giles- "Fine, then just stay up there and keep making bunnies. That's a capitol plan." Aunya- "What's capitol? I never know what you're talking about. Brew, shag, brawly, what is all that?" Giles- "What? There's no way you could remember me saying any of that." Aunya- "Aww, bugger off you brawly."

Meanwhile. Dawn- "The ants go marching 20 by 20 hurrah, hurrah. The ants go marching 20 by 20 hurrah, hurrah. The ants go marching. Tara- "Oh, will you SHUT UP???!!!" Willow- "I don't think I like you when you don't have your memory."

Meanwhile. Giles is fighting an evil skeleton with a sword Giles- "Put that book down you hear!!! It's not that book!!! Put it far, far, far away!!!"

Meanwhile. A vamp is attacking Willow, Tara, Dawn and Xander

Meanwhile. Buffy is on Spike looking at him with disgust Buffy- "I kill you guys." Spike- "And I bite your kind. So how come I don't want to bite you? And why am I fighting other vampires? I must be a noble vampire on a mission of redemption. I'm a vampire with a soul." Buffy- "A vampire with a soul? How lame is that." Spike- (standing up) "I'm a hero really, to be cast such an ugly lot in life, then to rise above it. I mean look at us, sworn enemies with a lot of trust. No thought of me biting you. No thought of you staking me." Buffy- "That depends on how long you keep yapping."

Meanwhile. Giles- "vartus vengar marda waere" Everything that they made is gone Aunya- "I'm sorry Rupee. That was the wrong book." Aunya and Giles kiss

Meanwhile. Xander- (pushing Willow aside) "Get back. This is a man's job." The crystal falls out of Willows pocket Xander- (picks up a wooden board and starts hitting the vamp with it) "Why. Wont. You.DIE???!!! Willow picks up a piece of the board and stakes the vamp Willow- "Some man's job." Xander- "Well I could have done that." Dawn runs up and steps on the crystal; crystal shatters; everyone stumbles but willow

Meanwhile. Aunya and Giles are kissing. Eyes pop open. Both pull away from each other Aunya- "That was so wrong." Giles- "Yes, well, I really need to be going now. (grabs coat) Aunya- "Come back here!" Giles ignores her Aunya- "We're going to talk about this like two civilized adults." Giles is still ignoring her Aunya- "Now get back here before I kick your ass!!!

Meanwhile. Spike- "Yes, all would be lost if it weren't fo- Both slightly stumble Buffy looks up at Spike with confused eyes; turns around and storms off; trips; gets up, dusts herself off, and walks away

Meanwhile. Xander, Dawn, Tara- (sweeping, dusting, washing sewers) Tara- "This p-p-place really n-n-needs a g-g-good tidying." Willow- "Guys this is a sewer!" Dawn- "Hope you know we hate you!" Xander- "Well that's not a very nice thing to say." Dawn- "She made us lose our memories! We were almost killed!" Xander- "Oh, right. I hate you too!" Willow- "But guys." All ignore her Willow- "Tara?" Tara- (sad eyes) "I think I need to go." Tara leaves. Dawn- "I'm going home too!" Willow- "Dawnie-" Dawn- "I have some cookie-dough somewhere with my name on it." Dawn leaves Willow- "Xander?" Xander- "hehehe" (backs away, then runs) Willow leaves

Fin