A/N: Hey guys! LETHALove here! This is a Dexter fanfic. If you watch the show or read the book series, then you know about Dexter's brother, Brian Moser. In my story, he has a sister, not a brother. And it's in her point of view. For now, at least. Thanks for reading, and I LOVE comments, so please, comment away! Enjoy!

And somehow, the guilt still couldn't eat me alive.

No matter how hard you tried, the fear couldn't kill me inside.

The memories.

...All the blood.

What is there left to say?

You're sorry?

Do I have to apologize?

...No.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25 - 12:00

And I sit.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25 - 12:02

And I wait.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25 - 12:04

For something to happen.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25 - 12:07

My breathing slows, the temptation follows. My thoughts seem to cease from existence, and so does everyone else's. Quiet. I like it. It's nice. Seems to prove what kind of lifestyle I wish to have. Peaceful. Undisturbed. Forgotten by the kind of past I used to have. Nothing changes. Not anymore at least. I wish it did.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25 - 12:20

Somehow… nobody notices. Nobody stares. Nobody asks. Nobody seems to care. The definition of New York. I wish to leave, but I can't. It's perfect. It's my home. Unseen, unheard. So many people… a negative. But, it's all these people that remind of what I am… still a human. Whether it is hard to even tell anymore, I am. Unrepentant… unfaithful… how awful. I wish I was different. No, I am different. I wish I was normal.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25 - 1:02

I think about the silence. It's so soothing to my shattered soul. A cold burst of wind rushes over me, tickling my soft skin. It's windy today. But I'm not going to wear a jacket. The raw breeze reminds me of something… something so familiar. It's a feeling. A comfortable one. One that makes me feel at home, and at the same time, so far away from the place I truly belong. I don't belong here. But I deserve this icy, bleak air. I really do.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25 - 1:16

Behind my closed eyelids, I see horror. Reminiscences of blood-splattered clothing, dripping knives, and fading hunger. Hunger to hurt. Hunger to kill.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25 - 1:22

Why do most people fear being alone? I crave loneliness. But this selfish need, this selfish want, is impossible to have. I will never be alone. All I will ever hear are those hushed whispers of thoughts running through my head, those faint voices. As much effort and energy I put into shutting it all out, I will never succeed. Never.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25 - 1:28

Hallucinations surround me, and I watch as they blend into reality. Drawn into these faux images, I want to believe they aren't real. I want to know that I'm crazy; I need to know that what I see and what I hear classifies me as a schizophrenic. That is what I am, isn't it? These images, unseen by everyone else, show me the truth. They make me notice the broken-hearted lies, and the deplorable sins. I see the people hidden behind those piteous masks. But nobody sees me.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25 - 1:39

Nobody sees the truth. Nobody notices my condemnable lies and sins. Nobody sees who I truly am behind this beautiful mask. This mask pieced and sewed together by God. A monster created by a higher power, disguised with a body of enchantment and deceiving beauty. But through the small cracks, you can see the glimpses of imperfection. You get a slight glance of what's really there. Evil. The eyes of a devil, the soul of a villain, but… the heart of a hero. And that is what I will never understand about myself.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25 - 1:47

I know my soul does not fit my body. It's so misshapen and damaged, that it does not match up with this exquisite figure I've been put in. And every day, a feeling of deterioration flows upon me, underneath this worthless disguise the Lord has dressed me in. How pathetic I feel. How… flawed.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25 - 1:56

I'm a hero.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25 - 1:57

No, I'm a villain.

A/N: Copyright Disclaimer under Section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976: allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.