The legendary first chapter
Harry woke up staring at his ceiling. He lay there trying to remember his dream. In his dream was Hermione, Ron, and himself. It was a good dream, good and WET..."Wake up! Wake up!", shrieked his Aunt Petunia. She was always yelling at him. She wasn't happy until she had put him down at least three times before breakfast. He jumped out of bed and went downstairs, he went into the kitchen and took in what he was seeing. He saw his skinny Aunt Petunia next to his fat ass Uncle Vernon. On the other side was his Cousin Dudley. Whose ass was pouring over the side of the chair, like an overfilled bowl of pudding. He sat down next to Dudley. "Get up dar an' make me some bacon, bitch!", spat his cousin. So Harry brought the bacon over and threw it down in front of his lard ass, "That's a good bitch" Dudley replied. Dudley got up and left the room, shortly after, his mother followed. "I had better go check on my Dudders," she said. Then she opened the bathroom door, and Dudley jumped back and yelled, "Can't a guy masterbate in his house?
