CHAPTER ONE: HER OUTCAST STATE

She was hungry.

It was not the kind of hunger that tugged when one missed a lunch or the kind a misguided dieter felt when giving up that one meal to fit into the dress two sizes two small. This was real hunger. The kind that gnawed at your insides, that made you think you could feel the digestive fluids inside your stomach eat away at your flesh, devouring you instead of the food it craved. She could feel it through her bones, with each laboured breath she took.

Crouched in the corner of the freight car, she pulled her knees closer to her chin and tried not to think about hunger or cold. Even worse than that, she tried not to think about what awaited her in Metropolis once she arrived there. She had not given any thought to it when she scrambled through the open doors of the freight car. Taking refuge in the darkness, she had prayed the journey would begin before her pursuers thought to look for her there. All she could think of was escape. When the iron wheels of the train finally heaved into motion, with the great engine chugging away in her ears, only then did she know she was safe.

For the moment.

Of course, the respite allowed her to come off the adrenalin high she had used to carry her far and with that descent, she felt all the fears that held at bay during the last three days of her flight. Doubt began to set in with exhaustion. Furthermore, the reason to assess her situation and what tomorrow would yield when she reached Metropolis; made her wonder if she had not acted too hastily. At the time, all that mattered was her escape and with all her energy dedicated to that end, there had not been time to consider much else.

She knew of course that Hank would be worried when he heard she was gone and when she found him again, he might be angry with her for leaving. The girl shuddered at the thought of his fury but also at the consequences to him when they had discovered what she had done. Hank had given her everything. He had taken care of her and he had loved her. All that he had asked for in return was her cooperation.

She had not thought it would be so bad, to submit to a few tests. At first, they were hardly an inconvenience. She provided them with blood for a sample, the occasional physical and later an MRI. These were but tiny indignities she could endure because Hank loved her. However, with each passing day, there seemed to yet another test and the intensity of their scrutiny seemed to escalate until she could bear it no more and begged Hank to make it stop.

Yet it was beyond his power and he asked her to endure just a little longer if she loved him. Of course, she could not refuse. All her life all she ever dreamed of was someone to love her for what she was.

As a child, she was hidden away by parents who never quite able to love her enough to keep the revulsion from their eyes whenever they looked upon her. They sequestered her away in her room and allowed her to see no one for fear of the reaction. She spent the first eighteen years of life in seclusion, condemned to seeing the world through books and television, never being able to feel the sun against her face, not even once. She accepted this as consequences of her reflection in the mirror but it did not make it any easier to bear. There was so much loneliness and sorrow in knowing that as the years tumbled by, the reality of this isolated existence was all that life had in store for her.

Then she met Hank and everything changed.

Through her computer, she discovered the fragile friendships formed through an internet connection. Through cyberspace, there was no need to divulge her secret, no need for them to see her as anything but a girl, looking for a friend. However, Hank recognised her pain from the first and tapped into that part of herself that wanted more than just this outcast existence. Soon, he became her entire universe. She lived and breathed for his messages and each word he wrote to her, further unlocked her heart from the cage in which she was trapped for so long.

When he asked her to come to him, she did not even think twice.

She broke out of prison into a world she had only ever seen by glimpses through the window or on a television screen. Hank had been outside her house waiting for her, in a stretched limousine with a bouquet of roses and open arms. Her fears that he would hate her like everyone else on first sight was fruitless, he drew her into his arms and told her that he had been waiting for her all of his life. They left Seattle that night, flying across the country in a private jet. She did not know until much later that they had travelled to Gotham City.

He took her maidenhead before they landed.

Upon arriving in Gotham, Hank told her she would be beautiful and no one would ever look at her with disgust ever again. She believed him and with new operation, with each procedure, another piece of her was discarded for an even more perfect version of herself. When they were done with her, she had looked into the mirror, wondering how she could have been anything else. She was happy to be the woman that Hank deserved although he said often enough that how she looked meant nothing to him. He adored her just the same.

Of course, the operations had come at a price.

Hank was powerless to stop his benefactors from demanding the tests in exchange for the new persona she was given. He promised her that once they were satisfied with the results, she and Hank would go away together. Some place warm like Tahiti. She believed him and endured the poking and prodding, even when they grew more and more invasive and uncomfortable. When she begged for it to stop, they kept Hank from seeing her, saying that he was been sent to Metropolis.

It was the last straw. She broke free of her prison, shocked by the power that allowed her to do so but confident that if she found Hank, the two of them would be free forever. All she had to do was to get to Metropolis.

Once Valerie Beaudry found Hank, everything would be all right.