I knew I had to write this as soon as we went over the America Revolution in class, it was staring me in the face! I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia…

A Dear John, For England

It was just another day for England, although he has been having a hard time with America lately. He didn't mean for those acts and laws passed by his Parliament to mean any harm, honest. It's just trying to keep France away during the French and Indian War cost him tons of debt. He knew he was being a little harsh with America, but he would thank him someday for it. As England continued with his day with an afternoon of tea and scones, he found a letter on the table that read 'Dear Britain.' Of course curious as to what this was for, he opened it and began reading.

'Dear Britain,

Since the War a few years ago, I've noticed how much we've grown apart. You like tea, I drink coffee, you eat manure scones while I eat cheeseburgers which are totally a hero's meal- don't know why you give me that fish and chips crap when your chips are really fries. Also, I hate it how you leave me out of your entire decision making; seriously, I got some good ideas too, like making every Friday- wait for it… Casual Friday? Seeing the awesomeness yet? What about those super cool superheroes like Mega Man or Uncle Sam (Captain America can kick James Bond's ass any day)? Leonardo DeCaprio is smart enough to see genius and he painted the Mona Lisa. And she's really ugly! Plus your cooking sucks and the clothes you make me wear are tight and itchy. We do have cotton here to use! How come I can only hang out with you? Sometimes I want to talk to Spain, Dude! Seriously, that guy can party! You also don't know how to have fun and its creepy how you cast those creepy spells (Yes, I know you do that, you suck at hiding secrets. Also, I didn't know you wore bikini underwear).

So this is where it gets awkward… Yeah, I've sort of declared my independence this July and my buddies in congress kind of hate your guts. Mostly Jeffy T. since he wrote that Declaration with a bunch of complaints about King Georgie. Like how you're bossy, your people don't know how to bathe, I can't remember the last time you brushed your teeth, and you mumble curses in your sleep. That really scares me. I also can't talk to the other countries in Europe, what the hell's with that? So basically, we're gonna kick your ass out of the country and lead ourselves.

Hate your guts,

America

P.S.

I've been sleeping with France…'

England couldn't believe what he was reading… "How the hell did he find out about the bikini underwear?"