Greetings everyone! It's your favorite phony here and I've decided to bring you a little one shot I came up with. This one will be formatted differently but I just couldn't get the idea out of my head. If you enjoy it let me. Make sure to check down below for more information and I hope you all enjoy the one shot.
Now Onwards!
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(It's June 6th on a hot afternoon here in the kingdom of Vale and you've just arrived at the illustrious "RWBY" set, where the amazing web-series of the same name is currently being filmed and you've been hired on as an intern. You're wearing your best clothing, hoping to impress your boss, when you see him walk outside with a large stack of stapled papers. He sees you out of the corner of his eyes and motions you towards him. You hesitate a bit but manage to steel your nerves and walk confidently over. You open your mouth to speak but a raised index finger from your boss silences you.)
The Boss: Yes, I know who you are. No, I don't care about your life long dreams. Yes, I'm sure you're very happy to be working here. No, I don't want to see pictures of your pets. You're first job is to follow me and the most you're allowed to do is help when asked. It's your first day so you won't be put to hard work just yet. Speaking of which hold these.
(Your new boss, quick to diminish your words stuffs the stack of papers into your arms before walking off, muttering into his bluetooth earphone. You're quick to follow, making sure to have a good grip on the papers as your eyes wander around the massive set. Sets and backdrops fill the scenery as workers and technicians go about their business, when suddenly two Beowolves appear before you, their razor sharp claws poised and ready to strike. You quiver in fear when the two Beowolves turned towards each other and begin to laugh. The one of the left of you wipes a fake tear from it's eye.)
Mike: Ah, sorry about that. It's just always funny scaring the newbies. I'm Mike and this is Marty, we play Beowolves on the show.
Marty: Yeah, it's super funny. You must be new to the set, I mean we've never seen you before so you must be new and it's not like we'd ever scare a person not new. It just wouldn't be that funny.
Mike: Marty.
Marty: Yeah?
Mike: They get it.
Marty: Oh, sorry about that.
Mike: Don't mind him, he gets nervous from time to time around new people.
Marty: I do not!
Mike: Yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that. Listen, we've gotta get back to work but if you're ever in the need for a good prank check with Sun and Yang. See ya, Newbie!
Marty: Check ya later!
(The two "Beowolves" walk off past you to their next location, leaving you alone as you rush to catch up to your boss. You manage to find him at one of the makeup tables talking to the one and only Glynda Goodwitch!)
The Boss: Glynda, Glynda. I've already told you that you don't actually have to grade papers. Hell, I'm more surprised that you actually got the others to do the papers.
Glynda: Just because those children are actors does not mean they can skip out on school assignments. Just look at this, Miss Rose listed this as her reason for her late homework; "I got sick from eating bad cookies." A growing child requires the basic food groups and cookies are not among them.
(The ranting actress soon catches your presence as a stern look appears on her face.)
Glynda: And I suppose this is our latest addition to our crew?
The Boss: Yes, this is our latest member. They're interning here for a month, I'm giving them the grand tour and making sure they know what their job will be. You know, helping out with little errands here and there.
Glynda: You'd best be prepared for a very busy month. The most you'll likely accomplish is getting coffee for Bartholomew and Ozpin. Anyway, I'd better get back on set. Ozpin is most likely annoying everyone with that god awful Scottish accent of his.
(With a final nod towards you and your boss, Glynda reluctantly stands from her chair and walks back onto set, taking her place just to the right of Ozpin. You're so caught up in the scene that by the time you realize it, your boss is already walking off to the next location. You make to run after him when you feel a hand grip the back of your neck. A feeling of death and bloodlust wash over you as you slowly turn you head over your shoulder to stare into the bright yellow eyes of Blake Belladonna. You once again open your mouth to speak but quickly find yourself silenced as a blade just barely grazes your neck.)
Blake: Don't speak. Don't move. And you might just walk away alive. I'm in search of a very important item in possession of Ruby Rose. Do not ask what this item is but know this; I have a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a long period of time. Skills, that make me a nightmare for people like you. If I find out that you are in possession of my item then know that I will look for you, I will find you...and I will silence you. Do we understand one another?
(You go answer her but the tightening on your shoulder silences you.)
Blake: Do not speak.
(In compliance you slowly nod your head in agreement. The black-haired Faunus actress releases her grip on you, giving you a slight nod as she throws a smoke bomb on the ground, disappearing in the confusion and leaving you alone. You stand there slightly perplexed by the moment but shake it off as you rush to find your boss, speaking to both Jaune Arc and Pyrrha Nikos.)
Jaune: I just don't think Arkos is a good team attack name.
The Boss: And I say it sounds perfect. Besides it's prime shipping for the fans.
Jaune: What about Yellow Snow? Isn't that a great ship name?
The Boss: Jaune, there are three reasons you were hired for this role. Number one, you have great acting range. Number two, you're skill on improvisation is amazing. And number three, you give great input on various set designs and story changes. Naming ships is not one of them and seriously, "Yellow Snow?" Out of every ship name you choose a name associated with pissing in snow?
Jaune: Is that what it means? I thought it mean like lemon-flavored snow cones! Pyrrha, how come you never told me this?
Pyrrha: I'm sorry, I didn't want to assume...I just thought you were being open about your...Ahem, interests.
Jaune: WHAT?! No, no, I'd never be into something like that! Oh god, does Weiss think I meant it like that? I need to tell her the truth!
Pyrrha: Jaune! Wait, Weiss is in her trailer! She said not to disturb her!
(Sadly, the red head's words fell on deaf ears as the crazed blonde rushed to correct a misunderstanding. You watch as both Pyrrha and your boss release heavy sighs, after which Pyrrha follows after Jaune, hoping to make sure he remained in tact after confronting Weiss. You glance at your boss as he rubs the corners of his eyes before walking off further down the walkway with you following close behind. You watch as several men and women run in the opposite direction of you, all of them screaming about a raging blonde. You gaze as a fiery-blonde struts her way from a burning building with a strawberry sunrise in one hand and a bear mascot head in the other. It's the legendary Yang Xiao Long!)
The Boss: Yang.
Yang: Oh, hey boss man!
The Boss: Yang, how many times does this make it?
Yang: Uh...Let's see...One, two, four...24 times.
The Boss: Let me guess, Hei refused to make you a strawberry sunrise again?
Yang: And one of his boys touched my hair, you know I can't let that slide.
The Boss: So, your bright idea was to set the bar on fire and have it collapse on itself?
Yang: What can I say? I really BRING THE HOUSE DOWN. Eh? Eh? Get it?
The Boss: You are extremely lucky I can't fire you.
Yang: Heh, that was pretty pun-
The Boss: If you say "punny" one more freaking time, I will personally make you act out a scene as Jaune's girlfriend in Volume 6.
Yang: Sir, yes, sir.
The Boss: Get back on set. I've got to call the fire department...Again.
(With a quick wink and a sashaying hip swing, the bombshell blonde walks off with a drink in hand and holding the mascot head under her arm. A symbol of what it meant to cross a hothead. After several hours of extinguishing the fire and giving Yang a stern lecture and appropriate punishment, three hours of continuous stories by Peter Port, you and your boss walk into a large warehouse and sitting off to the side drinking some coffee were the main antagonists; Cinder Fall, Emerald Sustrai, Mercury Black, Roman Torchwick, and Adam Taurus. Laid out on the table in front of them was game of "Remnant".)
Adam: I cast "Giant Nevermore."
Mercury: Oh, come on! That was my card last turn!
Emerald: I told you not to agree to that "peace" treaty.
Mercury: Shut up, Em. Stupid game sucks anyway.
Adam: Then stop playing.
Mercury: NEVER!
Roman: How the hell did you rope me into this?
Cinder: The same way I got you to wear my eyeliner for a week.
Roman: You're just upset that I pull it off.
Emerald: So did Johnny Depp but unlike you, he was a good actor.
Roman: Shouldn't you be focusing on Mercury's gaping hole in his defenses?
Mercury: Hole? What hole?
Cinder: I cast "Grimm End" you're entire kingdom has fallen to my rule.
Roman: That hole. Seriously, I told you you need to space out your defenses evenly. You can't just pick one side and hope nothing happens to the other side. It's basic strategy.
Mercury: You know what else is basic strategy? My foot up your ass!
Roman: Bring it on, kid. I'll end you faster than Neo eating a 60 pound tub of Neapolitan ice cream.
Adam: 60 pounds?
Roman: Finished it in 3.52 seconds.
Mercury: I can cut that in half and still have time to kick your sorry ass.
(Both you and your boss watch as the two continue to argue with your boss sighing in annoyance before walking towards the group. They all take notice of your boss and quickly sit back in their seats while you walk to join the sideline. Your eyes catch Cinder's own, causing her smirk and cross her left leg over her right, giving you a nice view of her silky white legs.)
Cinder: Pray tell, who is this stranger? You're not picking up strays again, are you?
The Boss: This is our latest addition. They'll be interning here for the month while we get ready for Volume 6.
Emerald: Nice to meet you, I'm Emerald.
Mercury: Mercury, call me Merc.
Adam: It's Adam.
Roman: Greetings kid, name's Roman. But I'm sure you already knew that.
Cinder: Cinder, it's a pleasure.
The Boss: These guys and girls play the main antagonists in volumes 1 through 5, not counting Roman.
Roman: I'm still pissed you took me off in Volume 3.
The Boss: Yes, but you're helping out with our side projects, remember?
Roman: Yeah, I remember. Still mad I became Griffon chow. You couldn't have given me some badass final battle where little Red slices me in half with her scythe?
Emerald: The very fact you were even allowed to last that long is a miracle.
Roman: Can't here you street rat.
Emerald: Asshole.
(Another argue arises with only Adam, Cinder, your boss, and you staying out of the loop. Eventually, growing tired of the ensuring argument, you and the others all walk outside the warehouse. The sun shining down upon the lot as everyone scurries about. After one final goodbye from both Adam and Cinder, your boss walks off once more, leading you to the main office building. Sitting at the main desk is Weiss Schnee, looking studious as ever.)
Weiss: Ah, good, you're here. You have a private message on line one, an announcement on line two, and I have a call back from Mr. Barnes about getting additional paint.
The Boss: Weiss, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be helping Ruby with her lines?
Weiss: I tried but the second I turned my back the insufferable dolt ran off before I could catch her. As for why I am here, I thought I could ask your secretary about Ruby's whereabouts but she wasn't here then the phone began to ring and I noticed the sheer disarray of the desk and before I knew it I was answering calls, emails, and setting up meetings. Speaking of which, you're wanted in room 306.
The Boss: Alright, look just go back to your trailer and have a break. I'll see what I can do about Ruby.
Weiss: Very well, and when you find that dolt, tell her she is in so much trouble when I get my hands on her.
(Weiss gracefully exits the building just as your boss turns towards you with serious stern eyes.)
The Boss: Alright, here's what's going to happen. Since I've got a meeting with someone important, I'm putting you in charge of finding Ruby and getting her back on set and under no circumstances are you to take your eyes off of her. Get it? Got it? Good! Now get going!
(With a forceful kick of his boot, your boss kicks you out of the building. You rise up, rubbing your sore behind as your eyes wander the massive lot. You're new job was to find Ruby Rose and get her back to the set. The problem was where she was and with no prior knowledge of the lot's mapping there was a very low probability of locating her. But using your creative way of solving problems, you quickly realized a weakness Ruby had. You remembered seeing it in the very first episode of RWBY. Ruby's number one weakness was...cookies. Looking to the left, you notice and randomly placed outside oven and cookie baking supplies. You wanted to question it at first but felt it better to just accept the luckiness of it all and went straight to work, baking a massive tray of chocolate chip cookies and using an industrial fan was able to send the sweet smelling cookies out across the lot. Unfortunately, it had drawn in the wrong crowd as everyone from the lot and sets had shown up, creating a massive line. The first in line was legendary Nora Valkyrie and Lie Ren.)
Nora: HIYA! I'M NORA AND THIS IS RENNY! WE SMELLED THE COOKIES AND I THOUGHT WELL WHY NOT HAVE SOME COOKIES TO WASH DOWN THE PANCAKES! SO CAN WE HAVE SOME?!
Ren: Nora? Why are you yelling?
Nora: Was I? Sorry guess someone forgot the CAPS Lock was on and forgot to turn it off.
Ren: *Sighs* We'll have two cookies, please.
(Despite you're two best scents, you reluctantly give the cookies to them and as the walk away two more step in place; Sun Wukong and Neptune Vasilias.)
Sun: Sup, newbie. We heard you made cookies for the cast and crew and wanted to get in on that, right Nep?
Neptune: They don't have peanuts in them, do they?
Sun: Who cares if they do? Cookies are cookies, Neptune.
Neptune: I care, you know what happened last time Scarlet had peanuts, right? The guy looked like a swelled up balloon for weeks.
Sun: Oh, yeah. That was pretty wild. You're right, we should make sure they don't got any nuts in 'em. They don't have any, right?
(With a quick nod, the two of the grabbed four cookies, with sun stealing a fifth with his tail. Taking their places was both Velvet and Coco.)
Coco: Well, well, what do we have here? A nice little cookie stand and two cute girls, whatever will happen here?
Velvet: Coco, please don't flirt with the new intern. I'm so sorry about her, I'm Velvet and this is unfortunately my co-star, Coco.
Coco: "Unfortunately?" I'm sorry but who was the one that finally got you and Cardin together?
Velvet: COCO!
Coco: (Seeing your look of confusion, smirks) Ah, I get it. Look, I understand Cardin is a racist, asshole but don't worry that only when the cameras are rollin'. Off of it the guy's a freaking teddy bear and hell the rest of Team CRDL actually spend most of their time volunteering at Faunus orphanages. And it's so freaking adorable seeing my little bun-bun smile next to her big bird.
Velvet: Please stop!
(Reacting quickly, Velvet grabs an armful of cookies for her team and Cardin's while Coco smirks, winking at you before taking a cookie and walking away with a sway of her hips.)
(After several more cast and crew come by to grab some more cookies, forcing you to make more. It wasn't until you found yourself face to face with faculty of Beacon Academy that you released a trapped sigh. Standing to the left was Dr. Bartholomew Oobleck and to the left was Peter Port and standing just behind the two men was a a flash of pink hair.)
Peter: Greetings my fellow crew member! I am the mighty Peter Port but surely you know of me and my crowning achievements! Such as vanquishing the mighty Grimm Dragon the plagued Beacon Academy?
Bartholomew: Peter, that wasn't you, that was Ms. Rose. You and I defeated the Griffons, remember?
Peter: Preposterous! I was sure I defeated the mighty beast with one swing of my powerful ax! And riding atop my might minotaur, Edgar!
Bartholomew: Please, ignore this mad man. I'm Bartholomew, we'd like three cookies please. One for myself and Peter and another for our dear friend, Peach.
(But as the three of them turned to look at Peach, the woman has mysteriously disappeared from sight, causing Peter to scratch the back of his head in confusion.)
Peter: Strange, she was right here a moment ago.
Bartholomew: Don't take it personally, Peach is often called away to take care of business.
Peter: Regardless, we'll take three cookies, my good man.
(You hand the two men three cookies and watch as they make their leave, their place being taken over by several more cast and crew. You wipe the sweat from your forehead, feeling exhausted from all this hard work but for some strange reason, you can't help but get a feeling of accomplishment. That remarkable feeling was quickly dashed away at the sight of...Her. Her deathly, ghostly, pale skin gave you goosebumps. Her dark eyes dove into your very soul. But it was her voice that caught your attention. The voice of Salem, Queen of the Grimm.)
Salem: Oh my goodness, is that chocolate chip? I LOVE chocolate chip!
(Standing behind her was the other antagonists of the show, Arthur Watts, Tyrian Callows, Hazel Reinhart, and Sienna Khan.)
Tyrian: It's a pleasure to meet you my good sir, you must be the new intern we've been hearing so much about. I'm Tyrian Callows, as I'm sure you've heard and I would be delighted to try that sweet smelling dessert. And I'm sure my colleagues would as well.
Hezel: It does smell good. I'd like a bite.
Arthur: I couldn't agree more, friend.
Sienna: I'd rather a nice salad but I guess cookies are good too.
Salem: You heard them, we'll take four cookies please.
(You can't help but smile at the happy, bubbly, personality of the queen of Grimm. An exact polar opposite of her personality on the show as well as the other antagonists. The very fact that these actors could switch their personalities on a dime was what drew you to the show as well as it's action and comedy. Unfortunately, you're feelings of relief was quickly squashed at the sight of several Grimm, all waiting patiently in line for a freshly baked cookie. You release a heavy sigh as you rush to make a new batch.)
(And finally, after several hours of baking and feeding the cast and crew, the last remaining member steps forward, drawn in by the sweet smell of cookies and standing in all her glory, red caped hood and all was the star of the show and the very reason you wanted to intern here, Ruby Rose. Her silver eyes sparkled with hope and her lips widened into a large smile. You smile back reaching over to grab a cookie but instead feel nothing. You look back to see all of the cookies were gone and you had just used the last of your baking supplies. You look back to see the still hopeful eyes of Ruby Rose and not wanting to disappoint her you hold up a finger, signalling her to wait a moment as you rush in search of the others who taken a cookie, hoping that one of them would have a spare for Ruby.)
(But alas, none had an extra cookie and you're forced to walk back to Ruby with a walk of shame...that is until you feel a light tap on your shoulder to see the little black and white corgi, Zwei and in his mouth was a ziplocked cookie and written on it was a message from Qrow Branwen the read out; "Hey there, Newbie. I heard about your little cookie stand from the boss. Can't say I agree with setting up a cookie stand, I would've preferred a liqueur stand but hey, what can ya do? Anyway, I noticed that my little shortstack didn't get one so I used a little "uncle magic" to get her one. And to welcome you to this wacky messed family. See ya later, newbie." You smile and grab the bag from Zwei's mouth, patting his head affectionately before walking back to Ruby, her eyes sparkling at the sight of the cookie. And as you reach out to hand it to her, your fingers just barely meeting the cookie snaps in half. At first, you're worried but the sight of Ruby's smile calms your nerves and you take a bite of a well deserved reward.)
(This was your first day interning at the studio lot of "RWBY". But it was just the beginning of your adventures behind the scenes.)
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Greeting everyone and thank you for reading my oneshot of "Behind The Scenes." I'm so glad you took the time to read this but now I leave it off to you to continue your story. What will you do at the lot? Who will you befriend? Who will you become rivals with? What adventures will you face behind the scenes of RWBY?
Well, that's for you to decide.
Till next time, this has been Phonius Pwnage the 3rd.
