Listen to Joan of Arc by OMD (Maid of Orleans)


Without me….

Little Catholic girl is falling in love
A face on a page, gift from above
She should have known better than to give her heart
She should have known better than to ever part
Without me
Without me

:Maid of Orleans – Joan of Arc


They were walking through the centre of Paris, and Francis had chosen some meat and vegetables as he was planning on making a special meal later that day. Arthur was with him and looking at the sights, buying some souvenirs and acting all tourist like, which amused Francis somewhat.

"Why are you acting like you've never seen the Eiffel Tower before, Mon Cher?" He laughed. "Every time you come here, always you do this, perhaps to make me laugh non?"

"Perhaps…" Arthur replied. "Or I genuinely think Paris is one of the most beautiful cities in the world… like the man whose heart this is…" he said glancing lovingly towards Francis, who smiled back happily. There was a kind of loving silence for a moment before Arthur spoke again. "You think I've forgotten, don't you?" He uttered. "I know what day it is tomorrow, 30th of May… when you celebrate Joan of Arc."

"Oh, I didn't think you would be interested…" Francis uttered quietly.

"You didn't?" Arthur replied and paused. "Every year I think about it too you know." He said and paused again. "We have a lot of history… and she binds us together as well as other things." After another pause he spoke again. "I have a lot of…guilt…"

Francis was quiet, as if he didn't quite know what to say. Arthur had tried to explain how he felt about it all before, but Francis didn't want to hear it. In the beginning he was too traumatised, and over the years he just didn't want to know as it brought back lots of memories. Eventually Arthur stopped trying to explain or tell him how he felt. Here he was doing it again…and Francis wasn't going to stop him this time. He wanted to hear it now, as he was ready to listen. They stood looking over at the Eiffel Tower from a viewing platform. Arthur paused again as they stood there, and then he turned to Francis again and took his hand. "I really didn't want to… kill her…" He said. "Those were dark times… and we were young…" He said trying to somehow put into words how he felt but it was difficult. "I think there can't be a worse death than burning." Arthur continued "So…you can imagine… I really didn't want to do that… not to her… not to any of them." He said referring to the burnings of Witches at the same time, when thousands of women were burnt at the stake. Francis just stood there listening to him, the emotions welling up inside him as he stared off into the distance remembering Jeanne D'Arc. Arthur continued to try to explain. "They made me." He uttered "Against my will Francis…"

"Yeah.." Francis replied in an almost whisper. He was holding back tears, he was struggling because they were in public, and he didn't want to break down in front of anyone. However Arthur continued. "You have no idea how it affected me. No one does. The number of people who think I actually wanted to burn Joan of Arc… to burn… Witches…." He uttered. Francis didn't answer him back, he just listened to what he was saying. "It was all down to archaic beliefs of certain people… " he said "If I could go back…"

"But you cannot." Francis replied. "None of us can." he gulped "Can we go somewhere private Arthur?" he asked "Please?"

Realising what he'd done, Arthur placed his hand on Francis' arm and looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry love… I didn't mean to upset you…" he said and took his shopping bag from him. There was a little café across the street and he decided to take Francis there, just to help him calm down a bit. There were private booths and quiet little places to sit, that looked very much out of the way.

"Hold on to my arm…" Arthur uttered as he led him to one of the private booths and ordered two coffees. Francis sat there looking quite upset, as memories flooded his mind of that time long ago. He had so many memories he'd wanted to forget, but he couldn't forget that, not in a million years.

"I shouldn't have said anything…" Arthur said "I have been wanting to talk to you about it for a long time but it was always a touchy subject. I'm so insensitive… "

"No… no you… you don't understand…" Francis replied, by now letting a few tears escape. "I want you to tell me how it was… because all this time I blamed you."

"When I think of how terrified Joan must have been as she was tied to the stake…" Arthur began "She knew she would burn."

30th May 1431, Rouen, France. Joan is in the back of a prison cart being taken to her place of execution, under guard of a certain Englishman, who was ordered to watch her so she didn't escape. Arthur Kirkland was that man, posted there in the cart with her, having been told how dangerous she was. However, when he sat down opposite this young girl who was tied up with her hands behind her back, she didn't look dangerous at all. She didn't look him in the eye, just turned and looked through the small gaps in the door at the world outside.

"Joan…" Arthur said as he watched her, his heart softening. She wasn't what everyone said she was. He knew it.

"I was told so much about you…" he said "The cardinals…um…"

Joan just looked at him and didn't speak, though the defiant look in her eyes was evident. She didn't like him, nor would she listen to a word he said, and even if she did wish to hear it, she would never tell him whether she understood or not. Silence… was her tactic, and there was silence for a long time in the journey. Arthur didn't see a war leader, he saw a young and frightened woman who was going to her death. She must have been terrified.

"At least… at least you could tell me why you didn't do what they wanted." Arthur said, hoping she would speak up. "Why…why did you confess…and then…?" he asked and paused "Why did you continue to dress as a man? I don't understand… "

Her facial expressions said it all. She was afraid but defiant. She had her reasons, and maybe reasons that he, Arthur Kirkland, would never understand.

"I understand you did it for France… but…" he continued "…you must know him… Francis… Francis Bonnefoy…"

There was a look of recognition on her face, and her pupils widened, yes of course she knew him. Not only that, she loved him, that was certain.

"You know about him… who he is and what he is?"

Once again all he had to go on were her positive facial expressions, as she wasn't going to speak to him.

"You think he will come for you and rescue you…?"

There was no answer but she seemed to have some hope that he would, that somehow he was able to, and that he could save her.

Arthur knew that the King of France, Charles VII had ordered Francis to stay away from her. He could do nothing to save the poor girl, and he himself was under orders to hold her captive… and more… he had been ordered to burn her at the stake. He really didn't want to. Those dark minded fools had been blinded by their beliefs, and they didn't know her. They didn't see that she was a young woman who was only fighting for the country she loved. Under other circumstances and if Joan had been a man, he would have relished in telling her that Francis would not come for her, not this time, and not ever, and that she was going to die a heretic, and he would have enjoyed seeing the pain in her eyes… but he couldn't do it.

"Joan listen…" He said sincerely. "I don't want this to happen… I hope Francis will come for you…" He mumbled, hardly looking at her, and completely humbled by her. The cart stopped and he got out, helping Joan out behind him. Immediately she was grabbed by soldiers and jostled to the stake where they ripped her clothes and tied her up. She could do nothing but gaze upon her killers, and Arthur in particular. He took a wooden cross from round his neck and handed it to her as she was waiting there absolutely terrified of what was going to happen to her. Then he took a step back and was confronted by the cardinal, who looked him in the eye.

"You will do it… " he uttered.

"No…" Arthur replied. "You can't expect me to…"

"You… will do it Kirkland… " he said with a grin. "And go down in history as being her killer…" he said. "Do you defy the will of God? Hm? Defy what God has set in motion?"

The soldiers handed a torch to Arthur and he was loathe to even touch it. The sight of flames terrified him beyond belief, but for Joan, it was worse… so much worse. She closed her eyes and held the wooden cross to her chest.. "Jesus.." she uttered.

"I won't do it…" Arthur said defiantly, then was grabbed by a couple of soldiers, who forced him to take the torch.

"Light the fire…" The Cardinal ordered. And against everything he was feeling and hoping for, the soldiers pushed Arthur forward with the torch. He looked around at the crowds, and even thought for a moment that he glimpsed Francis behind a pillar…

"Dammit Francis please… stop me will you… I… " he hoped, he practically prayed.

"Light it." Ordered the Cardinal and a soldier drew his sword and held it to Arthur's neck.

"Slowly he lowered the torch and it started the fire. He threw it down and turned away immediately, as the cardinal grinned sadistically, and the soldiers watched what was happening, he couldn't look at her, or stay there. He ran as fast and as far as he could through the crowd, unable to keep the tears from flowing. Those people were bastards, how could they do that? Why couldn't Francis stop him? He ran away that day, back to England, without looking back, but he knew Joan had died at his hand… and it hurt… he never wanted to that ever."

Unbeknownst to anyone, Francis was there that day, hoping he could save her, that he could do something, but his King had ordered him not to, and though he tried to defy orders, it was impossible. He had to stand there and watch whilst England…lit the fire, that bastard… and he vowed that one day he would kill him.

Back in the present…

"I've wanted to explain for so long…" Arthur said, hardly looking at Francis, hardly audible as his words escaped his lips. "I know what I've done. If it's worth anything I know how deeply she loved you Francis…"

Francis wiped the tears from his eyes and looked at Arthur there, who felt just as bad about it. He wished they didn't have to talk about it but Arthur wanted to get it out, and explain, so now it was done.

"I had no idea." He uttered. "I blamed you for a long time for that…you know… From my perspective you were a sadistic bastard. I could have killed you on the spot…" He said but instead reached out and took Arthur's hand. Now it's my turn to confess something… and I want you to listen to me… alright?

Francis wanted to talk now, so Arthur waited to hear what he wanted to say… with anticipation.