A/N: Another new fic. As if you guys want anymore, right? Oh well. I keep getting new ideas, so more fanfics are born every day.
I can't take full credit for this fic, though. The idea of this story was based off of a post I saw on Tumblr. I tried to find it again so I could credit the person who made the original post, but I couldn't find it. Theirs was the idea of Dean being near death and Mary coming out to sing "Hey Jude" to him. If you guys remember who wrote that, tell me in a review so I can credit them. But yeah, I pretty much built this whole story off of that idea.
Also, the cover art came from Tumblr. It's what the title is based off of. It's just it was so pretty I had to use it. Credit for this cover goes to hiddleschic, as far as I know.
Oh, and as always, my views are not shared or expressed by any of the characters in this story or any of my other stories.
Anyway, I hope you guys like this one. Please read, review, and enjoy.
Sam held Dean's head close to his chest, keeping his face turned up and his torso elevated on his knees in an attempt to keep him from drowning in his own blood. By now, Dean's vision was blurry and clogged with blood that had wandered into his eyes. Sam's tears were hitting his face every few seconds, and Dean found himself counting them as he struggled to breathe through his raspy throat. His nose was broken, so at the moment Dean was a mouth breather. His hearing was coming to him muffled, and Sam's crying sounded meters away, though his face hung inches above Dean's.
From what Dean could tell, Sam was pleading with him to hang on. Sam had already called for help, but Dean had a feeling that they both knew help wouldn't arrive in time. Dean was more concerned about Sam, and the bruises on his face and hands. There was a line of blood running from Sam's hairline, and Dean hoped that he would be okay. He wanted so badly to be able to lift his arms to touch Sam's face, but his left arm was sandwiched between himself and Sam, and the bones in his right arm were completely shattered, so there was motion there.
Dean knew that Cas was still hanging around, but Sam wasn't allowing him to move his head, so he couldn't look for the angel. Dean knew that Cas wouldn't be able to do anything about his condition, but that was okay. Strangely, everything was okay.
Castiel paced slowly a few feet from them, trying not to look at the scene unfolding. He felt so guilty, knowing that he couldn't heal Dean. This was even worse than the feeling he got when he couldn't help Bobby to walk again. What was the point of still having his Grace if he couldn't use it to prevent Dean from dying?
Sam began to rock slightly, still holding onto Dean's head. Sam's crying had slowed down a bit, and Dean felt enough ease to be able to close his eyes, his breath shaky on Sam's arms. Sam was stroking Dean's hair, just doing anything he could to be comforting. Help would be there soon. He just had to hope that Dean could hold on until then.
Suddenly, Sam was aware that Cas had stopped pacing. He looked up to the angel to see that he was staring somewhere in the distance with a strange look on his face. It could've been anger, but Sam wasn't sure. He continued to watch Castiel a moment more before looking back down at his older brother.
Dean was trying to swallow all the blood welling up in his throat, because he didn't want any of it to come out of his mouth onto Sam's hands. Dean had failed to notice that Sam was already covered in his blood. Finally, Dean gave up, and a line of his blood ran from the corner of his mouth onto Sam's knuckles. Sam choked a little, and continued to rock Dean again, new tears threatening to emerge.
"Hey Jude, don't be afraid… You were made to go out and get her…"
Dean slowly cracked open his eyes to the sound of a woman singing to him. This voice was so familiar, though he hadn't heard it in so long. His eyelashes fought to cling together with the dried blood that bonded them, but finally Dean was able to pry them apart. He squinted at the figure in front of him.
"The minute you let her under your skin, then you begin to make it better…"
Dean was swallowing again, preparing his throat for speaking. After a few seconds, he croaked out, "Mom?"
Sam looked down at Dean with surprise, then turned to look where he was looking. This is when Sam noticed that it was the same general area where Cas had been staring the past minute or so. He looked back down at Dean, whose eyes were now crinkling, the muscles in his face twitching. A tear escaped and made its way down Dean's left cheekbone, banking down the side of his face and going into his ear.
"Mom…"
"And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain… Don't carry the world upon your shoulders…"
She was beautiful, glowing a ghostly white hue, her blonde hair curling down around her shoulders. For the first time, Dean wasn't seeing an image of Mary in her bloody, white nightie. Instead, she wore a flowing, sky blue dress, and there wasn't a drop of blood on her. She knelt down beside Dean, raising a shudder from him when she touched his face.
"Mom…I'm scared…"
"For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder…"
More tears trailed down Dean's cheeks now, and all the while, Sam gazed down at Dean in wonder, but also in horror. If Dean was truly seeing the spirit of their mother, than he must be close to death. But surely Dean wouldn't die. "Dean, what's happening?" Sam asked. It was the first time he'd spoken since his 911 call. He held onto Dean a bit tighter, as if he thought that if he kept Dean in his arms that he couldn't go anywhere, not even as a spirit.
Slowly, Dean's eyes closed again. His body was trembling slightly, his tears now stopping.
"Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah…"
And then, Dean stopped breathing. He stopped trembling. He stopped all together.
Sam was shaking him a little, from what he could feel, but it was hard to distinguish the shaking from the rocking. Everything started to fade away, and Dean began to regret not saying goodbye to Sam while he could.
Then, Dean was sitting on the ground, looking over at himself in Sam's arms. It was like time had stopped, and Sam was frozen, holding onto Dean with all his might, looking at him in fear. Dean looked down at his hands, which were clean and mended. None of his bones were broken, and he swallowed when he realized that he was a spirit.
He looked up to Mary, who was smiling patiently. "It's time to go, Dean," she said, her voice warm satin. She reached out a hand to him, pale and soft.
Dean just stared at that hand, hesitant to reach out for it. He looked up into his mother's eyes, and he noticed how pale her irises were. Her lips were the lightest pink, as if they were frozen, and her blue veins stuck out against her skin. He hadn't noticed before just how dead she looked.
Even so, Dean found himself reaching out for her hand ever so slowly, something itching in the back of his mind. When his skin touched hers, something turned in his stomach. This feeling was so real, because he was finally living it. All the times both he and Sam had been confronted by the image of their mother, always an illusion – it never felt like this. Dean felt real skin beneath his fingers, though it felt different than what he had planned on.
He slowly began to rise, all of the contentment of the world suddenly flooding his chest. This was Mary, calling him home. Dean started to wonder what his Heaven would be like, what would be in it. His heart was on fire at the thought of seeing Jo, and Ellen. For a second, Dean was even excited to see John again, but then he remembered that his father wouldn't be waiting for him at the pearly gates, and he stopped, turning down his head.
As Dean fought back all these overwhelming emotions, Mary bent down by him once more, running her frigid fingers through his hair. She shushed him, saying, "It's going to be fine, Dean. Everything will be fine from now on."
He looked up into her eyes, hopeful, and she began helping him up again. Dean was almost completely standing when the scar of Cas' handprint on his left shoulder glowed faintly in a creamy, light yellow color. Then, Cas was grasping Dean's shoulder, right where his scar had been, and he was pulling Dean back, away from Mary.
Dean looked back at Cas in shock, wondering what had possessed the angel to hold him back from Heaven. When he saw the upset look on Cas' face, it nearly took his breath away. Dean sighed, saying in a quiet, cracking voice, "Cas…let me go."
Castiel shook his head, tightening his grip on Dean's shoulder. "Dean, you don't understand. She's not who you think she is."
Dean looked back up at Mary, who continued to smile down at him. She cocked her head to the side, pulling on Dean's arm in a way that was a bit more aggressive than Dean ever expected to see from her. "Come on, Dean," she said quietly, "it's time to go."
"Dean, she isn't your mother," Cas warned, moving closer to Dean in a possessive way. Now he gripped both of the human man's shoulders, fighting to keep him there. "Listen to me, Dean."
Dean turned back to look at Castiel again, much to Mary's dismay. "Well if she isn't my mother, then what is she?"
Mary pulled on his arm again, jolting him forward. He looked up at her in surprise, as she wasn't smiling anymore. "Dean, I am you mother. You are going to come with me."
"Dean, look at her. You know she isn't your mother." Castiel's voice was getting louder as his frustration grew. "Dean let go of her."
Before Dean could ask again what the person in front of him was, the outer shell of Mary melted away into smoke. Now Dean held on to the icy hand of a black-haired reaper, who impatiently scowled at the angel behind him. "You don't have a place here, Castiel. This is the business of a reaper. He needs to come with me."
"He has a choice," Cas corrected her. Dean looked back at Castiel's face once more, his eyes searching those determined creases around his eyes. Why was Castiel fighting so hard for him? Was it guilt?
The reaper sighed. "I wanted this to be easy," she mumbled. Dean looked at the ground. He knew that the reaper was only doing her job, but he didn't like being tricked, so he couldn't respect her right now.
When he was ready, Dean looked back up at her, and she told him his options. "As you know from the first time we met, you have a choice. You can either come with me, or you can stay here on Earth. You'll be a spirit if you stay. Sam won't be able to see you, and you won't be able to talk to him. You'll live on forever, even after all of your family and friends die. You'll never have another opportunity to continue on either up or downstairs." She lowered her voice. "Forever is a long time, Dean. It sounds okay now, being able to watch over Sam for the rest of his life, but think about when he's dead. You'll never see him again."
Dean, who had been silent the whole time, was now suddenly aware that Cas was still holding onto his shoulders. Even after everything he'd heard, Cas wasn't about to let Dean go. With a bit of regret panging in his voice, Dean said, "Let go, Cas." When Castiel still held on, and even tightened his grip, Dean sighed, repeating, "Let go. You have to let go of me, Cas. You heard her, it'll be Hell if I stay here."
Castiel shook his head just a little, and though Dean couldn't see, there was a bit of uncertainty in the angel's eyes. "You can't leave," he said, his voice quiet. "Everything won't be so bad if you stay, Dean."
"I don't wanna be stuck here after Sammy is dead, Cas." Dean swallowed, and he was just really ready for everything to be over. "When they're all gone – Sam, Bobby…" Dean paused, and he realized just how short his list of friends was. He looked down at the grass again. "When they're gone, there won't be anything for me here."
Castiel was visibly hurt when he hadn't heard his name on that list. Did he really mean nothing to Dean?
"Angels don't go away, Dean."
And then Dean realized that he'd neglected to think about Cas. Even after Sam and Bobby would be dead, Castiel would still be there. Castiel wasn't going to die as time went along – that is if he stayed away from any of the angels that had a bone to pick with him. The more he thought about it, the more comforted Dean felt thinking about how, if he stayed, Castiel would be by his side forever. When everyone else he knew passed him by, Cas would be there, always.
Dean's grip on the reaper's hand loosened, and he looked back at Cas again. The reaper was agitated that Dean kept looking at the angel. No matter what her argument was, Dean would return his eyes to the man with bright, blue eyes. She sighed, and asked, "Is this your final decision?"
It was almost chilling to think that the reaper knew what Dean was thinking without having said a word. There was a long moment when none of them moved or said anything. Dean just stared into Castiel's eyes, and he had an overwhelming sense that everything was going to be all right, even more so than he had when Mary was singing to him. He wanted to know why he felt that way, but before he could think about it enough to ruin the moment, Dean just slowly nodded, not tearing his eyes away from those azure orbs.
And suddenly, the reaper was gone, and time started again. Sam was crying more hysterically, shaking Dean in his arms. Cas stood, putting a hand on Sam's shoulder. "Sam, it's no good."
"No, no I'm not going to let this happen again." He swatted Cas' hand from his shoulder, returning his grip to Dean. "Dean you can't leave, not again…" His tears continued, and Dean wasn't sure what to do. He knew that Sam wouldn't be able to hear or see him, so there was no point in trying to speak to him.
"Try touching him," Cas said, still looking at Sam. "Sometimes they can feel it, like a chill or a spark." At first, Dean was confused, then he realized that Cas was talking to him. He didn't understand why Sam wasn't reacting to Cas aimlessly talking to space, but he brushed it off.
Dean stood, walking around behind Sam and hesitantly reaching out to firmly grip his shoulder. Sam's body shuddered, and he quickly turned to look behind him, staring straight through Dean. Sam looked like he was about to say something, but then he stopped, looking back down at Dean's body. After a moment of just staring at his little brother, Dean turned to look at Cas. "Why didn't he hear you?" asked Dean.
"You know that angels can hear on separate wavelengths. We hear the living world around us, and we hear the supernatural world. Angels can also speak on different wavelengths. We can speak out loud, and then we can speak using just our minds." He looked to Dean and squinted a little. "It's like…a radio. We have different channels that we can listen in on and respond to."
Dean nodded, but then he got curious. How many times had he stood in front of the angel while he held conversations with beings not seen by the naked eye? It was a bit creepy, to know that there was more to Castiel than he had once thought.
Once the ambulance arrived, Dean hung back. It was a painful sight when Sam refused to turn over Dean's body. It took medics about six minutes to convince Sam to let go. Cas stood next to Dean, and Dean was a bit surprised that none of the medics ever approached him. Finally, he turned to the angel with more questions. "Why aren't they walkin' up to you? Can they not see you, either?"
Castiel shook his head. "Angels have a camouflage that lets us watch over humans more easily. You might call it invisibility."
Dean cocked an eyebrow. "Camouflage? So you like to spy on people without them knowin' it?"
The angel shrugged. "People act differently when they know they're being watched."
At that, Dean had to smile, because it was so true. He started to think that it was possible – and very probable – that Cas could've watched him at some point, standing just a few feet from him and completely transparent. He chuckled a little when he thought of the things Cas might've seen. When the angel looked at him in question, Dean shook his head as if saying "just ignore me." They continued to watch Sam at the EMTs until they all drove away, flashing lights and the sounds of sirens fading into the distance through the trees.
A/N: Soooo… What'd ya think? Is it sweet? Is it cute? Kind of? It'll get a bit fluffier later I think. I'll be honest, at this point, I haven't done much planning. I just thought out this chapter and not much else. But don't worry, I'll surely get more ideas soon.
