The Metal Chronicles

By Edward "The Dreadpirate" Peeler

A Word From The Idiot...I mean author!

Recently I chose to make the life altering decision to join the United States Navy at the ripe age of...32. To show for it, I found myself some direction, perspective, a few adventures and good times, and a lot of miserable ones. The absolute most miserable times were at Great Lakes, a place I had hoped never to see again after boot camp and the absolute shittiest place a young sailor can find himself outside of a genuine life or death situation. I was there being trained as an electronic technician (or an ET as we like to say) surrounded by a lot of asshole petty officers and chiefs who desperately want to be RDCs and think they can get the that cushy job by treating junior sailors like crap and a lot of stupid "try hard Blue Falcons" who try to get in good with above assholes by kissing their asses, snitching on people for dumb and minor violations, and being dicks to every body. Living there for nine months was one of the worst experiences of my life. Worse than my mom dying.

But I survived. I got through it. And it wasn't all bad. I managed to find ways to have fun in a cold, miserable, dick bag filled hellhole. And there were two things that eased the pain in being in that place. 1.) The genuinely decent people and wonderful sailors that are still my friends to this day and 2.) Dungeons and Fucking Dragons.

I found some like minded nerds there and we passed the time by nerding it up and telling our own little epic. In particular, are three dear friends who helped me craft an epic. Veteran player Carver who brought his barbarian Manliness McMaximus and his overpowered stats, my roommate who wishes to remain anonymous, so we will just call him Blaze for now, and Porter, a nice young man who had never played DND before, the resident punching bag, and accidental destroyer of worlds.

I decided to do something a little creative and post them to my blog that no one reads, .com, which I was inspired to do by a buddy of mine, Howard, who has his own excellent movie review blog at . (Check out our stuff! My dumb rantings and his great movie recaps!) And recently Blaze and I have started a new campaign with our old characters. As a joke, he suggested I post our adventures here. And I thought that was a great idea.

What follows is my original, game recaps that I posted on my blog, submitted for the approval of the talented writers and loving readers of . As Blaze and I continue to write the wacky adventures of Animal and Flutterbudgets, I will continue to upload them hear as well as on my blog. If you love table top role-playing or just want here a really wacked out story concocted by a bunch of bored pizza stuffed and drunk sailors, I hope you get a kick out of it.

On my website each chapter contains various illustrations that I downloaded online to spice up the blog and to represent as best I could the characters and actions of the story. (None of the illustrations are owned by mean as it should be soon apparent.) If you wish to see them please check out my blog. At times the story will get a little racy and not appropriated for young children as we are a bunch of role-playing adults and knuckleheads, myself especially.

Without further procrastination, game on!

Chapter 1

Heavy Metal

Tonight In Gaming: Heavy Metal!

SEPTEMBER 23, 2016 / DREADPIRATESITE / EDIT

Military life has kept me away for awhile, but one of my ways of keeping myself sane here at Great Mistakes is a good group of friends and Dungeons And Dragons. Last week we got a game together and we ran an adventure in a campaign I am calling Heavy Metal, for Metal is love! Metal is life! Metal is god! Anyone who takes a look at my cover sheet can tell I love metal music and the awesome artwork of the genre as well as the awesome french science fiction magazine. My players currently are a quasi-deity sorcerer, a vampire wizard, a bad-ass barbarian, and an elven druid.

I put them through a published adventure "To Grandmother's House We Go" from the Heroes Of Horror source book as they were charged with rescuing a group of children from an old monster couple, one of which being a hellish clown, one of my favorite monsters thanks to Steven King's It.

I decided to spice up the adventure with creatures from other source books including a juicy helping of undead from Libris Mortus, a half druid who could have been a potential adversary that they successfully talked into an ally, and to be totally random, some dinosaurs!

For our next adventure, I want to take the classic adventure City Of The Spider Queen and turn it into a zombie apocalypse scenario…..more than it already it is. I plan on adding the Viral Deathspawn zombies from D20 Apocalypse to the adventure as well as more undead from Libris Mortus. My players are also eager to try the Tomb Of The Iron Medusa module some I'm thinking of combining it somehow into the story. I'm not sure how this campaign will end but I know one thing for sure…I will see to it my vampire player will wind up piloting a giant mech powered by magic and blood! Because that's metal, baby! Metal!

Pretty excited about this game and I plan on post more about it as the adventures continue. This weekend we're off to the witch! We may never never come home but the magic that we'll feel is worth a life time!

We'll know for the first time! If we we're evil or divine we're the last in line!

See how we shine…..

Rock you later

Edward "Dreadpirate" Peeler