Note/s: I've had this since LAST YEAR. I intended this story to be a oneshot but after reworking my outline, I realized it would be too lengthy for my taste, so I'm going to split it into two or three chapters (we'll see). I'd really love to hear what you think, so don't shy away in giving feedback. As always, any errors you find will be rectified at a later time.
Before reading, some things to guide you through:
1) Shinjiro is Jack's headcanoned real name by Sallychan, which means "pure", opposite of Aku's "evil". The name is also derived from the story of Momotaro that Jack regaled to a baby in the last episode of Season 4, only that there is another version of the story called Samurai Momotaro (Momotaro-zamurai), in which the hero, Shinjiro, takes on the name Momotaro during his quest, which is similar to what Jack did when he took on the titular name of the show.
2.) For convenience in modern AUs, we headcanon Jack's last name as 'Minamoto', which was one of the surnames bestowed by the Emperors of Japan upon members of the imperial family who were excluded from the line of succession and demoted into the ranks of the nobility. We went with that since royal family members weren't allowed to have surnames.
3) For Ashi's. Her headcanoned last name is 'Mazoku', which is a common concept in Japanese fantasy referring to a clan of beings born with supernatural and paranormal powers. Ashi is a demon no matter what time or place lol.
A Thousand Letters
Are you somewhere, content and free?
I pray so. Nightly, I confide to the gentle moon my fervent hope you may return someday.
If not, at least one word from you is enough to satisfy me forever.
Ashi frowned, then closed the book with a tired sigh, trying not to roll her eyes. What kind of person talks to the moon?
She slumped back against her chair, eyeing the cover of the offending material: A Thousand Letters. Not that the content was bad per se, but the act of having to study it for her exams annoyed her. Scratch that, make-up exams. Her first marks were unspeakably bad. Literature did not agree with her. She then glanced up from the book to the person seated across her. She mentally snorted. Unfortunately, her tutor did not agree with her, who believed, nay, insisted that everyone had a heart for the subject.
He was busy jotting down notes, most likely questions he was going to ask based on her reading. Of all the people in her class, why did the teacher have to assign Shinjiro—perfect student council president—Minamoto on her?
"Are you finished reading?" He asked timidly, glancing up his notepad. God, why was he so eager? One would think he would be too busy planning for school events or reporting to teachers or something. Anywhere but here—in a mostly empty library after school hours.
Ashi drummed her fingers on the book. "Yeah, sure."
"Oh, very well," He cleared his throat. "Let us begin by making initial impressions than comparing them later to when we become more acquainted with the text. So...Mazoku-san, what did you think of the selected reading?"
Ashi cupped a hand to her cheek, the other spinning a pen on the table. "It was...okay. They were short, so I didn't have to read long lines of the same thing"—
"Er, how did they make you feel," Shinjiro interrupted, placing a hand on his chest, "I mean, emotionally?"
Ashi scrunched up her nose. "Honestly? Not much. It's just some guy going on about some chick. Nothing new."
"It's more than that!" His obvious enthusiasm made him forget where he was, a nearby library assistant shushing him. Ashi watched him turn bright red all the way to his ears as he rubbed his nape sheepishly.
What an idiot.
"It's...more than that." He repeated, softly this time. "You have to look deeper, find a meaning. Read between the lines, if you will…?"
"Well, if I could, I wouldn't have to retake a dumb exam now, would I?"
Shinjiro straightened up in his seat, his patience unwavering. "Well, that's why I'm here to help, Mazoku-san." He reached across for the book and flipped through the pages. "What do you know about the Thousand Letters?"
Ashi propped her elbows on the table, slouching with a blank expression.
"Very little. Just that it was written by some emperor whatshisname with too much time in his hands."
"...And?"
Ashi rolled her eyes. "That I have the same name as the chick he pined for..?" She already had to deal with annoying classmates and their exaggerated readings during recitation. He did not have to remind her. "Be honest, Minamoto-san, is that why you chose this particular material? Because of my name?"
He seemed taken aback. "Err—yes, I mean no…" He paused to collect himself before continuing. "I just thought it would resonate with you...as these are addressed to you—err, a woman of the um same name. I also thought that using five selected short texts for an essay exam would be better than having to discuss a whole book…"
That was a fair point, she gave him that.
"You just need to convincingly discuss one or two elements that tie the letters together. You'll be guaranteed to pass that way." He grabbed his notes and aligned them with the open book.
"First, let's get to know the material…"
Ashi forced herself to listen to his long-winded discussion about a beloved emperor who was painted with fantastic and heroic deeds in an era where history blended with myth. He never married and merely secured an heir with a noblewoman. He remained fixated with a lover who had sacrificed her life for him. He wrote letters addressed to her throughout his lifetime, which were later compiled after his death and came to be famously known as the Thousand Letters.
When he finished, Shinjiro had a faraway look in his eyes and a soft dreamy smile.
He was really into this stuff.
"If I were him, the emperor I mean," Ashi couldn't help but say, "I would just move on and have a harem."
Shinjiro blinked at her, his smile collapsing. To her amusement, he looked insulted.
"The emperor wasn't that kind of man, he was loyal, faithful."
"You say that but he had a child with"—
"It was his responsibility to secure an heir. He held out for as long as he could until his forties." Shinjiro began flipping through the book furiously until he found whatever he was looking for. He read it aloud.
"If I were not honor-bound, I would denounce all my claims and spend idle days under the seasonal boughs with your memory. You would not forgive me though. My duty to my people, your desire. I vow to you this. I will have an heir but shall never take a wife. You are the only woman worthy of that title."
He sighed once more with awe and looked at her expectantly.
Ashi just shrugged.
"Really...nothing?" He huffed.
Ashi had to admit, it was fun pressing his buttons. His annoyed reactions marred his perfect student president image and she could not help but giggle.
"Minamoto-san, you're mighty passionate about the emperor. Almost like you have a crush on him."
Shinjiro rolled his eyes, something she never thought she'd see. "I have no such feelings. I merely feel a sort of...kinship over his situation."
This immediately perked Ashi's ears. "Eh, you mean to say," she grinned, "you're pining over somebody too?"
She expected him to deny that claim, maybe show more funny expressions. Instead, he stiffened and turned ghostly pale, his eyes widening. Ashi raised an eyebrow at this.
"Minamoto-san…?"
"Mazoku-san, that will be all for today."
She was walking through a dark passageway, both sides paneled with shoji, but no doors to open. The wooden floor creaked under her feet as she made her way to the only light source up ahead the long corridor. She found herself outside an occupied room, the lighting from the inside casting a warm glow on the screen. She caught a whiff of incense. Without her own prompting, her fingers eased the panel open. The room appeared hinged on a framed existence, the walls and the corners seemed to blur out into unending darkness. Right of the room was a fixture, a small shrine or altar. The name of Amaterasu serving as the ofuda, with incense and offering lining the shelves. It loomed over the room's darkly-clad occupant, sprawled over a writing desk in front of it. Their long black hair spilled all over the papers like ink. More paper laid discarded all over the tatami, a lot of them crumpled.
Ashi hesitantly moved inside, her pulse fluttering, and stopped right in front of the stranger, who remained undisturbed, their face concealed in their tucked arms. An inkstone was dangerously perched on the edge and Ashi bent down to push it back to safety. Her eyes suddenly found themselves drawn to a page, half hidden by a sleeve. Taking the corner of the sheet, she carefully pulled it out. It was half smeared but readable. As Ashi read the characters from top to bottom, a man's voice replaced the inner one inside her head.
Ashi. I do not want the short time we spend together to become just a memory. I have so many dreams but none of them, as lovely as they are, could surpass even just a fleeting moment with you. If you catch the message in my eyes, will you look at me the same way?
Ashi yelped in surprise when a hand coiled around her wrist. She looked to the owner, whose dark eyes bored into hers.
"Ashi."
Ashi fanned a hand to her face, shielding it from the sunlight breaking through her bedroom window. She groaned tiredly and sat up in her bed, pressing her fingers to her temples. Her head felt heavy despite the ample sleep.
It probably had something to do with that strange dream. It was as though she had been in some period drama. Strangest of all, the man in it looked a lot like Shinjiro...or rather, it was Shinjiro. The voice she heard was definitely his.
Ashi could not help but study him when they sat down in the library once more after school, half the time spent trying to imagine him with long hair. She could somewhat see it…?
"Is something the matter?" Shinjiro asked, startling Ashi. He regarded her with a tiny smile. Ashi felt her cheeks and neck burn in embarrassment. She looked down on her scribbly notes, feeling like an idiot.
"N-Nothing."
"Are you having trouble with something?" He persisted, setting aside his textbook. Ashi peeked up at him from under her bangs.
"Say, Minamoto-san...did you...ever have long hair?"
"Huh?"
Ashi bit her bottom lip, suppressing a groan at her own stupidity. "No, I'm sorry. Totally random question. All this literature is frying my brain apparently ha ha..ha…" She tried once more to engage her notes, ignoring the awkward silence and, no doubt, Shinjiro's confused stare.
She was in the middle of pretending to underline important notes when he cleared his throat and said, "I did...actually."
Ashi's head shot up. It was her turn to be surprised. "Huh?"
Shinjiro brought a hand to his nape, as though assuring himself that the locks in question had not just suddenly grown out. "When I lived abroad, I grew my hair out." He said. "But I had to cut it to comply with school regulation when I came back here."
"Oh right," Ashi nodded, remembering the information herself, "you left for China when we were in the fourth grade."
"My parents were expanding their business." Shinjiro said, lacing his fingers together. "We had to move a lot back then... "
"It must have been so exciting getting to see so many places." Ashi pointed out, envisioning all the foreign countries she could only afford to visit in travel documentaries and magazines. The farthest she had ever gone was the school trip to Okinawa.
"Yes...but I still preferred home." He sighed softly, looking out to the large windows at the side. The sky had begun to burn a bright orange.
"Well, I can see why," Ashi could not fight the amusement in her tone, "considering you're mister popular over here."
His head swiveled immediately back at her, eyebrows raised. "I'm sorry?"
Ashi laughed softly. "Minamoto-san, no need to be modest. I mean….student council president, perfect grades," she emphasized all this with counting fingers, "...you almost always help out in every sports club. At the high school entrance ceremony, everyone who hadn't seen you in years, were so happy to have you back."
"...Do you...dislike that?" He asked, his expression trying to decipher the sincerity of her words.
Ashi snorted at his distressed face. "No! I'm sorry, I'm bad at explaining myself. Just that well.." She paused, thinking of her own family, specifically her mother and the cold indifference that surrounded her for as long as she could remember. Ashi's lips twitched into a wry smile. "It must be nice to have everyone appreciate you that way."
The rueful tone in her words seemed to tighten the air around them. Of course, it was Shinjiro who made the first move to break the spell and Ashi worried what sort of personal question he would ask of her. But when he did, it was not at all what she expected.
"Do you...appreciate me...in that way?"
Ashi's eyes widened. "I...what?"
Shinjiro wriggled uncomfortably in his seat, his flushed face looking sunburnt with the orange cast pouring in from the windows. "Not to sound arrogant or anything! It's just that...well, this is the most time we've ever spent together at all...talking even. You're always so hard to read...I wondered if I..um, annoyed you or something, but then when you said 'everyone', I just…"
Ashi decided to do him a favor. "Minamoto-san, are you asking if I like you?"
His color deepened. "L-Like? Me?"
Ashi rolled her eyes. "I mean, as a person."
Obviously.
Shinjiro gulped, adam's apple bobbing. "...Yes?"
Ashi pressed her lips together, and carefully replied. "To be honest, I really do think you're annoying." He flinched and she almost let out a laugh. "But it's expected what with you being such a stickler for the rules."
"Mazoku-san! If this is all the times I reported you for skipping cleaning duty, you have to understand I can't just let anyone off with special treatment or else everyone will think"—
She shut him up with a raised hand. "Minamoto-san. Relax, let me finish. Please." She coughed and then continued, "I don't really know you well enough to call us friends just yet. But as it stands, I don't dislike you." It was not really a straightforward answer, but that was all she was going to say on the matter.
That seemed enough for Shinjiro though, who grinned ecstatically. Ashi had to giggle, thinking how he did not look like it, but he was obviously the type who sought for everyone's approval.
"I was just really convinced you didn't like me," Shinjiro quietly admitted, "…maybe even hated."
"That's a bit extreme, don't you think?" Ashi said, shaking her head in amusement. "I'm just not the most social one in class."
"Well…" He seemed to be struggling with his words. "It's just that...in...our first year...on Valentine's Day, I was the only boy you didn't give chocolate to. It was only obligatory chocolate...but still…"
"Wait? You're hung up on that?" Ashi could not believe what she was hearing. "Minamoto-san, it was only store-bought chocolate from the supermarket." She explained, lilted with laughter. "I always give out pity chocolate to the ones who need it. And with the guys in our class…" She rolled her eyes, "...did they need it."
No thanks to you… She wanted to add, remembering how Shinjiro's desk was piled with boxes of chocolate to the envy of her male classmates.
"You got homemade chocolate from almost every girl in our grade. Didn't think you kept score."
"No! No!" Jack tugged at his collar. "It's just that...we were in the same class...and one can't help but notice these things…"
"Unbelievable." Ashi snorted, much to Shinjiro's dismay. She would have to rethink her opinion of him.
By the time they came out of the library, only a few students with club activities remained. Shinjiro approached Ashi at her shoe locker, asking if he could walk her to her station. They lived in opposite directions, so this was unexpected.
"I want to compare some book prices in your way," he reasoned. "I was thinking I could do that after I see you off."
They walked with a three-feet distance between them. The lampposts overhead lit up as the sky darkened. They were quiet save for the few comments here and there (like Shinjiro pointing out the bookstore he wanted to browse when he would turn back). It was when they reached the middle of the bridge that Shinjiro stopped, looking over the river with a pensive expression.
"Minamoto-san?"
"Mazoku-san," he said, his eyes still on the water, "do you still remember...the first day of primary school?"
Ashi stood beside him, her back leaning against the railing. She frowned. "Not really, why?"
"When the teacher told us to introduce ourselves to the class, do you remember a kid crying when"—
"Oh right! That was you!" Ashi clapped her hands, eyeing Jack in amusement. "You just bursted out crying! The teacher had to bring you to the infirmary after." The memory flooded back to her. Because of their last names, Shinjiro was assigned the seat behind hers. He had looked so pitiful, wiping at the huge globs of tears and snot that dribbled down his face. Being children, most of their classmates pointed and laughed at him for being a crybaby. Ashi included.
Shinjiro did not say anything, resting his forearms on the railing, still in thoughtful silence. While he did not look upset, he did not seem pleased either. Perhaps that memory was a sore spot.
"Minamoto-san. I'm sorry for laughing at you then...but hey, you know how kids are"—
"It was after you."
Ashi's shoulders jumped when he abruptly turned to her, his eyes dark and serious. Ashi instantly recalled her dream. Shinjiro did not let up the intensity of his gaze when he said, "I remember...it was after you introduced yourself that I started crying. I don't think I could ever forget it because it was like a...profound sadness that came over me and I never knew why…"
In that moment, a rush of cold wind swept over them. Ashi had to keep her bag over her skirt and the other hand on her hair. But their eyes still locked together. When the gale passed, the pinpricks on her skin tingled and Ashi wondered if it was really from the cold air.
It was as if she were watching a stageless play, the backdrop an infinity of nothingness, and she was the only audience. From the darkness materialized a large paneled screen, stalks of green shooting up on the grainy yellow paper, bearing deep purple buds that bloomed into flowers. Ashi was so mesmerized that she almost did not notice the person that appeared just as suddenly in front of it.
She gasped in recognition.
Minamoto-san?
Like in her other dream, he was dressed in dark traditional clothing and had long hair that draped loosely on his slumped shoulders. He was sitting on his heels, clutching a white material to his chest-a fabric of sorts-with hints of red. He held it, gently, lovingly, like a newborn. But the trembling in his fingers and the lifeless expression on his face spoke of something else.
Then from nowhere and all around, voices of invisible men and women began to speak at once, overlapping one another. Ashi could only glean bits and pieces from the chaotic noise.
"...just disappeared..."
"...gone...just like that…"
"...hasn't eaten….been days…"
"...a tragedy.."
"...no sleep…"
"...you...can't…..like this..! Stop..."
"...beg...you...just a bite…!"
"...son...please!"
She searched all around but there was no sign of anyone or anything else. She returned her attention to Shinjiro's doppleganger. He continued to stare out into the void. Then, the voices gradually became louder, deafening incoherence. Ashi had to cover her ears, it did nothing to help, her head throbbing painfully. The voices did not stop and she was brought to her knees as she let out a guttural scream, beads of sweat lining her brow.
Almost instantly at her cry, the noise died. Ashi hesitantly removed her hands from her ears and set them down on the spaceless ground. She dropped her head and felt the sting of relieved tears in her eyes.
"Ashi."
She looked up.
Shinjiro stared down at her.
"Your homeroom teacher called," was the first thing Ashi's mother said all morning, as she headed out for work. Ashi stopped in her descent down the stairs, watching her mother slip on her work shoes that matched her corporate blazer. "He said that you have not submitted your career plan or whatever." Her mother grumbled, tugging at her uniform sleeves.
Ashi put on a blank expression. "I'll work on it…"
"You'd better. I don't have time for useless calls because of your indecisiveness." She reached for the door handle and glanced back up at Ashi in disapproval. "Whatever you have planned with your life, it has nothing to do with me. Are we clear on that?"
Ashi simply nodded, "Crystal."
Her grip on the bannister tightened.
She arrived at the library earlier than her agreed schedule with Shinjiro, poring over the book of letters. Like most dreams, it was hard to capture the exact details, almost like gathering water with a sieve. Memory was especially tricky, her brain trying to fill in gaps by convincing herself that this and that were the same. She'd forgotten the contents of the letter in her dreams and was hoping to rediscover it again. With a thousand letters that pined for lost love, it was an enormous exercise. The dream letter may not even exist. But she had to try. It had to mean something.
"You're early."
Ashi's head snapped up to find a pleased Shinjiro. Her mind immediately latched on to the images of him in her dreams. She still could not fathom what significance he could possibly have, the most likely theory simply being that he was her tutor and filled in a placeholder role. She must have stared at his face too long as his smile turned uneasy and faked a cough.
Ashi bent over her book once more. "I just wanted to have a head start."
"That's good!" He said, taking his usual seat across hers. "I too wanted to make some notes in advance."
She merely nodded, resuming her search.
She heard him chuckle. "My, you're certainly enthusiastic today, Mazoku-san. Such a serious expression."
"Mhm." She grunted, turning a page.
It was a full blessed minute before Shinjiro hesitantly spoke again. "Mazoku-san...have you selected five letters you'd like to use for the exam? It's already coming up fast next week and we should make a plan to"-
Ashi huffed as she looked at Shinjiro in annoyance; she answered him by patting down the pages of her open book. Shinjiro took the hint with tinted cheeks. "I am sorry for disturbing you...do continue."
Their table plunged into silence once more, with the occasional scrape of paper and pen tap. Ashi's eyes flickered to the number of the most recent letter she was reading. Two-hundred thirty-three. All this time and she'd barely managed to sift through a quarter of these letters. She thumped her head down in defeat, Shinjiro making a surprised sound.
"Mazoku-san…?"
"A thousand letters. It couldn't be ten or twenty...but a full grand…" She mumbled into her book.
"...Something bothering you?"
She rested her head on one cheek to eye him. "Minamoto-san...don't you think this emperor wasted his time? Hung up on one person for so long that they can't even move on properly. I know you're a sappy romantic….but surely the rational side of you has to agree."
Shinjiro tilted his head. "I'm sorry?"
"Ugh!" Ashi pushed herself to sit up. "You know what I mean. He could have just moved on, forget the pain. Build better relationships instead of being so hung up on a jerk that never bothered with child support."
"What?"
"The past is the past," Ashi ranted on, ignoring his confusion, "why do you need to drag out heartbreak? Life goes on and so should sh—he!"
She propped her elbows, resting her chin in hands, her eyes pointed at Shinjiro, waiting for his input.
He seemed to ponder it, pressing his lips together in thought. "Mazoku-san...it would be so much easier if everyone could be logical all the time. But emotion is what motivates people, no matter how irrational they may be. No one is cut from the same cloth, there will always be layers
and intricacies."
"Well, I can do without those intricacies…" Ashi grumbled, a bit miffed that he could be so eloquently spoken at any given moment. "It only makes things complicated."
Shinjiro smiled wanly at her words, then reached out to steal the book from under her.
"Hey!"
"Mazoku-san, I may sound like a romanticist," Ashi did not know what the hell that was but she let him continue uninterrupted, "but art and beauty cannot exist without emotion, no matter what that may be, happiness…sadness...to be able to make something out of that is distinctively human…" He flipped through the pages with perfunctory ease. Ashi sat straight up, intrigued by where he was going with this. He looked at her, smiling, before reading aloud a passage.
"Lake Hakone. Fuji peeks from the cover of mist and trees, white-capped head held high across gleaming waters. All the grandiose and simple places evoke a different feeling than when we first set eyes on them. I fool myself when I gaze around that you are just somewhere in the corner of my eye. Perhaps behind that tree or shrouded by the shadows of some tall statue. 'You are here', I tell myself, and you always are even when I know the truth. Every sun of every li you have walked, I feel them in my step."
He shut the book and raised his eyes to meet hers again. Shinjiro had always been a good reader, which explained why he was constantly called upon by teachers during lectures. He had a nice resonant voice that did not need to be raised to command attention. Like everyone else, Ashi too found it hard not to be impressed with his way with words. But this was the first time she was truly struck by it. The borrowed words felt like his very own, as though they were truly addressed to her. The heated sensation on her face was proof of that.
"Minamoto-san please! You're embarrassing both of us." She bit her inner cheek, averting her eyes as she tried to change the weird mood. "Let's just get back to work."
She snatched her book back, diving back into the pages. But not before noticing the color flushed across Shinjiro's own face.
That night, Ashi was slumped over her desk, squeezing her brain for a good thesis statement she could use on the exam. Shinjiro refused to spoon-feed her, insisting she had to come up with something on her own, though he did provide useful pointers. She yawned, and propped her legs up on the desk as she sank into her chair, ready to give up. That was when she got a notification on her phone.
I hope you're studying hard. The moon outside is quite beautiful.
-Shinjiro
He attached a photo, which looked to have been taken from his place. She could make out a bamboo fountain in a beautiful koi pond surrounded by rocks and flowering shrubs, and from behind the fence was the night sky or at least two inches of it on the phone screen with the full moon in the corner.
Ashi could not help but reply.
I can barely see the moon. Are you just showing off?
Shinjiro was probably the only student who still lived in a traditional home, a rich one at that. It was no secret his family was rolling in dough. She snickered when he immediately sent a string of messages.
What!
No, of course not!
I'm sorry!
Did it seem like I was showing off?
I tried to get a good shot of the moon from the porch
But from my distance and the fence
It was difficult.
Ashi muffled her laughter with her fist, her eyes on the verge of tearing up. She moved to her bed before replying again, peppering it with lots of laughing kaomojis. God Minamoto-san. You take everything too seriously.
She expected more of his rambling texts, but he sent another attachment instead. A picture of a big white dog, its head napping on what she assumed to be Shinjiro's crossed legs covered in sweatpants on the porch floor. He captioned it with a simple: Wolfie.
Appropriately named, she thought as she bombarded the message box with a dozen heart and dog emojis. Encouraged by her response, he sent more photos of his dog in various angles. Ashi laid on her back, scrolling through the uploaded pictures. She almost dropped the phone to her face when Shinjiro's face popped up in one of them. A selfie of him and a now-awake Wolfie, who looked irritated with a menacing glare and hint of teeth. Shinjiro didn't seem bothered and had an arm around the fluffy beast, smiling at the camera.
She rolled onto her stomach. Ashi had never seen him in anything other than his school uniform. He looked so much more relaxed in just a sleeveless undershirt that emphasized his arms. She never realized he had such strong, toned musc-
Wait, no, No, NO.
She was not ogling Shinjiro Minamoto. There were more than enough girls do that for her.
It was just the novelty of seeing him so casual, she reasoned. His perpetually swept back hair was unstyled and tousled in the photo, stray locks falling over his forehead. Was this how he looked everyday after school?
I'm sure his admirers would pay good money for this.
Another message from him.
Sorry for spamming. I hope you get a good night's sleep. I'm going to bed soon, I have to wake up early for dojo.
Ashi was starting to feel sleepy herself, but she still had to come up with a thesis. She shot him a parting good night and intended to put a star from the recent emojis menu but sent out a heart instead (from the Wolfie cute-fest). Should she clarify? Seemed unnecessary though.
Whatever. She thought, chucking her phone away. It wasn't uncommon for girls to use emojis liberally anyway. She resumed her schoolwork. This time, everything coming easily to her.
She dreamt of him again. This long-haired version of Shinjiro.
However, there was something different about him. He looked a bit...off. But she could not quite put her finger on it. He sat on his heels across Ashi, who was seated in the same manner.
"Where are we?" She asked, trying to make out the stretching cosmos that surrounded them. Unlike her previous dreams, this time, she was actually aware that this was one.
"I would like to know the same thing." Shinjiro's doppelganger spoke, his eyes focused solely on her, a gentle expression on his face. "I suppose I'm dreaming."
Ashi shook her head. "No, this is my dream."
"Then….we're both dreaming." He said, nodding his head with his own affirmation.
Ashi frowned. "Um okay...I still don't understand why"-
"I've missed you."
His sudden admission startled her. "What? We just saw each other today at school."
"School?"
"Yes!" Ashi said, her stomach fluttering from his enamoured gaze. "Just today. Remember?"
"That can't be." He cocked his head to the side, bottom lip pushing out in thought. "I've only had scraps of your presence all these years but I never forget."
"What?" Ashi's brows furrowed. "Scraps? Years?"
"In dreams." Shinjiro sighed out, crestfallen. "Since you vanished from me…I've only been able to meet you again like this. This is the third one. But...it is the first time we're speaking like this. I'm grateful."
Third one. He was counting the same dreams.
"Yes, but what do you mean years? The last dream I had was just"— She paused as she finally figured out what was bugging her about his appearance. Peering closer, she realized that this Shinjiro looked older. He still retained every bit of his boyish charm and handsomeness, but there was no mistaking the lines in the corner of his eyes and the wider breadth of his shoulders. If she had to pull out numbers, she'd say he was in his thirties.
Ashi blinked and squinted - but nothing changed.
"You're old!" The words flew out before she could think and immediately clapped a hand to her mouth. Shinjiro's eyes widened in surprise at her outburst. Then, he laughed. A deep, hearty melodious one, not of mockery.
"I guess I am…" His eyes crinkled in amusement, then softened. "It's been years, but my heart is filled with joy to see you again." He closed his eyes, as though to fully savor the moment. "I'm never sure when I'll see you again...perhaps decades from now if I'm lucky."
Ashi did not know what to say. "Minamoto-san…"
At this, Shinjiro blinked up perplexedly.
"You're addressing me?"
"Well, yes." Ashi frowned. "It's your name. Minamoto Shinjiro."
"My real name is Shinjiro," He uttered softly, "but I have always gone by one name to you."
"One name?"
"Yes." He smiled enigmatically, eyes shining brightly. "Remember? It's Jac"—
Ashi's eyes snapped open as her phone alarm beeped on. Still lying on her back, she reached for it and shut it off. She looked up to the ceiling, watching the dust motes dance in the sunlight as she replayed the dream inside her head.
The man claimed he really was Shinjiro. But that couldn't be. He was, whom she deduced to be, an emperor and Shinjiro, the one she knew, was a high school senior just like her. Even if they looked the same, they couldn't be the same person.
Ashi combed a hand through her hair, still laying in contemplation.
Perhaps...she was overanalyzing. A dream was a dream. Nothing more. Clearly the stress of studying and the looming make-up exam was getting to her. The sooner she passed the test, the sooner she could forget about letters and dreams.
She got up from bed, resolved.
