Regina's mind was spinning as her knee bounced uncontrollably on the log where she sat next to Robin. Her eyes were glued to his tattoo that peeked out from his jacket sleeve as he consistently poked at the fire in front of them. She could feel the warmth of the flames against the fabric of her pantsuit and coat, adding to the warmth her nerves were already causing in the pit of her stomach.
It had been back and forth for the couple of hours since she showed up at his camp after her talk with Snow, alternating from kissing until they both needed to breathe, long stretches of silence where Robin's hand rested on her knee, and small conversations about their lives. They decided - in between their many makeouts - that taking it slow would be the best option for both of them and their boys. Especially with the danger that was lurking in the shadows, threatening them. Regina needed to stay focused so she could get rid of her wicked sister and figure out a way to get her son's memories of her restored. She wasn't sure how much longer her heart could stand the hollow stares from the child she has lovingly raised from infancy.
The light from the flames glowed on his skin and she listened with rapt attention as he rambled on about that adorable son of his again, telling her a fascinating story about Roland catching his first fish back in the Enchanted Forest when he was three - entirely by accident. Robin told her Roland was playing in the shallow part of the stream where the Merry Men were fishing when a small salmon jumped up into his shirt. Regina beamed as Robin's entire face lit up recalling his son's initial panic that turned into excitement and curiosity.
They grew lost in each other's eyes for a while, the only sound from the flames and the forest night life around them. Regina could feel the wild phantom beating of her heart even though it wasn't in her chest, her stomach fluttering with warmth. Robin reached forward to push a lock of her hair behind her ear. She released a breath at the feeling of his hand grazing her cheek and against her dangly earring.
He took hold of both of her hands, smoothing his thumbs over her skin. He peered over at her through the heavy expression that clouded his features. She swallowed down the intensity as he opened his mouth and began to speak again. For the next hour or so they exchanged experiences with family and their losses, realizing that both of their lives were similarly tragic. Regina was hesitant at first but with how at ease she felt in Robin's presence she found the painful words rolled naturally off her tongue. She felt as if she could tell him anything. Being near him was calming and his words and actions so supportive...it was intoxicating.
She looked down at his tattoo again, feeling an ache where her heart wasn't. She wanted to tell him about the pixie dust and that he was her soulmate, mouth open and ready to tell him, but she just couldn't find the words. Fear seized at her, holding her voice hostage. Robin tilted his head, watching her intently and continuing to massage the muscles in the palms of her hand. He regarded her sorrowfully, lips curled in a pained smile. He let go of her hands and raised one of his to cup the side of her cheek. Tears welled in the corners of her eyes, the coolness of his hand a welcome relief to the heat of her skin. He leaned in, his eyes on her lips, and she really thought he was going to kiss her again -
"Papa!"
They both jumped, sliding to opposite ends of the log as a young boy burst out of one of the tents in tears and barreled toward his father. The boy was whimpering about nightmares and flying monkeys as Robin scooped him up into his lap. Regina watched the two in silent reverence, entranced by the gentle care with which Robin tended to his young son. She'd seen them together around town quite a bit, watching them from a distance. Wanting to approach them but staying away, knowing the danger that could befall them just from being associated with her.
Robin patted his son's back, glancing up at her and mouthing a sincere 'sorry.' Regina shook her head, telling him it was okay. Robin explained Roland had been having the nightmares since they arrived in town with everyone else a month earlier. Regina couldn't help but think of her own son, that phantom ache in her chest returning. Henry had a whole phase of nightmares when he was six that lasted for almost a year. There was many a night during which he ended up in Regina's bed sometime before morning, cuddling into her side and clinging for dear life. Oh how she missed those days when it was just the two of them - before he found out he was adopted, of course.
Roland continued to cry in his father's arms and Regina winced as it grew louder. Robin held him tighter, rocking him and humming a melody she didn't recognize. She could tell he was growing frustrated and she finds herself wanting to take that little boy in her arms to soothe him but she hesitated. Robin was Roland's father and she didn't want to overstep her bounds or question his ability as a parent. She settled insead for watching them quietly, letting Robin comfort his son. She didn't have her heart but she didn't need it to tell her she was already falling even deeper for this man, her insides melting at the love, patience, and tenderness in the way he cared for his son. It terrified her to no end, having lost so much already.
The sight of them was just too much, really, even though Roland wasn't any less upset than he'd been since waking up. She reached out her hand, laying it over Robin's where it rested on Roland's back. Robin looked up, his eyes tired. Regina nodded down to the toddler, her voice soft. "Mind if I try?"
Robin kissed the top of Roland's head, releasing a breath as the boy cried even more. He turned to Regina, shrugging. "By all means." He shifted his son on his lap so the toddler could see her. Roland rubbed his red puffy eyes, his bottom lip trembling as he lay his head on his father's shoulder and peered over at her.
It broke Regina's absent heart to see the boy so miserable. She smiled the best she could, leaning toward him and bending down to meet his eye level. The toddler regarded her curiously, hiding into his father's chest. "Hey there, little guy." Regina kept her voice soft. "Have you ever seen magic?"
Roland sniffled and shook his head, rubbing his eyes again. Robin raised his eyebrow and Regina sent him a reassuring grin, winking at him. She told Roland to look up and watch the sky closely, hiding her hand behind her back. While Roland's focus remained upward, Regina expertly waved her fingers out of his view,
Bright bursts of colored lights exploded in the sky above them and Regina smiled wide as Roland's face lit up with wonder. Regina chuckled, both hands now expelling magic. A bright green arrowhead danced across the sky and Roland giggled, cheering for more and clapping his hands. Robin's focus drew upward as well, his mouth hung open in awe. He turned to her, eyes still wide and locked in with hers.
Regina inhaled sharply and her heart surely would have skipped if it were within her. This man affected her in ways no one ever could, even without access to her full range of emotion without her heart. Such simple actions, the truest of intentions from him, and she was drawn in deeper each time. She couldn't even deny it from herself anymore, how much she was taken with this 'thief'. From the way he was gazing at her, she was getting the idea that the feeling was very much mutual.
Roland cheered more as she ended her fireworks display. He giggled and Regina raised the tissue she conjured to dry his tears. "There, that's better." She cooed, sending the tissue away. Roland's cheeks reddened and she sent him a smile. The magic within her sparked an idea, her fingers snapping. A large, grey, stuffed monkey appeared in Roland's arms and the boy gasped, grinning from ear to ear. "Something to cuddle when you sleep - show you that monkeys aren't scary at all." Regina bopped him on the nose and he giggled. "And this one's special - it will protect you all through the night."
Roland squealed in delight, hugging the stuffed animal. "'Tank you R'Gina!" He crawled forward, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Regina caught Robin watching them fondly out of the corner of her eye and smiled back at him.
"Alright, my boy - shall we take the magical monkey out for a test ride?" Robin tickled him and Roland giggled.
"His name Bo, papa." Roland announced, holding the monkey out to show him.
"Excellent choice!" Robin picked him up and stood. "Say goodnight to the Queen, son."
"Night, Majesty!" Roland blew her a kiss and she sent one back to him.
Regina settled patiently on the log, her legs crossed, as Robin carried Roland to the tent. While the two went through Roland's nighttime routine, Regina found herself entranced with the flames. A lightness settled over her, starting to crack at those walls that ached for her own son. The feeling was oddly familiar which confused her to no end, but she chose to go with it. She enjoyed spending time with Robin and Roland and she didn't want that to end. She needed this - the distraction, the interactions. She didn't want to think about her wicked sister or memory-challenged son or anything else she was failing miserably at.
Robin exited the tent and joined her on the log, their knees brushing as he took both of her hands in his and brought them to his lips. "You are incredible, milady. For weeks I've fought with him to go to bed after his nightmares. A few minutes with the Queen and he's putty in your hands - and out like a light."
Regina blushed, shrugging. "What can I say, it's a mother's touch."
"It's you." Robin kissed her hand again. "Now...where were we before you so thoroughly charmed my son?"
Regina's eyes twinkled, a smirk on her lips. "I do believe you were about to kiss me, Thief." Before she could even finish speaking, his lips were on hers and she melted into him. She sighed contently as his hands moved delicately through her hair pulling her closer to him and deepening the kiss.
Some might have called her crazy, but in that moment Regina was certain that wherever her heart was, it was sending off a pretty spectacular fireworks display of its own.
