Well, I had to do it I suppose…a McKeller Christmas fic. Turn back now before it's too late if that doesn't do it for you.;)
The usual legal niceties here: I don't own Stargate Atlantis or its characters. I think MGM has the rights, bless their hearts.
Takes place well after 'Brain Storm' I suppose. No spoilers for any specific episodes, I don't think.
It's a Christmas story, and I realize that an international expedition would also presumably mean a multi-religion expedition, it's my fic.;) No offence is intended to those who don't celebrate Christmas.
A thousand thanks to my incredible beta, nodoubtfan. You're the best.
I'd appreciate any feedback you have, and Merry Christmas to you and yours.
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The Christmas Gift Exchange, or CGE as it was abbreviated on all the requisition forms and official reports, was an idea conceived of out of the best of intentions by Elizabeth Weir. Rumors ran rampant at the time that it was then Major Sheppard who suggested the idea and pouted incessantly until she agreed, but they were unsubstantiated rumors. Names were selected on a random basis by a computer and matched up to other names that were also selected randomly, and while someone might be selected to give a gift to a particular person, there was no guarantee that he or she would get a gift back from that person. It was the ultimate Secret Santa deal.
The majority of those in Atlantis did celebrate Christmas as a rule, but not all. Those who did not want to participate for whatever reasons, be it philosophical, religious or personal, didn't have to.
Virtually everyone did, however, the message of peace and good will to all people the holiday espoused taking on new meaning in the Pegasus Galaxy. It also helped that the men and women of Atlantis had been through so much which brought about a camaraderie that, for many, equaled family.
Plus, there were gifts involved.
It was Radek who designed the computer program responsible for generating the list of people that were to exchange gifts, Rodney having declared rather loudly and on more than one occasion that he was far too busy to waste his precious time on something so trivial and, to Radek's consternation, menial. And though Radek swore up and down every wall in Atlantis that the choices were completely random, some still wondered, for the program generated some- unusual- pairings.
The first time the program was used, for example, Elizabeth was tasked with getting something for Kavanagh, which didn't sit well with the expedition leader as one might expect with Kavanagh's well known disdain for her leadership. In the end she bore it all with a smile, albeit a forced one, and nodded politely when Kavanagh begrudgingly thanked her for his new personal grooming kit.
The second year, Sheppard was supposed to get something for Hermiod, which was problematic at best as Sheppard found out. What does one get a short, super-intelligent alien that lived on a battle cruiser and didn't wear clothes? Sheppard's solution was as elegant as it was simple: he got the Asgard a nice theme neutral card of appreciation. Sheppard had been very glad indeed that he wasn't there when the card was delivered.
The third year, it was declared by the program that Ronon should get something for General O'Neill. This was the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak, for no one could figure out how O'Neill's name had even gotten on the list. Nor was there any inkling of how Hermiod had gotten on the list the year before. Yet Radek still swore to the security and capability of the program.
In year four of the CGE's existence, the computer program declared that Samantha Carter would have to get Colonel Ellis a gift. Rumors of a fling between the two Colonels died a quick death, (Sam let it slip on purpose that she couldn't stand the man,) and were replaced with renewed accusations a faulty program or outside interference, both of which Radek fiercely denied were possible. In the end, Sam, like Elizabeth before her, did her best to go with the flow and got the Colonel a new name plate for his desk aboard the Apollo. Sam later confided to Jennifer Keller that she hoped the Colonel spent more time looking at the name plate than he spent on Atlantis.
A lot more.
When the list came out for year five and no oddities arose and no complaints were heard, (or filed- Kavanagh!), Radek took great pleasure in pointing it out to anyone who would listen.
Jennifer Keller had hoped that she would have to get a gift for Rodney, but was only mildly disappointed when she was informed via e-mail that she was to give a gift to Chuck. She genuinely liked Rodney's compatriot and had no trouble at all with giving the gate tech a gift. She still had a gift for Rodney, of course, and she'd had it for a while, but there was something different about giving him a gift in a public arena like the CGE party as opposed to in private. Their relationship was a low-key affair, a mutual decision made necessary by the nature of their positions, and even though everyone knew about them it would have been nice to have it flaunted about for an evening, or even a small part of the evening.
It was wrong of her to think in such a way, she knew, but she couldn't help it. It smothered a small piece of her heart knowing that they couldn't be themselves in public, that Rodney couldn't hold her hand in the Mess as he loved to do when they were in her quarters; or that she couldn't play with the short hair on the back of his head in the Infirmary as she loved to do when they were alone.
Jennifer glanced at the calendar on her laptop and realized that there were only three weeks left to get Chuck a suitable present. She knew that that time would go by quickly, to say nothing about the logistical problem of getting a gift from another galaxy. She stood up from her desk and headed for the door. It was time to have a chat with Chuck.
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"Who were you supposed to get something for?" asked Ronon to his companion as they walked towards the Mess.
"Woolsey," replied Sheppard evenly. He gave Ronon a glance and shrugged his shoulders when the big Satedan gave him an amused smirk. "I don't know. Anyway, I got him a new leather folder to carry his notebook around in." Sheppard led them around the corner, bringing the Mess in sight. "You got Lorne, right?"
"Yeah," said Ronon. "I gave him a combat knife."
Sheppard smiled, slowed to a stop and said, "A knife, huh? Now why doesn't that surprise me?"
Ronon kept walking but turned enough to give Sheppard a deadpan look as he said, "Beats me."
Sheppard's smile dropped as he rushed to catch up to his friend. When he did he said, "Remind me not to teach you any more Earth expressions."
They both stopped and looked around the lightly decorated Mess. It had been agreed in the first year that the decorations would be sparse in respect to those who didn't want to celebrate the season. A few strings of garland and a few sets of lights were the only items that weren't usually in the Mess on a run of the mill evening. And of course the loaded down table of presents.
"There's Keller, Teyla and Torren," said Sheppard with a point in their direction.
"Yeah," said Ronon without even sparing them a glance.
Sheppard managed to keep his face neutral but inwardly he sighed. Ronon had taken the whole Rodney and Jennifer thing hard, at least that was the way it seemed to him. Ronon never talked about it, and where work was concerned there was nothing done or said by anyone that indicated tension between them, but outside of work Ronon took great pains to avoid Jennifer. Rodney not so much, as he could pretty much tell McKay where to go and how to get there, but not Jennifer.
"There are a couple of seats over there," said Sheppard as he motioned on the opposite direction of Teyla and Keller.
Ronon was already moving quickly towards them. "Good."
With a shake of his head Sheppard rushed to catch up to Ronon. When he did he shot a quick glance to Teyla and Jennifer, and then nearly tripped over some Marine's foot when he tried to concentrate on reading their lips instead of actually watching where he was going.
He sat down and glanced around the room. He was really surprised that there was no sign of Rodney. For the first year, the Grinch had come in and leaned up against the wall near the entrance with his arms folded across his chest and a scowl on his face that would send most people scurrying in the opposite direction. Some of it was due to the fact that Elizabeth, citing his leadership position and needing to set an example for others, made him come despite the fact that attendance and participation were voluntary, but more of it was caused by Rodney's loneliness and how it was brought to the forefront on such an occasion. For some reason, he'd always managed to weasel out of coming to the party after that first one.
This year however, he really expected Rodney to come with Keller, their relationship having already overcome many of the barriers that Rodney's natural disposition automatically constructed. And there could have been a million reasons why Rodney hadn't come to the party, such as it was. He just really hoped that it wasn't another case of Rodney being Rodney.
Jennifer deserved better than that, and so did he.
It didn't take long until Woolsey, looking as though he'd rather be just about anywhere else, walked into the room amid a tidal wave of half concealed snickers of amusement and wild-eyed stares of disbelief that seemed to roll along the group as Woolsey walked through it. And Sheppard couldn't blame them at all, for there was Richard Woolsey, bureaucrat and sometime stick-in-the-mud, standing in front of so many people, surrounded by dozens of brightly wrapped presents and wearing a red and white Santa hat.
Sheppard chanced a look at Ronon and wasn't disappointed. The big man was looking at the expedition leader like he had lost his mind. A moment later he turned to Sheppard, and the way Ronon looked at him was so funny that John didn't dare try to speak to him. Instead he just shrugged his shoulders.
Ronon shook his head and turned back to glare suspiciously at Woolsey, and Sheppard took a peek at Teyla and Jennifer. Two of the female Marines were talking to Teyla and Torren, and though Jennifer was smiling politely at them, he could see that she was less than happy with the situation.
Damn it, Rodney! he thought bitterly. I'll be damned if I'm going to let you screw this up!
He reached over and tapped Ronon on his arm to get his attention. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
Ronon nodded and Sheppard stood up and made his way quickly towards the exit. Once he was in the corridor he broke into a quick march towards the lab. He'd bet his wings that that's where his wayward friend would be.
A short while later he walked into the lightly lit lab and stopped to stare at the scene before him: his wings were perfectly safe where they were.
There was Rodney sitting at his desk, his face awash in the blue glow given off by the computer in front of him. His shoulders were slightly slumped, and it looked as though the only reason his head was staying up was because his right arm, with elbow on the table and hand underneath his chin, was propping it up. He was looking at some piece of technology next to the computer, but Sheppard could see that McKay wasn't really looking at it and was off in his own little world somewhere.
He started walking towards McKay, taking care not to make any noise for fear that Rodney would see him coming and already have his excuses lined up in a neat little row. "Why aren't you in the Mess?" he asked rather loudly when he managed to make it to Rodney without alerting him.
Rodney jumped in his seat, slamming both hands instinctively on the table and glared at Sheppard. "It's none of your business why I'm not in the Mess!" he exclaimed icily. "Why aren't you in the Mess instead of here trying to scare the life out of me!"
Sheppard stood in front of Rodney and placed his hands on the desk that was separating them. "Rodney," he warned, "come on. Jennifer is up there and she looks like she could use some cheering up, and for some reason you seem to be able to do that."
John hadn't missed the brief flicker of emotion on Rodney's face when he said Jennifer's name, but it was short lived when his friend realized what he was saying.
"I…I can't. I have," he motioned to the piece of technology in front of him, "things to do." Before Sheppard could even call him a liar Rodney averted his eyes from the Colonel and added, "And you know social gatherings like that aren't really in my comfort zone. So there."
Sheppard sighed and rolled his eyes. He leaned closer to Rodney, allowing his arms to take some of his weight. "Suck it up, McKay," he said harshly, and he got the result he was hoping for when Rodney's attention snapped to him. "You've been alone and miserable for most of the time I've known you, and now you have a woman, a beautiful and intelligent woman mind you, that loves you." He paused for a second and organized his thoughts before continuing. The best was to make Rodney to see the light was to be as blunt as possible. "She loves you, Rodney, and you know it." He stood up straight and folded his arms across his chest. "I don't know how she does it. The poor woman's gotta be worn out between putting up with your crap and trying to help you keep from making an ass out of yourself for your own good."
Rodney hung his head, and it was as close as Sheppard had ever come to seeing Rodney McKay being chagrined.
Sheppard lowered his arms and took the few steps necessary to move around the desk and stand next to McKay. He put his hand on the scientist's shoulder and said, "You love each other, Rodney." He took a deep breath and departed a piece of wisdom he had learned the hard way a long time ago. "Love is hard work, believe me," he paused when Rodney turned to look at him, surprised perhaps at what he was saying or the somber reminiscence in his voice, Sheppard couldn't tell. "The only way to make it work is to give as much as you take. For example, Jennifer went to that Tunney thing, even though a room full of, well, people like you, was probably the last place she wanted to be. But she went because you asked her to." He gently slapped Rodney's shoulder and put his hands in his pockets. "Jennifer would like you to be with her up there, and she has probably asked, right?" When Rodney nodded weakly John raised his eyebrows and asked, "And you love her, right?" Again Rodney nodded, though this time it was that arrogant and confident nod that he used whenever he was sure of something. "Then come on and give a little."
John turned around and took a step towards the door. "Besides," he said as he stopped and gave Rodney a look over his shoulder, "you wouldn't want to miss seeing Woolsey in a Santa hat!"
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Jennifer returned to her seat after receiving her gift from Woolsey and placed it on the table. She sighed sadly and placed her hands on her lap as she regarded the gift; it was rectangular shaped, wrapped in shiny gold colored wrapping paper, and topped off with a beautiful red bow. It wasn't very heavy, which was surprising for the size of it.
She sighed again, not caring one way or the other if she opened it or not. Her heart simply wasn't in it. Her hope that Rodney would change his mind and join her had turned to ash in her chest when Woolsey walked in and there was no sign of him. And now Teyla and Torren were gone, having left so that the little boy could have a much needed nap.
Her hands slowly rose up from her lap and touched the present. There was no tag on the top of the box, so her right hand carefully grasped the gift and turned it around. After still finding no tag, she gently lifted the gift from the table and peered at the bottom. Her brow creased at the lack of a tag there as well and she replaced the present on the table.
Great! she thought irritably. How am I supposed to thank someone for a gift when I have no idea who gave it to me?
"Well aren't you going to open it?" asked Rodney as he sat down next to her.
She turned to look at him and did her best fish out of water gulping for air impression. When she finally recovered from her surprise at seeing him she said, "I thought you weren't coming."
She didn't mean to make it sound as harsh as she did, especially when he cringed as though she'd actually thrown something at him. But she couldn't help the disappointment, and yes anger, at him for not coming any more than she could help falling in love with him in the first place.
She watched as his gaze darted to her present on the table and then to nowhere in particular beyond her right shoulder. "I wasn't," he said quietly. "I mean I wanted to, but I don't…I'm not…" he sighed and tried again. "I'm sorry."
Jennifer turned in her seat to face him, then reached her hand over and placed it on his. "I'm sorry too, Rodney." She caressed his hand and smiled apologetically at him. "I shouldn't have pressured you to come. I know that you don't feel comfortable…"
"Someone told me that love is a lot of work," interrupted Rodney as he looked into her eyes and then turned his hand around so their fingers could intertwine.
That gesture made Jennifer stare at him in exhilarated disbelief, as it was the first time that Rodney had done something so overtly intimate in a public setting; and the profoundness of the statement made Jennifer watch him intently.
"It occurs to me that since we…I mean you've been giving a lot, and putting up with a lot, with me I mean, and because of me, and the least I could do is give a little for you too." Rodney peered into her eyes and asked a little desperately, "Did that make any sense?"
She nodded emphatically to alleviate his fears. "It did to me," she said with a reassuring squeeze of his hand. She gave him a knowing look and asked, "Who helped you come to that conclusion?"
Rodney looked across the room to where Sheppard was sitting with Ronon, and Jennifer couldn't help but smile when she looked over too and Sheppard quickly glanced away from them as though he didn't want to get caught spying on them.
She looked back to Rodney. "And what else did he say?"
Rodney shook his head said cryptically, "He said all sorts of things, but I can't tell you what. It's against the Male Bonding Chat rules."
Jennifer couldn't help but laugh at the way he said that, with such sincerity and without so much as a grin. Her laughter drew curious and odd looks from those around them but she didn't care.
Rodney motioned to the gift on the table with a jut of his chin. "Aren't you going to open it?"
Jennifer glanced at the gift and back to Rodney again. "I have no idea who gave it to me."
"Hmn…no tag?" he said with some curiosity. "Maybe it's inside."
Jennifer's eyes narrowed in self-annoyance. She should have thought of that. She reluctantly extricated her hand from Rodney's and reached over and picked up the box. She found the edge of the wrapping and began tearing the paper away, and as each second ticked by and as another scrap of paper fell to the table the more excited she became, though she had no idea why.
At least not until she saw what was inside the box. She lifted the item up and gently placed it on the table next to the now empty box. She ran her slender index finger along the edge of the item, and her heart exploded with childhood memories, memories of a loving mother, play jewelry and gentle music.
With shaking fingers she lifted the lid of the jewelry box and smiled wistfully as the familiar tune reached her ears from within the box.
She listened to the tune for a few seconds before closing it. She looked up at Rodney, and through misty eyes she could see him watching her with concern. "How…I can't believe you remembered."
And she really couldn't, and she thought back to that day…
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They had gone shopping in Colorado Springs the day before they were scheduled to board the Daedalus to return to Atlantis after the Space-Time Bridge mess, at her insistence of course. Not that she really had to insist…she simply mentioned she was going to go shopping and Rodney actually volunteered to go with her. Of course, the fact that Colonel Mitchell also volunteered to escort her through Colorado Springs may have played a small part in Rodney's surprising actions, but she couldn't have cared less for the reason just as long as he accompanied her.
At any rate, they were walking through the downtown section of the city, and Rodney was talking about something scientific that went over her head. He was so engrossed in his explanation of it that he hadn't even noticed that she'd stopped to look at something in one of the shop windows and kept walking for ten feet or so.
She couldn't believe what she was seeing in the display in the store window. The light pink and mauve jewelry box, adorned with four perfectly shaped, pink ribbon bows and ten meticulously painted, pretty ballerinas in various poses, looked exactly like the one her parents had given her for Christmas when she was five years old. It had been the prettiest thing five year old Jennifer had ever seen, and the music it played, the name of which she couldn't recall, was simply beautiful.
"Jennifer?" asked an obviously concerned Rodney as she reached up to touch the glass that separated her from the jewelry box.
Jennifer gave Rodney a melancholy smile. "That jewelry box reminds me of one that my parents gave me a long time ago," she said softly, as though talking about it too loudly would hurt her more than the memories already did. "I used to open it and listen to the music it played for hours at a time." She gave him embarrassed look. "There was one time that I'd wound the key for the music so many times that my fingers were sore." She turned her gaze back to the jewelry box and sighed as she removed her hand from the window, and then turned back to Rodney, whose face was slightly contorted in sympathy for her. "I still can't remember how, but it was lost. The only thing my parents could think of was that it was accidentally thrown out one time when we did some renovations." She glanced back at the box as she said, "I was devastated." She turned back to Rodney. "It seems silly now, but back then I was so upset, and my father felt so bad…"
Rodney felt uncomfortable for a split second, trying to decide the best approach to dealing with the woman he loved being so upset. Before he even realized what he was doing he reached over and pulled Jennifer into a hug.
They stayed like that for several minutes, Rodney holding Jennifer and Jennifer reliving those simpler times. When she finally pulled back from him she gave him that knee bending smile she liked to use on him and said, "Thank you."
"You're wel…" Rodney began, but was cut off by the simultaneous beeping that emanated from Jennifer's purse and his pocket. They both pulled out the phones issued to them by the SGC in case of emergency and read the caller ID: SGC.
Rodney nodded at Jennifer to take the call as he waved at a passing taxi, which all but slammed on the brakes and just barely managed to pull into the curb next to them.
Rodney reached over and opened the door as Jennifer put her phone away.
"Our ride is leaving earlier than expected," she said enigmatically as she stopped next to him for a second. "A car will be waiting to take us inside when we get to the main gate."
Jennifer leaned down and maneuvered herself into the cab, scooting over to give Rodney enough room to get in as well. As Rodney told the driver where to take them, Jennifer turned and gave the jewelry box one last look.
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"How did you get it? When did you get it?" she asked, the slight hesitation and higher than normal pitch of her voice betraying her complete shock to him. They hadn't been back to Earth since that day; Earth still didn't have a ZPM that would enable them to initiate contact Atlantis or send anything to the gate; and visits from Daedalus and Apollo had been scarce.
Rodney sat up a little straighter in his chair and his chin lifted smugly. "I memorized the name of the place as you got in the cab," he said with some pride at being able to keep it from her for so long. "When we got back to the SGC I looked up the number and called them. He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, (at least he hoped it came off as nonchalantly), and added, "A credit card number and rush delivery later I had it stowed carefully in my bag before we boarded the Daedalus."
Jennifer's eyes opened wider than they already were. "You've had this for almost two months?"
"I have," replied Rodney, the self-satisfaction in his voice nearly matched by amusement. His arrogance fled his face and his voice and was replaced by trepidation. "Do you like it?"
"No," Jennifer said with a shake of her head that dislodged a single tear from her eye that went careening down her cheek. She left that hanging in the air between them just long enough to see the look of horror flash across Rodney's face before saying, "I love it." She smiled at his sigh of relief. "Thank you so much." She reached over and put her hand on the back of his neck and pulled him towards her until her lips pressed against his.
They remained in that position for a few seconds, and when they broke apart Rodney said, "You're welcome."
"Hey, Doc, Rodney," said Sheppard and they both turned to see Sheppard standing there regarding them with an oddly smug look upon his face. He leaned down so that he could whisper to them, "Get a room."
John and Jennifer shared a laugh while Rodney scowled and rolled his eyes at the Colonel.
"Nice jewelry box, Doc," said John after a brief silence. "Who gave it to you?"
"I did," responded Rodney quickly and he added warily, "Why?"
John stood up straight and folded his arms across his chest. "You did?" he said to Rodney. When Rodney nodded John asked, "What are the odds that Zelenka's program would match you to Jennifer not long after you two got together?"
Rodney gulped at the question, but managed to sound sufficiently annoyed when he spoke. "I have no idea, Sheppard. Go ask Zelenka."
"I already did," replied Sheppard. "I forget the exact numbers and technical detail, but I think he used the word 'astronomical' at least three times." Sheppard looked upward and feigned deep thought. "And for the last four years you got gifts for Elizabeth, Katie, Carson and Teyla …all good friends and easy people to get gifts for. That seems a little too coincidental to me."
Rodney glanced to Jennifer looking for help, but was irked when she appeared to be catching onto what Sheppard was implying and enjoying his predicament. He turned a scathing glare at Sheppard. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Colonel. I didn't design the program nor did I alter it in any way, shape or form. And I resent…"
"Stow it, Rodney," Sheppard said with a point of his finger. "I understand why you did what you did, and I don't mind," he added with a dismissive shrug of his shoulders.
Rodney regarded Sheppard dubiously. "You don't?"
Sheppard shook his head and then held out his arms imploringly as he asked, "But why did you give me Hermiod?"
Rodney stood up and gave Sheppard a smile that could only be described as evil. "I didn't," he replied, and as Sheppard opened his mouth to say something Rodney said, "That was Elizabeth's idea."
Sheppard's jaw dropped as Rodney picked Jennifer's gift up off the table, shifting it so he could hold it with one hand, and then reached out to Jennifer with the other. Jennifer took his hand and lifted up to her feet and followed Rodney as he maneuvered through the Mess toward the door, leaving the slack-jawed Colonel in their wake. As they walked through the exit Jennifer glanced back and laughed out loud at the sight of the Colonel still rooted to the same spot with his arms still akimbo and his mouth still hanging wide open.
When they were far enough away so that they wouldn't be heard by anyone in the Mess Jennifer tugged on Rodney's hand to get him to stop. When he turned to face her she asked, "Was it really Elizabeth's idea?"
Rodney nodded. "Yes it was. She found out that I manipulated the program so that she had to give a gift to Kavanagh, so the next year she made me match Sheppard with Hermiod instead of, well, exacting revenge on me. Elizabeth was an amazing woman and a wonderful friend," he said and then he added with a reminiscent smile, "but she had a bit of a sadistic humor streak in her."
Jennifer let loose a snort of laughter and gently yanked on Rodney's arm enough to get him to close the already small distance between them.
"Thank you," she said with as much sincerity as she was able to find within her soul, "for everything…for the beautiful and thoughtful gift, for coming…"
"Thank you," he interrupted, "for, well, you know, for being you."
Jennifer reached up and rested her hand against his cheek. "I love you."
Rodney looked into her eyes and said, "I love you too."
Those who walked through that corridor of Atlantis a moment later were witness to something truly special- two lovers showing each other how much they meant to each other through a kiss so intense that they couldn't help but be envious of it.
And when they realized who it was, some thought of it as a miracle brought on by the season, though not as many as Rodney would have thought.
