A/N: !00% silly, 100% pervy and 100% non-canon. Enjoy!

Good girl.

A 25 year old Tsunade was walking down the streets of Konoha wrapped up in her own thoughts, taking inventory of her own life. And it was not good news. After her former boyfriend Dans death 6 years ago, her one true love, she had forsaken a lot of things. Her honor, her pride and her morality. She had no moral character left, not a single moral fibre ran through her body. For 6 years now she had let herself be dishonored again and again. She was a used woman now. All her innocence spent, and not spent wisely.

Yes, 6 years ago now. Right after her beloved, and truest love Dan, had so tragically died. She had done the unthinkable. Yes it was true, yes it was all true. The horrible truth of it all was all out there for one and all to see. One night about 6 years ago she had taken that huge fool, imbecile, moron and... stupid guy!... as her lover.

She looked over at Jiraiya who was walking next to her in the street. He was carrying a brown paper bag, full with groceries, underneath his right arm with Tsunade walking too his left. She took a step closer to him and wrapped her right arm around his left. She pulled herself close and leaned her head on Jiraiyas shoulder. He had to take some responsibility and offer her some emotional support while she was having a self-pity-party over here. After all he was half-responsible for this. At least!

Tsunade had always been a good girl. She had always done as her grandfather and her senseis had told her too. An exemplary, hard working student, a polite girl who always respected her elders. The only one who called her a good girl now was Jiraiya when they... well, yeah.

Tsunade blushed at the thought and she tightend her grip on his arm and rubbed her cheek firmly into his shoulder. Jiraiya stroked his finger reassuringly against her hip to let her know he was there for her, but Tsunade just scoffed slightly and carried on her train of thought.

She had always imagined that she would lose her virginity the way a proper nobleborn lady like herself should. Like a storybook romance on her wedding night with Dan. He would be gentle with her, while she had a droplet of a tear in the corner of her eye while they were tender and loving with eachother. But no. She had been stone drunk and naked, lying with her back on a wooden floor with Jiraiya on top of her. Neither of them had any experience or any idea of what they were doing. Seeing her body, along with the touch and feel of it, had made Jiraiya unable to hold back. He had pounded into her with that massive thing of his so roughly and fast. How her body had been able to take all of him from the get go, she would never understand.

There had been pain at the start of it, but it had been easy for her to handle. In her life as a ninja she had been stabbed, burned, poisoned and much more after all. While she had been able to withstand the pain quite easily, the sheer pleasure of it had been another story. Instead of a little droplet her tears had flowed freely while snot leaked from her nose and her mouth drooled. She had lost all control over herself as she was dragged back and forth by Jiraiyas violent, brutal thrusts which rocked her whole body.

Jiraiya had been so strong and so dominant. He towered over her, and with his wide shoulders and chiseled body she could not take her eyes off him. The moonlight and starlight both had made his sweaty body shine and glisten as he moved back and forth. And his dark eyes had been so intense as they drilled into her own brown ones. She had felt so desired. She had seen Jiraiya, her foolish teammate, as a man for the first time. And she had felt like a real woman.

The next morning had been a disaster. In two seconds flat she had dressed, slapped Jiraiya, called him a «virginity thief» and stormed out. She cringed at herself for having been so lame back then. «Virginity thief»? She should have said someting better. Or worse.

She had hated him at first, but then she had felt incredibly guilty also. She had soon concluded that they both had taken advantage of each other and that they both had needed a little closeness from the other as well.

She was deperate not to lose him as a friend then. He was after all the only one left, and she had no doubt that he only wanted what was best her. So she had set about making things right with them again. After having avoided him for three days she went to his apartment with a few bottles of sake to ease the process of talking things out. Of course, in her heightened emotional state, she failed to realise what a similar situation had lead to those three days earlier.

Tsunade blushed furiously and gave Jiraiya an angry look, but he did not notice as they went on walking in silence and Tsunades mind went back again six years.

It had taken about half an hour into the drinking before they were at it again. And that second night Jiraiya had, well Tsunade let him, break into her backdoor. Oh the shame.

It had been so exciting. Doing something so naughty with such a naughty boy. Seeing him again had made her unable to resist her desires and urges for his strong body against her own soft one. The sensation had been unlike anything she could have imagined. The pain coupled with the extreme, deep pleasure of having him thrusting inside such a dirty place made her go crazy.

A shiver ran through Tsunades spine as she remebered that second night between them. With her on all fours on that same wooden floor, shaking, and bursting her lungs out while screaming for Jiraiya.

The following morning she had not run away. She could not move her legs for one. And Jiraiya had seized the oppurtunity to tell her his feelings. How he had always loved her and how he wished that what had happened between had not happened in such a way at such a time. She had been unable to deny the spark that she had felt between them. Thinking on it she had always been physically attracted to him. Even from a time when they were genin and she was to young to understand. So she had relented and decided to make her bet on the two of them.

And there they were 6 years later walking arm in arm towards their shared apartment. She supposed that the last 6 years had been really good for them both as they had grown into adults together. Yeah, her bet on Jiraiya had paid off. He could be annoying at times, but he made her happy. Even if their relationship was somewhat hedonistic in nature. The nights before Jiraiya would leave for missions, and even more so the nights when he came home, were very passionate affairs between the two of them. And even though they were not blessed with children, Tsunade was certain that this was a happy life.

After they had come home Jiraiya turned to look at her.

«You seem to be thinking quite alot today hime. What's bothering you?»

«Nothing Jiraiya. Just thinking about you is all.»

«Oh really? Did you figure anything out?» Jiraiya said with a wry smile.

Tsunade scoffed and crossed her arms before she replied: «The same thing i always figure out about you i guess.»

She wrapped her arms around him, and with her super strenght, threw him onto their couch before landing on top of him.

«I'm in love with you baka!»

«I love you too hime.» Jiraiya said as he stroked her back.

Tsunade gave him an annoyed look and her face grew into a pout. Jiraiya gave her a cheeky wink as his hands travelled southward and he gave both her buttcheeks good squeezes.

«Bingo big boy» Tsunade said as she gave him a ravishing kiss.

Meanwhile out in the universe some other funny business was going on. A few planets aligned, some of the lucky stars shone a little brighter and lady luck shrugged her shoulders and said: «Why not?»

A few days later, Jiraiya was away on a mission and Tsunade was feeling tired and nauseous. When she figured out what had happened she swore to beat up Jiraiya like never before. But when he returned he looked so handsome... so she made love to him instead.

And she married him also. That was after all what nobleborn, good girls like herself did in situations like these.