Random, insane, possibly stupid stories about Spyro (I aint a hater.)
Story 1
Disclaimer: Yeah whatever I don't own any part of Activision's Spyro, or Insomniac's Spyro, or whatever other characters I may through in. However, I do own my own damn OC's.
Authors note: So…this is what happens when I smoke excessive amounts of weed! Quick, odd, nonsensical, possibly stupid, and random one shots about Spyro! I'm going to write a short story every time I get buzzed. Just a heads up: some stories will be longer and more understandable than others, it all just depends.
Weed: Blue Island Haze. Just saying. Because different types really do have different effects on your imagination. I've always hated people who think all weed is the same. It aint. Because yea, imma pot head and a proud one at that! So I do what I do and piss off if you don't like it.
Anyway enjoy! But don't ask…ever.
Story one: The brown bag.
Spyro ran wild eyed through the sunny streets of Warfang with a brown paper bag hanging from the side of his mouth. He didn't know why or where he got it. All he knew was that he was oddly attached to it on a personal level. He felt even happier when the bag was hanging from his purple maw. Not hanging from his sides, nor when he clenched it between his claws, but when it was flapping in the wind in his mouth. He enjoyed the slight tugging sensation it gave his scaled 'lips'.
Brightly colored street stalls neatly lined the wide dirt roads of the city, all of which a merchant stood by, shouting out exaggerations of the products they were wishing to sell, some of which luck favored. The numerous colors of their canvases seemed to blend together creating a rainbow-ish affect making the city seem more alive than it has ever been before.
An ordinary day for the many citizens of the city, but for Spyro, today was a very special day. He continued to run excitedly through the streets with his baggie, dodging individuals as he sped by. Street after street after street he ran through, racing to the destination of which he so desperately wished to be at. Many pointed and shout at him in joy, believing that being crossed by the purple savior was not only a good omen, but a gift from the ancestors.
"Almost there baggie." He mumbled to himself through quick breaths.
He soon came upon his beloved destination. A park. But this was no ordinary park, but a park with trees. He quickly made his way to the nearest tree, hid behind it and stuffed his snout into the bag. He had never been so happy.
"Yo Jenny, pass the joint already." Steve joked, "You've had it all day!". The no walled tree fort they resided in creaked ever so slightly as the slim, brown haired female adjusted herself to a more comfortable sitting position, Steve following her example.
She laughed inwardly at the stupid joke her friend cracked, "Yeah but to you, if anyone else has the joint a day is an hour.?" she voiced in a slightly shaky manner. She held the joint between her pointer and middle fingers. She extended her arm and just as Steve was about to take it, she jerked her arm back and took one last quick hit, then gave it to him.
"You're such a bitch sometimes." Her male friend said with a friendly smile as he brought the joint to his mouth and took a hit. He added smugly, "So for that I get five drags.". He inhaled again and successfully French inhaled. Jenny's jaw hit the floor.
"How do you do that? Oh my god I'm so jealous!" she yelled with fake anger. To add onto her little show, she swung a clenched fist in the air then laughed. "You've got to teach me. Promise?".
After contemplating the task, which everything at the moment was a task, he agreed. Being the gentleman he was, after only his second hit which he should have had five, passed the half smoked joint over. "Alright-wait, let me readjust into a more comfortable position- Ok, this is how you do it."
Jenny listened intently, then, right as she was about to try, the world around her suddenly started spinning as every color in the woods and sky blended heavily together. Dizziness flowed over her as she started waving around in circles. "Steve." She voiced in a slurry fashion, "Ssomething not riiiggght." Her fear beginning to grow as the spinning colors turned into a wheel of random colors.
Steve looked around at the woods before him and bobbed his head in agreement, "Yeah…I'm pretty stoned." His eyes drooped, "Don't worry, it's only your third time, you don't have any tolerance and this is top dollar haze." He smiled at her, but his smile faded into an expression of uncertainty. "Jenny?"
"Steve, please help!" she voiced again, fear evident in her voice, "Something isn't right! This isn't supposed to happen!" She continued to circle around, each time becoming more and more violent.
"Jenny? Jenny!" but it was too late, before he could reach her, the world began to shape and spin with colors flying in random directions. He managed to grab Jenny by the shoulder and yank her down into a laying position as he did the same before her. "Just lay still and try to fall asleep." He said in a gentle voice, giving what comfort he had to her, "It's okay, it's aaallll okay.".
Jenny passed out before his eyes. With tears of fear, Steve followed suit.
Spyro brought his muzzle out of the paper bag and giggled, "You're my best friend baggie! Isn't this the greatest!" he yelled stupidly before letting his snout freefall back into the paper bag. His joy was unbelievable. Nothing he had ever done brought this much joy to him as his paper bag did. The little folded brown piece of paper never failed to make him laugh. Not now, not ever.
Suddenly, ruining his joy, something heavy fell down from the tree and landed on top of him. Spyro instantly brought his muzzle out and looked what had ruined his happiness and growled at what he saw. A sleeping monkey. He was about to smack the oddly shaped monkey away from him until another oddly shaped monkey fell from the tree, landing on his head. Dizzy, the purple screamed and hid behind a different tree, holding the bag gently in his mouth.
He scanned the tree of which the monkeys fell from. When he decided there was nothing else waiting to try to annihilate him, he cautiously made his way back to the monkeys. After tapping them each several times without waking them, he lay back down and shoved his snout back into the bag.
Jenny slowly opened her eyes and looked around. After confirming she wasn't dead, she sat up and took in her surroundings and gasped. A reptile with wings. Steve followed suit after waking up.
Spyro heard sounds behind him. Without removing the snout from his friend, he looked behind him and screamed, ripping his bag in half. He roared in fury and slit his throat with the end of his tail blade. He was dead.
Jenny screamed when the reptile thing roared and killed itself, Steve followed suit a few seconds later. They got to their feet as quickly as they could and ran for cover. Unfortunately for Jenny, she tripped over the things tale and her head fell into the reptilian mouth. Even more unfortunate for Jenny, her throat fell directly on its teeth killing her. Steve followed suit, on accident because of another part of its tale, but nonetheless, following suit.
Authors note: Don't ask, I got angry and felt like someone should die...or a few. Anyway, this is what happens when I smoke excessive amounts of weed (not every time!). Yeah, don't ask what the hell happened near the end. Please. Because shit….I'm high! Well I was, but this is exactly what I would have written while high. I only decided to do it after so it would at least be readable. I know what you're thinking, "OMG! This guy's crazy!" and your mad at me for writing this but whatever…imma smoker biotch!
PS: This was nowhere near to how well I can actually write. Personally, I didn't like it all that much. But I promised myself I would write exactly what I though and I did...
A smoker that is looking at you
