It is a quiet day at the Royal Britannian Zoo. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and the animals in their cages are mostly either sleeping or lolling about. The exceptions though are Mako the polar bear who is indiscreetly scratching himself and Shigure the hedgehog who is attempting to copulate with a rock. It is not working. Suddenly the peaceful calm of the day is broken as shouts are heard of "Oh my God!" "This is madness!" "This is so going on britspace1!" "What the hell?!" and "Grab my gun Aidou, I'm about to go huntin'!" A cloud of dust is seen moving quickly past the cages of animals. It appears to be a person traveling at extremely high speed. A person with wavy blond hair, blue eyes, and the possible IQ of a trout. The person is wearing a trench coat, white gloves, running shoes, and a cravat. The figure, who appears to be male, runs past the panda cage, but stops at the monkeys. He pays little mind to the angry crowd chasing after him. He rips open his trench coat, smiling a dazzling smile at the monkeys, some of whom shriek and fall off their branches. Others throw bananas, one pulls out a camera and starts taking pictures, and one holds up a sign that appears to say "MY EYES!" Seeing the sign, another monkey scowls, takes the sign from the first monkey and hits it over the head with the sign. The other monkey retaliates with a slap and a bitch (primate?) fight ensues. "Thank you all! You've been a wonderful audience!" Sexy Clovis cries dramatically as he pulls his trench coat closed and sprints off into the sunset. "For the last time!" the zookeeper screeches "YOU ARE NOT SEXY!" Laughter is heard from the direction of the sunset before a crash and a "DAMMIT!"
Suzaku starts dry retching at the mental images and Lelouch's eye is twitching. Clovis laughs gaily, saying "And that's why I'm not allowed at the zoo anymore! Ahahahahaha!"
1 The Britanniann version of myspace
