A Single Teardrop
You were always enough.
Just four words. How those four words could make him feel one to many emotions is beyond him. Sitting at his desk, waiting for his mom to drive him to the airport he regrets looking through his yearbook . He finally said his goodbyes last night at the café. The five of them decided to meet there. He said it was symbolic ,Brooke said we'd get free food. While Haley and Nathan were talking to Peyton about what major she choose he decided to take this time to sneak out for some fresh air.
Stepping out into the warm afternoon , watching the kids run around in the park, was enough to almost make him want to stay. He couldn't imagine how his life could get any better than this. The sun setting , right in front of his eyes. It seemed like if he just reached out his hand a little further, he would be touching the sun. You couldn't find a scene like this in New York , that was for sure.
" Makes you wish you hadn't taken this for granted , doesn't it?"
Startled, he jumped up. Not noticing the brunette who found her way into his thoughts.
" Yeah ." he muttered and turned back towards the sunset.
" I'm scared too , you know." Brooke whispered after a few moments of silence.
He turned to look at her , confused.
"Wh-what do you mean? " But he knew what she meant . She always knew what he was thinking. Even at times like these ,when he wish she didn't.
" Don't play dumb with me Luke , I know you better than you think I do."
" Yeah , well I don't know what your talking about." He didn't mean for it to come out so harsh but he knew where this was heading and if he was being completely honest here, wasn't in the mood to have this conversation.
" I think you do. Remember when the guidance counselors were meeting with us? To talk about what we planned to do after high school? God , I remember admitting to her that I was afraid. For the first time Brooke Davis was scared of not knowing who she'd become or where her life was heading. Funny huh? But I think… I think was even more terrified of not having Peyton or Haley , or you ." She confessed, thankful he was staring off into the purple sky , knowing that if he was facing her he would see straight through her eyes and into her heart.
Just like she thought , his head snapped in her direction. His eyes sought to find hers , she unsteadily turned to face him, not once breaking the gaze he whispered ,
" You'll always have me Brooke."
She found it hard not to laugh at that.
" Right." She deadpanned.
"Where does that fall? Somewhere in between saving Peyton one day at a time?" She couldn't help it , it just slipped out. In reality she wasn't looking for a fight, they were all leaving tomorrow and she knew this might be the last time for a while that they all could just hangout , drama free that is.
" I'm sorry , I didn't mea-"
" No , don't apologize. If anything I should be saying I'm sorry , not you Brooke." he didn't want to get into this but he knew it was now or never. He looked at her , straight through your soul, know everything your thinking kind of look. The look that to this day sends chills down Brookes spine.
" What are you talking about Lucas?" Now it was her turn to play dumb. She knew were this was leading and frankly she didn't know if she could handle it.
" Remember when you broke up with me?"
" Of course I do." she replied cautiously , even somewhat fragile it seemed.
And for the first time in a long time he looked at her , really looked at her. Taking in her appearance for the first time in months , she still looked as beautiful as ever. Her golden skin glistening from the suns rays beating down on her face. Her smooth golden brown hair cascading down her shoulders. And her smile , her smile didn't reach her eyes. It faltered , not showing off her amazing dimples that he had come to adore. How could he have not realized?
"I wanted to say something , anything. To let you know that I wanted you , that I needed you. But you caught me off guard and I couldn't hear myself think. My world was falling apart right before my eyes and I just sat there."
"I let you go." his voice was caught in his throat as he silently mumbled those last words. Never admitting until now, how much that actually impacted him.
She stared at him. Eyes wide, mouth open. He could tell that she was surprised , hell even he was surprised !
" Lucas…" her raspy voice always sent chills down his spine. She didn't know what to say to that. Here she thought , for months , that he didn't say anything because secretly he was relieved. He could be with Peyton now, like he wanted. Without having to worry about being tied down with her.
" No Brooke, I have to get this out. You told me that because I stopped missing you , you eventually stopped missing me. But who said that I ever stopped missing you? Why was I the only person you kept in the dark? Who said that just because I was hanging out with Peyton or doing my own thing that you weren't on my mind? Because you were. You always were! Why wasn't I enough Brooke!"
She was getting angry. He could tell because her nostrils started flaring and her eyes went cold, he instantly stopped talking. By this time they were both standing up, staring him directly in the eyes she fought back tears.
" You do not get to say that to me Lucas Scott." She whimpered. Her face was flushed and he could tell this was not going the way she had planned.
" I couldn't do it anymore Luke! Fighting to keep us together when it seemed like you wanted out. I wasn't going to do that to myself , or to you. We went days without having a meaningful conversation. And I used to miss you so much when that happened. But you had Peyton, god Lucas, you had my best friend! And it got to the point where I didn't want to put myself through that again. Knowing that at any moment you could realize that she was the girl you were supposed to be with. Where would that leave me? My heart couldn't handle that. My heart wasn't ready for that."
He squeezed his eyes shut. She sounded so heartbroken, so far away. For a moment he thought she was done , but than misery gave way to anger.
"It's been five months. Five months since I walked out of your room and five months since you choose not to come after me! And you decide right now to tell me this? Actions speak louder than words Luke , you of all people should know that. If you missed me so goddamn much why did it seem like every time I tried to hang out with MY boyfriend you were with Peyton?"
He didn't know what to say. He was trapped and she knew it.
" Why her Lucas?" She sobbed quietly
" Why her.."
In one single motion his arms were around her. Holding her tightly, gently whispering that he was sorry and that he didn't know what to say or do to make everything better. He brought her over to the bench , a couple feet away from the Café door. He brushed the fallen strays of hair away from her face. Leaned in so that their noses were more or less touching , stared into her emerald green eyes and mumbled
" I wish I had an answer for you Brooke. But I don't. I just … I don't." He looked defeated.
She stared at him and nodded. What else could she do? She wished he would tell her that he wanted to make things right between them again. That he was so unbelievably, can't eat , can't sleep deeply in love with her that it hurt. So much that he got scared and pushed her away. The truth was, that even if he had said something remotely close to that she wouldn't know how to react. It's one thing to dream about something, but to have the man you love , yes Brooke Davis still loves Lucas Scott , actually say those words to you , it's a completely different situation.
She stood up quickly, smoothed out her outfit , dabbed the tears off her cheeks and plastered a grin on her face.
" I think we should be getting back inside , they're probably wanting to send out a search party by now." She tried to joke , but he could tell she was anything but cheerful. He didn't blame her. He wasn't all that cheerful himself. She looked at him one last time before turning around , heading for the door.
"Hey Brooke .."
She turned her head , waiting for him to say something.
" Some one once told me that, people who are meant to be together always find their way in the end. I still believe that"
She stared at him for a few seconds before smiling slightly and walking into the café ,leaving him there to ponder in his own thoughts. After a few moments he got up and returned to what was supposed to be a relaxing, drama free night.
Haley had come over that morning to bring him his yearbook. Telling him that he forgot it at the café and should be more careful were he left his belongings. Always count on Haley to scold you when your already feeling down. Flipping through the pages he laughed at the pictures that had been used. Some of him and Nathan goofing around in class. Others of Haley with Nathan , him with Peyton or with Mouth. Than he froze, staring at the picture ,his heart fluttered. Only one girl could do that to him. It was of him and Brooke laying under a tree. He assumed it was lunch time because, as she always did, she was stuffing chips in his mouth. He never understood why she insisted on feeding him, but never once did he question her. But that's not what he'd noticed , he noticed how her smile reached her eyes. And if he squinted just a little, he could make out her perfect little dimple. She never looked more breathtaking, and he cursed himself for taking that away from her. But than something caught his eye. Right under the picture, in what looked like Brookes handwriting was ,
You were always enough Lucas Scott , enough for my entire life.
And don't you dare think otherwise .
x
And right beside that lied a single teardrop.
Authors Note : Thats it ! My first story . I hope you guys enjoyed it enough to leave a review ) Who knows , maybe i'll make it longer!
I have to give a shout out to Tigger ! ( Lynn 'justlikebrooke') who put up with my freaking out over this story ! Shes seriously the best author i know so go out a read her stories haha
