A/N: This is a practice fiction and constructive criticism is appreciated. Please forgive my mistakes as I am new at this but don't be afraid to point them work is based on an episode of baby daddy and P&P.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Baby Daddy or Pride and Prejudice. This is just for fun.
OUT CRAZY THE CRAZY
"Charlie, this is all your fault." Will cried exasperatedly.
"Hey! How is any of this my fault?" Charlie asked.
"Well, you're the one who set me up with Caroline the crazy." Will replied with an accompanying glare pointed at Charlie.
"Oh, come on, now you're just exaggerating; I mean I know she's persistent, but I wouldn't call her crazy."
"She copied my keys and completely reorganized my home, my closet, and even my toiletry shelf."
"Okay, so maybe she's a little crazy." Charlie replied sheepishly.
Meanwhile, Jane and Richard were watching the back and forth between the two friends with identical smirks.
They were gathered at Jane and Charlie's for dinner when the issue of Caroline was brought up by a frustrated Darcy. He had gone on one date with her where he realized almost immediately that she was a crazy stalker, who had been stalking him for months and had only befriended Charlie so he could set her up with Darcy.
Charlie, being the eternal pushover that he was, had fallen right in her trap and set her up with Darcy. A mistake that he regretted to this day.
"Look, I'm sorry man, but in my defense, how was I supposed to supposed to know that she was only acting normal to get to you? I mean it's not like I'm a mind reader or anything." Charlie stated sadly.
"Yeah, come on Will, stop being so hard on Charlie, I don't see it solving your problem anyway." Richard added.
"So, what is going to solve my problem? Come on, I'm open to suggestions." Will requested with desperation.
"You could break up with her, like a normal person." Jane remarked.
"Okay, first off, there is no relationship to break in the first place, and second, what makes you think I haven't already tried that, it just does doesn't work. Caroline is the mother of all crazies." Will fumed while putting his face in his hands dejectedly.
"That's it!" Richard exclaimed while jumping up from the couch, startling everyone.
"What's it Richard? Tell me now before I squeeze it out of you." Will begged and threatened at the same time.
"I know how you can get rid of her. You just have to out crazy the crazy."
Before Will could ask Richard what he meant by that, there was a resounding knock on the door that caught everyone's attention.
Jane got up and looked through the peephole.
"Who is it? Tell me this is not one of those 'speak of the devil' situations." Will muttered.
"No, don't worry it's not Caroline." Jane replied while reaching for the doorknob.
Just as Will was about to take a breath of relief, Lizzie Bennet walked in and hugged Jane. And just like that, Will's breath was caught again.
Jane and Charlie had befriended Elizabeth when she had just moved to New York from London, and had started working for a law firm that represented Charlie's company. Soon enough the three of them had become great friends as Lizzie was very easy to get along with.
In the beginning, Charlie had thought that his new Brit friend could be great for Will and tried to throw them in each other's company, but Will being Will had called her tolerable and not pretty enough for him in her hearing range and after that; Lizzie had refused to be in his company ever again.
However, since Jane, Charlie and Richard were the only friends they both had, Will and Lizzie were thrown in each other's company more frequently then Lizzie liked and her disdain for him grew with every meeting. She expressed her disdain by aiming her razor-sharp wit towards Will and having a little fun in the process.
Will's thoughts were not the same as Lizzie's, in fact, with every meeting he had found her utterly fascinating. At just 26 she was shortlisted as a potential partner at Gardiner and Collins, one of the most prestigious law in New York and had graduated top of her class at Cambridge University. Like him, she was also an avid reader and had an opinion about everything. But what Will was most drawn to was the fire in her bright green eyes whenever she would express her opinions.
Will had also noticed that he had been incorrect in his initial assessment of her beauty as her dark hair, creamy skin and tall, graceful figure made her one prettiest woman of his acquaintance.
Elizabeth never forgave him for his blatant insult towards her and therefore, never gave him the time of the day and would only talk to him to tease him mercilessly, which frustrated Will to no end and led him to accept a date with Caroline, which was how he had ended up in his current predicament.
"What's the matter, Darcy? Cat got your tongue?" Lizzie chimed, greatly amused at Will's dumbstruck expression.
"Lizzie!" Jane berated. "Don't tease Will today please, he has enough trouble on his own."
"Oh, Blimey!" Lizzie deadpanned, then continued sarcastically, "May I be as bold as to inquire what the nature of this trouble is?"
Will groaned loudly at that. He knew how much fun she was having at his expense, yet, he could do nothing about it. Lizzie going all formal was her way of telling him that she was only getting started. However, a small part of him longed to see how she would react to him having a stalker, so he waited for someone to fill her which Richard and Charlie did a little too eagerly.
If Will thought Lizzie was going to be jealous or shocked, then he was wrong because as soon as Richard finished, Lizzie burst into a fit of laughter with everyone staring at her like she had two heads.
Lizzie, realizing the effect her laughter was having on everyone, immediately stifled her laughter.
"I'm sorry, I know it's not funny, but I just can't help it." She remarked, "See Charlie, I told you she was a wanker, yet somehow you took that to mean something else, and now look what happened."
"Wait, you've met Caroline!" Will cried.
"Of course I have, Charlie here introduced us last week; see Charlie, I told you, never ever underestimate the opinions of a lawyer. I mean, only a glance was enough to see her striking resemblance to Cat Debourgh and stay at least 10 miles away from her."
"Who's Cat Debourgh?" Richard inquired.
"A client at my firm, truly, the scariest person I have ever met." Lizzie answered with a shudder.
"What makes her so scary? And more importantly, how is she like Caroline?" Jane asked.
"Well…." Lizzie started, "She stalked a rich man, forced him to marry her and then tried to kill him, while taking all his money in the process…." Lizzie trailed off on seeing Will's horrified expression. "Not that the same would happen to you, Darcy."
"Hey Charlie, can I talk to you for a sec?" Will stuttered.
"Umm, yeah sure." Charlie stated while walking toward the kitchen island.
"What is the meaning of this?" Will whispered furiously.
"Hey, don't worry man, I'm sure Caroline won't turn out exactly like Cat Debourgh…."
"That's not what I meant", Will interrupted, "Why did you introduced Caroline to Elizabeth before you set me up with her?"
"I'm sorry Will I really am, look, I know you like Lizzie but you were doing nothing about it. Lizzie doesn't show any of her true feelings either, so I introduced her to Caroline and told her that I intended to set you up with her. When she warned me against it, I thought she was jealous and set you up with Caroline anyway to make her show her true feelings. How was I supposed to know she was serious?"
"Damn it, Charlie! How long have you known?"
"What!? That Caroline's crazy? I swear…."
"No, you idiot, how long have you known that I like Lizzie?"
"Oh that! Everyone knows that." Charlie stated as a matter of fact.
"Everyone!?" Will almost shouted.
"Well, everyone but the girl herself."
At that, Will groaned loudly as he realized that they both had the same thing in mind about the date with Caroline, but it had come back and hit them hard.
"Helloooo…." Lizzie called, "If you ladies are done whispering over there, then please come here I'm leaving, I have work."
At that both Will and Charlie sprinted back towards the living room.
"Leaving so soon, Lizzie?" Charlie asked.
"Yes, of course, Oh! And I almost forgot what I really came here for", She said while searching for something in her purse, "Here you go Charlie, the workshop receipt for your car."
"It's paid." Charlie remarked while eyeing the receipt.
"Of course it is, you didn't think I was going to leave your car damaged after the favor you did for me, did you?" Lizzie replied.
"It was just an accident, Lizzy, wasn't even that massive." Charlie assured.
"Charlie, I smashed your Mustang's side with a mailbox and demolished it in the process", Lizzie shuddered slightly at the memory, then continued while flailing dramatically, "It may not seem like a big deal, but it is. A mailbox is federal property, I could've gone to jail for that, you know, like Cat Debourgh behind bars, with a stainless-steel toilet and no hair product. I would never make it." She took a deep breath then added, "I mean, the girl's there are even crazier then Darcy's new flat mate."
At this, a light bulb clicked in Will's head, "Oh my God! That's exactly what we need."
"Come on Will, Listen…."
"No, no, no its exactly what Richard said, we need to out crazy the crazy." Will stated stopping Charlie. "Hey Elizabeth, you think you can ask Cat Debourgh to come and scare Caroline away?"
Lizzie did a double take on that, not understanding how Will got to that specific point, "What?! There is no way I am I'm calling the scariest person I know to come threaten your new flat mate." Lizzie snapped. "Besides Darcy, I don't owe you anything."
"But you owe me." Charlie added, realizing the heat of the situation and understanding Will's reasoning.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Lizzie cried.
"You just said so yourself about how I did you a big favor. Well, this is how you can repay it. Get Cat to help Will get rid of Caroline, and we're even."
"So basically, if I do this for Darcy, I owe you nothing."
"Exactly." Charlie confirmed.
"OK, so I owe you a favor but Cat doesn't, what makes you think she'll agree to this?"
This time it was Will who answered instead of Charlie, "I'll pay her …." He trailed off on seeing everyone facing him.
"I mean you just told us that she wants money and I'll give her money." Then added exasperatedly, "Oh come on people! I'm desperate."
Everyone hummed an agreement in unison and then looked at Lizzie.
"Ugh! Fine I'll call her. But what exactly do you want her to do?" Lizzie asked.
"OK, so here's what I have in mind…."
"Oh, Will honey, I'm so glad you decided to introduce me to your friends. After all, they also deserve to know the love of your life." Caroline spoke trying to sound appreciative, but sounding whiny instead.
Will had come back home the previous night only to be greeted by a scantily clad Caroline. After avoiding her all night, which was exhausting, he invited Jane, Charlie and Richard to set their plan in motion at lunch instead of dinner. Will was not willing to wait that long to get rid of Caroline.
They were now in position according to their plan. Will was on the couch with Caroline, her head propped on his shoulder. Charlie and Richard were standing behind the breakfast bar while Jane was seated on one of the bar stools. Now all that was left was for Cat to show up.
Just then a loud knock was heard on the door.
"I wonder who that could be?" Will stated, completely devoid of expression. "Were you gentlemen expecting anyone?" He asked with the same deadpan.
"I know I am not." Replied Richard.
"Nor am I." Added Charlie.
Jane face palmed on their bad acting, but Caroline seemed oblivious, so it was working so far.
Will got up, walked the few steps towards the door and opened it, expecting to see Cat Debourgh. To say he was shocked would be an understatement; because at the other side of the door, stood Lizzie Bennet, not Cat Debourgh as expected.
"Elizabeth, what are you doing here?! Where's Cat? And more importantly why are you dressed like that?" Will whispered, furiously gesturing towards her attire.
Lizzie was dressed in dark ripped skinny jeans, black combat boots, a white tank top and a red plaid hoodie. To top it all off her dark hair had cornrows on side while the was loose and she was wearing red lipstick and smoky eye shadow.
"Hey sorry for the change, but turns out the number Cat gave me was from a stolen phone. But don't worry, I got this." She reassured Will and got into character by pulling the lapels of her hoodie and putting her hands on her hips. "Shut up Darcy and let me through!" she belted loudly with an exaggerated nasal drawl while chewing gum and pushed past Darcy, walking toward the living room.
Will, utterly confused with the whole situation, decided to follow her lead.
"I'm home!" Lizzie drawled loudly, then stopped on seeing Caroline, "Yo! Who's the wig stand?" She asked, eyeing Caroline dangerously.
"Better question, who's this?" asked Caroline.
Charlie and Richard decided to play along as well. Will just stood there dumbstruck.
"That's Cat, Will's on-off girlfriend." Charlie replied.
"Yeah, she's been away for the last six months." Added Richard.
"S'posed to be nine, but you know, good behavior." Lizzie stated, seductively eyeing Will who was still slack jawed. She then turned towards Caroline, "And how about you, get your feet off my coffee table," she said while kicking Caroline's feet off the coffee table with one of her own, "I didn't steal it for you to ruin." Lizzie stated, leaning towards Caroline.
Will finally found his voice, grabbing Lizzie's arms from behind, he slightly stuttered, "And this is Caroline, she's…. well, she's a friend." He told Lizzie who was still in a staring competition with Caroline.
"Oh, I am a lot more than a friend," Caroline added, standing up.
"Well you're not anymore! Cuz now that I'm out, I am back with ma man, and I'm warnin ya, don't get in my way." Lizzie stated, shoving past Caroline's shoulder roughly and giving Richard and Charlie a wide-eyed look.
"Was that a threat?" Caroline demanded.
"Yes, I believe it was, one that I would take very seriously." Will answered wide eyed, still shocked at Lizzie's performance.
"And if I eva see ya here again, I'm gonna do some bad things; some very bad things." Lizzie said while fully utilizing her height advantage over the petite Caroline.
Will was utterly impressed by the fire in Lizzie's eyes. But he knew it was not the time for that. He couldn't help himself as Lizzie looked stunning, even though she was threatening.
"Oh yeah! Like what?!" Caroline demanded, though it was easy to see she was scared out of her wits.
"Like the things that sent me to the big house before. Trust me, dahlin you don't wanna know." She dragged the last word.
"You don't scare me!" Caroline stated, her shaky voice did not make her sound very convincing.
"Then why are ya shakin, Liney" Lizzie drawled, shooting venom and maintaining eye contact with a now fidgeting Caroline.
"OK, that's it!" Caroline cried, trying to regain some of her lost dignity. She grabbed her purse and stomped towards Will. "William Darcy! You could have broken up with me, like a normal person."
"I tried, like a billion times."
"But nooo, you had to let me get threatened by your crazy girlfriend. Well guess what I refuse to be intimidated and I don't want to stick around here any longer." Caroline huffed while Will opened the door for her, "And to think I was gonna make you marry me!" She yelled and stomped away, out of his life forever.
The silence in the next few seconds was deafening.
"So! That was a good save." Richard deadpanned.
"It's over, she's gone." Jane, who had been a silent observer up to that point, added.
"Lizzie! You scared her off. That was so amazing. Where did you learn how to talk like that?" Charlie filled the silence.
"I guess I was just channeling my inner Cat Debourgh." Lizzie replied.
"Well this calls for a celebration, Lizzie Bennet just outcrazied, crazy Caroline and Will is finally free. I'll go get the good stuff." Richard chimed, heading towards Will's wine cellar.
"We'll help you choose." Jane said, grabbing Charlie's arm and following Richard.
"So, I guess now I owe you one." Will finally spoke to Lizzy, breaking out of his trance.
"You sure do, Darcy." Lizzie replied.
They all celebrated till late at night at which point, they were all too drunk to get themselves home, so they decided to stay the night at Will's place which was fine since it was a Saturday night and nobody had to work the next day.
The next morning, a hungover Will decided to sit on the balcony as was his usual routine, despite the headache and was surprised to find Lizzie already there with a cup of coffee in her hands.
"What, no tea?" Will smirked at Lizzie and took a seat next to her.
"Just because I'm English, doesn't mean I drink tea in the morning." Lizzie replied, returning his smirk.
"Hey, thanks once again for what you did by the way, I never could have done that on my own."
Lizzie couldn't help but notice his changed mien. At his own home, Will was different, more relaxed and he had dimples, something she had never noticed before. 'Maybe I misjudged him after all'. She thought.
"Hey, earth calling Elizabeth! Where did you get lost to!"
"You can call me Lizzie, Darcy. All my friends do."
"On one condition," Will replied.
"What?" Now she was amused already guessing what the condition was.
"I will call you Lizzie, if you call me Will." Will replied meekly.
"I think I can handle that," Lizzie stated, "Will." She added after a few seconds, making his dimples erupt full force.
"When do you think everyone else get up?" Lizzie asked after a few minutes of awkward silence.
"I don't think they're getting out of bed before noon, I'm used to getting up early and I'm guessing you are too, so that's why I'm here." Will answered.
"Great!" Lizzie deadpanned.
At this point, Will realized that he might not get a chance to be alone with Lizzy again. He decided to come clean to her about his own feelings, which was something he had put off for long enough.
"Well, since it's just us, I wanted to take this opportunity to apologize for my past behavior towards you, but in my defense, I only behaved like that because you intimidated me." Will spoke in one breath, not willing to hold it in any longer.
"I intimidated you?! Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?" Lizzie asked, confused at Will's statement.
"Yes, I know, but it's true. You Lizzie Bennet are the most intimidating, fascinating girl I have ever met and whenever I'm around you, I feel like a complete idiot. But it's not something I can help." Will finally expressed.
"If you really felt that way, why did you call me tolerable the first time we met?" Lizzie asked, losing her patience.
"Because I was an Idiot. I barely looked at you and said those words because I was cranky, but only a few days after that, when I realized that I was completely besotted with you; I still am." Will took the leap.
Lizzie remained silent at that, not knowing what to say. She was still shocked over the rapid change of direction in their conversation.
"Listen Lizzie, I've just told you everything I feel and if you don't feel the same way, that's fine, but I couldn't go another moment without letting you know. I went on a date with Caroline for crying out loud, just to see if you would get jealous, but..."
Here Lizzie cut him off, "I Don't feel the same way Will."
Will looked up, hurt evident on face, but Lizzie wasn't done.
"I don't feel the same way because I don't know the real you. But I would like to, know the real you, that is, so that someday I could return your feelings. Besides you're not the only one who made an error in judgement. I obviously did the same, I believed you to be an arrogant jerk and stayed firm on that belief. Until now."
Will just looked at her for a few seconds before his dimples returned.
"So, Miss Bennet, would you like to know the real me over dinner, preferably tonight?" Will asked hopefully, reaching out for her hand.
Lizzie put her hand in his and squeezed, "It would be my pleasure, Mr. Darcy." She said with a smile.
