Disclaimer: Primeval belongs to Impossible Pictures, no copyright intended
A/N : This is in response to the Plot Bunny challenge on Denial on LiveJournal, 15/2/10 - won't post the details of the challenge as it will spoil the twists in the tale for those that haven't seen the challenge.
Major angst alert!
Connor had been here so many times before, and it never got easier. Needles, blood tests, scans, x-rays, hospitals, drugs …. It had all been a major part of his life for almost two years. He had hoped he could leave it all behind and file it away in the back of his head when he was finally given the "all clear" – but it seemed that was not going to be the case.
He'd not been feeling well for a few weeks, but had dismissed it as working too hard and not eating properly. Then, he'd fallen over during a chase and the bruise on his leg turned black, purple and green almost immediately. In most people, this wouldn't cause alarm, but in Connor it re-awoke his worst nightmare. He'd hoped he was just being paranoid.
The doctor came back to the desk and sat facing Connor directly. "I've been looking through your old files, Connor" he began "You've been in remission for just over 5 years now?" Connor nodded. "And you've been in good health until now, looking after yourself?
"Just tell me, Dr Johnson. It's back isn't it?"
The doctor nodded "I'm sorry, Connor, yes, you've had a relapse"
--
Abby was worried about Connor. She knew he'd been to the hospital to get some blood test results. When she'd had her tests last year, the receptionist at the doctor's surgery just gave her the results over the phone. If Connor had been called into the hospital, it must be something bad. He'd come home and gone straight up to his room, without a word. She made him a cheese sandwich and a mug of tea, and took it up to him.
"Hey, are you hungry?" she said softly. Connor had his head buried under the duvet. He muttered something she couldn't hear. "Conn?". He didn't respond. "OK, look, I'll leave it here on the side for you. If you want to talk… well you know where I am"
She started to make her way back down the stairs when she heard "Abs?". She turned round, Connor was sitting up in bed and he'd been crying.
"What's wrong Conn?" she said, sitting on the bed and putting her arm around his shoulder. She could feel him trembling, and he began to cry. She pulled him close to her, allowing his head to rest on her chest. She let him cry, just sitting there stroking his hair. After several minutes, he eventually pulled away and looked at Abby "Do you want to talk about it?"
He took a deep breath. "I have … Leukaemia, acute myeloid leukaemia to be precise"
Abby gasped. She didn't know what to say. She squeezed his hand and fought back her own tears, realising Connor needed her to be strong.
"It's not the first time. I was diagnosed with it at 17, right in the middle of my A-levels. I had months of chemo, and luckily it worked. I had some follow up treatments, and studied for my exams whilst going in and out of hospital" He closed his eyes as the memories of that awful period came flooding back, the vomiting, the tiredness, losing huge chunks of his hair. It didn't really hit him how serious things were, until one of the other patients who had been diagnosed at the same time as him died. "I was one of the lucky ones I've been clear of it for five years" he said, staring at his feet.
Abby's head felt like it was going to explode. She had so many questions, but didn't know how to ask them. Shakily, she eventually asked "What's the prognosis?"
"I don't know. I have to go back to see the specialist in a few days and he'll go through the options with me" he was beginning to cry again "Abby, I don't think I can do this again"
"Yes you can, Connor. We'll fight this, we'll do whatever it takes to get you well again" She pulled him close to her again, allowing herself to cry a little as well with him.
--
Abby sat at her desk in the ARC, lost in her thoughts. She had glanced at her watch and knew Connor would be in with the specialist now. She'd offered to go with him, but he said he'd rather go alone, and despite her protests, he went. Sarah brought her a coffee over. "Thinking about Connor?"
"Yeah" Abby replied. "It's so unfair! To get it once in your life is cruel enough, but to have it come back …. " her face crumpled.
"He'll be OK. He's fit, and he's looked after himself these last few years" Sarah said. "Connor's tougher than he lets on sometimes"
"I know, but leukaemia ….. there was this kid in my year at school, she had it. She missed two years of school and then came back, all better. Then six months later she had a relapse and died" Abby blinked away the tears in her eyes.
Sarah grabbed a nearby chair and sat next to Abby. "Before we start getting upset, let's see what the doctor says today. Whatever the outcome, we just have to let Connor know we're here for him"
Abby's mobile rang, it was Connor "Hey, how did it go?" she said.
"Can you come and pick me up?" he said. His voice seemed strained.
"Sure, I'll be there in 15 minutes" She grabbed her bag and looked at Sarah. "He doesn't sound good" Sarah squeezed her hand, then Abby took a deep breath, and prepared to be the strong person Connor needed right now.
--
"So what treatment are they going to give you?" Abby asked. She was hunting for a couple of frozen pizzas for their dinner. When Connor didn't reply, a thought suddenly hit her "Connor, you are going to have treatment this time aren't you?"
"Yes" he said. "They're going to do a more intensive treatment this time. Apparently there is a better chance of it working if I have a bone marrow transplant"
"Well that's good isn't it?"
"The chemo made me so ill last time, Abby. Even after it stopped, it took me months before I got my strength back. This time, after the chemo has cleared the cancerous cells, I'll have the bone marrow transplant, and that will mean months in hospital again …. being in isolation, keeping everything sterile so that I don't get an infection."
Abby came over and hugged him. "It'll be worth it, if it means you getting better"
"Maybe it would just be easier if I didn't…."
Abby thumped him in the chest "Don't you dare talk like that! You can do this … WE can do this … I'm not letting you just give up without a fight!"
Connor saw the look of concern in Abby's eyes. "We?" he said. She nodded. He wiped the silent tears that were flowing down Abby's face, softly brushing her cheek. His lips brushed lightly against hers, sighing as her warmth touched him. She returned his kiss, feeling a rush of excitement as her lips parted and allowed his tongue in. It was brief, but said so much. It told Connor he was not alone.
--
Connor glanced over at Abby. She'd taken a few days off work to drive him up to his mum's. He hadn't wanted to tell her his news over the phone, and he also wanted to ask her about being a bone marrow donor. The doctor had said a family member would be the best match and the transplant would be more likely to be a success. His mum was the only family he had. He'd been asleep most of the journey, and felt guilty. Abby was doing him a huge favour and he hadn't even had the decency to stay awake.
"Hey sleepy! Glad you're awake, I'm going to need directions once we get off the motorway at the next junction" Abby said.
"Thanks for this" he said. "You're sure you're OK staying at the Travelodge tonight?"
"Course I am Conn. You need time alone with your mum. I'd just be intruding"
Half an hour later, Abby pulled up outside Connor's mum's house. She watched him walk slowly up the driveway, and waited to make sure someone was home. She saw a lady open the door, a huge grin on her face. She hugged her son, and Abby watched them disappear inside before she drove off. She had to park up two minutes later to let her tears fall. Connor's mum had looked so happy to see him, but within a few minutes her world would be shattered too.
--
"It's been far too long!" Mrs Temple said "To what do I owe the pleasure? Not that you need an excuse to come and see your old mum of course sweetie" she hugged him. She stepped back and looked at his face, she knew something was wrong. "Is everything OK Connor?"
"No mum it's not" he said. "You'd better sit down".
"Connor, you're scaring me" Mrs Temple sat down on the sofa and motioned for her son to sit next to her. "What is it?" her voice was barely a squeak.
"Mum" Connor took a deep breath "The leukaemia … I've had a relapse"
"Nooooooo!" she buried her head in her hands, sobbing uncontrollably. All Connor could do was put his arms around her. "But you've been well for so long!"
"I know"
After a few minutes, she went into the kitchen and began making herself busy. Connor followed her. "When do you start your treatment?"
"As soon as I get back from here"
"Same as before?"
"Stronger doses this time. And then they're suggesting I have a bone marrow transplant after as well" He watched his mum shaking as she tried to fill the kettle.
"Assuming they can find you a suitable donor?"
"That's partly why I'm here, mum. The best chance of it working is if the donor is a family member"
The kettle was slammed down and there was a look of both terror and anger on Mrs Temple's face "That's what I was afraid of"
"You don't have to do this, I understand if you're scared. The doctor said he'd talk to you about the procedure and …."
"No, Connor, you don't understand at all!.... I would do anything for you, .....anything,.... I love you. .....But I can't be a donor for you. I discussed all this with your doctors the last time" her tears were flowing fast as she took her son's hand. "Connor, I won't be a match to you because … because, I'm not your mother. You're adopted"
I'm no medical expert, so please, if there are any majors errors in this, please let me know by messaging me and I can do some edits. It's a delicate topic, and I want to make sure I'm doing it right - Thanks
